Chapter 14
As the girls head to the dressing rooms in the back, I sink into the couch alongside Damon.
He groans in exhaustion. “I’m indefinitely dying,” he says.
Ignoring him, I pull my phone from my pants pocket and use the moment without the girls to contact the guys at The Compound about the issue Damon brought to my attention earlier today—Serena Santos.
“Seems like a lot of trouble to go to for a maid,” Damon rambles on.
Shaking my head, I sigh as I continue typing my text to Zane, Xander, Killian, and Milo.
“And the way you’ve been toting around that little girl.
Delilah, is it? She has you wrapped around her little finger.
” At that, I click send, shove my phone into my pocket, and lean back against the stiff edges of the settee.
I take a deep breath and try to pop my back before resuming a normal seated position.
It’s been a long day. But seeing Darcy smile and grow more comfortable around me, around us all, has made it worth it.
Although, I’m still not sure why she was upset earlier in the dressing room at Ana’s.
Though, perhaps she wasn’t upset. Perhaps she was just emotional, overwhelmed.
Ana did quite a number on her. She looks…
well, like a completely different person and yet, somehow, more herself than ever.
When I first saw her in her new dress, all I could see were the tears in her eyes, and all I wanted was to make sure she was okay.
I wanted to go to her, pull her into my arms, and hold her, much like I did last night.
But I know she wouldn’t have responded well to that.
And then, when my eyes drifted elsewhere…
When I saw how her dress cups her breasts—creating the most pillowy, bouncy cleavage—wicked thoughts consumed me, thoughts of groping, grabbing, and caressing her.
They left me practically salivating. And that slit exposing a sliver of her thigh…
I just wanted to rip it all the way up and fuck her in a way that makes her forget everyone and everything else.
Those thoughts have continued to pop up throughout the day as I’ve watched her move around the various stores.
Watching her may be my new favorite thing to do.
As I examine her every smile, the way her slender fingers caress the various garments, the way her back arches and her chest rises with perfect posture as she walks, the way the little bone in her neck protrudes when she turns her head just so.
I want to lick along the line of that bone, leaving kisses on her soft, sweet-smelling skin as I do.
I want to hear her moan in pleasure and let those sounds replace any other that may race through her mind.
I want to unleash my inner savage on every inch of her gorgeous body, worshipping her, claiming her in the most natural and yet depraved ways.
Perhaps that’s why I left so quickly, without uttering a single word.
I didn’t trust the words that would escape me, words of lust and desire, words I know are too soon and too inappropriate to express, and, perhaps, even words of disappointment as I found my Darcy painted over and erased with a mask of product that while beautiful, is unnecessary.
I hope she doesn’t think she has to change herself, hide herself.
But, given her past, maybe change is exactly what she wants.
Maybe looking like a different person, or a slightly more put-together version of herself, will help her feel like someone who was never hurt, like someone who wasn’t almost raped and murdered just last night.
I close my eyes then as thoughts of last night return to me.
If I had been two seconds later, she wouldn’t be here right now.
And God only knows what would’ve happened to Delilah without her mother to protect her.
It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and forget, temporarily, the horror that just occurred.
Perhaps, even more so, the horror she’s been living with for far longer than her time in New Orleans.
I bite the inside of my cheek and clench my fists in my lap.
I wish I knew exactly how she’s been hurt so that I can love her in ways that heal that hurt.
And, if she won’t let me, then, at the very minimum, so that I don’t do anything to bring up painful memories from the past. I wish I knew the things that haunt her so that I might help quieten those fears, exorcise those demons.
I wish I could help her see she doesn’t have to change not a single thing to be worthy of kindness and so much more.
But, just as my lustful desires and growing feelings are too inappropriate to express—at least, for now—so too are my questions regarding her past. She’s fragile right now and I don’t want to push her.
And besides, I can’t exactly offer her the same transparency.
Opening my eyes, I turn to find Damon still talking, though I’ve missed the whole discussion. He looks at me then with wide eyes and says, “Well?”
“Well, what?” I ask.
Damon rolls his eyes. “Jesus! You know what, never mind. What are we going to do about Serena Santos? And, for fuck’s sake, stop licking me, you little bastard. I can feel your saliva on my thigh.” Damon scolds Brinkley and I groan as the shop owner gives us a warning look.
“Sorry,” I tell her. Then, directing my attention to Damon, “Have some manners, will you? There are delicate ears near.”
“Fine,” Damon sighs.
We’re both quiet for a moment. I can tell he’s stressed.
While the shopping has kept us busy, all his concerns from this morning are still present.
He’s worried about Ana—both her emotional state and her physical safety.
If there’s another rising threat in New Orleans, he wants it handled and swiftly, for her sake.
And he’s worried I’ll be too distracted with Darcy and Delilah to take care of it.
But he needn’t worry. There’s a reason I have the position I do, a reason they call me the chess master, a reason Alister trusted me to take care of things in his absence.
When it comes down to it, I always get the job done, no matter what it requires of me, no matter what sacrifices I’m forced to make.
Although, I suppose the truth is, this is the first time I’ve ever really had anything or anyone to sacrifice.
As thoughts of what might lie before me flood me, I shove them aside and offer him some reassurance instead.
Perhaps my words also help to reassure myself.
“Look, you don’t need to worry about Serena.
” He looks at me but doesn’t say a word.
“I don’t know what she’s up to, if anything, but I’m going to find out.
I just texted the guys to review surveillance footage to see what her man was up to prior to his swift exit and to see if there were travel records of any other known associates entering New Orleans.
I owe her a visit, but I don’t want to go into it blind.
And it’s not like I can just leave New Orleans at a moment’s notice, given the current situation. ” I nod toward the dressing rooms.
“I need at least a month to get Darcy settled and during that time, our guys can find us some answers and you can get married. In the meantime, don’t worry about it.
Ana needs you and you need her. When the time comes to handle Serena, it’ll be my mission, not yours.
I won’t pull you away from Ana again, not so soon after, and not unless I absolutely have to.
Besides, Serena and I have a long-standing relationship. She’ll only deal with me.”
Damon raises his brow. “Long standing relationship, huh?” I shake my head. Resting my forearms on my thighs, I hunch forward and stare blankly ahead. Suddenly, I wish I had a glass of bourbon.
Serena and I come from the same world and have a certain understanding of one another that led to us having a unique relationship.
She’s the only child of the former leader of the cartel.
Now Queen of an organization that doesn’t take kindly to women, she must be extremely careful not to lose her crown or her head—the type of careful that keeps her from having any real relationships, romantic or otherwise.
While I don’t have the same burdens as her, I understand the dangers of standing by my side.
It’s something we all deal with. It’s the reason Alister gave everything up, hoping he could return one day and live happily and freely with his love, Ariana.
But being destined for a loveless life doesn’t mean one is without certain desires.
So, over the years, Serena and I have explored those desires together.
My visits usually aren’t ones of a purely diplomatic nature.
Perhaps that’s part of the reason I’ve resisted going for so long, subconsciously or otherwise.
I’ve been busy, yes. But, perhaps, I’ve also been awakened to a new possibility, a new desire, in the wake of Alister’s absence.
And that new desire has made my former ones of a carnal nature feel so shallow, so unfulfilling, as if casual intimacy was ever fulfilling.
Perhaps that awakening inside of me is what allowed me to recognize Darcy as I did when she walked into that bar.
Perhaps if my heart was still closed, as it had been for so many years, I wouldn’t have.
I would have seen a beautiful, sexy woman and nothing more.
I wouldn’t have seen her soul. I wouldn’t have felt her energy.
I would’ve stood up for her and helped her, but I wouldn’t have invited her into my life and home.
And I wouldn’t feel the things I do at this very moment.