Chapter 11 Jess
JESS
“If this is your idea of a joke, it’s not funny.”
“No, Savvy, I’m being dead serious. And I really wish I wasn’t.” I wince into my phone. “Please promise me you won’t tell anyone? I signed an NDA and—”
“You know you have my word,” Savannah says down the receiving end of the phone. “But I’m surprised.”
“You know what he said to me on the plane six years ago when I asked what he did for work? Finance. He said he’d spare me the boring details, Savannah. Boring. Like him scamming the government and murdering people is no big deal.”
“How do we know he’s killing people?”
“Oh”—I jab my fork into my pasta salad and take a bite—“we know. He said there’s no need to worry, but that’s all I’ve been doing. This has a huge effect on, not just me, but everyone I know.”
“I know,” Savannah says. “But he must know what he’s doing.”
“Which is even more fucking terrifying.” I fork more pasta into my mouth. “My baby daddy is a criminal mastermind.”
“There’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear come out of someone’s mouth.”
I have to laugh, otherwise I’ll cry. I’ll do that later when my makeup doesn’t need to look good anymore. To get through this day and all the ones that come after it, I need to be composed.
I could leave, but I’m locked in with the NDA for life. Employed or unemployed, I’ll still have this information on my guilty conscience.
Guilt cuts through me, spoiling my appetite. I feel it more than yesterday when I saw the knife and did nothing about it.
From what I gather, nobody was injured at that meeting. But an entire group of people could be in danger because of all the illegal activity going on inside these walls. People are at serious risk if I don’t say anything.
But on the flip side, if I say anything, I could lose everything. Nadir would make sure of it. A man as powerful as him would find a way to pin the blame on me. I could be locked behind bars for the rest of my life, and my children would have to be taken in by authorities.
To stop the past from repeating, I have to keep working here and keep my mouth shut.
Nadir has a point. People who play by the rules never win. I can’t afford to get any more behind in life than I already am.
I hear the sound of snapping cameras down the receiving end of the phone, and Savannah giving orders to someone. “I gotta go,” she says. “Nobody knows how to style these models except me, apparently. Good luck with today, and don’t freak out too much, yeah?”
“I’ll try. Love you lots.”
I end the call and remain seated on the bench, nervously looking over my shoulder.
I think about Taro every day. The only time I’m not thinking about my crazy ex-boyfriend is when I’m working at Sterling Row Partners.
He wouldn’t be able to get in. Reception has to check you in.
If you’re not wearing a lanyard, you have security to answer to.
And those guys are almost as macho as the guy who runs this place.
In that way, working here isn’t so bad. I was terrified of seeing Taro back when I was a nanny.
My job involved taking the kids places. I liked to stay at home with the kids as much as possible where I knew it was safe, but the parents were always asking me to collect their kids from school, and to take them places, the park especially.
I only went to the park when it was absolutely necessary, and made sure to keep both eyes on the kids at all times.
You’ll never see me step into a wooded area voluntarily.
I’m walking through Boston Common, close to reaching my step goal for the day, when a man spawns out of nowhere and crashes into me.
Coffee goes flying.
Savannah’s new activewear set is officially ruined.
“Just when I thought I couldn’t be a bigger pain in someone’s ass…” says the man.
“What? Don’t be silly, you’re not a—”
“I’m so sorry. I really need to watch where I’m going.”
“It’s an innocent mistake to make.”
“No,” the man says sternly.
I look up, surprised by how handsome this guy is.
Hot damn.
His white teeth are more blinding than the sun, and his hair is perfect. It blows in the wind, shaping his face, which is just as perfect as the hair.
I wasn’t expecting to run into a model today.
“Let me buy you another.”
My immediate response is no, but I’m not done looking at this guy’s face yet.
The guy takes a hesitant step in. “This may sound a little forward, but you have got to be the most beautiful girl I have ever come across.”
I’m too stunned to speak.
I get attention here and there, but it’s always from the wrong guys. Men who make advances toward me are old and miserable, and look at me like I’m steak.
This guy is looking at me exactly how I’ve always yearned for someone to look at me—like I’m the center of the universe.
“That’s…very kind of you to say.” A smile crawls onto my face. “Thank you.”
“I come here most days,” he says. “I love to be around the trees.”
“Me too.”
“Really?” The man frowns. Even his eyebrows are perfect. “I’m surprised we haven’t seen each other before. I would never miss a face like yours.”
I scoff, feeling my cheeks heat red.
“I’m Taro.”
“Jess,” I return, holding up my empty cup. “And I’d love another coffee.”
I check my watch and realize I’m two minutes over the allowed thirty minutes for lunchtime.
“Shit.”
I pick myself off the bench and head back inside, immediately hit by a gust of cold air-conditioning.
“You never went into detail about what it is you have to lose,” Nadir says as the elevator doors open.
My pulse stutters the same way it always does when I see Nadir, even if I’m expecting to see him.
I open and close my mouth like a fish, trying to find the right words.
Composure, Jessy.
“It’s personal.”
“I understand,” he says. “But sometimes I can help.”
“Help how?” I walk into the elevator and wait for him to exit, but he keeps staring. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Mr. Medvedev, but my personal life is not your business.”
“Isn’t it?” His eyes turn black, shadows playing on his face as we ascend floors together.
Why do I always find myself in the elevator with this man?
My stomach drops for two reasons: the change in air pressure as we soar to the top of the building—and the look he’s giving me. It’s the look from six years ago that almost made me trip. He’s thinking bad thoughts. Very bad thoughts that could get me in even more trouble.
“If you’re willing to invite me into your body, Jessy, I’m sure you’d have no problem telling me about your personal issues.”
He did not just say that.
Fuck.
I need to get the hell out of this elevator before I lose myself completely in his gaze.
His eyes are still the most piercing shade of blue I’ve ever seen in my life, and they’re still on a mission to infiltrate my soul, even six years later.
I’m tempted to give him my soul just for another taste.
It feels wrong to stop here and keep our distance when we both know how good it felt before.
That’s what his eyes are telling me.
Take another bite of the fruit, Jessy.
But beware—this time around, the fruit is forbidden.
God, I hate how wet that gets me. I hate this feeling more than I hate working for a crime boss.
“Jessy.”
“Please,” I stutter. “You have to stop calling me that.”
My pussy is sopping wet, all from a gaze. Nothing has changed there.
Consciousness ebbs and flows like a tide, here one second, gone the next. I press my back into the glass wall and make the mistake of looking down. Damn, we’re high up.
Nadir is watching me from the other glass wall. His hand slides over to the buttons, pressing one.
Ding.
I narrow my eyes. “Don’t tell me you’ve just paused the elevator?”
Nadir keeps staring.
“You shouldn’t be able to pause an elevator,” I continue. I’m talking out of my ass because I need to keep talking. The moment I stop, my lips are on his. “That shouldn’t be a feature.”
“I own every square meter of this building, Miss Rawcliffe. That includes every desk, every pane of glass”—he slides his hand over one—“all the plants, every leaf and branch.”
I peer out into the atrium, analyzing the tree that soars high into the air. My breath catches as I look closely at each extending branch and all of the leaves.
“I own every piece of technology and every sheet of paper. Every employee.”
Saving the best for last, of course.
“You especially.” His face darkens, and I lose my hold on reality. “In here, I own every single part of you, down to the clothes you’re wearing.”
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Not even Jesus could save me from this man.
And right now, I don’t want to be saved. The only man capable of saving me is the one I’m sharing this elevator with.
Criminal mastermind, Jessy.
I practice that meditation technique again, desperate to find my center, but it’s hard to do that when your feet aren’t even on solid ground.
I bite my lip and remember why I chose to lose my virginity to Nadir in the first place. He was all-powerful and I needed to borrow some of his strength.
In retrospect, I had no idea I was being fucked by a Russian mafia leader. If I knew that back then, would I have still followed him into the lavatory? Probably.
Nadir has a certain je ne sais quoi—something Taro didn’t quite possess. My ex was stereotypically attractive and his face was worth a double take, but he never made me wet.
My feelings for Nadir are totally different, and I’m burning alive now in this elevator. Something dark and feral awakens low in my belly as I stare up at him. My boss. My baby daddy. God, there are so many titles. He won’t have that many for me.
I still see Nadir the same way as before. The mafia thing doesn’t change that. If anything, it makes the guy even more of a fucking powerhouse. His good looks and charisma are probably how he gets away with everything, including murder.