Chapter 24 Nadir #3
“I don’t need your help.” I shove past him, about to cross the street, but he tugs me back, throwing me into the post of a pedestrian crossing light.
“Son of a—”
“Save the anger for Taro. And stop walking around in fucking circles. You’re only making yourself dizzy. You don’t even know where they’re keeping Jess.” Leon’s eyes shine in the streetlight, like he knows something I don’t.
He can wipe that grin right off his face.
“I’m working on it,” I grumble, turning away from him again.
“You don’t need to. I’ve already worked on it myself.”
I spin around to face him on the sidewalk, car headlights lighting up his face as they drive past.
Strangely, he doesn’t look disappointed. He just looks ready for a bloodbath.
“I currently have one of the Kozhikov assassins restrained on the fifteenth floor in the Sterling building. Nasty piece of work. Calls himself a Kozhikov but doesn’t know a single word of Russian. They’re keeping Jess held hostage about an hour away from here. Taro’s with her.”
Panic strikes through my chest. “You have directions?”
Leon nods. “Admit your feelings for Jess, and we ride straight out into the country.”
He’s keeping her out in the countryside? Blyat. Nobody would be able to hear her scream.
I take a step back on the sidewalk, raking my hair in an effort to contain my frustration. Rivals aren’t always the ones you need to keep a close eye on. It’s those closest to you. Like Leon.
We have the same belief systems when it comes to business. Cruelty is the only way you can be successful. And I’m acting the opposite of cruel as I plan to rescue Jess—an innocent who I really shouldn’t be this emotionally invested in.
But I ache in places that haven’t ached since Anastasia.
I can’t let Jess die. It might preempt my own death if I have to watch another woman I have feelings for die.
And the children deserve their mother. Jess has done nothing but protect them. She’s not their only parent anymore, but I see the way they look at her—like their entire life depends on her.
I never got to meet my own mother. I never got closure—if she left, if she was killed. But that doesn’t matter. I know what it’s like to live in a motherless family, all boys. Maybe a female might have mellowed my family out. Maybe things would have been different.
I clench my jaw, hit with another thought. These kids need their mother more than I realize. I don’t trust myself to raise them alone. I have the same genetics as my father.
Sure, I live in a different country, own a different business, but none of those things change who I really am at my core. I chase power the same way my father did, and now I’ve reached a crossroads.
How far am I willing to go to keep that power?
How much am I willing to risk?
Because my father was willing to sacrifice his own children to keep his business alive. He said it was a gift. Our life was already set up. All we had to do was kill on command, follow instructions, and remain emotionally detached from life.
No part of that felt like a gift. I made my own fortunes, and it still doesn’t feel like a gift. Running a Bratva is hard. People get hurt. And I draw the line when it comes to my own children.
I know how it feels to have a gun forced into your hand. To kill an innocent. I was afraid of my own father.
And I don’t want that for my own kids.
I look back into Leon’s eyes, still unconvinced he’ll drive us to the location and risk the Bratva with me. Taro is more dangerous than he looks. He could overthrow us. I know Leon thinks the same.
But not everything is about combat, I’m starting to realize. We’re walking into the unknown, and Taro has brains. He had one of his men use Maureen to his advantage. He knows what he’s doing.
And now he has Jess.
He also has a video recording of her leaving a child unattended six years ago.
Fuck. He can take that all the way to the police.
Best not to tell Leon about that for now. It might put him off.
“What’s in this for you?” I’m skeptical. He could get himself killed. There’s not much difference between this and him throwing himself off a cliff.
“I want eighteen-year-old Nadir back.”
I clench my hands into fists. Knew it.
I flip him around, pinning him into the pedestrian light as it flashes green. Two people walk by, glancing at us in passing. But they know better than to bother us, and look away.
“What the fuck? Are you out of your mind?” he shouts.
“No. But you are,” I hiss in his ear. “Have some respect for your leader. I can fire you whenever I want. Don’t forget that.”
“Then fire me. Because this isn’t the Nadir I used to know.”
Mudak. I shove him harder, driving the back of his head into the pole.
He continues, “Each year, you stray further away from the person you once were.”
“I was a boy when we first met, and I was living in ruin, always on the verge of debt. Did you not see where I lived? Where you lived? I saved us both.”
“That’s what I believed for a time.” Leon twists around. “But you’re not saving me anymore. You’re not even saving yourself. We have more money than we need. When will it be enough?”
“I’m building an empire,” I growl.
“Who for?” Leon brushes himself off, coming away from the pole. “For yourself, or to make your dead father crawl in his grave?”
“Stay out of my past. You know nothing about it.”
“You told me you killed your family.” Leon narrows his eyes. “Why?”
“I did what had to be done. They killed someone I love.”
“A girl?”
I clench my jaw.
Leon takes my silence as a yes and continues speaking. He needs to shut up and leave me alone. But he likes to do the opposite of what I ask. “I knew you were hurting when I first met you.”
“If I want a shrink, I’ll ask for one. Stop giving me your unsolicited advice, Leon, and tell me right now where Taro’s keeping Jess. We’re wasting time.”
“A few minutes can’t hurt when you’ve wasted years. Can you even remember anything that’s happened this last decade?”
The months tend to blur into years when you keep the same routine. But routine is good. Routine promises outcomes and success.
“Maybe you didn’t have love for your family, but you had love for the girl,” Leon says. “I know what it feels like to lose someone you love.”
I keep my jaw clenched, unsure where he’s going with this conversation.
“I’d give every last cent in my pocket just for one more day with the people I love.” Leon spaces out, staring into the road. “My family were everything. They were killed back in Russia, which is why I came out here. To get away.”
So I heard. It’s the same story he told that girl all those years ago.
“I had to survive. For them,” he says. “You were in the middle of creating a Bratva, and I felt hopeful again.” He steps closer, searching my eyes like he’s trying to read my soul.
“We’re the same people. Always were. I knew we were both desperate for a new beginning.
And then you started a Bratva. It was the perfect opportunity.
As one family ends, another begins. It was nice to feel part of something again. ”
He steps back, shaking his head. “But this isn’t a family anymore, Nadir. You’ve grown too afraid. You refuse to feel anything real, which is why you can’t admit your feelings to Jess—not even to me.”
“Tell me where Taro’s keeping her.”
“You want to lose the Bratva, or do you want to lose Jess?”
“Stop asking foolish questions,” I snap. “You’re sounding like the enemy.”
Jess’s life is at risk and Leon wants to reminisce. I can’t think of anything more unconstructive.
“Admit your feelings, Nadir, and we go over there now.”
Son of a bitch. He knows I won’t torture him, squeeze the answer out of him that way. He knows I care. Knows I still see him as a friend. That’s why my gun is stowed away in my pocket. I can’t bring myself to hurt him, even though he’s really starting to get under my skin.
“What do you get out of this?”
“My brother back,” he says, pinning me with a look.
I take a step back, the adrenaline from today still coursing through me. Blyat. He’s never used this word for me before.
I was floating through life before I met Leon.
Aside from Anastasia, nobody understood me, not even my own family.
And then I met a man in New York who shared my interests, my zest for life, my desire to create something new.
I built my empire from the ground up, but I didn’t do it alone.
Leon’s support kept me going through those tough times.
“Jess means the world to me,” I tell him.
Is this the fucking confession he wants?
“She also knows Taro. They were together six years ago. She broke the relationship off and he started stalking her. He’s dangerous. Especially around Jess.”
Leon’s eyes flare wide. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“I didn’t want to. Jess poses a big risk to the business. And you want her gone.”
“Gone?” Leon’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline.
“Bratan, Jess breathes life into Sterling. She’s one of your best employees.
I’d never want her gone. And she’s good for you.
I see the way you look at her. Your voice rises every fucking time I even mention the girl in conversation.
You’re defensive. It’s endearing to see you care about something other than business. ”
His keys jingle as he removes them from his pocket. He crosses the road and comes to a stop outside of his car. “Are you coming with me? Or are you gonna stand there feeling sorry for yourself? We both know you’re better than that.”
I cross the road, still confused that Leon just said any of that.
I pop the car door robotically and sit in the passenger seat, staring vacantly through the windshield as Leon starts up the engine.
Leon was really never in it for the business. He cheered me on and motivated me through the dark times because he wanted family again.
The engine growls to life, and then we’re away, speeding down the street, turning onto the main road and following signs away from the city. I stare through the window as city lights pass, trying to pinpoint a significant time in history when I realized I’d made it as a Bratva leader.
There have definitely been moments. I sip coffee every morning, remembering my roots. But there’s never an end. Never enough. The chase never stops.
Until now, as we speed through the city on our way to rescue Jess. There has to be an end. There’s always more money, but there will never be another Jess.
And it’s always been her.