12. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Blake
Hunter. I like the way his name rolls off my tongue. I don’t understand why he is so nice to Charlie and me. I am terrified that the other shoe will drop soon.
That’s why I have been lying here for the past hour and a half, just staring at the ceiling or watching Charlie sleep. I can’t get my mind to shut off. After we finished eating the pizza that Hunter so graciously bought, we came to lay down again and Charlie fell back to sleep pretty quickly.
If I am not thinking about Craig and what he will do to me once he finds me, I am thinking about how Hunter looked when I knelt between his legs. There are two different obsessions happening inside of me on two totally different scales. One is terror, the other lust—a feeling I have no right to feel for this man in the first place.
He is clearly part of something bigger than bike riding alone. He must be a part of a biker gang. That is really the only way to explain away some of the things I’ve overheard so far.
Shortly after I came to the room, Viper, the guy I saw earlier, came out of his room and talked to Hunter about some drug shipment that was short a couple of ounces. Hunter was so mad that I heard him from all the way in here when he yelled back at the man. There was a sound like something being thrown across the room, and since then, it has been quiet.
I hear the creak of a screen door opening, and my curiosity gets the best of me. I slowly climb out of bed, making sure not to wake Charlie, and head toward the bedroom door. When I don’t see anyone, I look out the back door window.
Hunter sits in a chair, leaning back with a cigarette in his mouth. His shirt is off, displaying a chest full of colorful tattoos. He rakes his hand through his beard, and I have to stop myself from rushing out there. What the fuck is wrong with me? Probably the fact that I have basically been alone for the past nine years. All Craig ever cared about was his own pleasure. He never even held out long enough for me to have my own release. I would always just fake my orgasms so he didn’t make me feel bad afterward. Hunter seems like the guy who would wait forever if it meant forcing pleasure from me.
I gently open the door, hoping I don’t upset him by joining him on the porch. “Can’t sleep?” he asks without even looking to see who it is.
“Unfortunately. I don’t do well with unfamiliar places.” I sigh, walking over to lean against the railing. “How is your knee feeling?”
“Ah, the old knee is fine. I just rode it too hard today,” he grumbles, then takes a drag of his cig.
The way his mouth perks around the end and draws in the delicious smoke has me staring directly at his lips.
He raises his brow. “Would you like one?” He holds out his pack to me, and this time, I nod and grab one.
“Thank you,” I whisper, leaning down to let him light it for me. I sit in the empty seat across from him and take in a big drag, then blow it out with a sigh. I forgot how good these used to make me feel.
Hunter laughs. “You look like you have done that a time or two.”
I nod, taking another drag. “I used to smoke before Charlie was born. But after I found out I was pregnant, I gave them up.” I let the smoke out of my lungs. “They say that after a long time, the craving goes away. But mine never has.” It didn’t help that Craig forced me to quit, saying I always tasted like an ashtray.
He leans forward in his chair and rests his elbows on his knees. “I figure I’m too damn old to quit now. I have been smoking for so long. What would be the point of quitting?”
He takes in another long drag and then puts out the cig in his ashtray. I still have all of my cigarette left. But the anxiety of him waiting for me to finish eats away at me, so I smoke it faster.
“You’re going to give yourself a headache,” he smirks.
I wave him off and take another long drag. “Yeah, yeah. I know. But I don’t want to hold you up if I can help it.”
“What would you be holding me up from? I have nowhere to be.” He motions around the deck.
I raise my brow. “Oh, I figured you had things to handle with your biker gang or something.” It’s a low blow to just throw it out there like that, but I am really curious what he does that would involve the drugs being short.
His eyes widen. “What do you mean?”
I shrug. “I overheard you yelling at the guy from earlier.”
He stares at me for a moment and then schools his features. “I am sorry that you heard all of that. But it is none of your concern.”
I bristle. None of my concern? “I think I should know whose house I am currently staying in with my child.” I tilt my head to the side.
He turns his gaze to the night sky and sucks in a breath. “Well, first of all, we are not a gang we are a club, and yes, there is a difference.” he scoffs. “Gangs are filled with young boys who are only out for the glory. Clubs are in it for a family, a brotherhood. There is so much more to us than the violence and the illegal shit.”
He lights up another cig and continues when I don’t speak. “What you heard was basically my guy telling me about the drug shipment being short. It’s the one I was carrying with me when you hit me with your car.”
Shit. Am I the reason his drugs were short? “Are they going to come after me now?”
He looks at me as if I grew two heads. “What? No, why on earth would you think that?”
I stand and start to pace back and forth. “I don’t know. Isn’t that what criminal organizations do when you are the cause of drugs going missing?”
He grabs me by both my shoulders and steadys me. “Nothing will happen to you or Charlie for this. All of this is on me. You have nothing to worry about.” His thumb glides gently along my collar bone. “I already spoke to my pres, we got the situation handled. You are safe.”
I want to believe him but I don’t even know what safe feels like.
I look up into his soft eyes and get lost for a moment. Can this gentle giant, really be a part of a motorcycle gang? Or club whatever. Can the hands that are on my shoulders really hurt another human being? He is so kind to me and Charlie. A thought rushes to my mind and before I can stop myself I blurt it out. “Do you hurt people?”
His thumb stills close to my neck and he looks down at me. His stare turns hard for a moment before he smirks. “I am not a good man, Blake. Of course I hurt people. But only if they deserve it.”
Would he hurt someone for me?
“Mommy?” Charlie's voice comes from the other side of the door, and I panic, flicking my cigarette into the yard. My thought dies right on the edge of my tongue.
“Shit.” I wave my hand in front of my face, trying to get the smoke to clear. I rush over to the door and look back at Hunter. “I’m so sorry. I’ll grab the butt after I put Charlie back to bed.” I open the door and squeeze inside. “Hey, baby.” I scoop her into my arms.
She scrunches her nose. “Why do you smell like that, Mommy?”
“I was just hanging out with Mr. Hunter, baby.” I hate lying to her, but I don’t plan to start smoking again.
I bring her back to the bedroom and sit her on the bed. “Why are you awake?”
She squirms. “I have to potty.”
“Oh, okay. Come in here.” I get up and turn the light on to the bathroom.
I help her onto the toilet and step out of the way to give her a bit of privacy. While she uses the restroom, I go in search of something to spray on me so that I don’t smell like smoke anymore. I spot a can of cologne by the sink and quickly spray it a couple of times on my chest and wrists.
“All done!” Charlie yells, and I rush over to her.
“Shh, baby. People might be sleeping.” I help her pull her pants back on.
Once she is tucked back in bed, I rub her head until she falls back asleep.
I wish I could say that as soon as Charlie fell asleep, I followed after her, but sleep eludes me. I stare at the ceiling and watch as the fan spins. Trying to make my eyes fixate on one blade at a time.
I sigh. What the hell am I doing? Leaving my life behind only to fall into the arms of another man. What kind of piece of shit human being am I?
I should have just kept driving. Drove until I found a nice, secluded town to stay for the night. I wish I could have gone to my mom’s.
Fuck ! I quickly sit up in my bed. I forgot to message her and tell her what was going on. I just fucking left and didn’t think about anything else.
I rush to grab my phone from my bag and see multiple missed calls from her and Craig. Along with missed messages from him as well. Not having the mental capacity for him right now, I pull up the messages from my mother and open a new one.
I will be out of town for a little while, Mama. Don’t let Craig anywhere near your house.
I click the send button.
I didn’t tell her everything that’s going on because I don’t want to scare her. I know she is going to have questions about Craig, but at least I warned her a little beforehand. I was thinking that Craig might have been hurt worse than he is, but by the string of messages I am looking at, I can see he is alive and well.
Answer me!
I scroll to the next message.
Blake, I swear to God, if you don’t answer this fucking phone you are going to pay!
I scoff. How the hell are you going to make me pay?
What kind of mother takes a child away from her loving father? Who fucking does that?
Loving? What loving father chases after their daughter? I don’t reply to anything. I don’t have the strength to fight with him right now. He deserves to wallow in his own self-hate.
You are nothing without me, Blake, and you know it.
How could you do this to me?
I love you, you know I do.
I close the phone and sink down onto the floor. I might be worth nothing right now, but at least I got Charlie away from him before she started to feel worthless too.