Mine

13. Pepper

THIRTEEN

PEPPER

It was well past six when I actually walked through my front door, dropped my purse to the floor, and headed straight to my kitchen for a glass of wine.

Fuck Jeff. Really, he was the root of all of my problems some days. The meetings had flown by, but then Jeff, being the entitled fucking twat he was, had gotten into it with Kendra. Kendra had then come to me about Jeff’s behavior, and I had to talk to Jeff.

Everyone was growing tired of his antics. Especially me.

I opened my fridge and pulled out a bottle of red wine. I was a heathen and liked my cabernets cold. A perk of living alone, I didn’t have a dumbass husband to judge me for twisting the top off and drinking it straight from the bottle. It didn’t matter how much money I had, I still liked a cheap red in the middle of a work week.

My eyes closed as the tannins hit my tongue and I sighed, trying to release whatever tension I could. I still needed to schedule a massage, a facial appointment, and a dress fitting for the awards show.

I needed to not be thinking about that damn voice message Salt sent me earlier.

“Fuck,” I mumbled, remembering I’d told him we’d call.

Why had I done that? Why couldn’t I tell him no? A firm, direct no? I wasn’t a stranger to telling men no, or even bossing them around, and yet…

The pulse between my thighs and the rush of heat across my skin told me I couldn’t just tell him no, because I wanted him. It didn’t matter that I’d just ordered every sex toy I could find that looked interesting, or had spent hours devouring articles about kink over the weekend, I wanted him.

“Twelve years,” I whispered to myself.

He was twelve years younger than me. I shouldn’t have anything to do with a twenty-five year old man, no matter how amazing he was in bed.

But I’d been missing out.

Married to Jeff for fifteen years, and he’d never made me come the way Salt had. It didn’t help that I’d been raised in a conservative Christian cult who taught me everything sexual was sinful. I’d gone into that marriage without ever having slept with anyone before. I’d never been able to explore that part of me. And when Jeff and I were married, every time I tried to try something new, I was shut down.

The shame I felt around my desire made my insides freeze. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me. It made me think about all the times my mother had chided me if I wasn’t dressed perfectly or if I asked too many questions.

I’d done so much work around trying to heal from my childhood, but I’d never be perfect.

Fuck, it was so stupid. It was so, so stupid. A hard, bitter shell formed around my memories of my childhood, and every day I was glad I left. But I also wished that I could have saved my relationship with my parents. With my mom.

I glanced at the calendar on my fridge and took another swig of wine.

Her death day was coming up.

I needed to cancel any plans that came up the day before or after it. It’d been years since she died, but the guilt and pain and sadness that swallowed me whole during those days meant I wouldn’t get out of bed for anything but to visit her grave and grab food orders from my doorstep.

Jeff used to give me such a hard time about it. He didn’t at first, of course. But over the years, her death was something that annoyed him.

My grief was annoying.

Why did I ever allow myself to be with someone who treated me that way?

And why wouldn’t I pursue the type of sex I’d experienced on Friday night? With someone who wanted me for whatever reason?

As if I’d summoned him, my phone chimed on the counter. I stared for a moment and then reached forward. He was video calling.

“Shit,” I whispered.

My finger pressed the button before I let my logic get in the way.

Salt’s unbearably handsome face appeared on my phone. His dark hair was tousled and he was clearly shirtless. Just like in his damn videos online. Inked vines crawled up his throat, disappearing around his neck.

“Are you in bed?” I blurted out.

He grinned. “Yeah. And you’re in your kitchen.”

I decided to take another sip from my wine bottle, my body tensing as I expected him to chide me. Instead his smile grew broader.

“Next time I’m over, I’ll lick that off your body.”

I choked and dropped the phone on the counter before I spit all over it. His soft laugh followed as I coughed over my sink, cursing him. “God damn it,” I grunted.

Well, I’d failed at being sexy. My ego was dead to the entire world.

“ Baby, come back ,” he sang. “ You can blame it all on me… ”

I put the wine back in the fridge, done with it after that, and picked up my phone again. “You’re a nuisance. Also, that song is almost fifty years old. I’m shocked you even know it.”

“Well, I do have good taste in music,” he said. “At least, that’s what I’ve been told.”

“Hmm.” I smiled as I carried the phone to my bedroom. “I don’t know why you wanted to see me. You can have anyone you want. All the women who were at the bar on Friday would have thrown themselves at your feet.”

“I don’t want just anyone. I want you.”

“You’re like a puppy,” I muttered.

“Mm, yes. Keep insulting me, I’ll keep it in mind tomorrow when you’re on your knees for me again.”

My breath hitched as I looked at him. There was that charisma again. Why was I being so stupid? All artists were like this. They had to be. Having that sort of charm helped their careers—it kept listeners addicted to them. Even the fantasy that Salt might look their way and want them was enough to keep them crawling back for more.

They were hungry for scraps.

I wasn’t any different, was I? And I wasn’t just hungry, I was starving.

A video call had been a bad idea.

“Tell me about your day,” he said.

I breathed out slowly. “Why? It was boring…”

“Do you usually drink wine immediately after boring ?”

I snorted and winced, looking around. I wanted to get in bed, but I needed to change.

Did I tease him?

Was I even brave enough to do that? What am I doing? Why can’t I just stop this madness?

I had a hang-up when it came to my body. I loved watching other people who were comfortable in their own skin. But it was hard for me at times, especially in sexual situations. I always found ten different reasons as to why I was doing something wrong, and then my mind attached to that and spiraled.

“What are you scowling about?” he asked gently.

“I was going to change,” I said. “Then I thought about teasing you. But…”

He sat up, frowning as he studied me, his acute attention making my skin prickle. “But what?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I always feel like I’m bad at this stuff. It’s stupid that someone my age would even feel like this. Like I’m not new to sex, but…”

“You’re overthinking it,” he said.

“Probably. That’s what Ellen would say.”

“Who’s Ellen?”

“My best friend and assistant.”

His lips tugged. “Ellen would be right. Do you want my help, Pepper?”

“How?” I bit out. “You’re on the other side of Nashville.”

“I could tell you what to do. With your consent, of course.”

“ Dominate me? That’s what you are when you’re not signing, right? A Dom?” I asked, thinking about all the terms I’d learned.

Salt lifted a brow. “Someone’s been reading, hmm?”

I nodded. And I’d be a damn liar if I didn’t admit I liked the sound of praise in his tone. It stroked something deep inside me. “I read a lot over the weekend.”

“How very voracious of you.”

I couldn’t fight my stupid smile this time. This was flirting wasn’t it? The light banter, the teasing. I was rusty at it, but I liked how it made me feel.

Did I want Salt to dominate me again?

Yes. The thought was immediate and resounding.

“To answer your question, yes,” he said. “I am a Dom. And I’m not just saying that. I’ve been in the kink community for the last five years, and I’ve learned from the best. When I’m not playing music, I’m building sex furniture.”

“ Sex furniture?” I echoed, bewildered.

“Yes. With my…” he trailed off and hummed. “She’s sort of my adoptive mom. That’s the best way to describe her. But it’s not weird that we build sex furniture together.”

“Interesting,” I chuckled. “Well, she sounds fun.”

“She is,” he said, his tone softening. “I just want you to know that I’m not just some twenty-year-old telling you I know how to be a Dom. I have the classes and experience to back it up.”

I studied him, and he seemed to mean it. I’d gotten pretty good at spotting bullshit over the years, and his words were genuine. “Do you have other submissives?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “Not currently. I do occasionally play with others if I’m in the mood for it, but typically in public settings. I also don’t usually mix penetrative sex and kink.”

“Really?” I asked curiously. “Why?”

“Most of the time, my focus is on my submissive’s pleasure. I like making people come. I like giving them orgasms. It satisfies me.” He smiled. “I think you made me realize that it’s fun to mix the two, though.”

I couldn’t help it, I bit my bottom lip. “I think you ruined me. I bought a lot of sex toys online today.”

His eyes brightened. “Really?”

“Yes,” I sighed.

“If you need recommendations, let me know,” he said lightly.

“I will…” I trailed off and then took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. This is a bad idea. Bad, bad idea. But— “Salt?”

“Yes?”

“Will you dominate me?”

“Yes,” he answered. “I’d be honored to. I’ve been thinking about you non-stop since Saturday morning.”

“I’ve been thinking about you too,” I admitted.

“Did you learn more about safe words?”

I nodded. “Yes. Red means stop. Yellow means slow. Green is go.”

“Good girl,” he praised, his deliciously deep voice making me shiver. “Find a place to set your phone down so I can still see you.”

“Okay.” I took my phone to my dresser and balanced it on top, using a bottle of perfume to help prop it up. Now, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I grimaced, folding them together in front of me.

“Are you nervous?”

“Yes.” I bit the inside of my mouth hard, my nerves rattling.

“Pepper. Look at me.”

I did look at him.

“Good.” Even through the phone, his gaze was unnerving. “I want you to undo the tie on your pants. The big ribbon.”

“Okay,” I mumbled.

I was wearing high waisted pants with a fabric sash I’d tied into a bow. I undid the knot and gave it a tug.

“Good. Turn around.”

My mouth was dry. I needed more wine.

“Focus on me. On my voice. On my commands.”

I closed my eyes, my heart thumping as I turned around, my cheeks hotter than irons.

“Very good. Now slowly pull your dress pants down.”

Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m doing this. Why was I trusting him? Why was I doing this? Despite my thoughts, I slowly eased my pants down, bending over and becoming painfully aware of the panties I wore. They were black and high waisted, good for working out or being at the office—not for stripping in front of a hot Dom.

My hot Dom.

“Good.” His praise eased my worries. “God, you’re fucking gorgeous. If I were there right now, I’d bury my face between your sweet thighs. Stand up and turn to face me.”

My entire body was on fire. I turned around slowly and faced him, knowing I was going too far, but craving this connection more than anything.

“Very good.” Salt cocked his head. “Take off your shirt.”

I held his gaze as I reached for the hem, tugging it over head. Now, I was just wearing a bra and panties for him.

“How do you feel?” he asked gently.

“Vulnerable,” I whispered. “Embarrassed.”

“Do you want to know how you make me feel?”

I nodded, my throat constricting.

“Just seeing you standing there has made me so fucking hard, I feel like I could come at any moment. You’re beautiful. Absolutely fucking gorgeous. I want you to take off your bra and panties.”

“Do I have to?” I asked.

“You don’t have to do anything.”

I narrowed my eyes on him. That felt like a trap. Salt gave me a slow, teasing smile.

“You want to, though. Don’t you? You want to please me. And you want to be admired, even if you’re feeling unsure.”

He was right, damn it.

I reached around and unclasped my bra, throwing it to the floor like I was ripping a bandaid off. I expected him to laugh or something , but he just watched me. My heart raced faster as I stripped out of my panties too, now fully naked in front of him.

“Good job, Pepper,” he praised. “Move your hands away from your breasts. Put them behind your back. Come closer.”

I hadn’t even realized I was covering them. I clasped my hands behind my back and stepped closer to my phone. Cool air caressed my body, my skin prickling.

Salt let out a soft grunt. “Fuck. Look at you. I like it when you’re this obedient for me.”

“You could do this with anyone,” I said quietly. “Anyone you wanted. Someone closer to your age.”

“I don’t want anyone else. I want you . I want to see you naked in front of me, taking my cock. Coming undone like my perfect little slut. I want you , Pepper. Take the phone to your bed and kneel in the center, knees wide. Prop your phone against a pillow so I can see you.”

“Okay.” I picked up the phone, wrinkling my nose at him. “I don’t understand you.”

“What about me?” he teased.

“Nothing,” I muttered, climbing onto my bed.

I messed with my abundance of pillows, blushing as I realized I was just letting everything hang out. Completely naked, on all fours, trying to set up a phone so he could watch me.

My body was my body, I reminded myself. If I were on the other end of this phone call, wouldn’t I be admiring the person in front of me? I knew I would be, and yet I couldn’t find a shred of confidence at being the one naked. Why am I like this?

“Pepper,” Salt said softly. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“I’m just thinking that you could put me in front of a boardroom of men who hate me, and I wouldn’t feel this way,” I said, finally getting the phone to stay put. “I’ve given countless talks over the years. I’ve met with high-profile celebrities and people in the industry who have far more experience than I do, but it’s never mattered. I’ve always excelled under pressure. I change lives with a single signature on paper. I’ve found artists who were poor, with nothing but their talent, and helped them grow a career. I’ve done things that infuriate other people in the industry, like giving my artists health insurance, and making sure they have stable income during the process of recording. And yet, I feel stupid right now. I feel so silly.”

“What is silly about this?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I was married for a long time, you know.”

“You’ve mentioned,” he said seriously. “But he never appreciated you the way you should have been appreciated.”

“He never made me orgasm.”

“ Ever ?”

“Ever,” I whispered. “I really thought I was doing something wrong. I’d read a romance book and wonder why I wasn’t having the same mind-blowing orgasms that the characters were having. Or I’d watch porn and think they had to just be acting right? That couldn’t be real.”

“I promise you it can be. What about touching yourself?” Salt asked.

“I mean, I have…”

“And have you made yourself orgasm?”

“Yes,” I said. “Of course. I’m not completely incompetent.”

“This isn’t about being incompetent,” he said. “Nothing about this is something you can be a boss about, Pepper. You can’t be the CEO of orgasms. Well, maybe you could…”

Despite the raw ineptitude I felt, I laughed. “I’ll add it to my list of life goals.”

He smirked. “Add having a hot Dom who wants to fuck you every day to that list too. Since you always get what you want.”

I narrowed my eyes on him. “You don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, either.”

“It depends.” He relaxed against his bed, holding his phone above so I could see his chest and abs. “Pepper?”

“Yes?”

“I want you to sit back with your knees spread and touch yourself. Show me how wet you are. Right now.”