Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Ommy
A Month Later
Ibit into my lip staring out the window at the slow traffic.
Well at first my focus was on the traffic, but somewhere along the way my thoughts traveled elsewhere.
They traveled to the child a few feet away from me.
He was sitting at the table eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.
Then my thoughts jumped to the child currently residing inside of me.
No matter how bad I wanted to find myself in a clinic taking the easy way out, I just couldn’t do it.
Never mind North or what anybody in my life would’ve thought or said, it was about me and the fact that I did this.
Well, I assisted in creating a life, one that no matter what I was responsible for and just like Ssiah this child was no different.
Now it’s father that was a different thing.
North was trying whether I liked it or not.
I know technically he had done nothing wrong, but that didn’t take away from the fact that I was still plagued with the most vivid memories of that day in his office.
Life was too short to hold grudges though and getting the call that my cousin died on the table twice was proof enough.
Of course, she kept fighting and beat death at its own game, but still it happened.
The fact that we almost lost her was enough of an indication that life was extremely short, so holding a grudge about the things I couldn’t control was a waste of my time.
“What are you staring at?”
His voice watered the thirst in my ears as though we were in the ninety-degree Chicago heat. Seconds later I felt his presence behind me before he actually touched me. Just that fast the overthinking I had been doing had dispersed and the only thing that mattered was this space around him and I.
“The clouds.”
He leaned down and pressed his lips to my exposed shoulder before he stood up straight. “Are you mad at me or something?”
That was his favorite question these days.
A smile tugged at my lips. “No, I’m not. Would you stop asking me that?” He turned me around to face him.
“Then act like it.” Now he was smiling as his usually serious eyes focused on me.
The conversation almost took a physical turn, but Niema’s voice broke the moment that was on the verge of imploding.
“Ommy, you’re still taking me school shopping, right?”
I looked away from North toward Niema. “Yeah, what time do you want to go?”
“Um whenever you’re available. I don’t wanna take up all your time.”
“Damn, you give a fuck about her time, but never care about mine.” North narrowed his eyes in his sister’s direction.
I chuckled. “Whatever time is good for you. I need to get some things for Ssiah anyway. I’ve been slacking.” I shook my head at myself.
“Twelve?”
I nodded then looked at North who was now eating the breakfast plate I’d prepared for him this morning.
“Okay. I’ll be ready.” Seconds later she raced out of the kitchen leaving just me and her brother.
I watched him eat for a while longer before I went to his bedroom.
Ever since everything happened with Surah, he insisted Ssiah and I stayed with him to give the city a break.
I agreed, but the last thing I wanted was to crowd his space or get too comfortable in a space that wasn’t my own.
Of course, that was me overthinking, but still North and I were in the fast lane.
Our whole situation was in the fast lane, but that didn’t stop me from buckling up and enjoying the ride.
This could end a few different ways, or as he said it wouldn’t end at all. Only time would tell.
“I’m trying to figure out how I thought I was spending my free day with your ass, and you make plans with my sister.” His voice announced his presence in the room.
I giggled. “You didn’t tell me that. Why don’t you come with us?”
“That was a given. Tonight though, I wanna sit down somewhere with you and me. I’ll pay Niema to keep Ssiah.”
I looked up from my phone and directly at him. “And what did you have in mind?”
“We gotta talk. You know, iron some shit out for our future.” His expression was serious.
I laughed because he put the emphasis on our. “And what do we need to iron out?”
“We’ll discuss that tonight.” He dove into the massive bed making sure to land directly in my space.
With his back flatly against the bed he just peered up at me with so much that he wanted to say, but he didn’t.
Here we were in that space again. It was once again overflowing with what neither of us said.
I just peered down at him wondering just when that space would disappear or if it would ever. He was guarded and so was I, but something in this had to give or it would never work.
It was the way he gazed back at me that had me stuck. “I want this and us. All of it and the whole nine. I know I fucked up and you have your guards up with a nigga. I also know I can’t walk around here and expect you to be over something that we never fully talked about.”
I nodded my head to let him know that I was all ears.
“My communication is fucked up and so is yours, but I need you to know that the things I’m not saying I’m trying to show.
Words ain’t a niggas strong point but I swear to you I want this.
That shit was Santi wasn’t planned out or even a full thought.
She just showed up and it ain’t been nothing past that.
I only want to be with you. I’m only tryna do that meet the parents’ thing with you. ”
I just looked at him. “Are you sure about that?”
“Positive.”
I threw my head forward leaning down to kiss his forehead. “Then that’s all we need to talk about. However, I’m still taking you up on the night out though.”
He nodded his head. “You ain’t gonna get gone on me when shit gets tough are you?”
I peered down at him for a moment mulling over what I could say. “As long as we’re both in agreement that this is what we want then I’m not going anywhere.”
That big bright ass smile of his greeted me as the serious expression on his face disappeared.
I don’t know how to explain it, it felt like something between us changed at that moment.
Like maybe a brick had fallen from the wall between us.
The entire wall hadn’t fallen yet, but Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Good things took time, and I believed in that whole heartedly when it came to myself and North.
“And another thing, if I even catch you in the room with that bitch it’s up.” I winked at him and got off the bed to go get ready to leave.
He laughed behind me, then I heard what sounded like him getting up. I was right because within seconds his arms were wrapped around my body and his chin was buried in the crook of my neck. “You like that?”
“Very much. Let her know y’all’s arrangement is done and she no longer needs to hit you up.”
“How do you know we had an agreement, and it wasn’t ju—”
“Stop while you’re ahead, North.” I rolled my eyes to the ceiling.
“Or what?”
“Fuck around and find out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready to go and so do you.” Peeling his hands from my body I called myself leaving him in the master suite alone, but he was right on my heels.
“I know. There ain't no reason why we can’t take a shower together to conserve water and all that good shit.”
I didn’t even turn around and look at him.
I could almost bet he had a smirk on his face because he gave not one fuck about conserving water.
Though I knew his reasoning was bullshit, I didn’t stop him from stripping down and joining me.
I mean after all this was a massive showroom.
Not to mention the fact that I was craving him in a way that would definitely have us leaving much later than twelve.
It’s safe to say we were late getting to the mall, because North damn sure didn’t stay in his respective corner, and I didn’t require him to. By the time we exited his bedroom Niema had not only gotten herself together, but she had also gotten Ssiah together.
“Yo, what the fuck is that in your hand?” North’s voice broke my thoughts.
I blinked a few times, then looked down at the clothing I was holding in my hand. “They’re clothes, North.”
“But for who? You be tryna dress Messiah like a proper lame. Buy that shit on your own time, but not when you’re with me.”
Did I mention he was holding Messiah in one hand and items that he picked out in the other? Messiah looked just as content and This nigga was something else.
“Asshole,” I mumbled, before walking away and leaving him to do what he was doing. No matter what I loved the way he was with Ssiah. He wasn’t trying to replace Argus, but he was there. I couldn’t help but be thrust back into the moment when I first told him about Argus.
“You know I got you and Ssiah, right? Regardless of the fact that you keep tryna push a nigga away.”
“Push you away? I’m not pushing you away. I’m just in my ow—”
“Don’t bullshit me, Avery,” he insisted on calling me by my middle name.
“I’m not bullshitting you. If I was trying to push you away, I wouldn’t be here. Don’t you think?” I looked around his large living room before my eyes landed back on him.
He laughed. “That’s what you say now, but I mean what I said.” Truth is I believed him when he said that too, and ever since then he’d been present with Messiah. For me it was the fact that I didn’t have to ask him for that, he just did it.
Exiting my thoughts, I decided to leave him to what he was doing.
I let him know then I was going across to the store that Niema was in.
I’m sure I’d like helping her more than being in a Kid’s Foot Locker with North and Messiah.
What made it even worse was the fact that Messiah seemed to take North’s side 100 percent with the way he not only clung to him but also laid his head on his shoulder.
“What do you think about this?” Niema asked as soon as I was standing in front of her. She was holding up a blue crop top.