17. Shiloh
Chapter 17
Shiloh
I blink at Mack, who I’ve seen the least and heard next to nothing from since we got back from Heat Haven.
“What he means is, well, yeah, we want to court you, but we understand if you’re not ready for that. If you’re not interested, we still want you to stay here and take care of you till you get better, no strings attached” Cole says.
“Or if you just need time, we’re willing to wait however long it takes,” Jonah says.
I smile, slightly loving the way they are all stumbling over themselves. It’s quite precious watching these three Alphas navigate this conversation. It’s clear they’ve never courted an Omega before which brings me more joy than it should.
“What exactly does courting mean to all of you?” I ask.
I’m not fucking around this time.
I don’t have time to waste. I’m not living with another pack, putting my all to a relationship for them to have no intention of ever actually bonding with me. While they’ve already proven that they are better Alphas than my last pack, I need to be a better communicator. Keeping everything bottled up back in LA was slowly killing me. It took a sudden heat, a broken ankle, and a nosy Alpha to make me realize it.
But Gran was right, I do deserve better.
These Alphas could be it, but I don’t want to rush in with my stupid Omega heart only to have it broken again.
“None of us take that term lightly. We’ve never courted an Omega before, because to me it means that my intention is to work towards bonding. That this is a step in becoming a fully bonded pack,” Jonah says honestly.
“Mack and I didn’t grow up in a pack. I wasn’t even sure we’d ever have an Omega, but then you all but landed in my lap. I’m not saying I’m going to get everything right, but it’s important that I do right by you. This all goes at a speed you’re comfortable with,” Cole says.
“What does it mean to you, Mack?” I ask, worried that he doesn’t feel the same way. He’s the wildcard in this situation and even though he was the one to break the ice, he probably worries me the most about his intentions.
“That you’d be our girl, that we’d be yours. I don’t know how to be someone’s Alpha, let alone boyfriend, but I’m willing to figure it out if you let us.”
I clear my throat and nudge the soft cashmere blanket to my chin. It’s everything I’ve wanted to hear and I’m scared, but hopeful.
“My last pack…I was with them for two years and we never bonded. They got me through my heats, they provided for me financially, they never hit me,” I say, as Jonah realizes the grip he has on my one foot as I speak. He gives my foot an apologetic rub as I continue. “But it wasn’t fulfilling. I gave everything I had to make sure their pheromones weren’t out of control, that they weren’t out of control. I thought since they never raised a hand and provided me with an extravagant lifestyle, that I shouldn’t complain. There are plenty of Omegas who are in far worse circumstances than I was.”
I look down at the blanket, not daring to look at any of their faces. “The three of you have been beyond generous to me and I’m grateful, but you need to know that if you’re really interested in courting me, I don’t plan on doing this ever again. I want a pack, I want to be bonded. It feels like the more time that passes without a bond, the more painful my heats are and I just can’t do this again. I can’t give a pack my heart when they aren’t willing to give me theirs in return. So you need to be sure you know what you’re saying, that I’m truly the Omega you want. I don’t think my heart would survive if you changed your minds.”
I glance up at Cole, who nods seriously. “Then we’ll prove ourselves. But it’s official, Shiloh Hansen. You are being courted by the S?rensen pack,” Cole says.
My brows furrow as I look at Jonah.
“Why does your last name sound so familiar?” I ask him.
“Probably from my parents’ company, S?rensen Enterprises,” he says easily, and I stare at him for a minute.
The name isn’t coming to me, but now that I know his last name, I can see some Scandinavian likeness in his face, though his skin tone seems more sun kissed than it should be in a Philadelphia winter.
“So, what do we do next?” I ask, feeling like I’ve spilled my guts far too much. What exactly is the protocol after someone declares they’re courting you?
“We could watch a movie?” Mack suggests, and I give him a wide smile.
He leaves to make popcorn, as Cole adjusts me so that he’s at my back and my legs are still on top of Jonah’s lap.
They let me pick the movie, and don’t complain, neither does Mack as he takes a seat at the end of the couch.
Maybe it could really be this easy.
The devil invented crutches in the attempt to ruin the armpit of anyone who unfortunately needs the torture devices. I’ve been bitching about them non stop as me and my poor aching pits make our way to the kitchen.
I sit at the dining room table because it’s too hard for me to reach the stools right now. I have another doctor’s appointment in a week and I’m really hoping he lets me switch to a boot. As much as I love the guys taking care of me hand and foot, I would like to leave the house at some point.
Particularly to go to the craft store. I need something to keep me busy and I feel a few craft projects might do the trick.
None of the guys are in the kitchen, so I scroll through my phone. I haven’t posted on socials since coming and living in Philadelphia, but my inbox is filled to the brim with bullshit.
People are messaging me asking what happened between me and Smash Knot. Others message to tell me it’s about time, and they have no idea how I was their companion at all. I feel like a masochist as I read through them and even click over to my requests folder.
It’s a faceless profile with a username full of random numbers. My stupid self clicks it.
Please come back home. I promise, I’ll take pack lead from Nick. I miss you, please Shiloh. I never wanted it to be like this -Danny.
I keep it in requests and close out the app and take a deep breath. If I’m being honest, Danny is probably why I stayed for so long. Danny always stayed for my whole heat. He tried to make sure I was okay on tour. But the moment Nick would bark an order, he would immediately shrink away and put the pack Alpha’s needs over my own.
“Special delivery,” Jonah’s booming voice says from down the hallway as he comes scooting along into the dining room.
My cheeks hurt from smiling as I look at the device. “And what’s that?”
“It’s called a KneeRover, no more crutches.”
He noticed me.
He saw that I was hurting and did something about it.
It’s so fucking small, so stupid, but I can’t help it as a rogue tear falls down my heated cheeks.
“Hey, hey. What’s this about?” Jonah asks, getting down on his knees, his large palms on my thighs.
“They’re good tears, I think,” I say with a self deprecated laugh.
“Why don’t we take this puppy for a spin, anywhere you want to go.”
“Anywhere?”
“Wherever your Omega heart desires.”
“Can we go to the craft store?”
“Let me look up the best one in the area,” he says, kissing me on the side of my head and leaving me with my pink scooter.
It takes less than eight minutes to get to the store, it honestly takes us longer to find parking. In the grand scheme of things, we probably would have gotten here faster if we walked, but Jonah refused, saying that it was too cold and not when I’m learning to use my little scooter.
Maybe I swooned over his protectiveness. But I’m just an Omega after all. Once we park, Jonah sets up my scooter and we’re inside Blick Art Materials.
This place is my dream, and I didn’t even know it was here.
“Do you think the cart on the front of your scooter will be enough?” he asks as I lean my weight and push with the other.
“Oh, I’m sure it will be,” I lie, considering the amount of yarn I know I’ll need for my intended projects.
“I’ll grab another basket just in case.”
I will not perfume in the craft store. I will not…My body betrays me like the chaotic bitch always does.
I expect irritation from Jonah, but he just pets down my hair, not even mentioning it.
“So, where do we start?”
“Yarn. Lots of it.”
Jonah has a hand on me or my scooter as we navigate the aisles until we’re finally at the yarn.
“What are you making?” he asks.
“That would surely ruin the surprise,” I say, grabbing dark green, silver, and white. “Oh, grab that crochet hook that has a light on it,” I say, pointing to a shelf.
Jonah reaches up, grabbing the pink one. His shirt sliding up with the movement, showing a sliver of his abdomen.
Everything has been totally respectful since my heat. A few kisses here, touches here. Especially from Jonah and Cole, Mack seems to stick to himself pretty often, but I’ll work on cracking his shell.
I’m not sure if I’m ready for more, especially with this godforsaken cast on. But that little glimpse of innocent skin and his thoughtfulness have me ready for all the dirty pack sex I can imagine.
It’s what I’m owed after all the shit I’ve been through.
On top of my mounds of yarn, I grab some diamond art kits, and a kit to make my own stamps. I don’t know what I would need to make stamps for, but Jonah encouraged me to put it in my cart.
“Do you need anything else?”
Need. No, I didn’t need a single thing from this place. I’m more than used to being spoiled with gifts, but Jonah doesn’t make it seem like a transaction. No, he’s happy to spend money on me, and in fact, I think it gives him a certain amount of joy.
I’m scooting around the corner, just glancing at the jewelry making bundles that I absolutely do not need.
“Jonah, is that you?” a melodic voice asks and I swallow thickly.
His big hand is on my shoulder as he looks up and clears his throat.
“Abby, good to see you. This is my Omega, Shiloh,” he says without even fucking hesitating.
It’s obvious the pretty blonde is an Omega herself and he just staked his claim, boldly and without being told. Not a mention of Omega companion or the fact that we aren’t bonded. I’m his.
He stamped his motherfucking claim and I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on in my whole life.
“Oh. You’re no longer in a pack with Cole and Mack?” she asks, looking confused.
I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this smug in my whole life. It’s not that I have ill will against this other Omega. I don’t think badly of her. But also…I needed a win and I’m taking it. I’m finally the Omega on top, and the power is rushing to my oversized head.
“No, still in a pack with Cole and Mack,” Jonah says easily. “I hope you’re doing well.”
“Yes, of course. I’m being courted by the Abington pack.”
“And where are they?” Jonah asks.
“I’m just grabbing some things and heading back to their pack house,” she says, looking at the floor.
My smugness turns into sympathy for the Omega standing before me. I scoot pathetically toward her, and Jonah follows.
“Can we have a second?” I ask Jonah, who looks relatively unhappy about that idea.
“I’ll go check out,” he says, grabbing all the shit out of my scooter’s basket and leaving me to speak with Abby.
“I know you don’t know me and this is kind of awkward and my advice is completely unsolicited. But don’t settle for less than you deserve.”
Her big blue eyes water, and she wraps her arms around herself.
“Says the Omega who landed every girl’s dream pack. Sorry, I know that came across bitchy,” she says with a watery smile.
“Would you believe me if I told you I spent two years with a pack who never saw me and I’m only now realizing it? Don’t get me wrong, you’re right, the S?rensen pack is spoken for, but there are good packs out there. Ones who care about you being in the city alone, ones that won’t make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells in your shared home. Just…know your worth.”
“What if I don’t know my worth?” she whispers.
“Then find it,” I reply softly as she wipes her tears and I cruise my way over to the checkout counter.