Chapter 17 #2
Nodding, he walked into his closet and opened the large box he hadn’t yet bothered to unpack. Locating the items he needed, he returned to the bedroom.
Her breath hitched the moment she saw what he held. Eyes wide, she shivered and her thighs clenched together. He laid the items on the bed and sat down.
“Tell me exactly what happened with Snyder.”
He listened, eyes fixed on the headboard so he wouldn’t lose his shit. When she was done, he forced an exhale and looked into her eyes. “What do you feel for him, Leia?” He needed to be absolutely sure.
“Before this morning, I was grateful for what he did for me. But now, I can’t help but think he was…”
“Grooming you?”
Her eyes clouded. “I know what you thought when you first met him, but I couldn’t… I didn’t want to believe… ”
Noah rose to his feet. Grabbing the items, he held them up.
“I need to erase what he’s done to you. I need you to feel my hand, not his. So which is it to be? The ropes? Or the bull whip?”
Her mouth opened, but no words emerged. Her eyes, totally devoid of her earlier apprehension, darted between the two choices, her nipples slowly peaking. “I can’t… I don’t know…”
“Fine. The ropes it is.” He tossed the whip away and picked up the three white silk ropes. As he passed them between his hands, his blood began to thrum to a different beat.
Her nipples furled tighter, her nails digging into her thighs.
“Place your wrists up on the pillow beside your head. Because of your injury, I’ll have to tie your elbows.
” He waited for her to obey before he moved lower on the bed.
“Draw your knees up. Open them wide.” Again, he forced himself not to become absorbed in her body.
The ferocious hunger running rampant through him dueled with the rage.
The second emotion needed to be dealt with before he did anything to put her at risk.
Working quickly, he looped the rope twice around her waist, placed the knots where he needed them, then hooked two loops on either side of her thighs and bound her ankles before securing them to the special hooks set into his bed.
He stretched the ropes so she was wide open to him.
Once he’d secured her elbows with knots that restrained her in a perpendicular hold, he stood back and looked down at her. “Does it hurt anywhere?” he asked.
Her tongue darted out, wetting her lower lip. “It’s a little… uncomfortable, but no, it doesn’t hurt.”
He bent down and gently kissed her forehead. “Your comfort is a non-issue here. This is supposed to be punishment, remember? ”
“Yes, Noah.”
Unable to resist, he traced a hand between her breasts, down to the rope securing her waist. Fighting his instincts, he drew back. “I can’t take you when I feel like this. You’re not the only one who deplores angry sex. So I’m going to take a minute.”
He left while he still had use of his legs, leaving the bedroom door ajar so he could hear her if she needed him. Striding to the bar, he poured a neat whiskey and tossed it back. Then another. The third he sipped, shutting his eyes as the liquid followed the same burning path.
Whirling away from the bar, he crossed to the living room and dropped into a sofa, desperately trying to blank his mind of what had happened to Leia this morning. How badly things could’ve gone.
He didn’t think for one moment Snyder was incapable of rape. He was a little gratified that Leia had fought back, but hell…
He started as his phone rang. Frowning, he dug through his tuxedo jacket and stared, incredulous, at the number.
“Did you forget I’m no longer your patient?” he snarled into the phone.
Shannon laughed and did that pausing thing that had always irritated him. She was waiting for him to fill the silence, to volunteer information. He’d never fallen for the ploy during their therapy sessions. He sure as hell wasn’t going to fall for it now.
He waited her out until she cleared her throat. “It was great to see you again last night. I thought we’d reconnected, but you left without saying goodbye.”
“I didn’t realize I was obligated to.”
“Well, a goodbye would’ve been nice, Noah. I thought we were getting along?— ”
“You mean you thought I’d be crazy enough to return for seconds after I told you it’ll never happen? I distinctly remember telling you to lose my number. Or do you want the ethics board to be apprised of the fact that you banged a patient?”
A husky laugh. “You’re no longer my patient and that wasn’t what I called for.”
“Then get to the fucking point.” He knew he was being an asshole. But he couldn’t help himself. Leia had shredded every bit of his control and left him exposed… Bleeding. Shannon had picked the worst possible time to call.
“Earlier this evening when we were talking, I thought you’d made progress. But now I’m convinced you haven’t. I think you need to talk to someone.”
“You mean you?”
“No, I can never be your therapist again, but I care about you… and I was hoping?—”
He sighed. “It’s never going to happen. We may no longer be patient and shrink, but we did fuck when I was your patient, so you need to decide if you want to let one fuck ruin your career, or if you wanna stop debasing yourself and walk away with some dignity. If I were you, I’d choose option two.”
She went silent again. Noah waited her out. “In that case, I have a few highly reputable colleagues who?—”
“No.”
“Noah…”
“I said no. Believe it or not I know exactly what my problem is, Shannon.”
“You do?” Surprise made her voice squeak.
He leaned forward and held the glass against his forehead. He shivered, his body suddenly terrifyingly cold, drowning him in the truth that drenched his soul.
“This time my problem isn’t holding back. My problem is letting go.”