28. Pepper
TWENTY-EIGHT
PEPPER
I slept in for the first time in years. Sunlight filtered through the curtains, and based on how bright it was, I knew that it was well past ten a.m.
Thankfully, I’d planned to take an extra day off. The original reason was because of my mother’s death date, but this felt like a much better reason to not show up to work.
Every muscle ached. There was no way I would've been able to go to work today. I wasn't exactly sure what time Salt and I got home, but my entire body was sore. My asscheeks, pussy, thighs.
I loved it.
I loved the pain.
There was something deeply satisfying about knowing I could still feel what Salt and I did last night.
I’d read about subspace. A headspace that could happen for the submissive in a scene, and was often described as pure bliss. I barely remembered how the two of us got back to the apartment last night, all I knew was that he’d taken care of me. He’d brought me home and then we’d eaten grilled cheese, showered, and snuggled.
I’d fallen asleep next to him so easily. I’d even dreamed about him, although I wasn’t sure exactly what about. I just knew that his presence was so intertwined into my being, I could feel him in the cells of my blood. The marrow of my bones. And I didn’t want to change a thing.
Salt’s arm was draped over me, his body warm against mine. I stirred against him, blinking slowly, drifting in and out of sleep.
Last night came flooding back. I thought about all of the things I’d seen at the club. Seeing so many people who were able to be open sexually without shame had healed a part of me.
Being with Salt had healed a part of me too.
Being trapped in the pillory was something I wanted to try again. Really, there were so many things I wanted to try. But maybe when my muscles weren’t so sore.
I didn’t want to hide anymore. That was the thing that was changing inside of me. For years, I’d been hiding parts of myself, but now that they’d seen the light, they hungered to be in the open. I wasn’t sure I could go back to how I was before discovering these parts of myself. And there was still so much to learn, too.
Last night was something I would never forget. All of the pain and anger and sadness I’d felt over the weekend about my mother dulled. And not that what we’d done together was a fix or anything—it surely wasn’t—but it had helped me see that there was more out there for me.
I didn’t have to be what Jeff told me I was. Or anyone else, for that matter.
Salt stirred next to me. He was warm and comforting. I wished this could be us every morning, and not just today.
At least I didn’t have to return to reality until tomorrow.
Salt let out a soft hum, his arm tightening around me.
“Morning,” I whispered.
“Morning, baby,” he murmured. He pressed his face against the top of my head, peppering gentle kisses. “How are you feeling?”
“Sleepy. Lazy. Sore,” I said. I turned, rolling my body so that I faced him. I pressed my face against his chest and wound my arms back around him. “What are we doing today? Do you have to go anywhere?”
“I’m all yours,” he said. “Maybe I can cook breakfast for you.”
He had a morning voice. God, I felt… stupid. I felt silly. But not in a way that made me feel ashamed. I couldn’t stop smiling, enjoying the croak of his tone. His voice was so deep, sending a shiver through me. His hand settled behind my head, gently massaging the base of my neck as we relaxed against each other.
“A slow morning sounds nice,” I said. “I don’t remember the last time I slept in.”
“Mm.”
“You probably wake up next to a lot of people.” Where the fuck did that come from? It was the pesky self-doubts. The insecurities. All raising their ugly heads to ruin everything.
Salt grabbed a fistful of my hair, forcing me to look up at him. “When are you going to get it into your head that I don’t want someone other than you? Yes, I’m a whore. I like sex.” He rocked his hips and my eyes widened as I felt his cock against me, hard already. “I’ve been in orgies. I’ve fucked and been fucked and I love it all, but none of it comes close to the way you make me feel. I can do all of that with you. I want to do all of that with you. But I need you to trust me when I tell you that I only want you.”
Fuck . “I’m sorry. I’m having a hard time understanding why you want me out of all people. And it’s not fair to you, but it’s a hard mindset to break.”
“Don’t let that little voice put words in my mouth. Please,” he said, his lips pressing against my forehead. “Sex and intimacy don’t go hand in hand for me all of the time. I can spank someone and not think anything of it the next day. But one kiss with you and I feel like I’m losing my mind. The last week without you was torture.”
It’d been for me too.
I’d missed him.
My hair fell forward as I sat up slightly and studied him. I felt a choice looming, and for once, I was going to choose myself.
Emboldened by what I knew to be true, I decided I was going to choose us.
“I’m going to tell them about us.”
Salt’s eyes widened. “Rosethorn?”
“Yes.” A weight lifted off my chest and I flopped back down onto the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. It felt right. It felt scary, but right. “They’re going to judge me. And I don’t know what will happen. But, we’ll get you signed, and then I’ll tell them.”
“You can keep me a secret?—”
“I don’t want to.”
He propped himself up, his throat bobbing. “I don’t want any of this to hurt you, Pepper. And you have more to lose than me.”
“That’s not true,” I said. “You have a career ahead of you in music. I know that we will be able to help get you to where you want to be. And I want that. It’s why I started Rosethorn to begin with. I can’t sing or play guitar or do anything musically to save my life. But I can help artists live their dreams. I can give them the chance to make beautiful music. And that’s what we’re going to do with you.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I’m tired of being perfect,” I whispered. “I’m tired of caring what other people think of me. And don’t I deserve to be happy?”
“I think you do.”
I’d been going back and forth a lot about everything, but just saying that I would tell everyone on the team lifted a weight off my shoulders. “Also, I don’t think you’re a whore…”
Salt snorted. “It’s a badge I wear honorably. Although, if you tell everyone about us, it’ll tarnish your reputation. Won’t it?”
“Maybe…” I trailed off as I slid my hand down between us, sucking in a breath as I felt him. “I don’t think I care what they think of me.”
“It’ll just make you more eccentric,” he teased, thrusting his hips. His cock was hard and hot against my palm. “The beautiful rich woman with her pet. Meanwhile, we both know who you get on your knees for.”
My lips tugged. “You have a good point.”
“I always do,” he said. “What should I cook for breakfast?”
My brain short circuited as I looked down at his cock. He was still hard. “I want you .”
“You’ll have me later.”
“But you’re…”
“I’m what?”
I knew he was teasing me. I blushed as I tore my gaze from the veins along his cock, taking in his tattoos and muscles and the way he looked at me like I was everything.
“You’re hard,” I whispered.
“And?”
I licked my lips. “Can I help you with it?”
“Not yet.”
I pouted as he rolled off me and then the bed. He stretched with a slow groan. We’d both slept naked, which I became fully aware of as he looked me over appreciatively.
“I have robes,” I said. “If we want to remain… accessible.”
He arched a brow playfully and turned. There were two silk robes hung up. I usually alternated between them throughout the week. One of them was lilac and the other black.
Salt surprised me by choosing the lilac one. He winked as he pulled it around himself and then left the bedroom. I immediately sat up, shaking my head.
Bruises marred my skin. My ass ached. And I loved it all. Every single part of it. I traced one on my thigh and then kicked the blanket all the way to the foot of the bed, smiling to myself.
Stupid, stupid choices.
But I felt happy.
And that made it worth whatever trouble might come our way.