13. THIRTEEN
THIRTEEN
Colton
I compose my expression in the mirror and try again, aiming for smooth and seductive. “Natalia, don’t you want me to take care of your needs too?”
I frown. When I do it that way it only comes across as sleezy, when what I really want to tell her is I’m desperate for a taste of her slick. Technically there’s no reason for it. It won’t help the magic. But this arrangement was never about the magic for me.
I sigh, fussing with my hair only for it to fall into my eyes again. “Natalia, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“There is?”
I jump at her soft voice behind me, clearing my throat and shifting awkwardly. “Ah, yeah. I mean… there is.” Shit. I’m not ready for this, but she’s going to think I’m a weirdo if I confess to rehearsing it in the mirror.
“Oh is it about the, um… the ritual tonight?” She flushes and it might be my imagination, but her scent seems to grow richer.
“Yes.”
She cuts me off before I can really begin. “Oh, actually I was going to ask you if we could do it now.”
“You were?”
“Sure. I mean it’s my evening off and I thought I’d go to the spin class at the gym, but only if you don’t need me of course.”
I want to tell her I definitely need her. That I need her in my bed, on my face, riding my cock. Instead I shake my head. “No, I’ve got it covered here. Go out. Have fun.”
“Thanks.”
There’s a loaded silence. I can’t help beginning to imagine the ritual. As much as I hate that being the only excuse I have to touch her, I still love touching her and feeling her hands and mouth on me in return.
I’m already semi hard, my cock swelling to press at the fly of my jeans in eagerness.
Natalia takes a step closer. “Should we kiss?”
I should tell her no, that I don’t need that tonight and haven’t since the first night. Just the thought of her sucking me is enough to have me rock hard in moments and sporting a semi most of the rest of the day now that I know on some level she enjoys it too.
To my shame, I just nod.
She steps forward, but just as I’m reaching for her, fingers itching to slide over the soft dip of her waist, she hesitates. “Hey, is everything alright? You’re not feeling weird about this or anything are you? I mean you still want this, right?”
“Yes, of course.”
She looks relieved. This would be the perfect time to tell her what’s been on my mind, but before I can stumble through the words, she gives me a warm smile.
“Because I would hate to ruin how comfortable and easy things have been between us. I really feel like I can trust you, and that’s meant so much to me. I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship so soon after everything with Miguel, and so I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
My body goes cold and my chest seizes up like I’ve taken a hard tackle from a dragon.
“Oh yeah, no. Right. Of course. I mean it’s not a great time for me to start a new relationship either, what with being a new dad and my job…
” This is not the way this conversation was supposed to go.
I should tell her I don’t care about timing, but now that will sound insensitive.
Fuck.
Natalia lets out a sigh of relief. “Great. I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
“Yeah.”
I’ve failed again to tell her how she’s the last thing I think about at night and the first thing I think about when I wake in the morning—or for the fifth time during the night and in the hours when I’m lying there looking at the ceiling wondering if Jayden really is asleep or if he’s about to cry again.
Not only that, but I’ve made it worse by telling her something that’s not true.
If she told me she was ready, I’d be on my knees offering her the biggest ring she’s ever seen by now.
Natalia’s lips press against my collarbone, and she slides her hands up my chest, reaching for my neck, signaling that I should lean down to kiss her. As she does, her body presses against mine and she gets a good feel of the hard bulge at my crotch.
She pulls back with a little chuckle. “Oh! Looks like someone is ready to get straight down to business.”
Fucking traitor. If only my cock could have stayed soft a few minutes longer to give me an excuse to hold her and kiss her.
She drops to her knees and makes quick work of my jeans. We should be quick. Jayden is in the other room after all, but I can’t help wishing we could draw this out, just to enjoy the feel of her mouth on me for longer.
She makes a little satisfied sound as her tongue touches the tip of my cock, and I pulse between her lips. Soon she’s sliding down and up, down and up, and I’m damn near losing my mind. The little hums she makes, the way she grips my hips.
I’m so, so doomed and don’t even mind it. I’d just like to live here in this moment forever.
I cum with a rush, head spinning and heart pounding at the look she flashes me beneath dark lashes. And then I have to look away, to gather myself as she wipes a finger over the corner of her mouth and stands. “OK, well Jayden has a fresh diaper, and I’ll be back in a few hours for night shift.”
I nod and then, like a lovestruck moron, I moon over the perfect full shape of her ass as she bends to pick up her gym bag.
Natalia has only been gone about ten minutes when there’s a familiar rap on my door. I open it and offer Leroy a listless lift of my chin. “Hey, man.”
“Hey, what’s eating you?”
I stand back to let him in, avoiding his gaze. “It’s nothing.”
My best friend stops in the hall, quirks his head to listen for a moment, then shrugs. “Well baby’s not crying and the place looks pretty clean compared to how it’s been lately. You got rid of that stalker, so I’m going to guess it’s the nanny.”
I let loose a heavy sigh. “It’s not her fault.”
Leroy laughs. “Ah, but it is her. Well come on, Sarah’s not expecting me home for hours. Spill.” Then he walks into the living room, picks Jayden up off the mat, and settles himself on the sofa.
I flop into the sofa chair opposite, resigned to my fate. “I think we might have crossed a line and that might have been a mistake.”
Leroy shakes his head. “Man, I told you not to screw the nanny.”
“No, it’s not like that!”
He just looks at me until the back of my neck gets a little hot. “OK, it’s a little bit like that.”
“Knew it.”
Jayden reaches out a fat little fist toward his rattle, and Leroy stoops to pick it up and give it to him without looking away from me. “So? She’s a terrible lay and now you don’t know how to get out of this?”
My fists clench and I snort out a hot breath through my nostrils. “There’s nothing terrible about her.” Then I realize what I’ve said.
Leroy chuckles. “From the look of you I figured, but you weren’t going to tell me.”
“We haven’t slept together. It’s more complicated than that.”
“I’m listening.”
I scrub a hand over my face. “She’s taking my cum so she can feed Jayden.”
My friend’s mouth drops open, and the smug look disappears. “No shit?” He’s a goat shifter, so he gets it.
I nod.
He lets out a low whistle. “Well damn. And it’s working? I didn’t know humans could do that.”
“It’s working. I can smell the milk on her. Any day now. There’s just one problem.”
“What’s that?”
“When her milk comes in there will be no reason for her to keep touching me, and I never want her to stop.”
Leroy leans back against the backrest and is quiet for a moment. “Do you think she’s into you as well? She must be at least a little bit if she’s doing the whole—” he makes a very obscene gesture that makes the back of my neck heat and my mind fill with filthy images.
I sigh. “I don’t know. I feel like she’s keeping me at arm’s length, which is understandable. She’s just been through a pretty rough breakup, and she says she’s not ready for a relationship.”
“And that’s what you want? The full works?”
I nod. “This is gonna sound stupid, but I’m starting to wonder if maybe—” I break off, unable to speak the words aloud, even in front of my best friend.
Leroy has known me far too long, though. “If maybe she’s the one?”
I’m silent, but that speaks volumes.
He whistles again. “Shit. A human. Are you sure?”
“No. I’ve never found my fated mate before, have I?”
He laughs. “Well, I wish you luck with it, man.”
“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got for me? You’re supposed to be my friend. Don’t you have some advice?”
He just laughs again. “Man, I’m stumbling around in the dark one day at a time with Sarah. If I have any advice for you, it’s don’t ever get comfortable. They’ll keep you on your hooves. But at the end of the day, if she’s your fated mate, she’ll be worth it.”