Chapter 2 #3
By the time I got to the store Niema was there and so was her fine ass brother who I spent the better half of my day talking to.
North was handsome to say the least, but I was a little leery of him because at the end of the day he was a man.
He claimed that he wanted to get to know me because I intrigued him, but what did that actually mean?
I wasn’t really up for wasting my time on men.
Nothing against North, but I was raised by men, so I knew for a fact they really weren’t worth the hassle.
Even when I was with Argus, I expected the very minimum because my whole life after my mother left all I saw was woman after woman.
My father didn’t even try to keep a bitch, instead the old player would just tell me to never be like the females that he kept company with.
Then honestly, I thought my brother would be different, but Knoxx’s first love was the streets so no woman could compete with that and anyone who tried was a damn fool.
Okay so maybe I was coming off a bit cynical, but I couldn’t help it.
My thinking and processing came purely from what I was surrounded by.
My environment molded my mind. Of course, I wanted to believe in love, but I had no examples of it in my life.
Men never stepped up and women always over romanticized situations in their heads.
“Good morning, Niema and North.” I smiled in their directions before I walked into the store that had already been open for at least three hours before I got here. I was horrible in the morning, so I always had somebody there for the morning shifts.
North nodded in my direction while Niema gave me the biggest smile.
“Good morning.”
I nodded my head. “You can put your things in the third locker in the back room and meet me right here. Erica, show her the lockers.”
While they both filed to the back I turned around and looked up at North. He looked refreshed after falling asleep on the phone with me last night. That was absolutely a first for me and I couldn’t help but think it was cute.
He put his weight on the counter in front of me before he smirked. “You never told me if you were going to let me change your mind about romance.”
I smiled somewhat recalling our conversation last night where my opinion on romance and all of that came up. He and I had been talking ever since we met at his bar. With him conversation was easy, and he seemed alright. I couldn’t say it for sure because we’d only been talking for a little while.
“I think I did, but you fell asleep.”
He chuckled. “Look at you got my grown ass falling asleep on a fucking phone. You're gonna get me clowned.”
I couldn’t help but join in on his laughter. “If it makes you feel any better, I fell asleep as well.”
He waved me off. “You got plans for tomorrow night?”
“No, I don’t. What did you have in mind?”
“You let me worry about that and just make sure you’re ready.” The smirk on his face couldn’t be missed.
He and I talked for a little while longer before he left, and I pressed on into my day.
Turns out Niema had known much more than I thought, which meant she had retained knowledge from her previous job.
That was a plus for me. All she had to do was get acclimated with my price points and system then she’d be okay.
After a while Erica left Niema and I to talk and get to know one another.
I already knew some of her story from her brother, but from her point of view it was heartbreaking.
What her brother didn’t know was that she did long to one day meet her mother or even have one, but she was grateful for all that he did for her.
You could tell when she talked about her brothers that they were everything to her and that made me smile thinking about Knoxx.
We had a similar relationship. I also disclosed to her that I grew up without a mother too, so I knew how it felt and even told her that she could call me if she ever needed anything.
With children I always seemed to have a bleeding heart, but it was the adults that I had pressure for.
By closing time, I had already bonded with the young girl.
After I locked up, we exited the store just as an unknown woman walked up.
“You ready to go, Niema?” she asked with a smile.
Niema rolled her eyes but nodded her head. Whoever this was she damn sure wasn’t feeling.
“I’m sorry, where are my manners? I’m Toy, North’s girlfriend. He sent me to pick her up because he got tangled up at work.”
I nodded politely. “Great.”
“I’ll have Surah send you your schedule, Niema.
” I smiled at the teen then dragged myself to my car.
I knew that nigga was too good to be true.
What type of game was he running? He had his girlfriend come up to my spot like he wasn’t just in my fucking face and text messages this morning.
This was exactly what I meant when I said niggas weren’t shit.
They could come off so damn genuine but be deceiving yo’ ass the whole time.
By the time I was settled into my car, I noticed that I had missed a call from Argus. What the hell was the reason for him to be calling me when my son was with my father?
Of course, I clicked his contact and called him back because it could’ve been an emergency.
“Where are you, baby mama?” he asked as soon as he picked up.
“Just leaving the shop. What’s up?”
“Pull up on me.”
I laughed. “And why would I do that?”
He chuckled as well. “Because I asked nicely and it’s something important that I need to talk to you about.
” At first, he sounded like he was in a joking mood, but the sudden seriousness in his tone made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
I still cared about him, because at the end of the day we had Messiah, so of course I was naturally worried.
“I’m not pulling up on no block, Argus.”
“I already know that. Pull up to the pool hall on Mason. Park in the back. Big G should be right there waiting on you.”
“What the fuck is going on, Argus?”
“Please, lil’ one,” he begged. His stubborn ass didn’t do that often, so I knew something was up.
“Fine.” After I hung up with him, I pulled out of the parking lot and drove in the direction of where he wanted me to meet him. I also dialed my father and let him know that I’d be running late. He said that it was cool because my baby was knocked out anyway.
When I pulled up where he told me to pull up, I did as he asked, right before meeting G’s big ass at the door.
“You too bourgeois to be hanging out with the fam, lil’ Nard?” Big G always called me lil’ Nard because around these parts everybody knew my father. Just because he wasn’t in the streets anymore didn’t mean his legend didn’t ring bells.
“It isn’t even like that. I just work a lot.” I followed him further into the empty pool hall.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Immediately my eyes focused on Argus seated in the booth by himself under the dim light.
When I rounded the area, I saw that he had a bottle of Jameson in front of him and a single cup.
Something was wrong, but I was too afraid to ask.
Instead, I slid into the booth across from him and just looked at him.
He was a shell of himself, and it didn’t take for me to look him in his eyes to see that.
After a while he finally looked up at me.
“Should’ve probably listened to you when Ssiah was born.
Told you I ain’t want to live check to check or work for nobody and I meant that.
Street shit gets addictive, then when it gets you right where it wants you everything goes wrong.
Built me up and made me feel invincible but the game is rigged, and no nigga is meant to make it out alive unless they get out too soon and regret it. I got cocky and fu—”
“Stop talking in riddles, Argus. What’s wrong?”
“I gotta fall on my sword, because I got too cocky out here.” We locked eyes and immediately I knew what he meant, but I still had to ask.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You’re going to take me to turn myself in right after I finish this bottle. You ain’t gonna cry, because you knew this shit was coming. In a few days you’ll receive some paperwork with all my investments and everything else.”
“Argus.” He was talking too fast, and my brain was no longer comprehending what he was saying.
“I always thought you was going to come back to me, but I fucked around and gotta leave before you can.” He shook his head.
“How long?”
“Two counts of life.” The moment that word came out of his mouth I felt my heart fall into my stomach.
Life.
“They only give life if yo—”
“Deal went bad. It was a setup. I had to get out of there, so I popped them and didn’t think shit of it until I got picked up and those motherfuckers claim I killed two undercovers. I gotta fall on the sword, so I won't take my organization down with me.”
I shook my head, willing my tears to stay in my lids. “And you’re still protecting the very streets that are sending you away.”
“Nah. I'm sending me away. I know what I did.”
“What am I supposed to tell our son?” I looked him in his eyes and the tears that I had been holding began to fall. The strongest bitches cried the realest tears.
“I saw him this morning at yo’ pop crib. You tell him the truth and don’t let that lil’ nigga follow in my footsteps no matter how hard he fights you on it. Knoxx knows what’s up, so he’s got you. Be looking out for that paperwork.”
“Run.”
“I thought of that, but you know I ain’t the type. I’m a hood booger baby mama. Now come drop me off.” He finished off the cup in front of him.
I thought Argus and I were finished for real when I walked away from him before I had Ssiah, but I was wrong.
We were finished the moment I watched him surrender himself to the very institution that had not only taken the life of his grandfather, but also that of his father.
Argus was in these streets alone way before we met, and way after.
When I gave him an ultimatum back then I was attempting to interfere with the gathering cycle of the men in his family.
I wasn’t strong enough. I know that now, but what hurt me the worse was that I was about to have to fight this same cycle in the coming years.
My baby boy had the cycle in him because not only was his father’s side cursed with enslavement to the streets, but so was my own.
I’d die before I ever allowed him to step into either of their footsteps.
When I left the precinct that I dropped Argus off at I went to my father’s house. It was just my luck that he was sitting on the front porch burning one. That was exactly what I needed at this moment.
Feeling my phone vibrate in my hand I looked down to see who was calling.
It was North. Shit. I didn’t even have time for his shit, so I just tossed my phone into my purse and got out of the car.
My father must’ve already known, because he was already holding the blunt out for me to grab when I climbed the first step.
“You dropped him off?” His first question let me know that he knew.
Seconds later the front screen door opened, and my brother was stepping out of it.
I guess this was like old times. Shit, we sat on this porch and smoked a blunt for every occasion that I could remember.
No matter if it was a good or bad one, all three of us sat right here and burned one.
Shit, I remember when I first thought I was pregnant.
Before I took the test I sat right here and lit up.
I don’t know if my father smelled it from the living room or what, but soon after he was sitting next to me.
Then about fifteen minutes after that, Knoxx pulled up.
Of course, when I told them the occasion my pops snatched the blunt.
In that moment just like this one I just needed to breathe and calm the fuck down.
I nodded my head pulling from the blunt a few times before handing it to Knoxx. “How long did you know?”
“I didn’t. He kept That shit on the low. Why do you think he kept taking flights out? I didn’t know until this morning.” My brother looked at me seriously as he exhaled.
I nodded my head.
“You know Ssiah is good forever.” Knoxx always said that.
“Until he makes the same decision. These streets are nothing more than a black hole. Nobody sees that. Not until it’s too late.
Argus told me I was right today, but I didn’t want to hear it like that.
I didn’t want to see it like that either.
” I hated to feel like I was preaching, but somebody had to say it.
Standing to my feet I climbed the rest of the stairs and went to find my baby. Cuddling up next to him always made me feel better and it always cleared my mind.
“If it makes you feel better, I only play with the trains these days and even that doesn’t have my name tied to it.”
I turned around and looked at my brother before a forced smile crossed my face. “It does.” I knew that he could and would never be fully out of the game that he took enjoyment in. What he said also didn’t stop my worry, but to make him feel better I told him that.
Mentally I was warped, and nothing could or would ease that. I was used to being pissed with Argus and his decisions, but right now I wasn’t pissed with him at all. I was hurting for a man that I’ve loved since my eyes landed on him. This was all so fucked up.