Chapter Thirty-Eight
Mimic
The morning light filtered through the room, creating a beam of light that focused on the Bible lying on the nightstand like a spotlight. One of the books George filled my room with was a Bible. He probably didn’t think I’d read it. But I did. Cover to cover.
It was bullshit.
There was one particular verse that came to mind as the dust in the room danced in the ray of sunshine that peeked between where the curtains didn’t quite meet.
Psalm 30:5 Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
There was no fucking joy. A new day meant new shit piled on top of the shit from yesterday. My mother was alive. She was at the clubhouse waiting for me to come home.
I knew she wouldn’t leave. Indie was right about one thing: my mother wouldn’t give up until I talked to her. She’d always been that way. Whenever I got mad at her or Rose, she made me talk it out. She wouldn’t let me stay angry.
I didn’t want to hear her bullshit excuses.
I didn’t want to forgive her. Forgiving her meant no longer blaming her.
I knew she wasn’t to blame. Somewhere deep inside me, I knew everything Dakota said was a lie.
But if I admitted that out loud, it meant I had to admit that I’d let myself believe it because I needed to blame her.
I couldn’t live with the guilt that I’d allowed myself to be convinced she was evil. That I wasn’t strong enough to have faith in her. I loved my mother, and I’d let her down. That was the real crux of the problem.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t forgive her.
It was that I didn’t believe she would forgive me.
And I didn’t believe that because I couldn’t forgive myself.
I’d been weak.
I’d given in to save myself the pain.
Physical pain and emotional pain. Dakota was a master at delivering both. I’d had him in my sights yesterday, but my focus had been on Rose.
When I walked into that warehouse and saw him holding a gun to my sister’s head, nothing else mattered but her. I would have done anything he’d asked me to do as long as he didn’t hurt her.
I would have even let him fuck me if he had let her go. I would have done that for her. To make sure she was safe.
Dakota had threatened it every day. George was the only reason he hadn’t followed through on his threat. The day he let me go, George told me what would happen if I didn’t do what he asked. He’d pull the reins back and let Dakota have me.
He’d made it clear that he was the only thing standing in Dakota’s way. That he had protected me. Kept me from being raped like the countless women Dakota raped in front of me.
And I’d believed him. I sent him pictures of Amber every time he asked. He never asked about the club. He didn’t think King was anyone to be worried about. He believed Steele had a tight rein on my president.
The day we heard George Stone was dead, the nightmares came back. It wasn’t until months later that I realized Dakota had no idea where I was. That night was the first time I had slept through the night. The first time I’d been able to breathe deeply.
Now he knew.
And he wouldn’t stop coming after me. I was no longer safe here. Rose, Indie... my mother. They were all in danger. But they weren’t the only ones. If Dakota learned about my relationship with Sam, about Charlie and the twins, none of them would be safe.
“You’re thinking pretty hard over there for this early in the morning.”
I looked at the clock; it was only five. Too fucking early to get up, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.
“I can’t stay.”
Indie shot up and glared at me. “What do you mean, you can’t stay? Stay where?”
“In Diamond Creek. With the Silver Shadows.”
She sat up on the bed, and my eyes dropped to her chest. My tongue slipped out to wet my lips as I thought about pulling her nipple into my mouth. She smacked me in the gut and grabbed the sheet, covering her naked body from my sight.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“It’s not safe.”
“Mimic, I just let myself love that town. The people there.”
I sat up against the headboard. Not wanting to say the words any more than she would want to hear them.
“You have to stay.”
She tilted her head to the side as she studied me. She closed her eyes, and her head shook as though she didn’t believe what she was hearing. I didn’t blame her. I didn’t want to believe it either, but it was what needed to happen.
As long as I was there with her, with Rose, my mother, Sam and the girls, they were all in danger. I couldn’t let them be hurt. I wasn’t the selfish son of a bitch people believed me to be.
“You’re an asshole,” she said, getting up from the bed.
“Indie.”
“Nope.” She held her hand up and dropped the sheet. I bit my lip as I watched her naked ass sashay across the room to the bathroom. I groaned, knowing we had to have this conversation.
“You’re not safe. None of you are. Not now that he knows where I am. I can’t put you at risk. My sister. My mother. Sam and the girls. He will use anyone close to me to hurt me.”
She ignored me as she slammed the bathroom door closed. I heard the click of the lock a moment before the water turned on. I banged the back of my head against the wall in frustration.
She wouldn’t listen. And she locked her body behind the door where I couldn’t touch her. Where I couldn’t collar her throat and force her to listen. Where I couldn’t make her submit.
My cock hardened just thinking about the way she walked away from me. I threw the blanket off me and stroked him. I could wait. She couldn’t stay in there forever.
The longer I heard the water run, the angrier I got. She was doing this shit on purpose. I’d decided to break the fucking door down just as the water finally shut off. A few minutes later, Indie opened the door and stepped into the room wearing a towel wrapped around her body.
She went to the bag of clothes Johnny had picked up and turned back toward the bathroom. I launched myself from the bed and grabbed her neck, slamming her against the wall.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“Getting dressed.”
“Behind the fucking door? Where I can’t watch you?”
I pushed my body against hers, letting the pre-cum dripping from the tip of my cock smear across her skin.
“If you’re leaving without me, you better get fucking used to it.”
She brought her arm up and pushed mine away, forcing me to release her throat. She spun around and slammed her elbow into my gut. The air in my lungs rushed out, and I expected my dick to deflate. It only pulsed as it got harder.
I shoved her face against the wall and crowded in behind her, trapping her arms above her head. I shoved into her from behind. The sound of her moan coursed through my body, and I almost came immediately.
“Fuck, I love it when you fight me.”
“But not enough to stay?” she asked as she backed against me, trying to force me to move.
“Stay fucking still.” I closed my eyes against the desire to come inside her already. God, I needed to get control of my damn body. She was too fucking hot. Too fucking tight.
She didn’t listen. Not anymore. After that first night, when I lost my virginity, it had been like this. She fought me for control, forced me to use her body for my pleasure. She told me that was how she got hers.
I didn’t want to use her this way. It felt too much like what I’d witnessed for years, but she promised me it was what she wanted. And I couldn’t ignore the fact that it was hot as fuck.
That was what made it so goddamn hard to stay in control and not explode the moment I felt her contract around me.
“You better enjoy this because it’s the last time you’ll ever fuck me,” she snarled.
I pulled back enough to leave her body before I flipped her around. “What the fuck are you talking about? I told you, you are mine.”
“If you leave, we’re done. I won’t put my life on hold.”
“You said you’d always be here. You wouldn’t leave me.”
Indie slumped against the wall; the moment was gone. She looked up at me, her eyes sad, as she said, “I’m not the one who’s leaving.”
I rested my forehead against hers. “You’re not safe. No one is safe if I’m there. He knows where I am now. He won’t stop coming for me.”
Her hands cradled my face as she looked into my eyes. “Hello? Trained assassin here.”
I smiled at her sass. She said it as though being an assassin was no big deal, but I knew she was still struggling with everything she’d learned.
“That’s why I need you to stay. I need you to protect Rose and Sam and the girls. I need you to protect my mother.”
“What you need is to tell King the truth. Let your brothers help you.”
“I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. I moved to the end of the bed to sit down. With my elbows against my knees, I held my head in my hands. “If they find out the truth, they’ll think I betrayed them. Hell, I did betray them.”
“How?”
“I joined under false pretenses. I was already in a club when I joined, and I lied to them.”
She sat down beside me; her hand rubbed my back as she tried to console me. “You didn’t have a choice.”
“You think that matters to them?”
“I think they love you. I think they respect you. Why would they make you an officer if they didn’t believe they could trust you?”
“That’s the point,” I argued. I dropped my hands and looked at her. Why couldn’t she understand? “They trusted me, and I lied to them over and over for almost six years. You really think they’ll just let that shit go?”
“Yes.”
“Indie.” I groaned in frustration.
“Give them a chance. If they want you gone, I’ll let you go, and I’ll stay and protect your family. And I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait until you find Dakota and kill him.”
“Why would you do that?” I asked, wondering if I could possibly love this woman more than I already did.
“Because I’m your old lady,” she answered, then smiled. “And I love you.”
“I love you so fucking much.” I slid to the floor and pushed her legs apart until I could fit between them. “I don’t want to leave you, but there is no one I trust more to protect the people I love.”
My arms went around her waist as I pressed my face against her belly. I breathed in her scent. Just the scent of her skin was enough to calm the storm inside me.
I kissed between her breasts before I placed my hand against her chest and pushed her back.
I pulled her legs over my shoulders and kissed the sensitive skin on the inside of each thigh.
I loved that spot. My teeth bit down, and I groaned when she cried out.
My cock was hard again, and he wanted to play.
He’d have to wait his turn, though. I licked the teeth marks I left behind and then let my tongue travel upward until I reached her center.
She looked down at me between her knees, and I smiled as I leaned forward and took her clit between my teeth. I didn’t know how long we had before Johnny would be banging on the door to get us going, but I was going to make her come as many times as I could before that happened.