Mine to Love (Safe Harbor Series Book 5)

Chapter 1

Miles Kirby snagged a glass of bourbon and strolled to the other side of the pool. The sun beat down on his face. Thank God his brother and his bride hadn’t required ties at this wedding. If they had, Miles would have not only been sweating, but he would have been uncomfortable as hell. It was bad enough his mother demanded he wear a decent pair of slacks and a button-down shirt versus his usual jeans and T-shirt, which considering this had been a family only event, it would have been fine. But to avoid the argument, he did what his mother requested.

He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. Emmerson was a lucky man and Miles was damn happy for his brother. But all these weddings and babies had certainly put Miles in a funk.

Or perhaps it had been something else.

He’d spent the entire day trying not to think about his sexy neighbor, but try as he might, she was all he could think about. It drove him batshit crazy. The woman had turned him down every single time he asked her out and part of him understood why.

Didn’t make the rejection any easier to swallow.

His entire family had surrounded the happy couple. There was laughter and tears of joy.

“Here’s to Emmerson and Rumor,” his father said with a raised flute.

His brother and his new bride were so disgusting sometimes it made Miles want to gag. Only, his heart had a different reaction. It swelled with pride and bliss for his brother, it truly did.

But now Miles was the last man standing. The only Kirby boy who wasn’t married. How dare all his brothers run off and tie the knot.

To make matters worse, Emmerson’s new bride was expecting their first child. Now he was the only one left who didn’t have a kid. Or two. Or three. Well, Emmett was still waiting for that miracle to happen, but this time the adoption would come through. Miles just knew it.

But with all these flipping babies, his mother seemed to more than enjoy reminding him of his single status every chance she got. It had never bothered him before. He could always shrug it off because he didn’t care about such things. Sharing a bed for anything other than mutual gratification wasn’t in his wheelhouse. He didn’t have the bandwidth for relationships. Nor the tolerance. Not because he wasn’t a caring man. He was. But he liked his life simple. Without complications. And women complicated the fuck out of it.

And there was that other thing. The thing that reminded him he wasn’t good enough.

But he constantly told himself it wasn’t that. It was the entanglement of a lady and being tied down. He’d attempted it once. And it had gone to shit before it really got off the ground. It wasn’t worth it. For more than one reason.

Sure, all of his sisters-in-law were great women who complemented his brothers, not ruled their lives. He and all his brothers still got together for poker nights. They went fishing. Did all the things they did before marriage and kids.

But it wasn’t as often and there were times family life just got in the way. He couldn’t begrudge his brothers that. Besides, he loved his nieces and nephews. And all his sisters-in-law. He enjoyed the big family barbecues and birthday parties. Every last one of them.

Only now, he was the last single man and everyone looked at him differently, even though his brothers said they didn’t. He knew damn well Seth and Nathan thought he was nuts. They couldn’t understand his aversion to being in a relationship and lately, neither could he.

The rest of his brothers? Well, they sort of got it. But only because they’d been sucker punched in the gut by a woman, leaving them brokenhearted.

That had never happened to Miles. Not even by Trixi and he had cared about her. A lot. More than anyone else he’d ever dated. But he knew nothing of love. Had never experienced it. Wasn’t sure he ever wanted to, in part, thanks to his mother and those of his brothers who had their souls stomped on.

However, it was more than that and Miles chose to ignore the real reason he never allowed himself to get serious. The one time he came close, he got reminded real fast of all the reasons he’d never make for a good husband. Or father.

He eased into a chair at the table on the far side of the pool and stared at Emmerson and Rumor. He knew the pains they had gone through to get to this moment. Rumor was damn fucking lucky to be alive. Poor girl had been running from bad guys for fifteen years, constantly looking over her shoulder, until she landed in Lighthouse Cove.

Thank God for small favors.

This had truly been her safe harbor, as it had been for all of his sisters-in-law.

The sun hung high over the big beach house, owned by Miles’ mom and her second husband. It had been a picture-perfect day for a poolside wedding in front of the ocean. Miles watched as Emmerson kissed his new wife with his hand firmly planted on her midsection. Emmerson would make for a great father, and he couldn’t have picked a better woman to share in parenthood. The man deserved a bit of happiness in his life, especially when it came to women. That man, in the past, had piss-poor taste when it came to choosing ladies for long-term relationships.

And he wasn’t any better at finding the right ones for friends with benefits either.

That’s because Emmerson was the kind of man who needed a partner, only it took him his entire life to mend a broken heart and let a woman like Rumor heal it.

While Rumor hadn’t an easy start to her life in Lighthouse Cove, and she came with her own wounds and set of baggage, she was exactly what Emmerson needed and they made for a spectacular couple. Even Miles could see that.

He was truly thrilled for them and wanted the best for their growing family.

But it didn’t change the sudden shift in his emotions. He’d been a confirmed bachelor his entire life. Unlike all of his brothers, he had thought he never wanted—or deserved—a family. The mere idea had made him break out in hives.

Even when he turned forty, he still didn’t want to settle down.

Yet the second Rumor stole his brother’s heart, everything shifted. Miles couldn’t figure out why, not that he’d spent too much time trying and he’d certainly not chatted about it with anyone. But he found himself wanting more than a roll in the hay here and a short-lived fling there. Besides, as his family constantly joked, he’d run out of women to date in Lighthouse Cove.

Miles sipped his bourbon and eyed the groom as Emmerson strolled across the pool deck. “Hey, man.” Miles lifted his drink. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so wide before.”

“I take it you’ve heard the good news like everyone else in this family. Before me.” Emmerson set his drink on the table and pulled up a chair. “I should be pissed at the lot of you, but that would mean I’d have to be mad at my wife and how could I be angry at that sweet thing.”

Miles laughed. “I’ve seen the two of you fight and you always lose.” He slapped his brother on the back. “Congratulations. On both the nuptials and the baby. I couldn’t be happier for you.”

“Then why are you sitting over here, all by yourself, with a sourpuss look on your face?” Emmerson clanked his drink against Miles’ before taking a swig.

Miles had a special relationship with each of his brothers. They all did. And not a single one of them ever got jealous. They were good that way, regardless of age differences. Seth and Nathan, the two oldest, were tight. Miles and Jameson, being the two youngest, had their own bond. The three in the middle, Rhett, Emmett, and Emmerson, had been as thick as thieves growing up.

But that didn’t stop each of them developing side relationships. And Miles and Emmerson had been each other’s sounding boards for the last couple of years. They owned a boat together. They went on fishing trips together.

However, that had been because they were the two single dudes left.

Not anymore.

“Avoiding Mother.” Miles cocked his head. “Now that you’ve tied the knot, she’s in rare form and it’s starting to really piss me off.”

“I bet she is, which is why Rumor’s over there chatting with her about the baby’s room.” Emmerson leaned in. “Which we have no intention of letting Mom decorate, but Rumor thought you might be avoiding Mom and maybe even Dad too. They shouldn’t be putting the pressure on you at our wedding.”

“Dad’s nowhere near as bad. Actually, he didn’t say one word when I didn’t bring a date. I think he was pleased that I left the flavor of the month at the ice cream shop. As if I ever brought anyone to a family gathering before. But Mom was all over that shit. She told me the family’s lopsided, whatever the fuck that means.” Miles didn’t mean to sound short. Or even resentful. At least not about himself. This was Emmerson and Rumor’s special day. The focus shouldn’t be on Miles and his decision to remain single for the rest of his life.

“That’s an odd thing to say, even for Mom.” Emmerson leaned back in his chair. “I’ll say something to her. It’s really none of her business and it’s obviously got you in a foul mood.”

“I’m sorry, man. I don’t mean to be. I really don’t.” He ran a hand over his jaw, letting his thumb and forefinger come to a point at his jaw. He sighed. “You and Rumor might have only been engaged for two weeks, but we all knew a couple of months ago it was only a matter of time. The two of you were talking about it.”

“Rumor and I made the decision two months ago. We even had a date in mind. I just wanted to give her a proper proposal. Make it special for her,” Emmerson said. “I’ve been watching what Mom and even Dad have been doing to you and I’m sorry. It’s worse than anything she’s ever done or said to me.” Emmerson held up his hand. “But it’s just because you’re the only one of us who has ever specifically stated you’re never getting married or having kids and while I get your reasons, I don’t agree. The rest of us have always wanted it, even if I thought I gave up on the idea.”

Miles laughed. “You never gave up on it; you just had to wait for the right woman to knock down your walls.”

“That may be true,” Emmerson said. “But I have to ask, and don’t get pissed. You haven’t dated in months, which isn’t like you. What’s going on?”

That was a loaded question and one he wasn’t sure he really wanted to get into. But it did open the door to a different conversation. “You know, Nathan, Seth, Rhett, and even Emmett have different memories of Mom and Dad’s marriage than you, me, and Jameson do.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Emmerson cocked his head.

“They remember the good times. We remember the bullshit.”

“That’s crap. They were older and saw all of it.” Emmerson arched a brow. “And I know where you’re going. Nathan and Seth got married young. But so did Jameson.”

“Jameson was looking for someone to love him because he didn’t feel like he fit in. He just didn’t know why. And it was all our mother’s fault.”

“No. It was Dad’s too for lying.” Emmerson took a sip of his drink. “None of this has to do with why you’re not dipping into any dating pool. It does have a shit ton to do with why you don’t do relationships and I’m not even going to start in on that,” Emmerson said. “But I thought you were going to ask your neighbor to come today. I told you that Rumor and I were fine with that. Rumor loves working with her at Safe Harbor Café and every time I go in there, she’s so sweet. She seems like a really good person. And her brother has a wicked sense of humor for someone on the spectrum.”

Leave it to Emmerson to bring up Liberty. The one woman who had turned down the Miles charm. It happened, but it didn’t happen often. Miles understood why and her reasons were twofold. Both were reasonable, and both should make him stop trying.

“She’s cool.” Miles nodded, wondering how much he should tell Emmerson. Not much was kept in the vault when it came to his family. Not because they all gossiped about each other, but because they all cared. He valued that about his family. Loved that about each and every one.

But sometimes it was annoying as fuck.

“She had plans with Gabriel,” Miles said. When Miles had strolled across the yards to ask Liberty, she’d mentioned taking Gabriel to the movies, but she hadn’t actually said when.

Liberty had moved in two months ago with her special needs little brother, who wasn’t so little. Nope. He was a grown-ass man at twenty-two. Funny as hell guy with a sense of humor that had Miles in stitches half the time. It had taken Gabriel a good three weeks to warm up to Miles, but now that he was working at the auto shop, they were like two peas in a pod.

His sister, on the other hand?

She still struggled to understand why Miles enjoyed her brother.

Miles knew what it was like to be an outcast. He’d struggled all through school because of his learning disabilities, and he’d tried to explain that to Liberty, but they’d been interrupted, yet again, by her fucking prick of an ex-husband.

“I’m sorry she couldn’t come, but glad you at least asked.” Emmerson lowered his gaze and leaned closer. “You like her and don’t try to tell this old man otherwise.”

“Old man? Is that what Rumor is calling you these days instead of Mr. Saucy, all because you won’t let her?—”

“Shut the fuck up.” Emmerson shook his head before dropping it back and downing the last drop of his drink. “This family’s obsession with my sex life is fucking weird.”

“Only because you’re the one who constantly got caught with his pants down when we were kids.”

Emmerson held up three fingers. “Three damn times and no one will ever let me live it down, including my wife.”

“She’s the best damn thing that has ever happened to you.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Emmerson said. “And stop changing the subject. You’re so damn good at doing that, it drives me crazy. We’re talking about you. And Liberty.”

Miles lifted his drink and took a long slow slip. He swirled it around in his mouth, letting his taste buds get their fill of the rich wood flavor before swallowing. “There’s nothing to discuss.”

“I don’t believe that for one minute. As a matter of fact, I think she’s more the reason you’re sitting over here by yourself than Mom’s insanity.”

Emmerson was only half-right because their mother had gotten under Miles’ skin with her constant badgering. The only question was, would Miles own it?

Fuck it. He could at least tell his brother some of it, although Emmerson didn’t need a recantation of Miles’ insecurities. Emmerson already knew and had chimed in his two cents years ago.

“Her ex-husband keeps coming around,” Miles said. “She doesn’t seem to like that or him. But she puts up with it because of Gabriel.”

“Ah, I see. He’s put a damper on anything happening between you and Liberty.” Emmerson nodded. “That would put me in a shitty mood too.”

“It’s more than that. It’s her little brother. He adores Charlie and because of how Gabriel is, Liberty can’t break that bond. I respect that, but I can see the pain in that girl’s eyes and it’s got my mind and my gut going down a dangerous path. I can’t put a lid on it, even though it’s none of my damn business.”

“Do you know why they got divorced?”

Miles shook his head. “I’ve never had the chance to talk with her that long or have a deep conversation. But it doesn’t matter. I’m going to have to let this one go. Besides, even if something did happen between us, it’s not like it would go anywhere. We all know what I’m like and long-haul relationships and me do not mix.”

“Don’t get pissed, because I’m not being Mom here, but that’s bullshit. You choose to be this way, and I’m not judging. Take it from a man who had one foot out the door in every relationship until Rumor and that’s exactly what you’re doing right now.” Emmerson cocked his head. “If you go into anything believing it won’t last, then it won’t. Trust me, I know that from experience.” He tapped his finger on the table. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do or how to live your life. I wouldn’t do that to you. But what I am telling you, is that if you like this girl and want to see if you have it in you, then go for it. Otherwise, you’ll never know.”

Miles shifted in his seat, tugging at his slacks. God, how he hated anything with pleats. His heart fluttered in a manner he wasn’t accustomed to. The words his older brother spoke filled his brain and something unfamiliar snaked through his system. No one had ever quite broken it down that way before. Most of his family pushed him hard. Told him he had to be lonely, which he wasn’t. Or that he was avoiding life. Again, that’s not what he was doing. He had no regrets. Not a single one. He loved every second of how he’d lived right up until a few months ago. He couldn’t even say Liberty had been the catalyst, because he’d been feeling this itch before he met her, but she certainly tossed him over the edge.

Emmerson was right. He liked this girl more than he’d liked most. He might have been what most people called a player, but he treated women with respect. All the ladies he dated received his full attention. He was up front with them, telling them he couldn’t fully commit. But he wasn’t a cheater. He never dated more than one girl at a time, and when he was with someone, that woman was the only one he had eyes for, until it was time to call it quits.

Sure, he’d broken a few hearts. He’d had more than one woman call him a few choice words. One even tossed a lamp at his head when he broke up with her, but he’d let that relationship go on a little too long. And frankly, he deserved a slap across the face for that one. However, he’d honestly truly cared for Trixi. Even if he hadn’t ended up being a jerk in the end, her father was right, Miles wasn’t good enough for her and he had to accept that fact.

A concept he struggled with when it came to Liberty, and why he was in a sour mood.

But he wasn’t as bad as people made him out to be. He didn’t have as many ex-girlfriends as the town made it seem. He was just a guy who didn’t want to get married, for more than one reason. One of which was, he didn’t want to suffer what his father had gone through. Or what some of his brothers had experienced, but witnessing that firsthand had been almost as bad as being the one who had to survive it.

“By that contemplative look on your face, I’d say I struck a chord,” Emmerson said softly in that kind and caring voice he had. As kids, Emmerson always knew when to play the asshole older brother, when to be the friend, and when to straddle the two.

This was one of those moments and Emmerson did it well.

“Yeah, you did,” Miles admitted. “I’m just not sure what to do about it. There are always two things that get in my way.”

“You know what I think of both of them.” Emmerson lifted his drink and sipped it with the same arched brow their father had when he was making a point and he knew he was spot-on.

Miles hated that expression on his dad and it was worse on his older brother.

“There’s also the fact she could still be hung up on her ex,” Miles added for good measure.

“Only one way to find out,” Emmerson said.

Miles nodded. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Enough of the heavy stuff. How’s Gabriel working out at the shop?” Emmerson asked.

Miles smiled. He adored that young man. Gabriel would light up like a lightning storm offshore when something clicked in his brain while he was working on a vehicle. It took him a little longer to get there, but sometimes that was half the fun. “He’s great when he’s under the hood of a car, but struggles when customers come in. I get it. And he’ll probably always be like that. He’s gotten pretty comfortable with me and everyone else who works for me, so we’ve devised a system. Anytime he’s in the garage, and someone rolls in, he makes a beeline for one of us, instead of letting the customer approach him, because that doesn’t always work out well and he ends up feeling horrible. I don’t want that for him, and neither do any of my customers, who have been so kind to him.”

“I’m glad people are treating him well. He can’t help being on the spectrum.”

“The thing is, once he’s used to you, he’s fine. I think something else happened to him along the way, but I don’t know that for sure.”

“You’re a good man for taking him under your wing. Most people wouldn’t.” Emmerson smiled. “Speaking of which. I need to bring my personal car in for service. Can I do that tomorrow?”

“Of course,” Miles said. “But aren’t you and Rumor going to take any kind of a honeymoon?”

“I got us a room tonight at Melinda’s B and B. In a couple of weeks, we’re going down to Key West for a long weekend, if she’s feeling up to it. Idiot me thought her getting sick this morning was her having cold feet, not morning sickness. She’s still not feeling too great and it’s been going on all week. So, we’ll have to see how that plays out.”

“I sure hope you can go, but having a baby kind of trumps a honeymoon.”

“No truer words have been spoken.” Emmerson smiled. “I also need to sell my motorcycle.”

“No.” Miles glared. “Rumor’s making you get rid of it?”

“I wouldn’t say making me, but she did make some strong arguments about us being parents and I thought it might be time. Besides, I drive it so rarely these days anyway. So, if you want it, I’ll give it to you. Otherwise, I thought maybe you could find someone to purchase it.”

“My bike riding days ended a few years ago when I crashed mine.” Miles laughed, rubbing his knee. That accident had scared the crap out of him. Talk about seeing your life flash before your eyes. “But I’m happy to put a for sale sign on it at the shop. I’m sure it will sell quickly.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime.” Miles pointed. “Here comes your beautiful bride.”

“Hey, babe.” Emmerson patted his legs.

Rumor smiled as she wrapped her arm around Emmerson’s shoulders and eased onto his lap. “Well, your mother thinks we should name our baby, Emmerson Stephen Dalton Kirby if it’s a boy and if it’s a girl?—”

“Rebecca Alison Maxwell Kirby,” Emmerson and Miles both said at the same time and burst out laughing.

“I don’t think it’s funny. I’m not naming my child either of those things. First, I don’t think your father would appreciate his name taking a back seat to Steve. Second, that’s too fucking long and no offense, honey, but we’re not having a junior. And third. Really? Rebecca? I love your mom, but has she always been this self-centered and I just missed it? Oh, where does Alison and Maxwell come from? She didn’t say.”

“Alison is her middle name and Maxwell is her maiden name.” Miles waggled his brows. “Welcome to the family, sister-in-law.”

“No. Just no.” Rumor shook her head.

“I agree.” Emmerson kissed his wife’s hand. “To all of it. But I do have one request that I’d like to make right here.”

“What’s that?” Rumor planted a kiss on her husband’s cheek.

“That Miles is our child’s godfather,” Emmerson said proudly.

Miles opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He had eleven nieces and nephews but was not a godfather to any of them. He didn’t resent that fact. There were seven brothers. And some of his brothers’ wives had other family to consider.

“I love that idea,” Rumor said. “What do you say, Miles?”

“I’d be honored.” He waggled his finger. “As long as that doesn’t require dirty diaper changing.”

“Oh. It does. And lots of babysitting.” Rumor stood. “Come on, Mr. Saucy. Let’s go cut that cake so we can get out of here and head to Melinda’s place. I’ve got some handcuffs with your name on them.”

Miles burst out laughing. “If you ever get him in those, this family is going to need pictures as proof.”

“Not going to happen.” Emmerson took his wife by the hand and meandered toward the other side of the pool.

Miles rose and followed two paces behind. He’d have a piece of cake and say his goodbyes. Time to change his attitude, and his approach.

If he crashed and burned, so be it. At least he’d tried.