Chapter 2 #2
I shake my head, my gaze focused on Cora’s tiny mouth which is squeezed up into a teeny pout. The coffee machine whirs and bangs as I push the spoon at her. “Come on, baby,” I croon. “Be good for me.”
Niall chuckles. “I’ve said that a few times in my life,” he announces, throwing himself down into the chair opposite me and next to Cora. He drops a kiss on her head and grabs the newspaper, unfolding it with a snap.
I shake my head. “You’re disgusting.”
He nods happily. “You know it.” He takes a sip of his coffee and looks at Cora. “Weetabix is very nice,” he informs her in a solemn tone. “And you are not winning with us. We may be cool uncles but by God, we’re going to wean you before your small and annoyingly know-it-all daddy gets back.”
I laugh. “That’s a mission statement if ever I heard one.”
He grins at me. “I do like a challenge.”
They’re innocuous words spoken with no subtext but for some reason, my head shoots up and our eyes lock.
I pull my gaze away. “You really do,” I say.
Then I smile. “Do you remember when you tried to teach me how to ride a bike? Now, that was a real challenge. I ended up going backwards and breaking one of your toes.” I throw my head back and laugh at the thought and it’s surprising.
A deep, big laugh like the ones I used to give before Thomas.
He doesn’t laugh but instead looks at me for a long, stretching moment, and his brow creases almost in shock as if he’s seen a ghost. My laughter dies away, leaving us sitting in a strained silence that seems to linger and stretch like candyfloss unravelling in a string.
He makes no attempt to break it but just looks at me with his eyes dark and mysterious.
I clear my throat awkwardly. “You okay?” I ask, and my voice is husky and sounds like I’ve never used it before.
I feel a blush starting up on my cheeks and he jerks as if I’ve wakened him from a dream.
We stare at each other for long seconds and he has the most peculiar expression on his face.
I can identify shock but nothing else. Then it clears and he laughs.
It sounds slightly shaky to my ears, but I can’t detect anything other than a slight awkwardness when I look at him.
“I certainly am,” he says, his voice slightly deeper than normal. I swallow hard as he reaches across the table but he merely plucks the spoon from me. “Let’s have a go,” he says and turns to Cora.
Silence reigns for a moment, only broken by the radio in the background and the sound of Cora spitting every spoonful of food back.
I get up and wander over to the teapot to pour myself some more tea.
Once done, I lean against the counter and watch Niall as he tries to coax food into the truculent baby’s mouth.
His hand looks massive on the tiny spoon and he towers over Cora, but the power is definitely reversed in this scenario as once again he removes the spoon from her mouth and, with a slightly triumphant air, Cora spits it straight back out. I turn and switch the kettle on.
He looks up and shakes his head when he sees the bottle I’m getting from the fridge. “Giving up already? For shame, Milo.”
I smile. “You will too because any minute she’s going to get really hungry and start crying at a decibel level that could be heard in Australia.
” I shake my head. “Tiny battles, one at a time, and always do it when she’s hungry and not starving.
That way she’ll get used to it quickly and mealtimes won’t be associated with suffering. ”
“How do you know this stuff?”
I shrug. “Oz has read so many baby books he should take out shares in Penguin Books. I listen when he talks, and it also tends to go in like osmosis.”
He sips his coffee and watches as I squirt the bottle on my inner arm to test the heat. “You’re very good at it.” He pauses as if thinking hard. “Do you want children?”
I can’t help my startled laugh as I walk towards Cora.
She spots the bottle and immediately bounces in her chair like a baby bird in the nest. I unstrap her and, cradling her in one arm, I sit down.
Seeing that I have my hands full, he immediately reaches over and takes off the top of the bottle for me.
I smile my thanks and for some reason, he looks awkward, his cheeks flushing.
I stare at him as I feed Cora the nipple of the bottle and she settles heavy against me. “You alright?” I ask.
He nods quickly. “You never answered my question,” he says abruptly.
I jerk and whisper my sorry as Cora loses the bottle and gives me an accusing look. Settling her again, I look back at him. “Do I want children?” I shake my head. “No, I don’t think I’d be very good.”
“Why? You’re amazing with her.”
I shrug. “Thank you.” I sigh. “I’ve been so fucked up for years and I don’t think that’s a very good thing in a parent. They need someone confident and sure of themselves.”
“Bollocks,” he says, and there’s a cross note in his voice.
“You’re perfect. So you had a stutter and had bad taste in the partner you picked.
So fucking what? Those things don’t matter.
What does matter is that you’re warm and funny and you really listen to people.
You bloody care and that’s in short supply in this world.
I also happen to think that you’re plenty fierce when it matters to you.
A baby would be very lucky to have you in his or her corner. ”
I stare at him with my mouth open and he flushes, looking extremely awkward. It’s such a rare sight that I relish it without knowing why. Finally, I stir. “Thank you.”
He shrugs, reaching for his coffee and picking the newspaper back up.
He then starts to discuss world events with a slightly feverish determination.
I take part, but I can’t help the small glances I give him as I sit in the sunlit kitchen with Cora’s weight and baby smell surrounding me.
It’s why I’m able to catch the quick glances he keeps giving me too. What is happening right now?
I’m no nearer an explanation by night time.
The day has been spent walking the house with the housekeeper as we prepare to close down for the winter.
Silas only opens Chi an Mor for six months of the year and for the rest of the time the house is closed to the general public.
It’s a magic time when the place seems to return to its true self.
Silence falls, and instead of people talking and laughing there is the sound of the sea and the wind in the trees.
However, this year we won’t have so much quiet as a film crew is using the house to film a fantasy TV series.
It’s the second time they’ve done it, and I know Oz and Silas are hoping that it’s popular enough to get the rest of the books they’re based on filmed.
The books are a huge success and the TV series has brought a lot of visitors to the house, so the shop regularly sells out of memorabilia.
So for the next few weeks, rather than shutting the house up for the autumn, Polly, the housekeeper, and I will be going around with a list that’s longer than my body of what needs to be done before the film crew arrives in a month.
Consequently, I’m tired, dirty, aching, and looking forward to a nice bath and maybe a takeaway.
Cora has been an angel. She’s used to being carted all over the house by Oz and she loves people. Any people. She’d, therefore, sat happily in the sling attached to me looking out at everyone like a tiny queen.
I haven’t seen Niall at all after the strange episode this morning.
He strode out muttering that he’d be on the bottom field if I needed him, and he didn’t even come back for lunch, which he usually manages to do.
I frown as I look down at Cora as we move through the lounge on our way to the bathroom to give her a bath.
“Don’t tell anyone,” I whisper to her. “But I actually missed him today. I know he’s forceful and arrogant, but I do like his company. Do you think that’s silly?”
She stares back at me and bats my lip with a tiny fist. I grab it and kiss it and she chortles, giving me a wide, gummy smile.
“Okay,” I say briskly. “We’ll give you a lovely bath.
And then it’s a nice bottle and bed. What do you think?
” She stares at me and I nod and make my eyes wide in an exaggerated fashion that I’ve learned babies like.
“You’ll be such a lovely clean girl and maybe Niall will come to see you before bedtime.
” I sigh. “I’m not mentioning him again, Cora.
Stop me if I do because before you know it, I’ll be making myself a fool over him like I’m thirteen again.
” I shudder at the memory of my crush. “God, it’s embarrassing looking back on that,” I say. “Push it away, Milo.”
I shove the bathroom door open and stop. “Does it seem cold in here to you?”
Obviously, she doesn’t answer so I stride over to the radiator and, juggling her on my hip, I reach out and touch it. It’s stone cold.
“What the hell?” I whisper. I think back to the radiator not working in my workroom and, now I come to think of it, the lounge had been cold in the apartment. I’d dismissed it as Silas and Oz thinking of the bills they’d have if they heated an empty apartment, but maybe it’s not that.
I exit the bathroom and try the radiator in Cora’s room. It’s ice-cold too. A horrible thought occurs to me and, retracing my steps to the bathroom, I turn the hot tap on. Letting it run for a second, I stick my fingers under the flow of water and pull back with a hiss. It’s freezing.
“Shit!” I say.
Cora chuckles and I look down at her and shake my head. “You didn’t hear that, and you definitely are not going to make it your first word.” She stares back at me and I cuddle her close. “Well, Cora Bora, the heating’s broken. Shall we go and try and get the boiler to work or shall we ring Niall?”
She kicks her legs at the sound of his name and I kiss her forehead, inhaling the faint scent of baby shampoo.
“Maybe he’ll repair it shirtless.” I shake myself. “Stop it, Milo.”
Pulling my phone out, I press the button to ring him. The phone rings for a few seconds before his deep voice comes over the line, making me shiver slightly. “Lo,” he says quickly. “Everything okay?”
“Not really,” I sigh. “The heating’s off and the water’s cold. I think the boiler’s broken down again.”
“Shit,” he mutters. “I told Silas he needed a new one and it was a priority before winter.”
“I think paying the gas bill was more of a priority.”
He sighs. “Okay, I’ll be five minutes. I’m out by the lake.”
“You’re still working?”
He chuckles. “Always.”
“I’d try and do it myself, but I think we all remember the time I tried to put that flatpack bed together.”
He groans. “I remember it vividly. You ended up with a load of screws that you hadn’t used, and when Silas got in the bed it collapsed and nearly broke his legs.
Let’s not do that again. It wasn’t a fun moment.
Anyway, you’ve got Cora. I don’t want you poking around on that thing when you’re looking after her. ”
I try to dispel the sense of warmth I get when he goes protective. I think of how Thomas had started like that and the warm feeling disappears.
“I could do it though,” I say a bit too forcefully.
There’s a startled silence for a second. When he speaks next I can hear the warmth. “Milo, I think you can do anything you put your mind to.”
My feathers settle down again. “Okay. Just so we’re both on the same page. I don’t need you riding in like a knight to the rescue.”
I don’t know where this aggression is coming from, but predictably he chuckles. “I would totally have the biggest and best armour.”
“Size isn’t everything,” I say tartly.
“Baby, who told you that?”
His voice is deep and rich and filled with laughter and something that sounds very much like heat, making me swallow hard. “Never mind. I’ll be here,” I say and end the call on his laughter. I look down at Cora and groan. “ I’ll be here . Where else would I bloody be?”
An hour and a half later there definitely aren’t any signs of humour about him. “Motherfucker,” he hisses as he fiddles with the recalcitrant boiler.
“Language,” I say primly, and he grunts.
I watch him, trying not to dwell on how gorgeous he looks.
He’s dressed in his comfortable working clothes of jeans and a white long-sleeved t-shirt over which he’s slung on a denim jacket and on top a red and blue plaid padded shirt jacket.
He’s wearing old work boots and his hair is messy, but he looks like a runway model as normal.
I take a second look. A lumberjack runway model.
“Any good?” he asks, and I jerk back to reality and put my hand on the radiator for a long minute.
“No,” I finally say apologetically.
He straightens up and stretches with a grunt. “I give up. The bloody thing’s fucked. We’ll have to get someone out to it.”
“How much is this going to cost Silas?” I ask worriedly.
He scrubs his hands over his face, leaving a dirty streak down one chiselled cheekbone. “I’ve got a friend who’ll come and look at it. He’ll give us mate’s rates. But it’s got to be done now, particularly as the film company is coming in a month.”
I nod. “Well, Cora and I will be fine. It’s only October. It’s not even that cold yet.”
“There’s a frost coming tonight, Lo.”
I don’t question him. Niall has a countryman’s native instinct for weather and tides and anything to do with the earth. He’s always right.
He shakes his head. “You can’t stay here with Cora. It’ll be too cold.”
“Hotel?”
He looks askance. “No, of course not.” He stares into space, obviously thinking hard. “Maggie’s away now so that only leaves Sarah and Michael who live in. They’ll more than likely go and stay with the Thompsons in their cottage and you’ll come and stay with me.”
“I can’t do that,” I say, panicked.
“Why?”
I can’t say I don’t want to be in close quarters with someone who, no matter what I do, I’m still attracted to. At some point, he’ll notice and I’ll die of embarrassment. I stall for time by shrugging. “She’s got so much stuff.”
“She’ll have as much stuff at my house as in a hotel and I’ve got a big car. We’ll get it all packed up and then the two of you are coming back with me.” He laughs. “I can detect your enthusiasm from here, Milo. It’s making me almost embarrassed by how much you want to be in my home.”
I shake my head. “Well, it’s only for a night.”
He grins. “Probably a few nights, babe. It’s Friday and he’s away for the week.”
“Shit!”
“Language,” he says primly.