6. Killian
“Hey, Cooper,” a sultry voice called out the second I stepped into the lobby, the door that led to the IT department softly shutting behind me. The aggravating high pitch sent a shiver of revulsion slithering along my spine, but instead of rolling my eyes at Jessica, I forced an easygoing smile. My steps slowed when she didn’t hurry over to cling to my side like normal. The woman loved trapping me in the elevator, no doubt hoping I’d finally give in to her advances. Instead, Jessica shifted her attention back to the female agent at her side and leaned in close, clearly gossiping about something she didn’t want others to overhear.
Curiosity piqued, I changed course from the elevator bank and, for the first time since Jessica joined our team, approached the woman instead of the other way around. Sliding the phone I just acquired after half an hour of promising to not shatter another one, I paused a couple of feet away, still within hearing distance, acting engrossed with whatever was on the screen.
“I don’t know who that kid thinks she is,” Jessica huffed. “And Hunter didn’t even stand up for me when that bitch got sassy.” I held back a chuckle. Knowing Herrington, he was more amused by someone talking back to Jessica than offended on her behalf. “I was just on my way to the security desk to get some information on the… child when I ran into you.”
“What is someone that young doing here?” the other agent whispered back. “Maybe you should go easy on her. She could be here needing help.”
“No, she’s some”—Jessica waved her hand—“consultant.”
Interesting. Must be the consultant Rhyan’s text mentioned. This day just got slightly better. I loved a good mystery to uncover. To find all the pieces, placing them in the right order to solve the puzzle was thrilling. That, plus my ability to remember everything I hear, was what made me a valuable asset in the CIA, until I left and joined the FBI.
Did I enjoy being an asset? No.
Was it expected of me? Yes.
Did I still resent those who forced me to take on that career and leave the tiny slice of happiness I forged in college behind? Hell fucking yes.
I could’ve had a normal life. Maybe even been married by now, with high IQ kids running around, making me and Millie crazy with their inquisitive minds and lack of social skills, both qualities from their mother.
Just thinking about Millie had the deep weight of loneliness settling into my gut. That life would never happen, and I knew for a fact I’d never find pure acceptance and happiness again like I did in those months I had with Millie.
Two semesters was all I had with an amazing woman who forever changed me.
Having heard enough of the petty gossip, I turned on my heel and strode to the elevator bank. Just as I tapped the call button, Jessica’s high-pitched voice called out my name, her stilettos rapidly clicking against the slate tile floor.
“Hey,” she said, leaning her weight against my arm. “You going up?” You didn’t need to have my training to hear the excitement and hope in her voice.
“Yep,” I said, rocking back on my heels to break the small contact. “Finished with the latest gossip?” I inclined my head back the way she came from. “Seemed juicy.”
She waved me off with a fake giggle. “Not as juicy as you.”
“Like a ripe peach,” I responded with a wink. A sliver of my soul always withered and died with the fake flirting. When she ran a finger along my bicep. Swallowing down the bile rising in my throat from the contact, I forced a fake chuckle.
“I’d take a bite of you any day,” she purred, pressing her fake tits against me.
Sweat slicked my forehead. Focusing on my breaths, I counted to ten before starting over, hoping to calm myself down. Any type of contact brought unwanted memories to the forefront of my mind where they absolutely did not belong.
The second the sharp ding of the elevator echoed through the empty lobby, I extracted myself from her grip and stepped onto the elevator. Unfortunately, being one of our three admins on the floor, she followed me to ride up to our floor, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Her sticky sweet perfume clogged my nose and coated my throat, making the mounting nausea worse.
“Rhyan wants me to sit in on the meeting,” she stated, edging even closer until I was backed into the corner, nowhere left to escape her red-painted claws. “Maybe after we could go get a drink and?—”
“I already have plans,” I said with a cocky grin that had her eyes rolling. “Maybe next time.”
“You always say that.” Her lower lip jutted out in an exaggerated pout.
I did and would continue to make up nonexistent plans. The thought of someone like Jessica touching me, using me…. Clearing my throat, I grasped her slim shoulder and urged her back a few steps, offering enough room to breathe without choking on the rising disgust and fear.
“Do you know what this meeting is about?” I asked instead of answering her question. Not telling her I already knew the basics would hopefully get me more information. Normally, walking into a case meeting with zero clue about what we would discuss wasn’t an issue, but for some reason, I was antsy about this unknown.
Her response filtered through one ear and out the other as I pressed a hand to my flat stomach when another wave of nerves had it twisting.
Maybe those seven tacos I ate from the rundown gas station before coming to the office were a terrible decision.
I was an emotional eater. Sue me.
When the elevator leveled off on our floor and the doors opened, I stepped around Jessica and bolted into the bullpen like the devil was on my heels. Hunter glanced up from his desk with a furrowed brow, no doubt confused about my strange speed walking before his gaze snagged on the woman following me. Understanding flashed over his features. He stood, gathering some papers and a notepad as I strode toward his desk. I kept the fast clip as I passed, and he fell into stride beside me.
“Your shadow seems to be extra clingy today,” he muttered under his breath.
Gritting my teeth, I nodded. “If she wasn’t so damn good at her job, I’d ask Rhyan to fire her ass for sexual harassment. She needs to keep her hands to herself.”
Hunter shot me a look out of the corner of his eye. “You’re in a fun mood.”
“Bad day,” I grumbled and ran a hand through my shoulder-length, dirty-blond hair before securing it into a knot at the base of my skull. “Bad life.”
Hunter mouthed the word wow, making me chuff. Making sure to only grasp the material of my Henley at the elbow, he pulled me to a stop. Brows dipped, he scanned my face as if trying to uncover the real reason for my shit mood.
“Stop profiling me,” I hissed.
“You’re my friend, Coop, and I don’t want to see you slip into that place you were last year. It took months for us to dig you out of those empty bottles and mile-long bar tabs.”
I ground my molars to keep from lashing out. The fucker was one of my only friends, minus the one I recently made in LA, and I didn’t want to hurt him with my words. Since I observed everything down to minuscule details, I could cut almost anyone down to their core. Not a quality trait, but one I had nonetheless.
“I’m fine.” Leaning forward, I blew my breath into his face. He leapt back with a curse and waved a hand in front of his face. “See? No alcohol.”
“What the fuck did you eat for lunch?” He gave an exaggerated gag. “Holy hell, Coop, your breath smells like?—”
“Gas station tacos?” I filled in with a snicker.
“Ass. I was going to go with your breath smells like ass, but now that you mention it, both have the same stench, so it could go either way.”
Faking another gag, he shook his head and moved down the hall toward the meeting room. I smelled Jessica before she brushed past.
“See you in there, Coop,” she said with a wink. At the door to the meeting room, she came to an abrupt halt. “Oh, great, you’re here.”
Unable to see inside the conference room, I shook my head at Jessica’s rude behavior. Again, it was damn lucky that she was good at her job, or she would’ve been fired shortly after being hired for how uncomfortable she made the male agents in our office. But alas, she was detail-oriented, organized, and fast when we needed her to get something booked or moved around. It would make life a little easier if she did all that without groping us.
A response came from inside the room that made Jessica huff and step inside, grumbling about the consultant she didn’t know but didn’t like, disappearing as she did. Closing my lids, I inhaled for five beats before blowing it out slowly, hoping that would settle my mind.
Only it didn’t. Everything kept going back to Millie, flashing from memories of the video of her moving on today. I needed to give it up and stop watching over her and protecting her from afar, but she was my obsession.
Head angled one way, then the other, to stretch out the tension in my neck, I shook out my hands and settled the happy-go-lucky, easy-going Cooper mask into place. Time to work, and hopefully, this long assignment would get me away from this place for a while.
Forcing my feet forward, I moved toward the conference room where everyone waited when an incoming text pulled my attention to the phone clenched tight in my hand. Full focus on the screen, I almost didn’t catch the soft gasp that filled the room as I stepped inside.
“Killian?”
My heart froze, and my lungs forgot how to function as the sweet voice filled my ears. The usual rage that blazed in my chest when someone said my first name didn’t come. Unable to move, I peeked up through my lashes toward the familiar voice, slightly terrified of what I would find.
When my gaze landed on her, a black hole appeared beneath my feet and swallowed me whole. Nothing made sense. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t process the situation happening in front of me fast enough.
A hard jolt and my heart restarted, slamming against my chest with forceful beats.
“Millie?” Her name was barely a whisper as I stood immobile, completely dumbfounded.
Through my pulse thrumming in my ears, Rhyan’s muttered curse seeped through. Breaking off Millie’s just-as-shocked stare, I glanced at my boss, whose hand hovered over her gaping mouth.
Why did she look like she knew who this woman was to me? I swallowed a groan when a fuzzy memory reminded me of why Rhyan knew. Fuck my life. My chatty drunk self might have mentioned Millie a time or a thousand after too many drinks.
The clack of chair wheels rolling along the stained concrete floor whipped my attention back to where Millie now stood. Each thunderous beat of my heart felt like it would pound right out of my chest as I took her in. Just as perfect as ever. A little older, a hard glint in her dark eyes, but still the same girl I knew all those years ago. Short dark hair grazed just below her chin that accentuated her soft jaw, tiny nose, and almond-shaped dark eyes.
Damn, she was even more beautiful in person than through the camera. Nothing could’ve prepared me for this, to see her within arm’s distance.
Fucking hell. I swallowed, mouth and throat desert dry as I continued to stare, no words coming to mind. Despite my training and years of effortlessly sliding into that fake persona, I couldn’t. All I could do was watch like a dazed idiot as she took a hesitant step closer.
“Wait, Cooper, you actually know this… this child?”
Jessica’s words and haughty tone snapped something inside me. Rage scorched through the shock of finding Millie in the BSU conference room. How fucking dare she. My narrowed-eyed gaze slid to Jessica, who didn’t notice my death glare as she continued to scowl at my girl.
No, not my girl.
Not anymore.
“You,” I snapped the word like a whip through the room. “Get the fuck out.” Lip curled in a snarl, I barely held the tight grip controlling my temper.
“You should listen to him,” Jessica preened, a snarky smile directed at Millie. “You don’t belong here.”
“Not her. You.” Jessica blanched at my harsh tone but still didn’t move. “I said get the fuck out.” One menacing step in her direction had the woman jerking out of her chair and skirting around the table. “You do not get to disrespect her like that in front of me. Ever.”
“Rhyan,” Jessica whined, turning to our boss. “Did you hear the way he?—”
“I suggest you stop talking and read the room, Miss Snapps. Clearly, the woman you were intent on embarrassing despite her being our guest means something to Agent Cooper.”
“But—”
“If you don’t leave this office right now, I’ll make you,” I said through clenched teeth. Fuck, I was about to lose it. Feeling the weight of her attention on me, I flicked a weary glimpse at Millie to gauge her reaction to this side of me. “Millie, you stay right where you are.”
Two dark brows rose along her forehead. Crossing both arms, she gave an unimpressed expression. “Wasn’t planning on leaving, but thanks for the permission. I fully intend to stay right here until I get some fucking answers.”
A snort caught in my throat at her snarky reply. It was quick and witty while basically telling me to fuck off. I gave this new grown-up Millie another quick once-over, this time noticing the things I couldn’t detect through the security feed. The young, insecure, and shy Millie was gone. In front of me stood a sexy-as-hell woman with a brain that worked faster than most computers. It seemed in our years apart, she learned sarcasm and found her backbone.
My lips dipped into a frown, wondering what happened that made her change. If it was a guy or that fucker of an ex-husband that put that suspicious glint in her eyes, I’d kill them.
What were a few more kills to my already long list?
“Actually,” Rhyan said with a clap that cut through the tension. “Everyone needs to step out into the hall. Clearly, these two need a few minutes before we dive into the case details.”
I refused to break Millie’s intense stare, too afraid she’d try to slip out with the rest of them if I looked away.
“Thank you,” I said with a respectful nod to my boss as she passed. “I just need, fuck, I just need a minute.”
“Figure your shit out, Coop.” She sighed. “Dr. Anderson is here to help with the case. There is a seventeen-year-old girl out there who needs our help, and every minute counts. You have five minutes to clear whatever this is between you two before we get back to work. Use the time wisely.”
Behind me, the conference room door softly clicked closed. Some of the tension eased now that we were alone until the reality of this fucked-up situation hit me like a punch to the balls.
Five minutes. That was all I had to explain to the woman I casually stalked—for her safety, of course—and still loved, which she had no clue about, why I vanished all those years ago.
Right.
No pressure.
Fuck my fucked life.