Chapter 19 Quinn
Quinn
An hour later, my body thrummed between Xan and Ezra, every nerve alive and sparking. Even without being touched, my nipples throbbed against Ezra’s tunic. I rolled my hips forward, desperate for friction.
But there was no relief here, at least not for me.
Our dance was silent, driven by body language and need. If I spoke, the moment might vanish. So I stayed quiet, breathing in the fantasy.
Xan shut the binder of scrawl and declared us done for the evening. He and Ezra vanished into the kitchen. Their impressively tented pants were hard to ignore. I heard a pot crash to the floor before the odd silence of a spell gave them privacy.
I’d never been in a long-term relationship, but I was familiar with the issues couples faced: losing their spark, falling into routines, or being too busy to spend time together.
Ezra clearly overworked himself. He hadn’t even had a chance to join us for dinner.
As much as I wanted them both to be interested in me, I was a tool, a crutch they leaned on to fix their own problems.
I wanted to see them in love again almost as much as I wanted control over my magic.
My body hummed with need, and a satisfied smile pulled at my mouth.
It’s not like getting them both turned on to spice up their partnership hurt me at all.
If anything, both their attention boosted my ego.
And that first moment when Ezra slid his hands so close to my center.
I swear I almost came just from his touch.
Why were all the hot ones gay?
I groaned and slinked off to the shower. Cold water helped settle my molten insides.
Names swirled in my head. I caught only fragments, but it was clear Xan dodged questions about my friends’ families. The Griersons remained a mystery. And the Lawsons, especially Cayden, were too private to trust rumors.
It was still a start.
I stepped out of the shower and looked at my green eyes, now swirling with prismatic crystal. Xan hadn’t mentioned the All-Important Architect once, which didn’t feel right.
Despite the cold shower, a wave of exhaustion hit me hard. With Ezra’s black tunic covering my upper body, I crawled back into the massive bed and passed out.
I woke early the next morning. Rain pattered against the window, and a chill filled the air. However, I was toasty warm, and not just from the blankets pulled up to my chin, but from the two bodies now sleeping on either side of me.
Ezra lay with his back to me, bare and still, his muscles mapped like a textbook. Each line of strength in perfect harmony. Xan faced me, one arm outstretched, the other gripping his forearm like he was holding himself back. Unlike Ezra, layers of blankets covered his lover. It was adorable.
I tried to get out of bed without waking either of them, but with my first movement, Ezra almost rolled on top of me, and Xan’s eyes opened.
Xan backed up; Ezra did not.
“Sorry, there’s only one bed,” Xan apologized.
I stuck a hand out. “But it could hold five. Not a big deal. I listen to Erick’s snores every night, and when he’s been drinking, they’re bad.”
Ezra grunted unhappily and rolled again, this time to the edge of the bed. He stood, back to me, with only a tiny pair of black boxers clinging to his fit butt.
I dropped my gaze and peeked at Xan to see if my ogling his guy bothered him, but he was too busy doing it as well.
“I guess maybe me talking about my roommate isn’t the best thing to start the day with,” I said, frowning at Ezra’s back.
“Well, no.” Xan chuckled. “But Ez hasn’t had coffee or exercise yet. Usually, he needs both before he wants to hear anything.”
I yawned. “Coffee. I’m with you on the coffee.”
Ezra vanished into the kitchen, and Xan sat up.
Like Ezra, he slept bare-chested. A little bit of man fuzz covered his chest and disappeared into the covers, pooling around his waist. Ezra was a walking anatomy chart, but there was something soft and intimate about Xan’s rumpled, warm chest that pulled me in.
He brushed his fingers across my hand, and goosebumps ran down my arm. “Did you sleep okay? Did we bother you?”
I gathered my scattered brains. “I slept great. You didn’t bother me at all. I really enjoyed our, ah, evening.”
I grinned, and heat rose to my cheeks. They’d thoroughly used me and worked me up to get to each other, and I’d loved it. I needed another cold shower just thinking about it.
Xan’s face fell, and my pulse plummeted. Dread overtook the spark he’d ignited.
I’d said too much or done too much. I’d been right just to keep quiet last night. How did I mess this up already?
The door to the kitchen opened, and Ezra came out with three coffees. He took one look at Xan, and all three coffees went down on the bedside table. He leaned against the bedpost; his arms crossed over his chest.
“We need to talk, Quinn,” Xan said quietly.
I shook my head. I didn’t want to.
“You already trusted me with your secret,” Xan continued.
My usual morning haze vanished instantly.
He rubbed his neck. “You’re from the past, as far as you can tell.”
“Yeah. I mean, I hadn’t, like, outright said that.” Nerves danced in my gut. My gaze flicked to Ezra, already feeling the dynamics of our little trio from last night shifting. “But I guess we can just put it all out there.”
“I need to put this out there.” Xan picked up my hand and put it between his. “Trust only comes from honesty, and I want your trust, Quinn.”
My first instinct was to say yes. But I held back.
“I’m the person who healed you.” Xan trembled. “And I had to tether you to do it.”
My first reaction was to laugh, so I did. “The Architect healed me, Xan… I don’t know how you…” I trailed off. My hand went to the necklace he had given me, which hung under my shirt.
Ezra’s impassive gaze bore down on me as if he could force the truth into my head with just his eyes. Opposite him, Xan curled in on himself, and his face turned into a blank mask. Even the usual glow of his eyes dampened.
I pulled my hand out from between his.
Xan only appeared in my life after the Architect woke. Everything about breaking into The Old Fortress had gone too smoothly. Once I found my magic, I’d literally been freed of every obligation because he—Xan, the Architect, the man who had helped me find it—commanded it.
I rubbed my lower back. “I can’t feel your tether.”
“You’re the first person I’ve ever tethered,” Xan admitted. “But the others aren’t fully formed. It’s possible you can feel them because they’re not complete.”
My stomach twisted. “You know about the others?” I sucked in a breath and put my hands over the sides of my head. “Did you read my mind? Are you doing it right now?”
Xan laughed bitterly. “I honestly wish I were. I live by a set of rules that keep me out of people’s heads, but no one believes me.”
I let go of my head and forced myself not to panic. Xan hadn’t read my mind, or if he had, he was terrible at it. But Xan was the Architect, who wouldn’t let rules hold him back. Right?
His words from the first day we met came back to me. ‘I often wish I were someone I’m not… and sometimes I want it so badly, I lie even to myself.’
My heart squeezed, and I looked into my friend’s baby blues. For a second, that line was a mirror. I saw myself in him. Once again, I found my reflection bracing for disappointment.
“The Architect trapped me in this castle!” I started violently shaking. “He trapped me here. Took my freedom and tried to shape my future, like I was just a vessel to grow his family.”
Xan clenched his fists. “Someone else’s words. Not mine. I never wanted any of that.” He hugged himself. “I just wanted to save your life. I made a split-second decision, and I wouldn’t change it.”
“You just wanted to save me?” I repeated. “Am I supposed to believe that?”
Ezra uncrossed his arms, and Xan put a hand on his forearm before he could speak.
“No. You’re right. I’m lying. I’m lying to myself even.
” Xan swallowed. “My family is small, but I have plans to expand as much and as many times as it takes. I want to make a haven for every outcast and misunderstood fool who needs a home.” Xan straightened his shoulders.
“And yes. Your power would add to my plans, and I saved you, hoping that you would join my ranks. But not expecting it.” Xan leaned forward and pulled his pendant out from under my tunic.
“Quinn, your life is your own. I meant every word when I gave this to you.”
The sound of my breathing rang in my ears. “You planned this. All of this.”
Xan released the pendant and rubbed his hands together. “Some of it, yes. I orchestrated our first meeting, though I never in a million years thought it would end with me stripping Horax of his pub and then breaking into my own ally’s home.”
The Architect raided The Rooster the day after I had breakfast with Xan.
“Did you raid The Rooster because of me?” I asked.
Xan nodded. “Horax owned that pub before I took the castle. I thought leaving it to him would build trust. Instead, he built a black hole, and I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”
“No one should go hungry in my castle.” His gaze bore into me. “You shouldn’t have gone hungry under my care. I’m fixing it.” He ran his hand through his hair. “We’ve just grown so fast. It’s long overdue for us to have a communal eating area that’s free for everyone.”
I bit my lips together. “You’ll have an answer for everything, won’t you?”
To my surprise, Xan nodded. “I will. It’s what I do, Quinn. I didn’t build this family from scratch by sitting. Right or wrong, I prod the world into action.”
“Like you did with Professor Holiday? You could have just walked in there. Why bother with the show?” I asked bitterly.