Chapter 2
It’s fine. My boyfriend doesn’t need to give me his undivided attention as soon as I hop into the car. It’s not like my scent drives him mad or he wants to mark me the minute he knows I’m in the vicinity.
Parker was busy tapping away on his screen. Balling my fist, I tried to be patient, but as the time on the dash went from 3:30 to 3:50 without so much as a word, I started to lose my mind. Sneaking a glance his way, I checked him out. Blonde hair fell over his eyes. He was wearing a white t-shirt and sweats. He wasn’t dressed for going out and I wondered if he’d forgotten.
Chewing on my lip, I remind myself that he’s a real life man and not a monster from my romance books. Men in the non-fictional world don’t obsess over you like the morally gray fictional ones do. I have to stop holding Parker to that standard, every man really, or I’ll always be disappointed. And I’m not the main character. Never could fit the bill. Dani on the other hand, she was made for the role.
Sighing, I slumped back against the seat. What I’m not going to do is compare myself to my best friend. It’s not her fault she’s perfect. And it’s not like this is my first time actually thinking I look pretty or anything. I groaned internally. There I go being fucking self-centered again. Why do I always sound like a ‘pick me’ girl? Biting too deep, the metallic tang I was all too familiar with filled my mouth. A tear sprinted down my cheek as I faced the window and pretended I was looking outside. Everything was a blur and I hated that I’d thrown myself down depression lane.
Is it so wrong to want to be told that I look pretty?
I was so angry I shook with laughter, rubbing my forearm against my face as I leaned into the glass, hoping to hide the fact that I was losing it. He threw his phone on the center console, the sharp noise making me jump. I can’t look at him right now. He might notice my eyes are red. But of course, he didn’t. The silence stretched as he pulled away from the curb and onto the main road. I didn’t know if my worries were valid or if I just expected too much.
“Where are we even going?” His words cut through my self-deprecating thoughts and I scrambled to answer. Folding my hands over my lap, I fiddled.
“Smoke and Cedar. It’s this place that’s gone viral recently. I wanted to check it out.”
He picked up his phone and texted while he drove. Strike one. Once again, I’m put on the back burner while he writes someone who is obviously more important than me. I wanted to address this, but at the same time, I really wanted to have a good night. And while I knew I should be able to voice my opinion, I also knew he wasn’t really good at hearing me without taking it as a personal attack. So I swallowed it like every other time.
“I think you’ll really like—”
“Can you not talk right now? I’ve really got to take this and I’m already multi-tasking. I can’t drive, text, and figure out what you’re on about. Just give me a minute.” My jaw dropped at his sharp tone. Strike two. Someone’s got him riled up and he’s lashing out at me. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled slowly and faced the front. “A minute” turns into several and by the time he was done, we’d arrived.
He was still on his phone as the valet came to his car. I grabbed the ticket and thanked them before waiting for Parker to get out. Shaking my head, I walked to the entrance and the doors opened. I pulled out my ID and handed it to the security guard. We took the elevator in silence and when we stepped off, I gasped. The first thing I saw was the night sky and moonlight lighting Mount Rainier. We walked until we hit the bar and on our right was a smiling waitress.
“Good evening! Can I get the name under the reservation?” She was a brunette with pale skin who was dressed professionally. And she was all smiles even though my date wasn’t dressed how he should be.
“Lila,” I said as I straightened. She checked her screen and nodded before looking up.
“Perfect. Please follow me.” As she led us into the main area, I couldn’t help but be flabbergasted. The oversized windows revealed a breathtaking view–city lights twinkling below, and in the distance, Mount Rainier towered over the landscape. The treetops made it feel like we were nestled in the woods rather than in the middle of a city. My boyfriend slumped in his seat, staring at his phone, so I pulled mine out too. Dani’s a bad influence. I’m having expectations I’ve never had before. The restaurant was everything I thought it would be and his inability to be present became harder to ignore. Cute little bronze lights that looked like mushrooms decorated the table. I didn’t bother picking up the menu—I knew what I wanted.
“Can I get you anything to drink while you decide on what you’d like to eat?” she asked.
“Yes, can I get a latte, please?” She nodded.
“It comes with cookies. Do you want that with the latte, or would you prefer I deliver it after your meal?” Her customer service is amazing.
“At the same time. Thank you. And water for him.”
“Sounds good! I’ll–”
“Did I say I wanted water? Give me a coke.” Parker demanded. The waitress looked surprised for a second and then fixed her features.
“I’ll get this started for you and your waiter will be with you shortly.” She turned on her heel and disappeared.
“Do you have to be so rude?” I whispered.
“This was your idea. I didn’t want to be here.” His comments caught me off guard.
“Don’t direct your anger at me.” Before he could say a word, I turned away. Staring out the window, I sighed. The man was an ass, but if I told myself the pretty view and the smell of good food made it bearable enough times, I’d believe it.
A male waiter returned with our drinks and a platter of treats.
“Mm. Thanks so much! I’m ready to order.” I was so excited I felt like doing a little dance, but I knew Parker hated it when I did that.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he said.
“I’d like to start with your french onion soup and for my entree, I’d like a potato wrapped Alaskan halibut. I know it comes with creamed leeks, but can you add baked asparagus? For dessert, I’d like the chocolate decadence, please!”
“Sounds good. And for you, sir?” The tanned skinned waiter with brown hair asked as he turned to Parker. But he was back on his phone.
“He’ll get the Filet Mignon. Thank you.”
Parker hates fish, and funnily enough, the Filet Mignon was the cheapest steak on the menu. I saved for this date and I’m going to enjoy my food. Before the waiter left, I requested that he bring everything out together. As he walked away I realized that I’d talked to a stranger more than my boyfriend tonight. I sipped my latte and grabbed one of the cookies on the platter in front of me. When I bit into the chocolate goodness, I moaned. So. good. Finally, he set down his phone, and looked at me for what felt like the first time since he picked me up.
Blue eyes filled with irritation and boredom cut through me. Clenching my jaw to stop the tremble I feel setting in, I hardened my heart and waited for him to go in on me. His gaze lowered and his eyebrow arched as if I’d somehow caught him off guard. Pathetic hope bloomed and I was disgusted with myself for how desperate I’d become for any ounce of his attention. When his focus returned to my face, I knew he could see my nerves, but made no attempt to comfort me.
“You look good, doll. I’m managing a project and can’t get the team to get along.” Finally, he looked around before glancing at the time on his phone.
“Thanks,” I mumbled. He sighed impatiently as I took another sip.
“What’s taking them so long? We’ve been waiting.” Lowering my cup, I held in the retort that’s dying to get out. I’m the one who has been waiting. As if the waiter heard my inner turmoil, he appeared out of thin air with our food. There was so much that the waitress from earlier was assisting him. When everything was placed in front of us, my mouth was officially watering.
“Thanks so much,” I groaned.
“I’d like—”
“Of course, Hun. Let me know if you need anything else,” he said, cutting off Parker. You know it’s bad when the waiter comes to your defense.
“What was that about?” my date scoffed. Flushed, I picked up my spoon and brought the cheesy goodness from the onion soup to my mouth. There’s a wooden mini-stand with a fluffy loaf that’s calling my name. Ripping off a piece, I swiped some of the whipped cream looking butter and spread it on before dipping it into the soup.
“Oh, my…” I murmured between chewing.
Halfway through the meal his phone vibrated against the table and once again, it was second to none. When the waiter came back and asked me how it was, I gushed about the food before asking for the check. He gave me an empathetic look and returned shortly to drop it in front of Parker. He completely ignored it, too enthralled with whoever was on the other side of the phone. Fed up, I picked up the little black book holding the bill and stuffed in a wad of ones and fives. Plus a 20% tip because customer service isn’t freaking easy . I barely have a few dollars left to my name, but it was worth it.
“Thank you. The food was amazing. No change.” I passed him the book and got up.
“Of course. I hope you have an amazing night.” He didn’t so much as look at Parker as he walked away.
“What was that about?” Parker grumbled, but I didn’t bother giving him an answer as I pushed my chair back. Standing, I headed out without another word. I took the elevator alone and gave the ticket to the valet. I stood out in the cold in front of his car with my arms crossed in front of my chest. When he made his way outside, I was already contemplating his death. The urge to slap him rattled through me, but I’ve never so much as killed a spider.
As soon as the attendant pulled up, I yanked the door open and slid in. The seat was cold and I stared at him as he slowly made his way around to the driver’s side. Parker was the cutest guy I’ve dated. With his blonde hair swept effortlessly to the side and his blue eyes, he was the perfect cover model. He’s easily the hottest guy at UW, but I’ve never wanted to be as violent with someone as I do right this moment. I tried and failed to take deep breaths to calm myself down. As soon as he was in and closed the door, he held his precious phone at an angle so I couldn’t see his screen. I can’t hold it in anymore.
“Is this so-called project more important than me?” I started as I faced him.
“First off, why are your panties in a twist? Holy shit,” he said exasperated, as if this was coming out of nowhere.
“You’ve said maybe three sentences to me since you picked me up. Who’re you writing and why aren’t you being present right now?”
He shook his head and brushed me off like I was the one who wasn’t making sense. Turning on the car he cranked up the heat and pulled away from the restaurant.
“I don’t know what your deal is, but lay off. I need you to chill the fuck out.” He brushed a stray strand out of his face as he quickly glanced at the screen.
“Are you actually fucking kidding me? I’m pissed and you can’t give me more than a second of your time?” After how he’d acted this entire evening, I shouldn’t have been, but I was in disbelief.
“Lila. Lay off,” Parker warned through clenched teeth.
My jaw drops because for once I know he’s the one in the wrong. I saw the silence filling the car for what it was—distance. If I was a priority he would be trying to hold my hand, trying to fix the misunderstanding, trying to make it up to me, but he wasn’t doing any of those things. He saw my frustration as a reason for him to be upset with me and not a sign that he’d royally screwed up. I was stuck between wanting to fix it and knowing I couldn’t let it slide. His warning repeated in my head, but the storm was waging and there was no pulling it back. He’s fine with me sitting here with my mouth shut as long as I let him do what he’s doing. My needs take a backseat when his wants are involved. I hate it and I’m so done.
I snatched his phone mid-text, and he cursed. The car swerved and jerked to a stop on the shoulder. When he reached for it, I dodged, leaning toward my door. His nails clawed at my cheek, and I cried out. I blocked him as best I could while he fought to grab it back.
On the screen was a picture of a woman I recognized, posing in a mirror selfie. She wore lingerie and had a pencil-thin frame. Beneath it, one sentence burned into me:
Does she know you’re coming to me after?
“Give me my phone, Lila!” he yelled as my stomach twisted. Sitting back, I let him yank it from my hands. He threw his phone against the dash and it ricocheted back, hitting me just below the eye. A sharp cry escaped me as he yanked my hair so hard my scalp tingled.
“I knew something was going on,” I cried. He shoved me face down, bashing my nose against the dash. Releasing me, I held my face as blood dripped down my hands. When he looked at me, he had the audacity to look angry.
“Can you blame me? You never put out. I’ve got needs. You had to go and be a nosy ass bitch and now you’ve hurt your own feelings,” he spat. My chest ached as I replayed the last few weeks, trying to figure out when it started.
“Are you seriously blaming me for the fact you were sneaking around like a rat?” I hissed. Before I knew what was happening, his hand snapped out and I hit the back of my head against the window. There was a flash of white as it banged and I swear I heard something crack. Blinding pain shot through me and I screamed. Hunching forward, I grabbed my eye as warmth drenched my shirt.
“Look what you fucking made me do.” Parker’s voice was cold and collected. Nothing like the way he was acting.
“I… I…” my words died as my eyes watered. Parker had been rough with me before, but he’d never hit me. I was at a loss for words. My ears were ringing as my mind struggled to grasp what had happened.
Parker hit me. No, he punched me.
What. the. fuck.
“I told you I’ve been stressed. You made me wait for so long. So, yes, I needed to get my dick wet somewhere. Don’t start fucking crying like this is my fault,” Parker sneered. His eyes flashed and I swear they almost looked yellow. My tears had broken the dam and I was full on sobbing now. I might not be the prettiest or skinniest, but I know I don’t deserve this.
“Stop the car,” I hiccuped.
Parker kept driving like he hadn’t heard me. His gaze darted between the road and the floor. He was still focused on his phone, on her, and that just confirmed it all.
“Parker, stop the fucking car!” I screamed.
He hit the breaks and I pried the door open. I hopped out, and his roar chased me down the shoulder.
“You’re going to regret this, Lila. Get your ass back here!”
Don’t do it.
Don’t do it.
Don’t fucking do it.
I managed to keep walking. Tears poured down my face as he stomped on the gas and the door closed. He left me on the side of the road, but it only cemented the fact I’d made the right choice. The cool air rushed against my face until it felt numb. I was hurt, bruised, and bleeding. I grabbed my phone with trembling fingers and called the only person who was ever on my side.
“Lils?” She sounded worried.
“Dani. Can you pick me up?” My voice cracked as cars zoomed past me.
“What’s wrong?” She was already angry, her voice tight with rage, and I couldn’t stop sobbing.
“Please. I-I need you to p-pick me up,” I cried as headlights blurred. She didn’t even hesitate. The sound of her tires screeching blared through the speaker.
“Okay. Share your location. I’ll be right there.”