Chapter 10
The night sky filled with a million stars and normally, Liberty would love to sit there and count them. But not tonight. There were too many other things on her mind and every time she tried to clear it, her brain filled with all her problems and bad decisions.
She checked her watch. It was a little past ten and Gabriel still hadn’t emerged from Miles’ garage. Thankfully, he’d left his phone on the kitchen table, so she knew he wasn’t texting or calling Charlie.
But that meant he was in there stewing in his thoughts, not even communicating with Miles.
Where the hell was that man anyway?
Since she’d known Miles, she’d learned he was a creature of habit. More so than most people. He got up early every day. Even on those days he wasn’t working. He didn’t stay out late, if he went out at all. When he did venture out after work, it was with his family. For a man who was known as a ladies’ man, he didn’t act like one.
When he’d raced home a couple of hours ago and hopped into his truck, he hadn’t had time to talk. He mumbled something about Emmerson needing him, but that was it. He did, however, take the time to spend five minutes with Gabriel.
Miles was always good about stuff like that.
Lights cut through the dark street. The sound of his powerful engine roared as he pulled into his driveway. He waved as he got out of the pickup before disappearing into his garage.
She sighed.
It was possible she might not see him tonight and she didn’t have the bandwidth or the energy to chase him down.
Her cell buzzed.
She lifted it and tapped the screen.
Lucy Ann: Is there any chance we can move your shifts around? Rumor is in the hospital.She’s fine. The babies… yup… twins… are fine. But she’s out of commission for a little while. Maybe even the entire pregnancy. I need someone on nights more than I do mornings. I know that might not be possible. But I’m asking everyone.
Liberty thought about that for a moment.
Liberty: I could swing tomorrow night. The rest of this week might be tough unless I find something for Gabriel to do.
Lucy Ann: I just heard back that I have all nights covered this week except tomorrow. If you could swing that, I’d been forever grateful. We can then all regroup and figure out a schedule that works for everyone.
Liberty: I can make that work.
Liberty glanced toward Miles’ place. Still no movement from inside the garage. She decided on texting Miles.
Liberty: Can you come over for a second? I need to talk with you.
She set her phone on the small table and contemplated texting Rumor. No. It was too late. Whatever happened that sent her to the hospital, Liberty would find out soon enough.
Twins. Wow. That was some big news.
Five minutes ticked by before Miles emerged.
No Gabriel.
“Hey.” Miles climbed the stairs to her porch and took a load off. He stretched out his legs and smiled. “Emmerson is going to have twins.”
“I heard.”
Miles arched his brow. “That news traveled fast. I wonder if that means I get to be a godfather twice.”
“That’s a question for your brother and his wife,” Liberty said. “I need to ask a favor. Lucy Ann needs me to cover Rumor’s shift tomorrow night.”
He scowled. “That means you’re canceling our date. That I don’t like. I was looking forward to it, but we can reschedule and I’ll just go fishing with Gabriel and my brothers.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“I have a feeling that Rumor won’t be working anymore.”
“That’s what Lucy Ann expects, but I don’t know if I can swing the dinner shifts because of Gabriel. With Charlie hanging around, I don’t trust he won’t just show up.”
“Any evening you have to work, he can hang out with me. It’s not a problem.” Miles shifted, catching her gaze. “My mother’s husband has a niece, Stephanie, who’s on the spectrum. She lives in the next town over and they’d like to introduce her to Gabriel.”
“I think that would be nice. He had a couple of friends back in Palm Beach who were like him and he enjoyed hanging out with them. He just didn’t like going to the center. It made him feel different.”
“I can understand that.” Miles laughed. “When I was little and the teachers would pull me out of class, it always made me feel like shit.” He tapped his finger on her knee. “Gabriel doesn’t want to come home tonight.”
“Excuse me?” She sat up taller.
“I found him half-asleep in the golf cart, wrapped in a sleeping bag he found in my garage.”
“Jesus,” she whispered. “He was just going to stay there until you got home?”
“He wanted to text me, but he said he left his cell at home and he didn’t want to come back and get it, figuring you’d never let him leave again.”
“What else did he tell you?”
“Not much, honestly. Only that he’s confused and he doesn’t know what to believe.”
“He should believe his sister.” She sighed. So many mistakes. Too many wrong decisions. She couldn’t go back in time and make different ones. All she could do was try to ease the pain. But with Gabriel, it wasn’t going to be easy. She’d hurt him in the worst way by lying. She’d broken his trust and it was going to take a miracle to get it back.
Miles took her hand and kissed it. “I know I don’t have to tell you this, but his emotions don’t connect to his thoughts the same way ours do. The truth to him is black and white. There are no gray areas and your reality has a shit ton of gray. You were damned if you were honest. And damned if you weren’t.”
“Thank you, I think.”
“Seriously. If you had told Gabriel the truth as things happened, he would have crawled into a hole. He wouldn’t have been able to cope in that environment.” Miles arched a brow. “Unless you had left.”
“Right. The judgment for staying with the prick is rearing its ugly head.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. It’s just, once you made the choice to stay with Charlie after the first affair, telling Gabriel wouldn’t have been a good idea. Telling him the truth about how Charlie pushed you down the stairs would have caused more harm than good, unless you told the cops and pressed charges, but even if you did that, you would have had to take some precautions to help Gabriel through it.” He raised his hand. “I’ve watched too many of my sisters-in-law be in shitty situations where they had to make interesting choices in order to survive. That’s what you did. I don’t have to agree with them. But now that Gabriel knows the truth, he needs a moment to process the new information and that means he has to face a different kind of betrayal.”
“Sometimes I really resent you,” she whispered. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea for Gabriel to spend the night at your house. He doesn’t do well with change and he could wake in the middle of the night and freak out.”
“You’ll be happy to know that I told him hiding out at my place wasn’t the manly thing to do and that he should come home. He’s contemplating that right now.”
“Thank you.” She nodded. “And I am sorry about canceling our date. I too was looking forward to it.”
“We’ll do it the next night you’re free. Actually, Steve and my mom are having his niece and family over this weekend. We could go over with Gabriel for the introduction, and if all goes well, we could bug out and have our date.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you trying to fix up my little brother?”
“I’m not. But I can’t speak for my mother.” Miles laughed. “She meddles like that.”
“Oh my God. That’s the last thing I need.”
“Autistic adults can date. Have romances.” He pulled out his cell and waved it. “I googled it and there’s lots of information about it.”
“Trust me. I’ve read them, but there has always been some question about where Gabriel lands on the spectrum. He’s so smart. He functions well that way. But he’s like a toddler in other ways.”
“Don’t get mad, and I’m by no means an expert, but could some of that be because of his life circumstances?”
She nodded. “I’ve had that conversation with counselors. So, you’re not speaking out of your ass. Our life wasn’t easy. Gabriel struggled early on because our parents refused to get him the help he needed. Once they left, I felt like I was constantly playing catch up. When Charlie came into my life, Gabriel was doing really well and Charlie wasn’t the prick he is now right off the bat. But Gabriel has regressed and that’s on me.”
“Don’t do that to yourself.” Miles leaned closer, brushing his lips over her mouth in a sweet, tender kiss.
The rattle of floorboards under her feet made her jerk.
She looked up.
Gabriel stood on the fourth step.
“Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “I decided to come home. But that doesn’t mean anything. I’m still mad. I don’t know who to believe or what to think. I’m going to bed.” He marched past them and opened the door, glancing over his shoulder. “You can resume the kissing.” He disappeared into the house.
Miles chuckled.
“That’s not funny.”
He cleared his throat. “Come on, it’s a little funny and I’m down for some of that.”
“You’re impossible.”
He traced her jawline with his finger. “I’ll leave if you want me to. Just say the words.”
She said nothing.
Seconds later her tongue was wrapped with his in a tango. A warmth spread across her skin as she gripped his shoulders, digging her fingernails into his hard muscles.
He lifted her off the chair, tugging her to his lap.
She should protest. She should end the kiss. But all she could do was deepen it because she needed what Miles had to offer.
His hands wrapped around her body, pressing her chest firmly against his, finding every inch of her exposed skin.
No one had ever kissed her with such passion and tenderness before. It was a combination of wild abandon and sweet love.
Miles was a contradiction. He was this gentle man. A man who had all the right words. He knew exactly what to say at the right moments. But he was also reserved with his emotions. And while he had a confident swagger, underneath all that, there was a hint of insecurity.
Trinity had shared some of where that had come from, and it made understanding him a little better.
But Liberty still didn’t get it.
He cupped the back of her neck, massaging gently, then let his hand roll down the front of her chest, cupping her breast, pinching her taut nipple through her flimsy T-shirt.
She arched, moaning.
The pure pleasure of it all caught her off guard.
Sex with Charlie had become a chore. She hated it, especially after they lost their baby. She avoided it at all costs. She came up with every excuse in the book so she didn’t have to do it.
But it often didn’t work and she’d lie there like a lump on a log, doing her best not to feel anything, when every fiber of her being filled with shame and guilt.
“Either I should leave, or we should take this inside before one of my siblings, or worse my mother, drives by and has to arrest us for indecent exposure,” Miles whispered.
Being with Miles was something she wanted. Craved. Her body demanded it, but her mind began swirling with all the reasons it wouldn’t be a good idea to do it again. She decided to ignore the brain.
She stood, taking his hand, and quietly led him through the house and into her bedroom. Quickly, she closed and locked the door. She stood there, staring at Miles. “Not to sour the mood, but you have to leave after we’re done. I can’t have Gabriel finding you here in the morning. Seeing us kiss is one thing, but?—”
Miles pressed his finger over lips. “If you don’t want anything more to happen, I’m okay with that.”
“I wouldn’t have taken you into my bedroom if I didn’t.” She lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side.
His eyes grew wide as his gaze dropped to her pathetic excuse for a bra. He lifted his hands and reached behind her, unhooking the article and letting it fall to her feet. He dotted kisses on her neck, shoulders, and then he took one of her nipples into his mouth.
She gasped in pure delight.
She ran her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to her chest as she let out a soft moan. His hands explored her curves, sending shivers down her spine as he kissed his way down her stomach. She could feel the heat between them, igniting a fire that consumed all rational thought.
He unsnapped the button of her jean shorts and slowly lowered the zipper, rolling them over her hips and yanking them and her panties to her ankles.
As he caressed her skin with a featherlight touch, she melted into his caress, completely lost in the moment. His every kiss fueled her passion, driving her to the brink of ecstasy.
He laid her back on the bed and pulled his shirt over his head before lifting her leg and kissing her ankle. Then her knee. He licked his way up her thigh, all the way gazing into her eyes.
With a tender smile, he whispered, ”I want to make you feel so good that you don’t want me to leave, even though I know I have to.”
She bit her lip, a mix of anticipation and desire washing over her. ”You already have,” she murmured, her breath hitched as he slowly traced her belly button with his finger.
Inch by inch, he ascended closer to her core, his touch sending ripples of pleasure coursing through her body. She clutched the sheets, staring at him with a fierce intensity, her whole world narrowed down to the sensations he was creating in this moment.
Finally, he reached his destination. Miles’ lips met her skin, gentle yet insistent, awakening a hunger inside her she didn”t know was there. His tongue danced around her folds. “You taste like heaven.”
She moaned softly, both in pleasure and shock. This was something she had never experienced before, and it was unlike anything she could have ever imagined. He explored her most intimate parts, sending waves of pleasure crashing through her body. She writhed beneath him, her hips arching to meet his touch.
Miles continued to please her, his tongue delving deeper, drawing out sounds from her that she didn”t even know she was capable of. He knew just what to do to make her feel alive, to make her feel desired and wanted.
She gripped the sheets tighter, her breath coming in short gasps as he continued to tease her, driving her closer to the edge of ecstasy. She could feel the heat building inside her, the tension coiling like a snake, ready to strike.
”Please,” she begged, her voice hoarse with longing. ”Please, I need you.” As soon as the words escaped her lips, an orgasm tore through her system. She jerked and quivered. It was like a volcano had erupted, shooting hot lava everywhere. She couldn’t catch her breath. Her heart beat so fast.
“That was beautiful.” He kissed her midriff and stood, shedding his slacks. He stood before her, gloriously naked. Reaching inside his pants pocket, he took out his wallet and a condom.
She watched in awe as he covered himself before settling back down between her legs.
Nothing in her life had ever felt so good. So perfect. So right.
As Miles entered her, she gasped at the sensation, feeling every inch of him as they became one. Their bodies moved in rhythm, a sinuous dance of desire and passion. Her hands explored his back, nails digging into his skin, leaving red marks as a testament to the intensity of her pleasure.
Her mind hazy with lust, she felt like she was floating, her body lifted off the bed by the sheer force of their lovemaking. Miles’ movements were precise and deliberate, as if he was trying to extract every last ounce of pleasure from her. And she was more than willing to give it to him.
She moaned loudly, her voice echoing off the walls as their bodies punished each other with a ferocity that bordered on pain. But it was a good pain, a necessary pain, one that only heightened the sensation of their union.
She felt herself nearing the edge again, her orgasm building like a tempest inside her, threatening to overwhelm her completely. But Miles was relentless, his thrusts growing deeper and harder, pushing her closer to the brink.
“Oh, God, yes,” she begged, her voice a ragged whisper.
He complied, increasing the rhythm of their coupling, each stroke more intense than the last. The sound of their bodies slapping together filled the room, punctuated by her gasps and a series of sharp, high-pitched cries.
Miles leaned down, his breath hot against her ear. “That’s it, sweetheart. Let yourself go.”
The words were like a match to gasoline, igniting her fiery passion and sending her spiraling over the edge. The orgasm that erupted within her was all-consuming, a maelstrom of pleasure and pain that engulfed her entire being. Her body convulsed, her soft moans filling the room as she rode the waves of ecstasy.
Miles continued to move inside her, his thrusts becoming more erratic, driven by the force of her climax.
With a final, powerful surge, he let go, his body shuddering as he spilled himself inside her. The sensation was indescribable, filling her with a warmth that spread through her entire body.
They lay there, panting, spent, their bodies still entwined. The room fell silent, except for the sound of their breathing slowing in tandem. Each breath brought her closer to earth, grounding her in the reality of what had just happened.
As they finally disentangled themselves, Miles pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her. She nestled into him and closed her eyes tight.
He kissed her temple. “I hope you’re not going to kick me out of this bed right now, because that might crush me.”
She chuckled. “No. But you can’t stay too long. I’m afraid if we fall asleep, we won’t wake up before Gabriel does. Please don’t take that personally.”
“I’m not.” He kissed her temple. “How about we watch a little TV, and then I’ll leave.” He reached across the bed and found the remote, pointing at the television.
“Sounds like a plan.”
She had no idea what this was or where it would lead, but she didn’t believe it could be forever. No matter how much Miles gave of himself, he still held back a piece. It wasn’t that she believed he didn’t trust her with his whole self.
But as she draped her arm and leg over his body, she couldn’t deny the distance that suddenly grew between them. It wasn’t as if he physically pushed her away, because he didn’t. But his touch was different. It wasn’t as intimate. And while she had no real basis other than maybe a woman’s intuition, she got the distinct impression that Miles had already left her bed.
She ran her finger up the center of his chest. “A penny for your thoughts.”
He chuckled. “Not much going on in my brain,” he said softly, staring at the TV, which played some old sitcom. He held the remote in one hand, while the other rested on her shoulder, but his fingers didn’t dance across her skin.
“I don’t believe that.” She rested her chin on his pec. Trinity had warned that he would pull away and that when he did, she should call him on it. But did she really know him well enough to do that? If she wanted this to be anything other than one or two rolls in the hay, she certainly needed to work on communication.
And so did he.
Especially when he was the one who had mentioned doing the whole dating thing right. Well, since they were two sexual experiences in and no dates, that was out the window.
“I’m tired. It’s been a long day. Perhaps it’s time for me to go.” He lifted the covers, but she grabbed his arm.
“Not so fast.” She sat up, pulling the sheet across her body. She tapped his temple. “Not until you tell me what just happened because you went from sixty to zero in about two seconds flat.”
“It’s late and we both agreed it’s not a good idea?—”
“I know what we agreed to, but you don’t get to give me a couple of the best orgasms I’ve ever had and then close up on me like a fucking brick wall. Now either you tell me what’s going on, or I’ll tell you what I believe is your problem.”
He jerked his head, arching a brow. “This should be interesting.”
“You really want to go that route?”
“I don’t want to have this conversation at all, but I will admit to being intrigued.” He sat up taller. “I’m listening.”
She tucked her hair behind her ears, which let the sheet fall to her waist.
“Um. Nope. Can’t concentrate when I’m staring at those.” He waved his finger.
“For fuck’s sake.” She twisted, making sure everything was covered. “We just had an incredible moment. Granted, we don’t owe each other anything. We haven’t even gone out on a date.” She cocked her head. “But don’t act like that was just sex or that I’m another notch on your bedpost. Because you’ve been coming after me hard for the last month. So, to pull away from me after really good fucking sex, well, that’s just mean.”
“First, that’s not how I view this.” He furrowed his brow. “And I resent the idea that you think I’m using you that way.”
“I didn’t say that you were. The key word there is you were acting that way. Not that you were doing it.” She leaned over and covered his mouth. “Your real problem is that you like me.”
He jerked his head. “Of course I do.”
“Yeah, well, when you get into that weird zone where liking someone is real, you get in your head and do to yourself exactly what you accuse me of doing to Gabriel.” She poked his biceps.
“And what is that?”
“Treat yourself like a damn child incapable of doing anything for yourself.” She lowered her chin. “I’m not asking you for anything and I know all you’re asking of me is a chance. I’m willing to give it, but now that you have what you want, you’ve already got one foot out that door.” She pointed. “All because you have some ridiculous idea in your head that you’re not smart enough, which is about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
He stared at her with unblinking eyes. His lips parted and let out a long slow breath. “And who in my family have we been talking to?”
“Tell me I’m wrong,” she said, folding her arms.
His chest rose up and down with each breath he took. Three minutes ticked by and he didn’t say a single word.
And his silence spoke volumes.
“Maybe it is time for you to go,” she whispered.
“No. You’re right.” He cupped her face and kissed her tenderly. Lovingly. It wasn’t the same confident Miles that took her to bed. It was a better version. A vulnerable version.
And she liked this man even more.
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it sometimes.” He ran his thumb across her cheek.
“Just like you’re not Charlie, I’m not Trixi or her family,” she said. “What you see or what you believe others see as limitations, I see as part of who you are. Watching how you deal with Gabriel has shown me just how wrong I’ve been with some of the ways in which I deal with him all out of loving him. I see how your family is with you, but what you seem to fail to understand is that the only person holding you back is you.”
“Now you sound like my father.” He took her hand and kissed her palm. “But these learning disabilities do hold me back. They have my entire life. Accepting them hasn’t been an easy road for me, but I wasn’t given much of a choice. I know I’m good at what I do, but it’s everything else in life that’s a struggle.”
She sighed. “We all have struggles, Miles. You keep telling me that about Gabriel. Why can’t you see it for yourself or understand how fucking smart and intuitive you are? I care about you, not whether or not you have to listen to an audiobook versus reading it for book club.”
“I don’t do book clubs.” He chuckled.
She slapped his shoulder. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” He nodded. “And I hear your point. Trust me. You’re not the first person to give me this lecture, though you’re the first woman to.”
“So, are you going to be fully present so we can go back to a real after-sex cuddle before you do the walk of shame in the middle of the night?”
“I can handle that.”
“Good.” She eased into his arms, and he held her as close as he could, his fingers dancing across her skin as they watched some old show.
She yawned.
“You’re good for my soul, Liberty.”
Closing her eyes, she let her body relax and enjoyed the moment. She had no idea what the future held or even if she and Miles would last longer than a hot minute.
But it didn’t matter.
They needed each other to heal old wounds. She would help him get past the shit talk he told himself and he would help her with her new beginning.
What happened after that would be left to the stars.