Chapter 18 #2
After I left Luna’s spot I went directly to go see my therapist. I didn’t know how folks did it but I had to tell her that I was done.
I thought I could just miss a session and not schedule a new one then she’d leave me alone, but I was wrong.
Shorty had hit my line about five times and left me voicemails.
I don’t know if she thought I was one of those people you called a million times to intimidate into doing what she wanted, but that wasn’t me.
I wasn’t that nigga, so instead of allowing this shit to go on I paid a visit to her office during somewhat of my normal time.
I was about to walk into the shop when I saw a familiar face sitting on the bench right in front of the office.
It couldn’t be, because if it was how in the hell would she know I’d be here.
“Hello, Knoxx.” My mother’s voice sounded just like I remembered.
“You ain’t here right now. Because if you were here I’d ask you where the hell you’ve been all these times. If you were indeed here I’d ask you why now.” I still hadn’t faced her.
“Take a seat and I’ll tell you a story. One of the most difficult stories I’ve ever told, but I think it’s time.”
“You think it’s time? That’s bullshit,” I said that, but still ended up taking a seat next to her.
“Maybe it is, but you need to heal from my abandonment. It affected you in a way that it didn’t affect your sister.
My lapse in judgment and selfish choices left you open to harm from every which direction.
For all of that I am sorry. I deeply regret not being the mother either of you needed and for the rest of my life I will live in that.
Even though I have not always been present or there like you needed I have always tried to protect you from the things that mean to harm you.
Raevan is not carrying your child, she never was.
It was just her way to hurt you the way she’d been hurt so many times in her life.
” Seconds later she handed me a piece of paper with what looked like DNA results.
“How did you get this?”
“I have my ways. Raevan won’t be a problem for you anymore.
And also ADA Miranda Steele works for me and I asked her to be of some sort of service to you for your business.
However I didn’t expect you to sleep with her.
Business should always be business, Knoxx,” she said that in a scolding tone and I couldn’t help but feel like a seven-year-old in her presence.
“How do you know so much of my life?” I was rendered almost speechless by everything that came out of her mouth.
“Because it’s my job to know everything, to deal with everything and to handle inconveniences.” After she said that she was standing to her feet like she hadn’t just blown some shit up in my life. Now I really wanted to know who the hell she was.
“What about that story?” I called after her when she went to walk in the direction of a black-on-black Suburban that I didn’t notice at first.
“You don’t need it and you don’t need me.
Take care of yourself and your sister, son.
I’ll always be around.” Then she got into the back seat of the bench leaving me sitting there with more questions than I started with.
It took me a minute to recuperate but once I did I still had some things to do.
I went upstairs and knocked on the door.
Just like always when she opened the door the entire room reeked of eucalyptus mixed with something sweet.
I only knew that much because when Omyia first started making candles she was fucking obsessed with the shit.
“It’s been a minute, Knoxx.”
“Yeah it had. I only stopped by to let you know I was done.” I didn’t even take a seat.
“What do you mean? You haven’t worked through your problems that fast. That isn’t how it works. I thought we talked about that”
“We did and I know that, but don’t think this is helping me the way it should.
Shit actually I just got a lil’ bit of closure before I came in here.
There isn’t any more of a need for me to come here and talk to you about shit that you can’t change.
” I said everything short of the fact that Luna didn’t want me coming here.
Doc nodded, before backing up against her desk. “If you say so. I’m very disappointed that you don’t want to see the program through, but it’s up to you and my door will always be open for you.”
I nodded my head and turned to leave, but then she started back talking.
“I’ll always be here if you need to talk, or anything else.”
I turned around just in time to see her licking her lips.
“Anything else like what?” I knew I wasn’t crazy.
Hell nah I wasn’t delusional; it was definitely a few times I came in here and she wanted to do more than talk.
It was the look she gave me and the way her eyes always went to my pants before they rested on my eyes.
See, I wasn’t the fucking problem at all, it was females.
My fucking therapist couldn’t even be professional.
“You know what I’m talking about, Knoxx.” She was giving me that look.
“Nope I don’t, but I knew you wanted to fuck me.
I thought I was seeing shit, but I wasn’t.
Be easy Doc.” I damn near stumbled out of the room, because had this been a few weeks ago before I decided shoot this shot with Luna I would’ve had the good doctor face down and ass up in this fucking office.
The last thing I needed was to get caught up in some mess like this right when things with me and Luna looked up.
When I finally got to my car I just sat there for a while sifting through my thoughts.
My mother just popping in and giving me an earful had my mind literally racing.
I doubt I’d be able to even focus on anything else because she knew too much for comfort.
She was too versed in my life and the fact that she said she’d always be around had a nigga stomped.
Then the fact that Miranda was damn near a plant in my life fucked me up.
I picked my phone up to call my father when a test message from Namari came through. It was an address. Just that fast thoughts of my mother floated to the back of my brain, and I was ready for what was about to go down.
Namari
When I left North’s office that day, I was fishing to do some stupid shit but decided against it.
I was thirty-eight hot, about to pull up to my auntie’s and pop his ass in her living room.
That wouldn’t have been smart though, it would’ve been small thinking and would’ve landed me behind bars.
Instead of moving reckless Kasey and I both plotted how this shit would go.
I wanted to catch Gunz in then act of being a snake ass nigga, so I had a few niggas following him.
Then after all that elaborate scheming another opportunity presented itself.
Even though I had something planned for both of them, Req's was different. His moment would most definitely be worse than my cousin’s because he had the balls to walk up to my girl in the mall.
He scared the fuck out of her, and I didn’t like that shit at all.
I didn’t like the look on her face when I walked up on her that day, so I vowed to eliminate the cause in the worst way possible.
I tried to keep a level head and wait it out, but I wanted his ass bad.
From what I heard Requ didn’t even go looking for his nephew when he went missing.
He kept it moving and swept that shit under the rug like it was nothing.
Had my blood been missing the streets would’ve bled until they turned up, but this nigga was a different breed.
He was bitchmade and that trait was the reason all his people were dying tonight too.
Kasey hopped in the driver’s side of his truck and looked over at me. “You sure you wanna say fuck the plan and handle it right now?”
“Why not? You wanna stick with the plan?” I questioned.
“Hell nah. I've been told you let’s burn one and finish off the business. I’on like having anything dangling in the wind. I want to finish this shit once and for all then go party on the block with a thick bitch.”
I nodded. “Then that’s what we do. Your boys got a location on Requ?”
“That ain’t even needed. He’s at his baby mama’s spot.”
“How the fuck you know that?” I looked over at him with confusion evident in my eyes.
“Because she got a nice set of lips attached to her face. She knows how to use them too.”
I laughed immediately thinking back to when Surah said she hit a bitch upside the head with the nail shop fan.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’on know how many of those bitches he got, but one of them approached Surah and she hit her ass with the lil’ nail drying fan.”
He joined in on the laughter before responding. “That’s ha. I remember asking her what happened to her face one day when I pulled through for some head. She claimed she slipped on some ice.”
“You mess with her like that?” I had to ask.
“Hell nah. Just head and last one up type of shit. Plus, I ain’t fucking with none of these bitches like that. She knows I’m beefing with her baby daddy and will still get on her knees. Females ain’t got no loyalty”
“All females ain’t like that. It’s yo’ type, nigga.”
“How is it my type? Are you telling me all thick bitches, with good feet, real hair and real bodies are disloyal? As a matter of fact, other than those boxes I ain’t really got no type.”
I chuckled at his stupid ass because he literally just said his type. “That’s a type, Kasey.”
“Nah, those are just the prerequisites for me to take a female remotely serious.”
“Nigga shut up.” I was beside myself with laughter at his stupid ass. “What do you wanna do?”