Chapter 17 #2
“What I want,” Dex said, his voice dropping to something cold and dangerous, “is for you to understand what you took from me. What I want is for you to know what it feels like to lose the thing that matters most.”
“Then take me instead.”
“No!” The word tore from my throat before I could stop it.
“Take me,” Kieran repeated, never taking his eyes off Dex. “I’m the one who interfered. I’m the one who took her from you. Let her go, and you can do whatever you want to me.”
“Whatever I want?” Dex’s grip loosened slightly as he considered this. “You’d really sacrifice yourself for her? After all this time of keeping her at arm’s length, of treating her like an obligation instead of a choice?”
“She was never an obligation. She was always the choice.”
The words hit me like lightning, cutting through the fear and doubt that Dex was weaving around me. Always the choice. Not just now, not just because of guilt or duty, but always.
“Touching,” Dex said. “But I don’t want to kill you, Kieran. I want you to live with the knowledge that you failed to protect her. I want you to carry that guilt for the rest of your life.”
“The only person who failed her was you.” Kieran’s voice was getting closer. “The only person who hurt her, who tried to destroy her, who made her believe she wasn’t worth choosing.”
“I chose her!”
“You claimed her. There’s a difference.”
Dex’s arm tightened around me again, and I felt his breathing becoming more erratic. “Don’t you dare lecture me about love. You don’t know what love is. Real love fights. Real love doesn’t give up when things get complicated.”
“Real love doesn’t leave bruises,” Kieran said quietly, taking another careful step forward. “Real love doesn’t put bullets in people. Real love doesn’t use fear as a weapon.”
Dex’s grip tightened on me, his breathing becoming more erratic. “Real love does whatever it takes to keep the person you love safe. Even from themselves.”
“Is that what you think you were doing?” Kieran’s voice remained steady, but I could see the tension in his shoulders. “Keeping her safe?”
“I was keeping us together.” Dex’s voice rose, defensive and desperate. “I was fighting for our marriage when she wanted to throw it away over every little argument.”
“Every little argument?” I found my voice, found my anger. “You call putting me in the hospital a little argument?”
“I never meant to hurt you. You know that. You know I love you.”
“That’s not love.” The words came out stronger than I expected, cutting through the fear that paralyzed me. “Love didn’t hunt people through the streets. Love didn’t threaten innocent people to get what it wanted. Love didn’t hold guns to people’s heads.”
“Love does whatever it takes,” he repeated, but there was something desperate in his voice now, something that suggested even he was starting to doubt his own narrative.
“No,” I said, and for the first time since he grabbed me, I felt something other than fear. I felt angry. “Love lets go when holding on causes pain. Love wants the other person to be happy, even if that means being happy without you.”
“You were happy with me. Before he poisoned you against me, before he made you think you deserved better—”
“I do deserve better. I deserve someone who doesn’t use violence to solve problems. I deserve someone who respects my choices, even when they don’t like them. I deserve someone who loves me enough to let me be free.”
“Free?” His voice was getting higher, more unstable. “You think you’re free with him? You think living in his perfect penthouse, working in his office like some charity case—that’s freedom?”
“It’s more freedom than I ever had with you.”
Something in my tone must have gotten through to him because his grip loosened just enough.
I drove my elbow back into his gut as hard as I could.
The impact knocked the wind out of him, loosening his grip just enough for me to break free and dive to the side. The gun went off as I hit the concrete, the bullet ricocheting off the warehouse walls with a sound like thunder.
Then chaos erupted around us.
FBI agents swarmed from every direction, tackling Dex before he could fire again. He fought them, screaming my name over and over, his voice echoing off the concrete until it was finally muffled by distance and restraints.
Kieran reached me first, dropping to his knees beside me and pulling me into his arms while I shook with adrenaline and relief and the aftermath of fear.
“It’s over,” he whispered against my hair, his voice rough with emotion. “It’s finally over.”
Hours later, back at Kieran’s penthouse, I sat curled up on his couch, still wearing the Kevlar vest because taking it off felt like tempting fate. The sun was rising over the city, painting everything in gold and pink, and for the first time in years, I felt completely, utterly safe.
“How are you feeling?” Kieran asked, settling beside me with two cups of coffee.
“Free,” I said, and meant it more than I ever meant anything. “For the first time in my entire life, I felt completely free.”
He smiled, the expression transforming his whole face. “Good. Because I have plans for our freedom.”
“What kind of plans?”
“The kind that involves me telling you every day that you were always the choice. The kind that involves actual dates and flowers and arguments about movies.” He set down his coffee and turned to face me fully.
“The kind that involves me waking up next to you for the rest of my life and never taking for granted that you chose to stay.”
My heart felt like it might burst from happiness. “Is that a proposal, Mr. Cross?”
“It’s a promise, Ms. Winslow. The proposal comes later, when you’re not wearing body armor and we haven’t just survived a hostage situation.”
I laughed, actually laughed, and kissed him. Soft and sweet and full of all the possibilities that stretched ahead of us. When we broke apart, I rested my forehead against his.
“I love you,” I said, the words coming easily for the first time in my life. “I think I’ve loved you since I was seventeen years old.”
“I knew I loved you since then,” he said. “I was too scared to admit it. Too scared I would ruin you.”
“You didn’t ruin me. You saved me.”
“We saved each other.”
And we had. Two broken people who’d learned that sometimes love wasn’t about being whole when you found each other. Sometimes it was about being brave enough to heal together.
I was reaching for him again, ready to kiss him properly, ready to start the rest of our lives, when his phone rang.
He glanced at the caller ID, his expression shifted from contentment to confusion. “FBI. Agent Morrison.”
“Take it,” I said. “It’s probably just a follow-up about Dex.”
But as I watched him answer, as I saw his face change from confusion to shock to devastating grief, I knew this wasn’t about Dex.
This was something that was about to destroy everything we’d just won.
“When?” he asked, his voice barely audible.
A pause.
“Are you sure?”
Another pause, longer this time.
“No, I understand. Thank you for letting me know.”
He hung up slowly, staring at the phone like it had just delivered news of the apocalypse. When he looked at me, his eyes were filled with a pain so deep it took my breath away.
“Kieran?” I whispered. “What is it?”
“It’s Jude,” he said, and I felt my entire world tilt off its axis.
“What about Jude?”
“Willa…” He reached for me, but I was already pulling back, already knowing that whatever he was about to say was going to change everything.
“What about my brother?”
“He was killed in action three days ago.”