Chapter 55
Ava could see a muscle in his jaw tick as he'd said it. It made her worry about whatever it was he wanted to discuss, if discussing it was even his intention at all.
There wasn't much to do except watch him storm off and with a sigh, she dropped back into the couch. It was funny how she'd felt so at home in this place at one point. The furnishing around her was the same yet her feelings about the place were not.
From deep within the estate, she heard a crash and a bang which made her jump up. Her heart started beating faster as she debated on what she should do. She could go have a look when Sébastien specifically asked her to stay here or she could simply leave.
But she knew she couldn't leave if there was a possibility Sébastien had gotten hurt. She didn't care much for the other man, but she had to check regardless.
Carefully, she made her way to the all-too-familiar servant's quarters without being hurt. She'd only peek inside and then make her escape again.
As the hallway came into sight she could hear shouting as well as a woman's voice, who she could imagine was Jane. Ava had forgotten about her but it made sense she was there as well since she was visiting Mr. Olson.
She had no idea what she was getting herself into and feared she had caused yet another fight. Despair flooded her mind at that thought. Why had she even come here in the first place? It hadn't been to cause more pain and drama yet that's exactly what happened here.
Things never seemed to work out the way she wanted them to. It was like the universe was telling her to go fuck herself over and over again.
She willed her feet to keep moving forward even when she didn't want to anymore. After turning the corner the scene unfolded in front of her.
Sébastien had grasped the scruff of the older man's neck and was speaking quickly and heatedly. Jane held on to one of Sébastien's arms as she pleaded for him to calm down. Unsuccessfully.
Ava couldn't hear what was being said but by the look on Mr. Olson's face, it wouldn't have been anything pleasant.
The muscles in Sébastien's back were visible from under his shirt and she could see how tense he was.
It seemed to take him a lot of effort to restrain himself before he pushed the man away from him.
With a loud 'thud', the man fell on his behind. It took him less than a second to jump to his feet to create a bit of distance between him and Sébastien and Ava could see that he was afraid. It was a look she didn't mind seeing on the old man.
Sébastien also roughly shoved Jane away, who was still clinging to his arm but managed to stay upright. Tears streamed down her face but to her credit, she didn't say anything.
"Get out," Sébastien ground out. But while the old man scrambled toward the door Jane stepped toward him again. "GET OUT," he boomed at her. The sound even shook Ava a bit as she hadn't expected him to react this way.
The way his shoulders heaved up and down from his ragged breathing made her a little weary of what to do next. He was obviously not happy about whatever had transpired between the three of them but she had missed the actual context of the situation.
She waited for a second to let him cool down before stepping forward. "Sébastien? What's going on?"
"I'm sorry," he started while staring down at his hands. "I should've seen what was going on. I don't know why it took me this long to realize."
"Realize what?" She asked carefully.
"I didn't break up with you, Ave," he said, repeating his words from earlier. She still didn't understand how that gave her any more information until everything fell into place.
He didn't break up with her. Someone else broke them up.
Olson.
But what would have been his end goal? Get his niece with Sébastien? Would Jane be in on this too?
The information overload hurt her brain as she clutched her head in her hands. "Ava?" he asked worriedly.
"I'm so sorry too," she cried as tears flowed freely down her face. "God, I have been so stupid."
"It's not your fault."
"It isn't yours either," she replied immediately.
In the silence that followed she tried to process it all. Where would this leave them? Could they come back from this? And would that even do any of them any good?
He appeared to be on the same train of thought as he carefully approached the subject. "Maybe we could start over," he proposed. "You can stay here again and we can work things out."
"Can we?"
"Yes," he replied, full of conviction. "We can."
Did she want to start over? Yes, without a doubt. But she also knew she'd be setting herself up for failure again and she didn't know if she'd survive another heartbreak like that.
It had taken her so long to be able to function normally again and only because she had Everly to help her through it. What if she wasn't there a second time?
The smart thing to do, she decided, was to decline the offer. Maybe it was time to really leave this town for good.
But why did the idea hurt so much? Like a fist was closing around her heart to squeeze out the essence of her very being. It made it hard to breathe and she had to take a few deep breaths to still her mind.
She noticed he was still studying her, waiting for an answer.
"I don't know if I can ever go through this again," she whispered truthfully. A pained look crossed his face before he closed the gap between them to grasp her hands in his.
"We don't have to. I can't imagine a life without you in it, Ave. Unless you don't feel the same way, but just tell me if that's the case."
She didn't answer him. Her mouth had gone dry and to deny her feelings to him would be a huge lie. Truth was, she still loved him. More than anything. Maybe lying would have made everything easier, but she couldn't.
"We feel this way now, but what about the future? How can we know we'll still love each other down the line?"
"We will," he assured her while squeezing her hand. "I believe in us."
"I want to, too," she replied, leaving the rest unsaid. A single tear slid down her face and he followed it with his eyes. A pensive look washed over his face as he internally debated on what to say next until determination filled his eyes.
She wondered what he was about to say, she expected much of the same but she wasn't even close. His next words pulled her breath from her lungs and sent her heart into a frenzy.
"Marry me."
She didn't know how to react. Seconds earlier, she had been debating on whether this whole relationship could go on.
Sébastien was still looking at her, his face serious indicating that he wasn't joking. But that same old question that always rose to the surface came back to her; why her?
He wanted to be with her, that much she could see now. But she had nothing to offer him. She was no one. And he deserved better than that.
But she also had to explore the other side. What if she said no? Was it even possible to move on from that? From him?
It wasn't hard to see that he would become the one that got away. Her whole life, she would go on to compare every man with him only to find that none of them came close.
If she were anyone but herself, what advice would she give herself? She didn't have to think too hard about it. It would be a simple 'follow your heart'.
But the situation felt anything but simple. Because if she did follow her heart, she'd say yes. But she'd also be setting herself up for failure again.
If only Everly was here to help her. She'd know what to say to her and then, poof! Everything would be crystal clear and Ava would know what to do.
Was she truly so helpless she couldn't even make a decision without someone else's help? She was better than that, she'd come to learn. She was a full person capable of making decisions. And she was going to make one now.
At the count of three, she'd respond to him. Whatever she'd pick, she'd stand by it.
One.
Two.
Three.
"Yes."