Epilogue #2
I laugh. “I think that term might be a bit libellous if applied to Niall. A gentleman he isn’t.”
He laughs, and we lapse into an easy silence while I watch the runners and search for a familiar head and shoulders. I was telling the truth. I will miss him. Far more than anyone could guess.
This tall and effervescent man is my whole heart.
I love him fiercely and to the depths of me.
He’s everything to me. My best friend, my lover, and my biggest supporter.
My career has grown in leaps and bounds the last couple of years, now that I’m so much more confident in putting myself forward for jobs.
I’ll also leave the estate more and it’s totally down to Niall.
It’s as if him loving me both tethers me at his side and sets me gloriously free.
I feel happy to show me now because a wonderful man loves that person with all his faults and foibles, and if that person stutters then so fucking what?
That little practice that Niall set up in an unused room in Chi an Mor for me has now spread to three rooms and I employ an apprentice as well.
I’m totally myself with him and hold nothing back, and we fight and talk and fuck and love and it’s wonderful and liberating.
We finally find ourselves by the water jump and I smile.
“What?” Oz asks.
“This is where we were when Niall first kissed me.”
“How romantic and muddy,” he shudders, but the smile on his lips gives him away.
“Hey, it was romantic, especially the seven-month-old baby in between us and Brunhild the Happy Homophobe to one side.”
“Oh my God, is she here?” He ducks around me to look both ways.
“Probably. She’s always at these things,” I say gloomily. “It’s as if when they banned fox hunting she had to pick a lesser blood sport.”
“The foxes are probably laughing themselves silly now, having a lie down with a cup of tea.” He looks down at Cora. “I remember that,” he says. “You had Cora in that sling.”
“She wouldn’t fit now,” I say, eyeing the merry little girl who is jumping around us. She’s let her fear of ruining her new wellies be overtaken by the strong desire to jump in muddy puddles, and as such she’s speckled with the stuff.
“Sweetie, how do you manage to get it on your face?” Oz says, grabbing a wet wipe from his pocket and cleaning her face despite her screwing it up like she’s entering a gurning competition.
All around us are shouts and cheers, and we stand for ages growing colder but joining in the cheers and counting down as the runners jump into the freezing cold pond, grinning like lunatics.
“I can’t fathom the British,” Oz says, staring at two women who are shrieking at the cold with big grins on their faces.
“ You’re British.”
“I’m Irish,” he corrects me. “We’d have been in the pub by now shaking our heads at the idjits.”
Cora joins in, dancing about and occasionally stopping to admire her wellies or the huge sparkly red ring that Silas bought her from a stand earlier. Oz looks at her affectionately. “She’s got the taste of Lily Savage with regards to jewellery,” he mutters.
Suddenly he brightens. “There they are,” he exclaims, hoisting up Cora so she can see.
Niall and Silas are at the top of the platform.
They’re covered in mud and already soaking wet, but they’re laughing and Niall’s grin is white and wide in his muddy face.
The crowd starts a countdown and Niall puts a hand to his ear while Silas shakes his head and laughs at him.
Finally, holding hands, they jump into the water.
I laugh but it dies away quickly. “She’s here,” I hiss and sure enough, there she is, marching towards us and dragging her friend rather reluctantly with her.
“I found out today that you’re married to the Earl of Ashworth,” she says abruptly to Oz.
He blinks. “I’m sorry. Was I supposed to have informed you? I must have missed that memo.”
“I think it’s disgraceful that a peer of the realm should conduct his affairs so publicly. Married to a man indeed. This is why we need Brexit to get rid of these dreadful new-fangled ideas.”
“Oh, Sally,” her friend mutters.
“Yes, we should leave Europe and maybe we could get rid of those pesky things called manners too,” Oz mutters, bending to put Cora down as she wriggles in excitement at seeing Silas.
She turns her gaze on me. “And you’re the one who was kissing a man here last time in front of families and children. What do you say to that?”
“I say I’d do it again,” I say, taking a breath at the beginning to calm my breathing.
“I’d certainly hope so,” a deep voice drawls next to me. “But only if it’s me.”
I lean back against him for a second, loving the scent of his cologne mixed with clean sweat. He’s hard and warm against my back but also rather wet and soggy, so I move forward again rather quickly, catching the wry quirk of his lips as I do it.
“Nilo,” Cora screeches and dances over to him. She’s called him this since she could talk, and I love it. It’s an amalgam of me and him, so how could I not?
He bends down, pursing his lips for a kiss. “Come and give me a smooch, Cora Bora,” he demands, and she screams in delight as she smothers his face in smacking kisses. The old woman tuts, and Niall puts Cora down and stares at her. “Is there a problem?”
“I’ll say there’s a problem.”
“Is it that the food wagon was out of small children for you to eat for breakfast, or are the sweets falling off your house in the wood?”
“ Niall,” I say, trying not to laugh.
“It’s disgusting that this child should be surrounded by gay people.” She whispers the last words and I stare at her.
“She’s surrounded by love,” I say quietly. “I don’t think there’s anything better than that.”
I feel Niall’s stare on my face and when I turn, he’s looking at me with a very fixed and strange look on his face.
“You okay?” I ask curiously.
“Brace yourself,” Silas says, looking like he’s trying not to laugh.
I stare at him and then stand open-mouthed as Niall drops to his knees in front of me. Cora immediately dances over to him and drapes herself across his shoulder. She loves Niall with a passion.
I frown at him. “What are you doing?” I ask, and Oz starts to laugh.
“Milo,” Niall says after giving the old lady a death glare. “Milo Ramsay, you are the love of my life. Will you do me the inestimable honour of marrying me?”
“Oh my God,” I say faintly. “Is this actually happening at the moment?”
He stares up at me and the look on his face makes everything else fade away until all I can see is him.
“Not just to piss her off?” I say quietly, and he immediately shakes his head.
“Not even a little bit. I’m glad she’s here because maybe if she gets a look at even the teeniest bit of how much I love you it might lessen her sourness.
” He shrugs. “Either way, I don’t care. I’ve wanted to ask you for ages and it just suddenly occurred to me that we’re standing right where we had our first kiss, and I knew that now was the time because that moment changed my life in so many ways, not least of which is having you by my side.
And that’s where I want to keep you. By my side because you’re my home and I love you desperately. ”
He smiles and all the warmth and heat in his eyes makes me feel suddenly humbled. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this larger-than-life man but by God, I’m going to hold onto him. Hold onto him and love him with everything in me.
“I will,” I say fiercely.
“Not just to piss her off?” he whispers, and I grin.
“Fuck no. Not even a millimetre.” I lean down and whisper into his ear. “I love you so much, Niall. I always will because you’re my home too. I’d be honoured to marry you.”
For a second his eyes shimmer but then he blinks and pats his pocket, a comical look crossing his face. “Shit! The ring’s in the car.”
“Why is it in there?”
He shrugs, his grin seeming so big it might take over his face. “I was just waiting for the right time.”
“And this is it?” I ask, looking around the muddy field on this blustery day as the rain starts to fall harder, the cold drops blowing into our faces and making the crowd start to move towards the car park.
He nods. “It’s right for us, Lo.”
I smile helplessly down at him and he looks around as if for inspiration.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say. “Finish the run and we’ll get it when we get back to the car.”
“No way,” he says stoutly. He looks sideways at Cora, who is watching us with a fascinated expression on her face. “Cora Bora, can I borrow your ring?”
Ever generous, she immediately twists it off her finger and gives it to him.
He accepts it with a kiss and, grabbing my hand, he puts the garish sparkly thing on my finger.
“And I declare us engaged,” he says triumphantly.
He winks at the old woman. “Are you waiting to offer your congratulations? We haven’t got all day. ”
Mouthing like a cow chewing grass, she glares at him until her friend pulls her away.
“I think you can borrow that ring for a little bit, Nilo,” Cora says but then adds firmly, “And then you’ll have to get Daddy to buy you one of your own.”
Amongst the laughter, I reach down and pull him up, and he unfolds himself before grabbing me and pulling me into a hug.
“Not quite what you were expecting?” he asks after kissing me lustily to a lot of catcalls.
The faint worry in his voice makes me pull back and put my hand to his face.
It’s streaked with mud and rain, but his denim-blue eyes look at me steadily and there’s a look in them that says, incredibly, that I’m everything he needs.
“Why would I want that?” I say quietly. “You’ve always been better than my expectations, Niall. You always will be.”
He grabs me close and I cuddle into him on this muddy field, letting him shelter me from the wind which is blowing hard now and giving him my warmth in return. It’s our very own brand of teamwork, and I think it’s the best way to start our marriage.