13. Jonah
Chapter 13
Jonah
When Mack and Cole enter the bathroom, I know it’s bad. Both of them look like they’re going to throw up.
“What is it?” I mouth, not wanting to disturb Shiloh. She’s no longer crying, but shivering in my arms.
Mack shakes his head as he glances down at Shiloh and I have no fucking clue what he’s trying to convey. Clearly, they don’t want to upset the poor Omega and my mind goes to the absolute worst scenario. It’s at that moment my knot finally releases us.
Shiloh whimpers, and her sobs start up again.
“I’m so sorry, princess,” I tell her. I don’t know how many times I apologize, only that I know it’s not enough.
My stomach hurts, and the guilt flooding me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Logically, I know I would never hurt her on purpose, but right now, all I can feel is self hatred for causing her so much pain.
She’s so much smaller than me, I can’t imagine what it felt like when we fell for her. Fuck.
All I can do is hold her and be thankful that she isn’t pushing me away, that she isn’t panicking. If anything, it’s like she’s trying to burrow into my skin, like she can’t get close enough.
Cole and Mack are both touching her back, and when I see the doctor and two employees enter the bathroom with a stretcher, I know I’ve ruined everything. I shake my head, but I know this has to be for her own safety.
Mack grabs her arm as the doctor takes out a syringe, flicking it twice and placing it in her bicep. It only takes a moment for her to go limp and I can’t help but to feel like I betrayed her completely.
Cole and one of the moderators puts her on the stretcher and Mack covers her up with a blanket, before holding out a hand to help me up.
My tailbone and ass hurt, but none of that matters as I look at her on that stretcher.
Maybe I was wrong, and I wasn’t ready to be pack Alpha, to have an Omega, to take care of someone so small and wonderful.
Mack is fully dressed and follows the Heat Haven workers.
“Meet us in the medical center when you get dressed,” Mack says, and I nod as Cole goes to the nest, and they cart her away.
I take a few steadying breaths and work on putting myself together. I can’t fall apart right now. I need to make sure she’s alright and accept the fact that she may want nothing to do with me after this. I’d deserve it.
I throw on the first pair of clothes I can find, pretty sure the shirt isn’t mine with how tight it feels, and silently follow Cole to the medical center.
He doesn’t say a word and I wonder how much he hates me right now, how much he rightfully blames me.
He found Shiloh; he had an instant connection with her, and I’ve ruined everything.
When we get there, Mack is sitting in a waiting room chair with his head in his hands. Cole and I sit next to him wordlessly as we wait for the doctor. The silence is deafening and all I can do is look down at the white and gray marble tile. I can’t look at Mack and Cole right now or I might completely lose it.
I’m not emotionally stunted, far from it. I came from a family where showing emotion was taught, where I was allowed to cry and show a wide range of feelings. But right now, I’d really rather not.
It feels like hours before the doctor comes out, holding his tablet.
“Shiloh has sustained a lateral malleolus fracture, it’s a break on the outer bone of the fibula,” he says, showing us the X-ray and bile raises in my throat.
I truly feel like I’m going to vomit.
I broke her fucking ankle.
“The good news is it seems stable, which means her treatment won’t need surgery. We’ll need to keep her leg elevated with ice on and off while she goes through sedation. She will receive IV fluids. I want the swelling to go down before we put a cast on. I have a colleague I recommend for followup care,” he says, pulling out a card and handing it to Mack. “We’ll bring her back up to the Lunar Suite shortly, where you can stay with her during her sedation. I will continue to check in on her, along with my staff. I expect she’ll be awake in around twenty-four to forty-eight hours.”
“Thank you,” Mack says, speaking for us.
The doctor nods his head and Cole and Mack stand while I stay seated.
“You two go. I need a minute,” I say, looking at the floor.
Mack squeezes my shoulder in solidarity before leaving to head back to the room.
It’s fucking stupid, and I know I’m a grown ass man, and I have no clue what time it is. But all I want to do is call my dad. So as soon as Cole and Mack leave, I make my way down to customer service and check out my phone.
It’s three in the morning, which makes me feel like shit, but I decide to make the call anyway.
I have three fathers, but I call my dad who has always been steady, sure, the pack’s Alpha, and always there when I need someone to talk to.
The phone only rings three times before he answers.
“Jonah, son, are you alright?” he says in his deep voice that still comforts me, even in my late twenties.
The sound that rattles out of me is pathetic.
“Jonah, what’s wrong?” he says, and I can hear the panic in his tone.
“I’m at Heat Haven with Cole and Mack. Cole had an Omega on his flight who went into heat, and we offered to help her. It was a chaotic situation, but it felt right. She feels right,” I say, my voice cracking on that last bit.
“Take a deep breath. In and out,” he says, before being cut off.
Suddenly, my mom’s melodic voice is on the phone. “Jonah, sweetie, what’s wrong?”
It breaks me as I lean against the wall and slowly glide down it, falling on my aching ass. I have to breathe in and out hard, a few tears escaping as I quickly wipe them away.
“I hurt her. I didn’t mean to. We fell in the shower and they had to sedate her for her heat. I fucking broke her ankle, Mom,” I tell her over the phone.
Maybe I’m a mama’s boy, maybe I’m just a goddamn mess, but right now I just can’t hold it together.
“Jonah, you listen to me. You are the kindest, most loving man and you would never hurt anyone on purpose. Do you need us to come to Philadelphia? What do you need?” she asks and I shake my head, knowing she can’t see me.
“I just needed someone to talk to. Mack seems to be handling it okay, but Cole…I think Cole hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you. You’re all probably tired, stressed, and it’s a lot to take in. They’re your pack, you’ll get through this. I’m sure this Omega is reasonable and will see it for the accident it is.”
“I don’t know. I don’t really know her. It just…it just felt right. I thought…I don’t know what I thought.”
“We fall hard and fast. You’re a sweet boy. She’ll see that, your pack knows that. It was an accident. You’ll get through this.”
“What do I do if she wakes up and wants nothing to do with us? Her pack in California wants her back. I’m sure none of them ever hurt her, not like this.”
“I don’t think an Omega would fly across the country and agree to have strangers service her heat if she was leaving a good situation. Just be there for her, be there for your pack. Don’t let this eat you up, Jonah. If you retreat, you’ll never get the chance to see what could happen.”
“Mom, what do I do?” I sigh out rubbing my temples.
“You take care of her, you hold her hand while she’s sedated, you talk to her. You offer to take care of her after her heat. Cover the bill at Heat Haven, her medical costs. But most importantly, give her you. Anyone who gets to know you will love you. Just be the kind, loving man I know you are and everything will work out, I promise.”
“Okay,” I rasp out.
“Call us tomorrow to check in, please. I love you. I know this is what you want, and it’s what you deserve. Go take care of her, honey, and it will all work itself out.”
“I love you too, mom,” I say and hang up.
I place my forehead on my knees and allow myself a moment to completely break down before I go up to the suite and be the Alpha I need to be.
It’s been nearly two days.
Two days of barely sleeping, of holding Shiloh’s hand, nurses coming in and out of the suite, and Cole not talking to me.
Dr. Goss put a cast on Shiloh’s ankle and I’ve barely eaten anything. She should be awake by now. The not knowing how she’s feeling is killing me along with the lingering guilt.
When she coughs and groans, she smacks her lips and makes a noise of discomfort before blinking her eyes open.
She swallows dryly, and Cole quickly hands her a glass of water with a straw.
“Thanks,” she croaks, making another pained noise. “What happened?”
I grab her hand, even though I feel like I have no right to.
“I’m so sorry, Shiloh. We were in the shower and I fell. You broke your ankle during the fall and needed to be sedated. They have a cast on your foot, but you won’t need surgery.”
She scrubs her hand with her face.
“I feel like ass,” she says and I just blink at her. “Fuck. Can I get some pain medicine?”
“I’ll go get the doctor,” Mack says.
“I’m so sorry.”
She groans and squeezes my hand. “It was an accident.” She doesn’t let go and it helps fracture my guilt only slightly. “Am I allowed to walk on it?” she asks.
“Not for a few weeks,” Cole replies, holding the straw to her mouth again.
Shiloh takes a sip before squeezing her eyes shut and a few tears leak out.
“Goddamnit, princess, I’m so sorry.”
She sniffles. “I’m not upset with you. I just…I can’t ask my Gran to live with her and for her to take care of me. She already did that.”
I’m confused by her words, but shake my head.
“Stay with us. Let us take care of you. I can’t let you go home like this, knowing it’s my fault. I want, no, I need to take care of you, Shiloh. Please, I’ll beg,” I say pathetically.
She looks over at me with watery eyes.
“He’s right,” Cole agrees, no longer looking at me like he’s pissed off. “I don’t have a job anymore. Mack’s home all the time. Jonah makes his own hours. We have more than enough room at our home, an elevator, your own bedroom. Let us do this for you.”
“I…I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You aren’t asking. I’m begging. Please, Shiloh. Please come stay with us, let us take care of you at least until you’re back on your feet,” I say, even though I’d like to for longer, but I can’t ask that of her, not like this.
“You don’t even know me,” she says softly, looking at me like she’s completely lost.
“No, but I want to. I want to take care of you. Please let me.”
She takes a deep breath and looks down at her ankle in a cast.
“Okay, only because you need to and I can’t impose on my Gran. It’s not because I blame you for what happened. You guys took care of me during my heat. You didn’t have to do that. I still appreciate what you did for me.”
I kiss the back of her hand and the relief I feel is palpable.
“Thank you,” I tell her.
She looks at me like I’m from another planet for a moment and Mack comes in with the doctor.
Shiloh is given a prescription, and we’re given the clear to take her home. Mack has her in the wheelchair as Cole and I collect our things. He breathes obnoxiously loud and then turns to face me.
“I’m sorry for being a dick. I know it wasn’t your fault,” he says.
“Thank you.”
“Now. Let’s figure out a way to fucking seduce her while she’s bedridden,” he jokes as he punches my arm just a little too hard and we leave Heat Haven.
As fun as it was, I hope I never step foot in these doors again.