Chapter 7
JESS
I show up at kindergarten bright and early the next day with my kids, kissing them goodbye.
Iris isn’t so quick to run off and start playing with the others.
“Is something bothering you, baby?” I squat down, capturing her chin. “Mrs. Fawn said you were being quieter than usual yesterday.”
“I just like to play with my dolls alone.” Iris turns up her lip and gives me wide eyes, like she wants to go home. “Why do I need to be here?”
“Mommy has to work, darling, and you need to make some friends who aren’t Rosie and your siblings.”
“I wish Rosie was in the same class.”
“Life doesn’t always give us what we want.”
Mrs. Fawn takes Iris off my hands and whispers something in her ear that perks her up a little.
“I’ll see you munchkins later,” I call, waving goodbye to all three of them. My heart explodes with tenderness, the same way it always does after morning drop-off. Those kids mean everything to me.
Which means this job at Sterling Row Partners does too. Even though I’m pretty damn sure laws are being broken right now as I catch the subway to the scene of the crime.
The train spits me out at the financial district. I walk over to the building in my Louboutins, now slowly getting the hang of it. I’m talking about the walk, not the job.
Hopefully, I’m wrong about Nadir being a crime boss in disguise. That will alleviate some of my anxiety.
Not all of it, of course. He’s still my baby daddy. No matter how much time has passed, he still took my virginity at thirty thousand feet in the air, and we never spoke again.
My heels clack on the marble floor as I step in through the lobby. It smells of sap and aftershave, one much stronger than the other.
“Good morning, Jess.”
I whip around and find Nadir Medvedev himself staring down at me.
His crystal blue eyes peel back a layer of my soul.
Gravity pulls my jaw to the floor—a typical response when it comes to this man.
I’m still not over the initial shock of him being my boss, but whatever.
I’ll never be able to pick my jaw off the floor, even when I have finally come to terms with this situation.
He’s drop-dead gorgeous in every sense of the world and I’ll never be able to get over it.
I scan his face, my jaw now going through the ground as I analyze all the fine lines in his face, each one making him look more beautiful and sculpted. I fear these feelings of infatuation and complete awe will never go away, no matter how long I work here.
Which, let’s face it, will be a while. My kids come first. I need every last cent Nadir throws at me.
“Miss Rawcliffe? Are you okay?”
Aside from the neck ache that comes with having my head tilted ninety degrees, because he’s that tall?
“Yes. I’m fine.”
“Good to hear.”
Where’s he going with this?
I narrow my eyes and wait for him to initiate something. But I think this man takes pleasure in making others uncomfortable.
Another sign that he could be a criminal in disguise.
Jeez, relax.
“Let me walk you to your office this morning, Miss Rawcliffe.”
Walking in heels suddenly feels like a challenge again. I don’t think I can if I’m walking alongside Nadir.
“No, that’s okay. I’ll find my own way, thank you.” I match his cordial tone and take a step forward.
“You’re new here. I insist.”
“Sure,” I squeak, letting him lead the way.
Weird. Why is he walking me to my office all of a sudden? It’s certainly not out of the kindness of his heart. Billionaires don’t have one of those—just a hole where it used to be.
I narrow my eyes as he leads us to the elevator. Does this have anything to do with me reporting suspicious behavior yesterday? Maybe he doesn’t want me back on the third floor again.
All questions go out the window, along with my mind, as I step into the elevator. Confined space. Extremely confined space. It’s even tighter in here than it was in the—
“Is something troubling you, Miss Rawcliffe?”
“I’m just wondering about my restricted access to your top clientele.”
Not the best thing to say when you’re alone in an elevator with your boss and a possible psycho, but I have to say something. And I wasn’t about to out myself and let him know I was thinking about the plane.
“As I said yesterday, those files are none of your concern and you don’t need to worry. I have everything taken care of.”
I scan my eyes up his body, noting all of his muscles. I don’t doubt his ability to take care of things. He could punch someone with his bare fist and end their life. It would be no skin off his back.
Ding!
I rush out of the elevator when we arrive. Nadir leads the way again. It’s almost as if he’s hoping I don’t run into another concealed item exchange on the third floor.
My stomach pulls.
“I’m going to ask you this question again,” I say. “Are you hiding something?”
Nadir peers over his shoulder at his own leisure. “Yes.”
Fuck.
I practice a simple meditation technique I learned a while back, and find my center. Nadir can’t know I’m nervous.
I’m surrounded by sharks in this establishment, and right now I feel like the fish who’s being kept out of the loop.
“What is it you’re hiding? You should be able to tell me. I signed the NDA, remember?”
“Every business keeps things from their employees,” Nadir states, still walking ahead.
“It’s nothing personal. Employees don’t need to know every last detail about the business.
It would disrupt their brain, which would hinder their approach to work.
I give my employees the information they need to do the job I hired them for.
” He comes to a halt and glances over his shoulders, eyes staring straight at me, his expression hard.
“Where did you work before this? Your resume only shows the six-week course you passed with flying colors.”
I’m hesitant to tell Nadir I used to work in childcare. Business moguls like him definitely turn their nose up at those of us who work with kids. I’ve heard it all before. “When you work with kids, you become dumb like one again.”
But Nadir just said I passed with “flying colors.” He should know that I excel in all areas of life. “I was a nanny. I wanted a career change.”
Nadir lifts an eyebrow at this and keeps walking.
He opens his office door for me, watching as I step in. My heart’s in my throat, and I feel a rash break out all over my skin as his eyes trail down my body. I’m wearing a pencil skirt and black T-shirt, nothing scandalous. But Nadir is making me feel like I’m wearing nothing with that gaze.
I make it to my desk in one piece and without falling, even though my knees buckle several times on the walk over.
“You switched from nannying to private equity? That’s a big change,” he observes.
“Yeah. I like change.” I drop my bag, maintaining good posture as I sit at my desk.
“You wouldn’t know the first thing about business.”
“I’m a curious person.” I narrow my eyes. He’s still hiding something. I know it.
“We’re the same that way.” Nadir pins me with one more glare. “Being curious about the world is a very good trait to have. But it’s important to note that being too curious can be dangerous and lead us to our own demise.”
Oh?
“You will fit in well here, and I look forward to reading through your KPIs at the end of the month.” His eyes turn arctic. “But, Miss Rawcliffe, be careful not to fly too close to the sun. I would hate for a bright young woman like you to end up burned.”
I walk back into the building after enjoying my lunch break outside. I smell sap and nothing else, and feel relieved about that.
Nadir is probably busy scolding somebody else, or handling top clients he won’t let me deal with. Or killing someone. Who the fuck knows with that man.
I call for an elevator and ride it up to a different floor to grab some paperwork before heading into my office, as per my line manager’s request.
My heels clack on the floor as I strut down the empty corridor, locating the right room. I’m good with numbers, but not when it comes to simple math.
I eventually find where I need to be and select the key on my lanyard, unlocking the room. That’s when I notice the conference room next door. It’s a full room, every seat taken.
I’m about to look away when I see Nadir in the corner of my eye.
He’s sitting at the head of the table—I see him in my peripheral vision through the glass.
I turn my head, note the steepled hands and the hard jaw, and forget why I came here.
Oh God, that face with that body. Even his fingers have poise.
He taps one in thought before opening his mouth to express his opinion.
No—not opinion. Fact. He opens his mouth to breathe and half of the people nod in unison.
Why only half? Surely it should be the entire room.
I step closer, positioning myself behind the half-open blinds to stay hidden. The meeting is in full swing, but I can’t help but feel as though something’s off.
There’s a divide on the table. It’s subtle because all of the men are wearing the same thing—dress shirt, pants, suit and tie. But it’s there. Something flickers as Nadir delivers his next line, and it doesn’t land well with the man sitting on the other end of the table by the looks of it.
Turns out there are two heads to this meeting.
And they appear to be clashing.
They’re conflicting, but they keep it corporate.
I sense the tension from the window. Nadir and the other man look like they want to tear out each other’s throats.
They won’t actually go there. They think too highly of themselves to go in for a cheap sucker punch, especially while wearing their best suits.
God, to be a fly on the wall. If only I could hear what they’re talking about. The walls are soundproof, so it has to be something private. Perhaps these are the top clients Nadir was referring to.
I look down, and that’s when my eyes pop out of their sockets.
One of the men is holding a knife.
What. The. Fuck?
My stomach lurches as I stare at the weapon in his hand. He keeps it concealed around the back of the chair, hand clamped firmly around the handle as the tense meeting continues. The cuff links on his sleeves shine almost as brightly as the blade itself.
My breath disappears. I have to say something. A person could die today, and I’d be partly to blame for seeing the weapon and doing nothing about it.
I step back before I gasp any louder and announce to the entire conference that I’ve been snooping.
I unlock the next room and softly close the door behind me, locating the documents I’m supposed to be looking through.
Maybe I’ll wait for the meeting next door to be adjourned before stepping back out.
I could only see the back of the man’s head, but I saw enough.
I attempt to find my center, but now I’m freaking out even more. Nadir is in that conference room, my boss and baby daddy. He’s a goddamn piece of work, but do I want him dead?
I take a seat and give my legs a rest. I should go in there and warn the others, but the man holding the weapon could quite easily retaliate and kill me.
And I need to be there for my kiddos. I will not let history repeat itself.
They will not grow up as orphans because their mom was too rash and didn’t think about consequences.
That’s even worse than not being wanted by your own parents.
I leave and lock up the room in a shaking mess, and head back to the elevator.
How many people here are carrying knives? Is it an essential piece of work equipment, handed over with the laptop and company pen?
I shouldn’t have signed that damned NDA. I need money to give my kids the life they deserve. But soon they might not even have a life.
I enter my office and lock the door immediately. First, Nadir warns me to not fly too close to the sun when I enquire about restricted files. Now this?
Have I just signed my life away in blood to organized crime?