Chapter 19 #2
My voice catches and my hands ball into fists.
“She didn’t scream. Not even once. She was worried that he would hurt us.
So, she waited until he was gone. We got there too late,” I look down at the water.
“She never told me what he’d done exactly but…
I knew. I knew because Father was doing the same thing to me.
She wasn’t the same after that. She tried to be, but, no one looked at her the same, including him.
She didn’t leave the house, and she asked me or Alessio to sit in the bathroom with her while she showered. She was terrified to be alone.”
My eyes burn with tears. “Then one morning…there she was. I found her. In the library. She’d slit her wrists and laid there bleeding out the entire night. No one had noticed. No one had even gone in there.” My voice is louder and rougher. My heart squeezes painfully in my chest.
I suck in a breath to settle myself and shake my head. “It was easier for my father to say she’d been killed than admit that she’d killed herself. That he had failed her. That we all had.”
“I’m so sorry, baby,” Soren whispers and leans down. His face brushes the top of my own. “I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to find her like that.”
I shake my head. “That was not the hard part. The hard part was knowing I could have saved her.”
Tears slide down my cheeks. “If I’d just gone to the library before bed like I always did, I might have found her, or stopped her.”
Soren is quiet as I cry softly.
“It’s my fault she’s gone.”
Soren rubs my damp shoulder. “No, it’s not,” Soren assures me. “You were just a kid.”
I sniff and try to compose myself. “It’s always someone’s fault, isn’t it? I should’ve been there for my mom. Saved her. Cassian should have—”
“Saved your father?” Soren asks. “He was a piece of shit, Carmine. I’m sorry, but your life is better off without him. Cassian’s too.”
“You don’t know that,” I huff softly. “Maybe…” I shake my head. Even I can’t think of a good reason for the man to still be alive. “You’re right. I should not want him to be alive, but I do. Some part of me does.”
“I don’t want to kill my fucking uncle…but I might have to,” Soren replies in turn. “So, I get it.”
It’s quiet again, and I take the moment to actually wash up—sans my hair—and then get out of the tub. Soren drains the water and hands me a towel.
“Hey, if what I said—” he starts, but I stop him.
“No. It’s fine. My father was not a good man. Maybe he…hurt more than just me, I don’t know. Cassian is just a kid too. I should not be so hard on either of us.” I sigh and start to dry off, rubbing the towel around myself and all my aches and pains before wrapping it around my hips.
My stomach growls, and I swear Soren’s does at the same time.
“Maybe this place has some food?” he suggests.
I chuckle weakly. “Fat chance, we can check though.”
I lean against the bathroom sink for a moment, not ready to leave the warm, steam-filled bathroom.
“How did your parents die?” I ask him quietly.
Soren licks his lips and folds his arms. “Car bomb.”
I blink. I wasn’t expecting such a simple answer.
“Wow,” I mumble.
“Yeah. They left me and Rose at home ‘cause we were still asleep. They planned on bringing breakfast home, but they never made it past the driveway,” Soren explains. His eyes are dark, but they don’t seem to gloss over like my own. He looks to the side of me, like he’s looking through the wall.
“Who did it?” I ask.
“They think the Massimos, but they never could prove it,” he tells me.
I take a deep breath and step over to him. “That fucking sucks, Ren,” I say and place a hand on his shoulder. “That won’t happen to you. I won’t let it.”
He looks up at me slowly. “We all say that about the people we love, but we don’t really have a choice, right?” His voice is soft.
I shake my head. “Wrong. Anyone who wants to fuck with you will have to go through me. I don’t care what I have to do.” My fingers dig into his shirt at his shoulder.
“Same for you,” Soren tells me. The color of his eyes gets even darker and his gaze pours into mine.
I step closer to him while placing my hands on his chest. The shirt he’s wearing is familiar to me—it’s my fathers. Both of us are wearing a mismatch of clothing that was left at the villa.
“You’re wearing my father’s shirt, you know,” I tell him slowly. I brush my fingers along the neckline of the polo shirt that is undoubtedly from the 90’s. It reminds me of him.
The smell of his cologne. Alcohol. Peppermint. Even though it doesn’t actually smell like either of those things.
Soren looks down. “Ah. I’m sorry, I can—” he starts, but I lean up and I kiss him.
I’m not sure why. Something in my brain just snaps and I want to crush my mouth against his as hard as I possibly can.
He kisses me back for just a second, seeming taken aback, before he pulls back and looks at me with a furrowed brow.
“Carmine,” he says slowly. “Are you alright?”
I lick my lips and brush my hands to the hem of the shirt. “You’re nothing like him,” I tell him. “But in this shirt…you remind me of him. What he did to me—but I want you. I want to kiss you. I want to touch you while you’re wearing his clothing.”
Soren eyes my face. My face that’s flushed pink and still damp from previous tears.
“I’ll give you anything you want,” he promises me. “As long as you’re sure.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself closer to him. Pressing my damp naked chest to the shirt. “I want to forget about him, but I can’t. I have to live with it, but maybe it doesn’t have to hurt so much. Maybe you can help take some of the pain away.”
“For you? Always,” Soren whispers. “Just tell me what you need.”
“I need you,” I tell him, tears in my eyes. “I need you to fuck me while wearing my dead father’s shirt, so that I can think about you and nothing else. Just you.”
Soren captures my mouth without another word. He kisses me firm and ardent, with no hesitation whatsoever. It’s not the soft or slow kiss from the night before; no, it’s rough and dominant.
The towel falls from my waist to the floor and Soren’s hands wrap around my waist, then slide to my back. His large, rough hand presses to my lower back and urges me closer to him.
I kiss him back deeply, my lips crushing to his before parting and allowing his tongue to invade my mouth without thought. His mouth tastes of the both of us from the night before and a bit of morning breath, but I don’t care.
I also don’t care that my stomach is growling, body aching, and assassins are literally after our ass.
Frankly, if I have to die today, I’d rather die in the arms of the man I love, naked and jizzing all over than not.
To die in Soren’s embrace is the best option out of all of them.
“Ren,” I moan, muffled into the kiss.
Soren groans in response and swirls his tongue around mine.
His hands slide down to my ass and grip tightly.
The heat from the bath can’t compare to the warmth that wells up into my body because of his touch.
Arousal tingles all down my stomach and groin to my cock, hardening it against his groin.
Then I’m trapped between my own body and his stomach as he pulls me onto my tip toes.
Soren’s strong arms and hands ease me up into I’m prompted to wrap my legs around him.
“Mine,” he rumbles as he breaks the kiss. “Only mine.”
I feel his hard length inside of the sweats he’s wearing and find myself rocking against him to try and urge him on.
“Please,” I beg him.
He tilts his head down and kisses up my neck to my ear. One of his hands leaves my ass, the other holding me up, and slides up my chest. He toys with one of my nipples, pulling and pinching at it until I gasp.
“Such a naughty boy,” Soren croons. “Naughty boy who wants to be fucked so bad.”
I tremble. He chuckles darkly.
I rake my fingers through the back of his hair and grip tightly, listening to the moan in response to my nails against his scalp.
Despite all of the cuts and scars already on his body, I know that they won’t be the only ones after we’re done. Not on either of us.
Soren bites at my neck so hard that I yelp and press my face into his neck.
I think I’m bleeding, and I like it. I like the way it feels for him to mark me like this. Make me whimper and bleed.
Soren sucks on his fingers and then shoves them up my ass.
As he plays with me, I moan and squirm against him like a pathetic mewling animal.
“Needy little lamb,” Soren growls against my shoulder as his fingers thrust in and out of me from behind.
I gasp against his neck and grind my hips back and forwards, over and over again.
“I need you, I n-need you so bad.”
Soren continues to ravage my ass with his fingers, caressing that special spot inside of me until I’m practically drooling onto my father’s shirt. A shirt that as far as I’m concerned now belongs to Soren. Him only.
Just like me.
“Look at you, so fucking desperate. You want my cock, baby?” he asks me, pounding his fingers in and out.
I can hardly respond.
“If you want my dick, you’re gonna have to say it,” he growls.
Compared to the night before, this is totally different.
I’d been fucking him into a mattress while he whimpered and groaned.
I hadn’t been in control though, not like this.
He is the dominant one, and it’s moments like this where I realize just how badly I need it.
How truly desperate I am to have someone take control of me.
Someone safe.
“P-Please, Sir…please, fuck me. God, I want your fucking cock inside of me,” I beg him breathlessly. Each word takes dragging out but I finally do it.
“Good boy.”
Soren shoves down the sweats and he’s wearing nothing else underneath them. His length is hard and dripping with precum as he presses it against my hole.
“Ah!” I gasp as he turns us around and presses me against the bathroom wall, tile and all.
One hand on my ass, the other moves to my throat. He squeezes both tightly and my head goes a bit fuzzy.
“Take me, all of me, baby,” Soren tells me. His voice is ragged and breathless, as he pushes himself inside of me until he reaches the hilt of his cock.
My head tilts back against the wall and all I can do is let him manhandle me while I’m open mouthed and moaning.
As far as I know, no one can hear me, but if they could…they might think I was getting my brains fucked out of me—I’m pretty sure I am.
Nothing matters.
Even if it did, I can’t think about any of it.
Not my father’s hands on my body. Not the smell of him. Not all the ways he hurt me.
Only Soren.
The sweaty, musky, and perfect scent of his skin and hair.
As he plunges into me over and over again, my dick pulses and precum drips and splatters on my stomach.
The pleasure is almost too much.
Soren grunts each time he thrusts hard and fast. His hand on my throat gets even tighter. Cutting my breath off ever so slightly and I gasp for it. He lets up.
“N-No, don’t stop!”
He pushes down again.
“Good…boy…fuck, fuck yeah, take it, baby.” Soren’s words are stuttered and breathless.
My mouth simply hangs open as he stops me from breathing deeply.
I can feel it. The pleasure, the pressure, building up in my balls and swelling at my tip. It isn’t any of these things that puts me over the edge though.
Not the tears that sting my eyes. Not the grunting, groaning, whimpering, or the sound of the small painting on the wall next to my head rattling.
No, it’s Soren’s voice as he cums inside of me. As he explodes within me in several rough thrusts.
“Fuck! I…fucking love you, Carm.”
That makes me come. All over my stomach and his groin. I’m shaking and arching and crying by the end of it.
Tears stream down my face and I’m sobbing.
Literally sobbing.
I don’t really know why.
It just feels so intense.
My fingers pull at his hair and curl tighter into the fabric of the shirt.
“Lamb?” he mumbles as he lets go of my neck and presses his chest against mine more tightly, followed by his forehead against mine.
“Are you alright?” his voice is shaky too. I can’t see him though through the tears streaming down my face.
“I-I…yes, I just…” I can’t get the words out fast enough. “I love you.”
Soren slowly pulls out of me and I feel the cum drip out onto the floor.
He kisses my cheek, then my jawline, all while softly shushing me.
There’s no doubt about it.
I was never my father’s. He took me. Stole me.
I am Soren’s. Only his. Always. Forever.