Chapter 11
Eleven
The incident on the stairs would have played out differently if Elio had been aware of what was said before he appeared.
He saw Milo go into Starlight and hurried to catch up but was too late when he ran up the stairs and found Milo cornered by Brad and his gang of brats.
Elio could see that they were enjoying themselves and that Milo was in distress.
But instead of sticking around to interrogate the suspects, Elio had rushed to comfort Milo.
For the life of him, Elio would never understand how he had a dark reputation when people like Brad and Tyler were rotten to their cores.
Knowing that little would change at Starlight and that Brad and his cronies would continue to fail upwards infuriated Elio and he escaped for fresh air and a change of scenery.
Milo may have talked Elio down that morning, but a confrontation was inevitable and there was no doubting where the blame would be placed.
No matter how despicable they behaved, Elio would be the one who blew up and went too far.
Thankfully, Elio didn’t care if he was blamed and it was chalked up to him being difficult and combustible.
He just found it ironic that he was the most appalled and offended by their accusations and backhanded comments.
They were implying terrible things about Milo but Elio had a real problem with what they were suggesting about him.
He had been called many things: irrational, unpredictable, impetuous, inconsiderate, volatile, mad…
Those were all fine and possibly true. But Elio never allowed his baser instincts to override his decency.
He would never take advantage of a vulnerable peer or use his position to manipulate anyone into having sex with him.
That kind of behavior offended Elio to his core and he didn’t want that added to his reputation.
He was a lot of things, but Elio wasn’t a creep.
The fact that Brad and Tyler automatically assumed that Elio couldn’t see more in Milo also ticked him off. What if Elio wanted to be Milo’s pet? What if it was Milo getting unlimited head? That never occurred to them, did it?
Well, it had occurred to Elio and kept him away from the institute for the rest of the day.
The odds of crossing paths with Brad or Tyler while he was still in a reckless mood was high and Elio knew he wouldn’t get a thing done in the office with Milo there.
It had been easier to think at the skatepark and after he returned to Muriel’s and Elio was finally able to put the morning and Starlight behind him.
Most of the day was over, Elio finally realized when he looked away from the dry erase board and noted how dark it had gotten.
The clock on the mantle in Muriel’s sitting room informed him that it was almost 9:00.
He turned on the nearest lamp, pleased at how long he’d gone without thinking about Starlight or Milo.
It had been hours and Elio felt more like himself as he switched to a fresh red marker and returned to the board. Ready to burn up what was left of the day, Elio honed in on the string he was working on but his focus was snatched away by a knock at the door.
“Oida!” he shouted around the marker’s cap and spit it out as he dropped the marker and hunted for his shirt. He spun as he recalled kicking off his boots in the bedroom, then flailed a hand as he headed for the door. “Uninvited guests deserve what they get,” he said as he yanked the door open.
“Hi!” Milo flinched and squeaked. He was dressed for bed in a Weezer T-shirt, plaid pajama pants and white socks. “Sorry to bother you but I was afraid I’d chicken out if I waited until tomorrow.”
Elio should have put on a shirt. “Hello…” He looked down and swore when he noticed his fly was undone and quickly zipped and buttoned it.
“Sorry. I was undressing…an hour ago?” he guessed, then shrugged as he turned on his heel, gesturing for Milo to follow.
“What did you need? I’d offer you a drink but I don’t know where anything is and all I have in my bag is a warm Red Bull. ”
“That’s okay, I’m not thirsty.”
“Good.” Elio searched for the marker he dropped and chuckled when he found it. He swiped it off the floor and raised a brow at Milo. “What can I do for you?”
“Uh…” Milo had leaned to the side and his neck swiveled as he took a few steps closer, squinting at Elio’s left pec. “I wanted to ask a favor,” he said distantly, then let out a small gasp. “Higgs boson,” he mouthed, smiling at Elio in delight.
That look shouldn’t have made Elio’s heart skip, but it did as he bowed his head. “Yes. Your favor?” he prompted and Milo bit his lip, tucking away a shy grin.
“Remember how you said earlier that you might rub off on me?”
Elio nodded, picturing something very different, very literal. “I think so,” he answered weakly. Suddenly he was thirsty as Milo licked his lips and moved in to read the equation on Elio’s right bicep. “You should stand up for yourself.”
“I want to. Could you teach me?” Milo asked and finally lifted his eyes to Elio’s.
“Teach you?”
“How to be…a bad boy like you. I’m such a nerd and I do whatever it takes to avoid confrontations.
I worry so much about what everyone thinks about me and I want everyone to think I’m cool and a good guy, but I just get stepped on.
You never freeze up and you always know exactly what to say.
How do you see through everyone and why doesn’t anything ever bother you? ”
“Milo…” Eli laughed softly and brushed back the hair that had fallen over Milo’s eyes so he could see them better.
His physical features were undeniably handsome and Elio was particularly affected by the dimple in Milo’s chin and his unintentionally slutty, thick-framed glasses.
“You are bad like me, you just haven’t figured that out yet. ”
His grin spread until it reached Milo’s eyes, making Elio’s heart race faster as he began to sweat. “I doubt it but if I could be just a little like you, my life would be a lot easier.”
“Listen to me,” Elio commanded, cupping Milo’s cheek so his eyes wouldn’t stray.
It was impossible to concentrate whenever Milo’s eyes wandered.
“We are similar in the most important ways. We’re both intellectually gifted but neither of us have ever had to worry about what would happen if we weren’t.
Both of us were raised with unconditional love and were told that we could be anything we wanted.
Do you think Brad or Bryan or Tyler know what that is like? ”
Milo’s eyes grew wider as he shook his head. “Brad says his father thinks he’s a failure and everyone knows it’s why he’s at Starlight. His dad bought his way onto the board to make sure Brad had a job.”
“See!” Elio gave his cheek a tender pat.
“The people you love—who matter to you the most—have always believed in your greatness and no matter what you do, they will always love you. Just as I know that no matter how badly I behave or how many bridges I burn, my brothers will always have my back and accept me. Why the fuck would I care about what anyone else thinks? Especially someone like Brad,” he added with a hard dose of disdain.
“Why would you?” Milo agreed, covering his mouth to hold back a watery laugh. “Why do I care about what Brad thinks? My family loves me and they’re the best people in the world!”
“Exactly. Let that be lesson number one and take it to heart, Milo. It’s the most important thing you’ll ever learn.
I was already brainwashed into believing I was a genius and unstoppable by the time I’d heard my first professional ‘no’ and was told I couldn’t do something.
I had Leo and Theo’s voices in my ear telling me I could do or be anything, why would I believe some washed-up administrative hack over them? ”
“I’ll try my best,” Milo said with a defiant lift of his chin. “What else?”
“That’s a big one to overcome, especially with your anxiety disorder,” Elio warned gently and noted the way Milo’s smile faltered and his gaze dropped again.
“I’ve worked really hard with my parents and my therapists to manage it. I want to be normal and fit in but I know it could get worse like my dad’s and I might not be able to make it out here with everyone else for much longer.”
“Do you think it will?” Elio saw Milo at the back of the lounge at Starlight, alone and vulnerable at his little table as the pre-Monday meeting chaos raged around him.
He must have felt like a target and so vulnerable.
Elio wanted to rip Hector a new arsehole for ignoring Milo’s disability and allowing his coworkers to torment him.
Elio would give Brad a black eye if he so much as looked at Milo again.
“It might. Dad started to get worse when he was around my age. Thankfully, he had Mom to look out for him and then he had Riley. He barely goes out now, just to the few places he knows really well and to little things at friends’ and family’s houses.”
“That’s too bad,” Elio said but Milo shook his head.
“Not really. Dad’s happy and he has a full life. His world is just smaller and cozier and he doesn’t leave 8B very often.”
“I guess that’s not so bad.”
“I don’t think I’ll miss the outside world if I do get agoraphobia like Dad but I haven’t decided if I want to stay with him in 8B or with Mom in 6C or get my own place…
” Milo rambled. His eyes had wandered again, drifting lower to Elio’s navel.
“Relativity,” he whispered, then lowered and craned his neck to read along Elio’s waistband.
“I would miss you,” Elio said, his voice cracking as Milo’s finger stretched.
“You could visit me. What is this?” he asked and pushed his glasses up his nose as he leaned in even closer.
“That’s…” Elio glanced at the thermostat in the hall and wondered if it had been tampered with because he was burning. “A piece of something I’ve been working on,” he managed.