Chapter 26
Beatrix
My mom findsme sitting out in the conservatory, drinking a glass of champagne after I come back downstairs, and staring out the window as the rain cascades down over the glass. She’s the one who taught me about this particular escape room, one that happens to also make an excellent place to come down after good sex before you return to polite society to smile and shake hands, so she can’t be too surprised to find me hiding out in here.
“It’s really coming down out there tonight,” she says softly as she peers out. It’s noteworthy when the rain rises above a soft drizzle.
“It is. Really coming down in there as well.” I give her half a smile so she knows it’s because I’m worried and not because I’m trying to complain.
“You know how the men in this family are.”
“I know, but he could do with a little less of the men in this family. He’s been so kind to me, Mom.”
“He seems like a genuinely kind person. I’m surprised, honestly, given his brother. Although, I guess Rob did survive them a bit better.”
“Rob didn’t register half the insults they lodged at him. He was oblivious since he was so sure everyone loved him. Cooper’s actually self-aware, and he doesn’t deserve it.”
“You think that’s a natural difference or from raising a daughter?” She muses, her eyes still lost in the distance.
“Both.”
“Do his parents know you’re dating?” My mother’s brow furrows as she takes a sip of her own wine.
“I haven’t asked.” It’s technically true.
“I assume his brother doesn’t know.”
“Of course not. I don’t need to stir the hornet’s nest. You know how he is. He doesn’t want me, but he certainly won’t like his brother having me either. Though Cooper’s said he has a steady girlfriend already, so maybe he’ll be too preoccupied to care.”
“How does that work long term? Between the two of you? You spent a lot of time with his family, going on holiday trips and spending the summers at their family home down at that lake house of theirs. It’s going to be a lot of time around your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. There’s a lot of history between the two of you.” Her tone tells me she’s worried for me.
“I haven’t thought that far ahead, Mother. I just enjoy being with Cooper. We get along. He makes me laugh. I love spending time around Lizzy again.” I shrug. “It works right now, and given that I don’t even know where I’ll be in the fall, I’m not trying to plan ahead.”
“So Craig should just try again in the fall then?” She says it deadpan, but when I look at her, I can see the teasing amusement in her eyes. For all of her matchmaking and attempts to get me to come back into the fold, my mother is at least willing to admit defeat and let me have my way sometimes.
“I think Craig is in an unenviable position of following a guy like Cooper no matter when he tries.”
“Ah. I can understand that. Reminds me of Ed.”
“Ed?” I ask.
“Ed was a guy my friends tried to set me up with when your dad went off to law school. Your dad couldn’t decide if he was ready to get married, so we went our separate ways, and along came Ed. On paper, he was great—perfect even. The kind of guy I would have had a crush on and my parents would have loved. But I’d already met Conrad Xavier.” She shrugs and smiles as she stares into the distance. “And no one competed with him, even when he wasn’t around.” She looks back at me. “But thankfully, I hadn’t dated Uncle Gerald first.”
“Well, you have always been better at all this than me.”
“I’m teasing you.” She bumps me gently with her hip. “In the end, I just want to see you happy, Bea. Xander’s finally met his match, Tobias is settling down… it seems like it should be your turn, if you want it.”
“Things aren’t that serious with Cooper, Mom. As you pointed out, there are reasons it probably won’t work out long term. But I’m just trying to be happy for now. Live in the moment instead of trying to paint a perfect future. Every time I’ve tried to do that in the past few years, it’s ended badly, and I’m tired of disappointment.”
“Oh, honey.” She wraps an arm around me and leans her head against my shoulder. “You’ve had a rough go of things. But I believe in you.”
“Do you? You’ve been pretty lockstep with Dad lately about coming home.” I side-eye her, and she lets out a small sigh.
“If you and Madison think you can do this thing, I’m there for you one hundred percent. Your father will come around. He always does. We just want what’s best for you, and there are so many things he can give you that you’d have to fight for elsewhere. It’s hard as a parent to watch you all fight so hard for ground, knowing we could help you, and you not letting us. I understand why you want to do it for yourself. I do. But I just… want to help. I want to see you happy.”
“You’ve got to let me be happy on my own. I know it’s taking me longer than either of you would like, but I’m figuring things out as I go. The things I thought I wanted… the marriage, the kids, the whole package… I don’t know if I want them anymore. I’m trying to figure that out, and I don’t want to run back home just because figuring it out has been a little scary sometimes.”
“I can respect that. But what your dad and brother were saying about you having someone following or harassing you—you have to know that as your mom, that’s different. I just want you close where we could keep you safe.”
“I don’t even know that they’re after me. I think it’s Cooper they’re more concerned about. A fan of his that doesn’t like that he’s dating.”
She pauses for a moment, taking another sip of her drink before she speaks again, and I can tell from the tone, I’m about to get a dose of reality from her.
“So to preface… I support you whatever choice you make, Beatrix. But this guy you’re seeing is your ex-boyfriend’s brother who you likely don’t have much of a future with beyond the summer. And just to date him, you’re enduring harassment from some unknown person who’s made you fearful enough that you’re taking your father’s security recommendations seriously. Are you sure that’s worth it?” She turns a skeptical look on me.
I take a deep breath and then swallow the rest of my champagne.
“So far, it’s been the best summer of my life, despite all of that.”
Her flatlined lips curl just slightly at the corner, enough that you might call it a partial smile, and she tilts her head.
“Well. Then listen to your father. If you won’t come home, at least make sure you’re safe where you are.”
“I will, Mom.”
She hugs me from the side one last time.
“All right. I’m back into the fray. Don’t hide in here too long. It’s not fair to leave your guy with the lions.”
I grin at her, and then she disappears through the rows of plants.