Chapter 17 Quinn #2
I took a bite of the scone, which was buttery and filled with piping hot blueberries, as if it had just come out of the oven.
The cake I’d shared with Xan at the library came back to me.
Xan had said Ezra made it, but if the tall, dark, and stupidly hot mage could bake too, I was pretty sure I’d go back to believing none of this was real.
“I thought everyone got to choose what they did here?” I picked up a sausage and pointed it at him. “Why am I here instead of with medics? And why are you tutoring me? Your Majekah is healing, right? Mine’s the complete opposite.”
Xan took a delicate bite of fruit. I could almost see my questions compiling in his head as he thought.
Silence stretched. Both of us ate a few more bites and chewed, watching each other.
There was no way Ezra’s partner was just some random person, especially if the Architect had assigned Xan to tutor me.
Xan said he wanted information from Professor Holiday to impress the Architect.
Rowan didn’t avoid talking about Xan; he literally stopped talking whenever Xan’s name came up.
Xan was someone important to the Architect. My gut twisted. Had I been subtly steered into this friendship, too?
“What’s a tether?” Not the question I wanted to ask, but the one Ezra was sure Xan would answer.
Xan locked his baby-blue eyes with mine. I couldn’t read the conflict in them.
“A tether binds a man and a woman together,” Xan explained. “He can sense where she is, what she’s feeling. It makes him her protector, her shadow, and her anchor.”
I read between the lines. “It doesn’t work both ways.”
Xan threw up his hands, then clenched them into fists. “It does not. Nor does it work between two men.”
I suddenly understood his conflict. He wanted a tether with Ezra.
I felt like an ass. Xan had helped me, and now I was sitting here, being suspicious of everything, when he’d been super clear from the start.
He had engineered our first meeting. He even told me that because he wanted to fix things with his partner.
Xan took an uncomfortable breath. “Some men use the link as a leash. I hate it.” He swallowed. “But it’s how our world works.”
The three stabs of power in my back burned. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. Three sets of eyes flashed through my memory—coal black, hot orange, and Gandalf’s cool white.
I hadn’t gotten away. They’d left a piece of themselves inside of me. Hot tears welled in my eyes but didn’t fall. I dropped my gaze so Xan wouldn’t see them. “Can a tether be broken?”
“If the man who made it dies, so does the tether.” Tight anger laced his every word.
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but it was something.
I rubbed my back, suddenly desperate to scrub it over and over.
But the marks weren’t on my skin; they were ties to my very essence.
A wave of panic tried to overwhelm me again, and I pushed it away.
I’d been living like this for months. I just had to pretend, like if there was a spider in the room.
Out of sight, out of mind. I was fine. Totally. One hundred percent fine.
I finally looked up, only to find Xan’s usual expressive face as neutral as his lover’s.
I couldn’t ask about the stabs of power. Not yet. Instead, I asked, “Why does the Architect want me working with you?”
Xan leaned forward. “Because I’m powerful, Quinn.
I have unrestricted access to the Alun, which, after your almost explosion of the forge, it’s clear we desperately need.
And”—a blush destroyed his attempt to hide his expression—“I want to work with you.” Xan took a deep breath.
“When those men carried you out of that pit fight unconscious, I lost it.”
My breath caught in my throat. “You were there?”
“I was.” Xan reached across the table, and I slid my palm against his. “And I meant what I said, Quinn. You’re powerful and capable beyond what you know. I want to help you.” He squeezed my hand. “No. I need to.”
He released me and pulled a velvet box out of his pocket before standing to kneel in front of my chair. My heart raced. Bees stormed my gut, dizzy and electric. He opened the box and picked up a necklace.
“This is my promise, Quinn,” Xan said. “I’m going to teach you everything.
Not only how to control your power but also how to navigate this world.
You need to understand what families are in control of, how they work together, and what their goals are.
And at the end of this, if you want to walk away, all you do is hand it back.
No questions asked, and I’ll walk you through the gates. ”
The charm at the end glowed in the light streaming through the windows. The shape of a diamond surrounded a sleeping cat. I’d seen that crest before. It hung all over the castle. It was the Architect’s crest.
A tremor ran down my back, and I had to focus to keep my destructive powers from spilling forward.
“And if I want to keep it?” I asked.
Xan smiled. There was no doubt in my mind that he hoped that was what I’d do. “Then you wear it and let the world know you’re loyal to the Architect.”
I swallowed. “I spent this entire time assuming you’d married up. But, um, if you can make this promise, then maybe I’m wrong.”
“I can,” Xan promised. “If I’m lying, Ezra will cut off my balls and feed them to me.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That seems to be your go-to when you’re trying to get me to trust you.”
Xan shrugged. “If it still holds power, don’t tempt it.”
Magic. A new saying and maybe a new start? I focused on the pendant. The blurry shape of Ezra, standing at the door to the kitchen, caught my attention. How long had he been listening?
I couldn’t see any downside to this. I needed control over magic.
Clearly, a safe place to practice anything beyond the basics was essential if I wanted to avoid hurting anyone, especially my friends.
Money had been my first step toward independence, but it was only a small start.
Power, knowledge, anything I could get my hands on to defend myself was good, right?
If I took my coin and left today, I didn’t know where I’d go, but Xan was offering to teach me.
I could take it and run once I had a plan and control.
The pendant swung between us.
I pushed the chair back and kneeled, spinning so my back faced Xan. I pulled my still-damp hair off my neck and waited.
Xan let out a growl as guttural as his lover’s. My toes curled. The heat of his arms passed my ears before cool metal rested just above my breastbone, falling to the top of my cleavage. He locked the necklace clasp into place.
Gay, I reminded myself. And dedicated to the Architect. Everything he says must be viewed through that filter. Do not crush on the possibly evil teacher.
I stood and turned. “So, Knowledge Daddy, where do we begin?”
Xan turned bright red, and Ezra chuckled.
I wiggled my eyebrows and embraced the awkward moment.
Me. My life. My choices.