Chapter 31
“Gio, where are we going?” I laugh as Gio covers my eyes with his hands, leading me off the walking trail.
“You’ll see. We’re almost there.” I haven’t had time to do much exploring since my arrival.
Most of my time is spent tending to the house and tending to Delilah.
While my nights are spent with Gio, we haven’t ventured from the house unless it’s a trip to the French Quarter for dinner or to see Damon and Ana or a night like tonight.
Whatever he has planned, it’s sure to be exciting.
Although, as the sounds of crickets chirping and the trickle of water reach me, I suddenly become nervous.
“And open,” Gio says, removing his hands as we come to a stop.
I do and find us standing on a sort of bridge over a massive pool.
The sight of the dark blue water, illuminated by under-water lights and the moon and stars above, twists my stomach.
It’s not that I don’t know how to swim. It’s that swimming requires very minimal clothing.
And even though it’s dark out, it’s not dark enough for me to feel comfortable being half naked in front of Gio.
But, before I can come up with an excuse to get out of this, Gio points toward a building at the far end of the pool.
My mouth falls open at the sight of it. It’s massive, like a castle or chateaux, given the French design.
It’s too far away to note much about it other than its general shape and size, but I can imagine in the daylight it’s exquisite.
“Wait, this has been here the whole time?” Gio nods, then sits.
His legs dangle over the bridge. I follow suit.
“How did I not realize? I mean, I just…”
I could tell Sophia wasn’t joking when she said her family owned over half of New Orleans. But this, this adds a whole new meaning to the kind of wealthy she and her family are. Perhaps even the kind of wealthy Gio is. I’m sure he is paid handsomely for his services.
“It’s the trees. Our place is hidden away intentionally for privacy.
But the grounds are ours to use. If you keep walking along the trail in that direction, it’ll bring you to the lake’s edge.
” I nod, though my eyes still wander around in disbelief.
“I know you haven’t gotten out much, but you mentioned you liked walks outdoors.
I thought it might be nice to change up the scenery tonight. ”
“Wow.” I take a deep breath and place my hand on top of Gio’s.
“This place is beautiful.” It’s then that I lift my head to the sky and admire the stars.
Where we sit is in the middle of a relatively large backyard, for lack of a better description.
Trees surround the perimeter of it yet do not impede our view.
It’s kind of magical, honestly. It’s dark and quiet, save for the crickets.
And, despite sitting out in the open, this feels like the most private moment I’ve shared with Gio since I don’t have to worry about Delilah wandering out and overhearing us.
Not long ago, this would be scary. Maybe that’s why he’s waited so long to bring me here.
“I’m glad you like it,” he says as he interlocks our fingers.
I look down, admiring our hands. This feels like one of those moments that leads to kissing or sex.
He never said what kind of memory he wanted us to make tonight.
Am I ready? Maybe. Maybe I really want certain things.
Maybe I really want him to kiss me, touch me.
I mean, who am I kidding? Of course, I do.
But… As my eyes drift from our hands to the water beneath us, my stomach twists yet again with nerves and insecurities.
I’ve told Gio about my past. But it’s not like I went through every account.
He doesn’t know about my scars or the depths of my body insecurities.
He doesn’t know everything and getting naked means he’ll see everything.
I know I don’t have to hide from him, but maybe I’m still hiding from myself.
Maybe I’m not ready to tell him, show him… Maybe I’m not ready to re-live it.
“So, um…” I pull my hand from his and look toward the main house.
“Being here makes me think of the conversation I had with Sophia. She said you are family. But it occurred to me you don’t really talk about your actual family or your childhood or Miami.
I mean, aside from your mom insisting you eat your vegetables and the one story about the lemon tree.
Why is that?” I ask, turning to face him.
“Wow, subtle shift.” He lowers his gaze to the pool with a strained smile on his face.
Are his cheeks red with embarrassment or nerves or anger?
Perhaps I shouldn’t pry just to avoid intimacy.
Though, I’d be lying if I said I’m not curious.
I’m still learning about him. And, since he can’t share much about his work and thus, daily life, maybe his past life should be a topic of conversation.
“Well, what would you like to know, angel?” He asks, turning towards me.
I shrug my shoulders. “Anything. Small or big. I just…want to know you.” Gio nods, though he remains quiet. It looks as if he’s lost in thought. There’s obviously a reason he doesn’t talk about his past, just like there are reasons I don’t like to talk about mine.
“Well, the truth is, you and I have something in common,” he says then.
“I don’t talk about my childhood, mostly because I feel like it ended too soon.
Things were great up until I turned fifteen.
We had a house full of love and laughter, even dancing.
You know, having an Italian dad and a Mexican mom, there was always family around, good food, and tons of fun.
But…” Gio takes a deep breath, and I place my hand on his shoulder.
Uh oh. “Then my mom died. She was murdered, to be exact.”
Gio drops his eyes and I’m thankful he doesn’t see the surprise on my face. Murdered? Though he doesn’t cry, the muscles in his body tense. I continue to rub his back just as he’s done for me as he collects himself.
“Everything changed when I lost her. It was like the light in me went out. Along with it went the love in our house. My dad quickly moved on to someone else and buried himself in work, which made me angry and drove a wedge between us. Yet, my siblings and I kind of followed his lead. We buried our pain and started working in the family business. And, I guess, somewhere along the way, we just all grew apart from each other.”
Gio looks at me then. The tension in his body releases.
“I was nineteen when I met Alister, Sophia’s older brother, at college.
I began working for him and his family after graduation and I’ve been in New Orleans ever since.
It was nice to get out of Miami, nicer to feel like I had a family again.
So, me not talking about my past isn’t because I don’t want you to know me.
It’s just…not who I am anymore. I don’t know, it just feels like an entirely different life. ”
I nod. With any luck, my far-more-recent past will feel like an entirely different life one day too. “I’m sorry about your mom, about all of it.” I remove my hand from his shoulder blade and lower my eyes to the space between us.
“It’s okay. I’d like to say that’s the worst of my trauma.
Also like you, it’s not. But…” Gio places his hand on my thigh.
“I didn’t bring you out here just to sit and talk.
It won’t be long now before it’s too cold to swim.
” He tilts his head toward the pool as his lips draw into a mischievous half smile.
There’s a twinkle in his eyes too. It makes me blush and again, my body is riddled with anxiety.
Though, I understand his desire to change the subject.
Gio stands, pulling me up with him. “Gio, wait!” Before I can even process what’s happening, he rips his shirt off. “Okay, wow.” I cover my mouth with my hand. Did I just say that out loud? He laughs.
“Come on. Memories, remember? Besides, we did a lot of walking tonight. The water will help relieve any sore muscles.” He removes his pants then, standing before me in nothing but a pair of black boxers.
Knowing what the sight of his chest does to me, I keep my eyes trained on his. No way am I looking down there.
“I bet it would feel nice. I just…” Instinctively, I wrap my arms around myself, covering my stomach. “I just don’t feel fully comfortable.”
“With?” Gio raises his eyebrows. It’s then that I look down and focus my eyes on my shoes.
“Darcy, hey, what’s wrong?” He steps toward me and, bringing his finger to my chin, directs me to look at him.
I do. God, he looks so good. Why can’t I just get over this mental hurdle?
He’s already told me how he feels about me.
It’s still hard for me to believe or understand.
But I know I shouldn’t be scared or uncomfortable or insecure with him. I just…
“There are things I don’t talk about too,” I say then.
“The short version is, I used to be bullied for being bigger. I was so insecure, and I didn’t have a mom to help me through it.
I think it’s part of the reason I was so easy for my ex to manipulate.
And then… He made his displeasure with my body very well known.
He didn’t just beat me, he verbally degraded me.
And then, there are my scars.” I bite my lip and lower my gaze once more.
Thankfully, Gio lets me. Though not without pulling me into his arms.
As I rest my cheek against his chest, my voice becomes really quiet. “I can’t look at my body without hearing the things he used to say to me or without seeing the marks he left on me. I hate—”
“Don’t,” Gio says then. “Don’t you dare say you hate yourself or your body.
” Though his words are firm, he remains gentle.
He kisses me atop my head. “You don’t need to hide from yourself just because someone else couldn’t see you, just because someone else hurt you. And you don’t need to hide from me.”
He steps back, so that he can look me in the eye.
“I see you, Darcy—all of you. And I assure you, there was never anything wrong with you, nor is there anything wrong with you now.” He lifts the hem of his boxer, revealing his upper thigh.
There I find a scar about two inches in width.
Perhaps a stab wound? “We all have scars. They don’t define us.
And, as for you…” He shakes his head, looking me up and down in a way that makes me feel naked.
“Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe you. ”
I bite my lip once more as tears well in my eyes.
Once again, he pulls me into his arms and holds me until I regain my sense of calm.
Gio always knows just what to say to me.
He has this way of making me feel…so many things.
But it’s not exactly a magic cure for years of abuse and insecurity.
“Maybe I could just wear your t-shirt. It might be long enough to cover most of me.”
Gio rubs my back. “Of course, baby steps. Although, I do hope one day you’ll believe me when I tell you you’re perfect, Darcy. You don’t need to cover up. You don’t need to hide or be ashamed.”
“Maybe one day, I will. Maybe one day I’ll be able to see myself through your eyes.” Rather than his.