Chapter 14 Jess
JESS
The days are passing fast, all things considered.
Nadir is still dealing with Taro and his Bratva, but I don’t mind that. Nadir’s penthouse is big enough for the both of us to avoid each other.
I haven’t spoken to him properly since the private cab incident three days ago. How dare he bring me right to the edge, torture me and think he has the upper hand in all of this? Congratulations, you own a business and all of the people working for you. Please. That line is getting boring.
He wants me to beg. So now, naturally, I’m giving him the silent treatment.
I want to ignore him and I’ve done a pretty good job of that over the last few days. But last night, the devil called my name and told me to “accidently” walk past Nadir wearing a red bodice and panty set.
It was a hit. He flashed me a glare that fell somewhere between be careful and I want you naked in my bed.
So today, I’m playing the game again—wearing a matching red pantsuit at work.
After discovering Nadir likes red on me, I’ve been incorporating the color into my outfits.
Today I’m going full-blown.
“What do you think?” I hold my phone up for Savannah as we video call. “Too much?”
“For Nadir, it might be.”
“Good. That’s what I’m going for.”
“God,” she says. “I still can’t believe Nadir knows Taro.”
“I know, it’s a small world.”
“How are the kids holding up?”
“The kids are…surprisingly okay. Willow and Charlie are fascinated with Nadir. Iris is still a little nervous around him, but she’s nowhere near as bad as she was.”
“And has he figured out that they’re his yet?”
I stall in the mirror. “What? No! Why would he—?”
“Come on. You always tell me how much Charlie looks like his father. Surely Nadir has picked up on how similar they look.”
“This is Nadir we’re talking about,” I remind Savannah. “That man is too self-absorbed to even consider the possibility. If he’s not talking about money or how he can win over his enemies, he doesn’t care.”
“That can’t be true.” Savannah pouts her lip. “He told you and the kids to move in with him.”
“He’s not doing that out of the kindness of his heart. He doesn’t have a choice.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Think about it.” I crash on the bed holding my phone. “I’m an employee, which makes me part of the business he wants to protect.”
“Which means you belong to him.”
God, not this again.
Honestly, if Nadir was less of an ass, I’d be agreeing with Savannah. I’d let him own me in the bedroom if he promises to take things all the way. But every encounter we’ve had since reuniting has been left unfinished.
“Nadir does not own me,” I drawl.
“Sounds like it.”
“He thinks he does.” I sigh, throwing my head back into the pillow.
“Hey! What are you doing? You didn’t sleep with heatless curlers in your hair last night just to roll around in bed the following morning messing them up. Get yourself together, Jessy.”
I tear myself off the mattress and head over to the free-standing mirror to assess my appearance.
“What is it you’re trying to achieve here?” Savannah asks.
“Great question.” I twirl in the mirror, making sure my ass is sitting how I want it to in these pants. “I was choosing to avoid him, but there’s only so much of that you can do before it gets boring.”
“He knows you’ll come back around.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he comes back to me. He was thinking about it last night. The bodice was a hit.”
“Why can’t the pair of you get over yourselves and do it already?”
“It’s complicated,” I say, straightening out my pants. “Why should I give Nadir what he wants when he’s not giving me what I want?”
“Bitterness doesn’t get you far in the world,” Savannah says. “What if there are other reasons you haven’t had sex with him yet?”
“Like?”
“You’re scared.”
“Pfft,” I spit. “I’m not scared of Nadir. But he wishes.”
“I’m not talking about Nadir,” Savannah says. “Maybe you’re afraid to get involved with another person again.”
“Afraid?” I frown in the mirror. “I’m not afraid to sleep with Nadir.”
“I’m just saying,” she says, “you’re well within your right for wanting to distance yourself after what happened with Taro.”
“I know.” I grimace. “That could be part of it. They’re very similar. Why am I always attracted to the bad guys?”
“How do we know Nadir is bad?”
“Because he’s lying to the government and committing crimes right under their noses. That’s bad with a capital B.”
“I was more talking about Nadir as a person, not how many crimes he’s committed.”
“It’s the same thing.”
“Not always. Sometimes people can break the law and still have kind hearts,” she says. “Taro definitely took it a step too far with the stalking. The red flags were there from the beginning, not like you would’ve known to see them. He was way too forward. But Nadir doesn’t seem that way.”
“He’s not forward, no.”
“Him and Taro are enemies, right? Doesn’t that tell you something?”
I stare out the window, clutching my phone. Daylight spills over the city. It’s beautiful and peaceful, and with Maureen here for childcare, I finally feel like I’m catching my much-needed break.
As much as I love the kids piling on top of me every morning and showering me with kisses, I need my own space, which Nadir has given me. For that, I shouldn’t be so hateful toward him.
But that doesn’t suddenly change my opinion on billionaires.
“It tells me they’re both as bad as each other.”
Savannah stays quiet on the receiving end of the phone for a beat. “The pantsuit looks good on you. Nadir won’t be able to look away. Go get him, soldier. I have to get back to designing my new range.”
“Please tell me you’re making more shorts with the booty separator?”
“Always.”
“Love you.” I blow her a kiss, and end the call with a pit in my stomach.
After being let down repeatedly, I stopped having high hopes for people, and learned to live life without expecting things. But as I twirl in the mirror, analyzing the pantsuit, I realize I’m expecting things again.
And my expectations are much higher than before.
I eat dinner in silence as my foster parents and their biological child talk about high school grades.
“Ugh. Sometimes I wish you were more relaxed with me like you are with Jess.”
“Jess is different, honey,” her father says.
“Why?”
“You’re our daughter and Jess is…” Her mother comes to a halt. “She has other parents, that’s all.”
“No she doesn’t, otherwise she’d be with them.”
My foster parents share a look.
I shoot Holly a glare across the table. That comment was straight-up rude.
“Whatcha looking at?” she asks.
Oh, dear Holly.
That girl can do no wrong.
She scoffs when I say nothing. “Jesus Christ. Send her back to where she came from. She’s such a freak. I can’t stand her.”
“Holly,” her mother scolds. “Don’t be so unkind.”
“Unkind? It’s better than pretending to be kind.”
Her parents exchange a confused glance.
“Come off it.” Holly yawns. “We all know you adopted Jess because of the tax benefits.”
She disappears in a sulk.
Which leaves me in an even more awkward position than before, as I look between my foster parents, wondering if those smiles are real.
The subway doors fly open, and I walk into the train, my heels clacking on the platform. This is the third morning Nadir’s offered to call a cab for me, and the third time I’ve refused.
I make it to work and file myself away in my office with a coffee that I quickly down. The pit in my stomach is worse than it was before, but I forget all about it when I catch Nadir in the canteen during lunch.
We do our usual—stare and don’t make a scene. I make sure I’m the first to look away. He tormented me, and for that, I can’t look too long.
My appetite is small, but not gone completely, so I get in line for something to eat, and slide my tray closer to the food every time the line bumps up.
“What will it be today?” Nadir purrs in my ear. “I hear the sausage is delicious.”
I snap around and try to keep my cool. “Not here,” I grit out.
He drags his eyes down my body, registering the red outfit. “You wanted my attention. Now you have it.”
“I’m about to eat.”
“You only have a thirty-minute break. Would you rather eat, or be alone with me in my office?”
I tip my chin and turn away. “I’d rather eat, thank you.”
The line bumps up again, and I move away from Nadir, looking over the food options. No kidding, there really is sausage.
I clench my jaw and chance a look over my shoulder. Nadir is walking away, and his ass is looking incredible in those black pants. When did they get so tight around his butt?
I grab the sausage to humor myself—and Nadir if he’s still kicking around, and find a seat.
I still sit alone every lunch. People here don’t really do friends.
The employees that do sit together probably know one another from the Bratva.
The gal I complimented on my first day, the one who totally blew me off, seems to be having a good chin wag with some Russian men a few tables down.
She must be an assassin. She has the looks of one.
I’m cutting my German sausage into segments when I see Nadir across the canteen, facing out, keeping an eye on everything. He nods to Leon, half in and out of conversation with him. He spots me across the room, and I smirk before inserting the full sausage into my mouth, flashing him a wink.
His expression changes.
And then he’s cutting through the canteen and ordering through his teeth for me to get up.
“Why? I’m eating.”
“Get up.”
I glance down and know why.
God.
I drag my eyes up to his face, smirking. Looks like I won.
I stand up, my chair scraping against the floor. Nadir flicks his head in the direction of the elevators, and then we’re walking away in silence, calling for an elevator.
“What about my sausage?” I pout.
“You didn’t want that sausage.” His eyes laser into mine, cutting all the way into my soul.
I shuffle into the elevator just in time, grabbing one of the glass walls for support as we climb floors.