Chapter 3
Beatrix
It’s girls’night tonight, and Madison and I are both hanging out in Wren’s living room while we catch up on each other’s week. We’re sipping cocktails and mocktails and eating a million and one delicious snacks that Wren has made for us, including a to-die-for chocolate cake that she’s just put on the menu at her sports bar, West Field, that sits next to the stadium.
“What do you put in this, magic?” I blink as I take another bite.
“Something like that.” Wren gives me a bemused look.
“Is the recipe a secret? I feel like I need this in my lineup.”
“She’s obsessed with baking. I don’t know how you guys do it. I don’t mind cooking a few nights a week but baking with all the measuring and mixing and exacting temperatures—it’s not for me.” Madison takes another swipe at the dip with her cracker and eats it while she shakes her head in disbelief.
Wren laughs. “It’s not that difficult once you get the hang of it. And yes, the recipe is secret-ish, but I can let you in on it as long as you swear to secrecy.”
“For this, I’ll do whatever you want.” I take another bite and close my eyes, savoring how good it is. “Is it just chocolate cake or something fancier? I mean, obviously, there’s chocolate in it, but like… Wow.”
“It’s Better Than Sex Cake.” Wren grins as she pulls out her phone and types away. “Just sent the recipe to you.”
“I’m sorry, what now? I don’t think so. I mean, maybe better than sex with East, but no way is any cake better than good sex,” Madison argues as I grab the recipe Wren just sent and save it to my recipe folder, along with a note that says, “Learn to make A.S.A.P.”
“First of all, I feel the need to defend your brother here, and I don’t think you’ll want the details.” Wren eyes her sister-in-law.
“Ugh. No, definitely not. Please, spare me. Pretend I said nothing.”
“And technically, it’s not better, but it’s damn close. Also… it was sex with East that kind of inspired it.”
Madison makes a disgusted face and pushes the plate with her piece away from her on the coffee table while Wren and I both laugh.
“Cake inspired by sex. I like it,” I say flippantly, grinning as I take another bite and see Madison cringe again.
“How’s the dating app been treating you?” Wren gives me a thoughtful look.
“Meh. I’ve barely looked at the one I downloaded. Not many prospects. Hard to be interested in anyone, honestly.” I shrug.
“Are you still missing him?” Madison asks.
“Missing Rob? No. It’s been what… nearly a year? I’m over him. But sometimes, I miss being in a relationship. Not all the work… But the good parts, you know? Having someone to grab dinner with. Watching a movie before bed. Sex you don’t have to get all dressed up and go to a bar for.” I laugh at the last bit, but Madison and Wren still look worried for me.
“But no dates or hookups have interested you?” Madison gives me a sympathetic look.
“It’s been hard since I’ve been traveling so much. You know that. You’ve been putting work first too. I haven’t really been able to think about it, and when I do, it’s an afterthought. Dating is a hard no for me right now anyway.”
“Why’s that?” Wren takes a sip of her mocktail as she leans back.
“I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. If our business idea to start a PR retreat for athletes will work.” I look to Madison. “If it does work, I’m not sure where I’ll be living since we’ve had trouble finding an affordable place. There’s no sense getting attached to someone new just to say goodbye in a few months when I need to move.”
“Okay, well, we’re definitely going to be a success, so erase any other thought from your mind. But I understand what you mean about not knowing where we’ll live. It’s why I’m still in their cottage.” Madison nods to Wren and then grins at her. “Thanks, by the way, for continuing to tolerate me squatting in your guest house.”
“It has been a great source of entertainment so far, what with the deliveries and listening to you and East bicker.” Wren laughs.
“I wish there was room for another bed, Bea. I’d move you in with me at least.” Madison rolls her lower lip into a pout.
“You could always stay in our guest room?” Wren offers.
“No, I couldn’t do that to you all.” I shake my head.
Wren is already pregnant, opening a new restaurant, and has Madison living in the guest cottage, which she and East built when they first bought the place and were doing massive renovations. I don’t want to be another thing on her list of upkeep and to-dos, especially since our friendship mostly exists on the back of Madison’s and my friendship right now. I love her and want to keep her forever, and part of that means not wearing on her last nerve now that we get to spend some time together.
“Well, if you change your mind, you know where you can come,” Wren adds.
“I appreciate it.”
“Okay. Back to the drought. You can’t date, but you can fuck, right? I mean, is that against your rules? I know you were raised a little fancier than the rest of us, but then Xander is your brother,” Wren muses.
I laugh hard at that. My brother, Xander, was probably the most notorious playboy in the league before my future sister-in-law nailed him down. I have their engagement party to host in Seattle in a few weeks, and there’s a whole lot of prep work I need to be doing to get ready for it. It’s yet another thing on the list that keeps me from browsing singles apps or hitting bars on what would otherwise be free nights. Not that I’m necessarily complaining because I love being able to help Xander and Harper.
“It’s not against the rules per se, but I think I’m bad at it. Like, I don’t even know what apps are good options these days or how to find time for it. The last time I dated before Rob was years ago. I don’t know that I’m prepared for all of that. And what are people even doing for dates now?”
“You’re overthinking this too much. We can find the right apps and things for you to try based on what you want. Are you just looking for the occasional hookup to keep you out of a drought, or are you looking to work your way down your adventure list? How wild are we getting with this? Let’s start there.” Madison gives me a curious look before she takes another sip of her drink. I’ve walked right into this because she always has a plan for any problem.
“My adventure list?” I raise my brows.
“Yeah,” Madison answers matter-of-factly, like I should just know what she’s talking about.
“You don’t have a list of things you want to try?” Wren looks up at me.
“Should I?”
“Not necessarily a literal list. But what about a mental one?” Madison presses.
“I have no idea what you two are talking about. Like sex stuff?”
They both laugh, and Wren shakes her head.
“It doesn’t have to be sex stuff,” Wren explains. “It can be just things you’re challenging yourself to try. A bucket list or whatever. But it can include sex stuff. Especially if you’re single and trying to figure out what you want next time so you’re not stuck with someone who doesn’t have patience.”
“Right. Things that turn you on. Things you want to try. Things you have tried and definitely want to do again?” Madison’s looking increasingly concerned about my lack of list.
“I can’t say that’s a thing I have. No.”
“Oh. We need to make you one. Stat. Get your phone out.” Madison swallows the rest of her drink and motions toward my purse.
“I think we also need to just get her back to having some fun. It’s almost summer. I know there so many things to do with the team, but you should have some fun. Get out and, like, go to the pool or take a hike or visit a museum.” Wren looks at me. “You’re all work and no play. That’s not healthy.”
“The fact that you two workaholics are lecturing me about my workaholism has me worried.”
“Well, we can all be better about it. Support each other in taking some time off and just enjoy life instead of always being on to the next. Right, Mads?” Wren looks between us.
“Sure. Just as soon as I unload the biggest pain-in-the-ass client I’ve ever had.” Madison holds out her hand for my phone.
“You secretly love torturing him,” I tease her about Quentin.
“I mean, I don’t hate it. I’ve been pushing him to work on his lists too.” Madison watches as I search for my phone, which I just put back in my bag and somehow immediately lost.
I extract and unlock it before I hand it over to its fate. She opens the notes list where Wren had given me her secret recipe for the Better Than Sex cake, creates a blank list, and then grins deviously as she starts to type away.
“Her obsession with lists is definitely a kink, right?” I ask as I flash an amused look at Wren.
“It wouldn’t surprise me.” The corner of Wren’s mouth quirks up in a smirk.
“All right. We’ll ease into the kinks. Let’s just make you a list of things you want to try this summer in general.” Madison smirks as she adds a couple of stickers to the note before titling it. “We can call it the Better Than the Ex List.”
“Oh. I love that.” Wren claps her hands together and grabs another cookie off the veritable tower of snacks she made for us. “What’s up first?”
“I don’t know. Now you’ve given me way too many possibilities.” I look to Madison for guidance.
“Okay, so let’s start with something you’ve never done but have always wanted to try.”
“Stargazing?” I shrug.
“Stargazing.” Madison presses her lips together and tilts her head in thought. “I’ve honestly not tried that either. See, that’s a good start. What else?”
“Camping? Maybe? I’m not sold on that, but theoretically, the nature and the s’mores sound like fun.”
“You’ve never been camping?” Wren presses her hand to her chest in surprise.
I shrug sheepishly. It wasn’t exactly high on the list of things to do in the Xavier household where things like fundraising dinners and golf outings with business associates took precedence.
“All right. Well, at the very least, we can set you up out here in the woods with a tent. We have half a dozen because East keeps deciding he needs the latest model. Whatever that even means when it comes to tents. Like… as long as it doesn’t leak and there’s enough room, I’m not sure why it matters. And yet every summer, like clockwork…” Wren shakes her head in disbelief, and Madison and I both laugh.
“Married life sounds like fun,” I muse.
“Don’t get me started. I love that man, but he also knows how to drive me mad.”
“Yeah, I can take you camping if need be. But maybe we can find a cute guy to take you.” Madison raises her brows.
“I mean, I have wanted to try sex outside. Always seems so romantic in the movies when they’re rolling around in a meadow.”
“It’s overrated.” Wren sighs and gives me a doubtful look. “Bugs, leaves where you don’t expect to have them, humidity in the summer… I’m just saying. Go in prepared for the reality rather than the fantasy.”
“Speak for yourself. Some of the best sex of my life was outside.” Madison types the next item onto the list. Wren and I both raise our heads to look at her even though she’s still busy typing.
“Care to enlighten us?” I try to distract her from the list because I think that might be the end of it, and I’m sure she’ll tell me it’s not long enough.
“No. We’re focused on your list. Sex outside because you’re into exhibitionism?”
“No. Not really. I mean, I’m not against it, but I think, if anything, I’d prefer to be on the other end of that scenario. What is that called? Voyeurism? Yeah, voyeurism.”
“Watching can be fun,” Madison muses. “Ooh, what about a sex club then? Have you been to one of those?”
“Can’t say that I have.”
“All right. Voyeuristic experience and possible sex club added to the list.”
“Okay, this is already getting ambitious for me. I need small steps here. First adventures, you know. We’re bouncing from camping in a tent in Wren’s backyard to sex clubs. That’s… a lot.”
“Lists should be ambitious. It’s a goal list. You want to get as much as possible, but it doesn’t have to be everything if you don’t want it to be. You’ve got to challenge yourself and put yourself first, Bea. Get out there and see what you like. This is an opportunity. A chance to have a new you—the one you want without your ex influencing your choices.” Madison gives a little pep talk on her soapbox.
It”s one of the reasons I love her. She’s always up for a challenge and pushes me to expand my horizons. I’ve come leaps and bounds from my quiet, prep-school self since I met her. I might have to amend her list down to size when she’s done though.
“There are lots of other fun things you can try at a sex club, too, if you find a guy to go with,” Wren offers.
“I’d have to find the guy first, one I feel comfortable with, and again… no dating, remember?”
“No dating doesn’t mean you couldn’t find a regular hookup. Someone on the same page as you about the no feelings.”
“And where am I going to find this guy? My free time is spent around the team, and in addition to the obvious problems with that, I have absolutely sworn off athletes for life. If guys aren’t after me for my father’s connections, they’re after me for an in with Xander. No thank you.”
“That’s why you’ve got to get on one of the apps. You can filter those people out. Keep your last name private, and no one has to know who you are. Pick guys who aren’t into sports even. I’m adding that to your list. You need to find a new app to try. I’ll send you my favorites, but you can mix and match and swipe your way to someone who fits your wants. You’re so good at this when it comes to setting up clients. Just use a bit of that magic on yourself.”
“Well I’m glad you believe in me. I have my doubts.” I shrug, nibbling the edge of a cracker as I stare out the window.
“You’re gorgeous, Bea. You’re going to be inundated with dicks the second you open a profile and have to try to pick. The weeding through them is a little exhausting. That’s how you end up just settling for the guy you hate.” Wren jokes about how she met her husband.
“Well… thank you. But it still seems a little overwhelming.”
“If you need help setting up your profile or anything… you’ve got me.” Madison gives me a reassuring look.
“You’re the best, Mads.”
“Okay. So assuming we get you the guy… what’s on the kink list?” Wren asks.
“Doesn’t sex outside and voyeurism count?”
“Sure, but you’ve got to have something besides that, right? Something you can try in the sex club when you visit.” Madison smirks.
“I’ve got nothing.”
“Nothing?” Wren questions me, raising a brow.
“Not anything I can think of.”
“All right. Well, then, I’m adding some suggestions of my own.” Her face turns serious as she types away. A couple of moments into her list, though, my phone vibrates, and she looks up at me. “You have an alert that just says ‘Cooper.’”
“Chaos’s Cooper? Rawlings?” Wren’s interest piques.
“Rob’s brother?” Madison joins in the sudden inquisition.
“I ran into him at the family event. His daughter, Lizzy, wanted to catch me up on things and talk, so he invited me to sit with them. We were chatting, and he asked about the image makeover we’re giving Quentin and wanted to know if it’s possible to do something for him too. He wants to start thinking long-term about when football’s over and what it’s going to take to make that happen.”
“Cooper wants an image makeover?” Wren is the queen of suspicious questions right now.
“I think he just thought the idea was interesting and asked me if there was anything I thought I could do. So I set a reminder to look into his public profile. I only really know Cooper, the dad, so…” I shrug and look to see Wren’s face turned up in surprise.
“He is… Let’s just say, he has a reputation. When he doesn’t have his daughter, his house is the party spot for a lot of the single guys. He’s dated a few celebrities, too, which caused a lot of drama when they came back to Cincinnati and were spotted out together. I was hoping he’d stay with that one actress he dated. She was sweet and came to a couple of team things, but it fizzled out, I guess. I’m curious what he wants to change.”
“Yeah. What’s the angle he’s wanting?” Madison perks up. “Could he be a client for us, do you think?”
“I think he was just interested in sponsorships and a transition when he quits playing in a few years. Whether he needs to tamp down the whole playboy thing to do it. I’m not sure if he wants to be a client full time or not.”
“He could definitely tamp down on the image. Or he could just lean into it. If that’s his thing, some brands love that,” Madison offers.
“True. I just want to see what the general public’s vibe on him is. Is he a favorite on the team?” I look to Wren.
“Oh yeah. He and East are pretty close, except he parties a lot more than East does, so we see him more when he has Lizzy. He has her like every other week, I think. The other weeks, she’s with her mom. So he’s kind of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that way.”
“Interesting.” I sip my drink and mull over what I might be able to do with that. But I can’t help being curious about there being more of a non-dad side to Cooper.
“Well, that’s not great. He probably needs to pick a lane.” Madison glances at me. “Easier to market him for sponsorships if he’s one or the other. I bet you could do some great stuff for him. Maybe it’s worth signing him if he’s interested.”
I nod and watch as Madison looks back down at the list on my phone and grins.
“What?” My brow furrows as I feel a hint of apprehension at the way she’s smirking.
“He should be on the list.” Madison’s grin turns devious.
“Ohhhh.” Wren follows with a whistle, but she grins brightly at the idea. “He would be perfect. Probably knows where all the good clubs are. I like that.”
“Perfect for what?”
“Sex. Obviously.” Madison’s typing away again.
“What? Do not put him on the list! Didn’t you, literally, just talk about him being a client?” I practically choke on my own words. The idea of Cooper and me is absurd.
“Too late. He’s already on it. Better an adventure than a client for you right now.” She grins.
“He’s Rob’s brother, Mads!” I protest.
“That’s bonus points for his eligibility, in my view.” Madison’s eyes light with amusement.
“Because it’ll bring all the drama my way?” I give her sideeye.
“Because you already know and like him. Because, like Wren pointed out, he’s already got a reputation, so it’s not like you’re going to sully it. And three, he’s the brother. What’s not to like about a little revenge sex?”
“And if I take him on as a client?”
“Weren’t you just encouraging me the other day to hook up with my client?” Madison gives me a pointed look, and I press my lips together and roll my eyes.
“That’s different. You’ve already slept with him.”
“A million years ago. It’s not the same.”
“Neither is this!”
Wren’s having a good laugh at the two of us bickering, and I shake my head and down the rest of my drink.
“You’re a bad influence.”
“Tell me that after you’ve checked some of these things off your list.”
Madison saves the list and hands my phone back to me. Wren’s already off to the kitchen to grab some more dessert and a refill for my drink before I look up again. I try to distract myself with another bite of the cake, but now all I can think about is Cooper.