36. Salt
THIRTY-SIX
SALT
Dinner wasn’t a disaster. In fact, by the time it was time for us to go, I had to practically cart Pepper out the front door. I knew Beth would love her, but even Nancy was a goner.
It wasn’t a surprise, though.
“Drive safe,” Nancy said as she walked me to the car. Pepper was already in the front seat of my Honda, being cute and tipsy. “Text us when you get home.”
“I will,” I said. “Thank you for dinner.”
“Of course. Come over again soon,” she said. She lingered for a moment and then drew in a deep breath. “You’re both diving in headfirst.”
“We are,” I agreed.
“Just make sure you take care of yourself. It’s easy to make a lot of stupid decisions when you love someone.”
“We’re being careful,” I murmured, glancing back at the car.
“She’s risking a lot. So are you.”
“It’ll be worth it.”
Nancy nodded, and I knew there was more she wanted to say. But she didn’t. Instead, she gave me a quick hug and started toward the front door where Beth waited. “Night,” she called.
“Good night.”
I waved at Beth and then got into the front seat, starting up my car. I glanced over at Pepper and beamed.
“I love them,” she sighed happily. “They’re so sweet. Dinner was amazing. Thank you.”
“Thank you for coming with me,” I said. “Ready to sleep?”
“Mmm, maybe.” There was a hint of mischief in her voice. “You mentioned you have a surprise for me tomorrow.”
“I do,” I said.
I’d been planning a scene over the last few days. And since we’d be at my house, we would be using the garage. I’d set everything up already.
“What’s the surprise?”
“Surprises are surprises,” I said as I pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. “We’ll get some good rest tonight. And you’ll find out tomorrow.”
The drive back to my house went by fast. Pepper dozed off, which wasn’t a surprise. The longer I knew her, the more I wondered how she didn’t nap all the time. Her brain was always going.
Not that mine was much different.
The neighborhood was quiet for a Friday night. It was nicer now than it was a few years ago. I parked in the drive and got out quietly, going around to the passenger side. I opened the door and leaned in, unbuckling her.
Pepper’s eyes slowly opened and she gave me an easy smile in the dark. “Hey,” she whispered.
“Hey.”
I kissed her softly. Her arms wound around my neck, and I scooped her against me, lifting her and kicking the door shut behind me. She giggled as I carried her up the sidewalk and to the front door, letting us inside.
Bringing her here felt like taking her into my past. But in all the darkness, she was a beacon, and instead of worrying—I felt comforted by her presence.
“It's not as nice as your place,” I said, setting her down.
She wobbled for a second, but then regained her balance, looking around the living room.
“This is where you grew up?”
“Yeah,” I said.
Pepper took a few steps away as she took it all in. I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin, like she was seeing a part of me that I kept private.
“I want to sell it soon,” I said. “It reminds me too much of him. The only reason I've been here is because it has a garage and that's good for band practice, plus it is paid for. I've just had to pay utilities and taxes.”
She nodded. “I know someone who could help you get it on the market, if you want.”
I thought about it. I’d been dragging my feet about it all. But maybe it was time to move on.
In my life, there were a few moments of big change. In the past, I could distinctly pick out those instances as they were happening, and I could feel it now. Like I was standing on the edge of a cliff with invisible wings, not entirely sure of myself or if I’d make it.
Maybe Pepper was my wings.
“I’m curious to see what surprise you have for me…”
“Well, there are perks of having a garage.”
“I can buy a house with a garage.”
I raised a brow, she looked up at me with a smile.
Was she asking what I thought she was asking? Or insinuating that?
Pepper winced. “Sorry. I’m probably moving too fast. I'm probably also making assumptions.”
“I mean, all you said was that you could buy a house with a garage.”
“Right.” She made a face, her cheeks rosy.
My smile pulled into a laugh. “We’ll revisit whatever idea you have brewing after I sell the house. Good?”
“Yes.”
I kissed her forehead gently. Her hands slid into mine and she stepped back, leading me into the living room. When I redecorated the place, it’d really just become a space to hold all of the vinyl records I’d collected over the last few years. A record player sat on top of a thrifted hutch with six shelves, all full of albums. My taste in music varied greatly, so it was a collection that bounced between Frank Sinatra, AC/DC, Marina and the Diamonds, various folk artists, and god knew what else.
“You’ve collected so much.” Her hands fell away as she turned to read the names on the sleeves.
“I have,” I said. “I like the way record players sound.”
She nodded eagerly. “The superior listening method. What do you want to listen to?”
“You pick.”
Pepper hummed to herself as she perused the shelves. Eventually, she plucked one out and held up the album. Miles Davis, Kind of Blue. She carefully slid it out of the sleeve and lifted the transparent top on the player, pressing the lever that lifted the needle. She lowered it to the outer edge and pressed play. Soulful jazz filled the living room and chased away all the nightmares that lingered.
She shut the lid, then turned to face me, holding out her hand. “Dance with me?”
“Of course,” I said.
Our palms slid against each other, fingers intertwining as I tugged her close. It felt natural to have her in my arms and to start swaying. My chin rested on top of her head, eyes drifting shut as her presence enveloped me. This was far more nerve-wracking than being in a room full of music industry reps. Dancing with Pepper had butterflies fluttering in my chest, completely bewitched by her.
As the song ended, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head before murmuring, “I like thinking about the future. What do you want your future to look like?”
“After my fumble, I think you go first,” she chuckled nervously.
I snorted. “That wasn’t a fumble.”
But, I thought about it. What I wanted for myself. For us. I closed my eyes again as we gently moved, soaking in the gentle sound of the crooning trumpet.
“I want it to look just like this,” I whispered. “But not in a house of bones. Somewhere new, somewhere I can build the life I want.”
“A home.”
I nodded as her ear pressed against my chest.
“I want a place for music. A place to play my guitar and sing. A nice kitchen to make meals in for someone I love.” I squeezed her hand lightly. “I want a place to come home to between shows around the world.”
“Mmm. Yes. I want a place where I can escape everything else. I miss listening to music the way I used to.”
“I still want to write you a song.”
She shook her head with a soft laugh. “You don't need to do that.”
I did need to do that. The idea of writing a song for her had possessed me. Eventually, the lyrics and music would come tumbling out. “Where do you see your future, Pepper? What do you want?”
“Well, I also want a home. I want to sell my apartment and get a place that's a little further from work. I want to be a better friend to Ellen. I want Jeff to be fired so I don’t have to keep… dealing with him.”
I frowned, worried he’d done something more. “Did something else happen?”
“No,” she said quickly. “No. Nothing to worry about. But, I want to stop making Rosethorn in my entire life. And I want you. I want you in it. However you end up fitting, I just know I want you there.”
“I want you in mine too.”
With that confession between us, we continued dancing, moving together slowly around the room. Where our words were silent, the feel of our bodies and the music binding us together echoed.
When we did tell everyone, I knew it might initially make things tougher. But whatever came our way, I was ready. It was hard to see past what was in front of us, but dreaming about it helped. “I want to win Ellen over outside of the meeting room,” I said. “Since she's your best friend.”
Pepper made a noise. “She may not like you at first.”
“That's fine,” I said. “I’ll win her over. Who else do I have to win over?”
“Dan. Tommy's husband.”
“I can do that,” I said. “Easy. I know Tommy likes me.”
“He likes you for the company—it may take a little longer to win him over otherwise. He's known me for a really long time, and he still thinks of me as prudish and perfect,” she said.
“Well, if he's known you for a long time, he should know that you're full of surprises.”
She smiled against my chest. “You're right. I plan to talk to him soon, but things have been a little tense. And unfortunately, I just don’t think you and I are good at hiding things.”
We certainly weren’t. “It'll be worth it.”
I believed it would be. But then again, maybe I was being selfish. I knew that our personal relationship wasn't necessarily influencing our business relationship, but I didn't want either one of us to feel obligated to work together in that way.
“Are you sure you want me?” I asked.
Pepper’s head snapped up, her gaze meeting mine. “Of course I want you. Have I made you doubt that?”
“I just worry that you feel like you have to give me a chance with your record label because you… like me.”
She shook her head. “I believe in your music. I think that you are talented, and that you’re exactly what we’re looking for. And none of that has anything to do with how much I like you. I would've taken you on even if there wasn't anything between us.”
I could hear the difference when she slipped into business mode. And maybe that helped me believe her.
Her gaze melted from cold to dreamy. “I promise you that whatever happens between us, Rosethorn will still be good for you.”
I believed her.
I just hoped that I could always be good for her, too.