19. Killian
My thirst for the bastard’s blood started with him smiling, laughing, and fucking touching my Millie when he joined us in the ostentatious dining room. It was like the fucker needed to make sure everyone knew he had a shit ton of money and power. If he only knew I’d seen better as an asset with the agency. The places I infiltrated, powerhouses I friended to gain information put this place and him to shame.
I sipped my drink, watching as he led a slightly wobbly Millie in my direction. Everything in me wanted to slice off the hand that was wrapped around hers, then shove it down his throat until he choked. Instead, I studied the approaching man, like one arrogant fuck would another.
“You must be this stunning woman’s husband.” I nodded but didn’t say a word, which only made his fake smile grow. “Apologies. I need to introduce myself. Sometimes I forget there are some who don’t know me.” Oh, the eye roll fight was strong. I’m pretty fucking sure I just strained a muscle from keeping my gaze locked on him. Holy fuck, this might be my toughest assignment ever. “I’m Pastor Paul.”
He released Millie’s hand to clasp mine, doing exactly what I hoped he would. With a harsh gesture to Millie, I beckoned her to my side, only relaxing when her strawberry and vanilla scent wrapped around me.
“Kurt Morgan.” I might have squeezed his hand a little tighter than necessary, but it seemed the asshole expected that and did the same.
“I’ve been telling Kurt all about the amazing things our church does here and around the globe.” Simon stepped beside us and traded out my glass with a full one. Seemed they wanted to get both Millie and I in a more accepting state, AKA drunk, to discuss their fucked-up lifestyle and theologies.
Georgiana stepped to my side, opposite Millie, her fingertips just barely skimming along my thigh in what seemed like an accidental touch. I stiffened, hating the feel of the unwanted contact. Millie glanced up at me, almost as if she sensed the burst of anxiety and fear now coursing through my veins, brows furrowed as she studied me.
“Well, let’s eat, shall we?” Fucker Paul said, clapping his hands and drawing all our attention his way. Fingers wrapped around the high back of a dining chair, he pulled it out and smiled at Millie. “Marla, why don’t you sit beside me tonight?”
Georgiana’s smile widened. “Wow,” she whispered across me to Millie. “That’s an enormous honor to be seated at his right hand.”
“I must learn more about you and what you two are hoping to get out of the classes over the next two weeks.” He pushed the chair in after Millie sat and moved to the seat at the head of the table, which was almost twice the size of the others, almost like a throne. “And learn about you, Kurt. I’d never heard of your little company until I did some digging.”
My drink’s thick glass bottom slammed to the table. The bastard was trying to rile me up. Not sure why, though. There had to be a reason, and if I didn’t figure it out quickly, then I could walk right into a carefully laid trap he had for us.
“Little if you mean making multimillions a year, sure,” I said with a forced chuckle. After sitting beside Millie, I leaned back in the chair like I owned the place. “Now, let’s cut the shit. I don’t need you to placate me. I want to know how you’re going to fix my wife.”
Millie glared at me, and I huffed like her anger was a nuisance.
“There are many things you will learn through the classes that will help both of you find a peaceful union within yourselves and each other,” Fucker Paul offered with a smirk. He turned his full attention to Millie. “Though she doesn’t look like she needs fixing to me.”
My hand clenched beneath the table at the flirty wink he shot my Millie.
Mine.
Fucking mine.
“One way we help bring union between couples is to expose the parts of a healthy relationship that society has deemed bad or harsh,” Georgiana said as she slipped into the chair across from me while Simon sat across from Millie. “For example, losing yourself in your husband, for him to catch you and guide you, is freeing. The word submissive is like a curse word out there, but in here, it means everything.” Simon nodded and reached over, grasping the back of Georgiana’s neck in a gentle but controlling hold. “To trust yourself and them is to really live.”
Them, not him as in her husband.
“That’s right, Georgiana.” She preened in her seat at Pastor Idiot’s praise. “Not only will the classes help you communicate with each other, but when we separate you two, Kurt will be in a class working to grasp the forgotten strength and dominance needed in the husband’s role. It’s a two-way street to find the light that becoming one soul intertwined forever can offer. Though there is a catch.”
I arched a brow and pretended to take a sip of the drink Simon brought me. I didn’t watch the fucker make it, so no way in hell would I actually try a sip. Sure, Hunter stood watch behind us and had my back, but still, I didn’t want to risk being drugged with Millie here.
“Your trust,” he stated, eyes locked on me. I nearly choked on my spit. Right. Trust this guy who looks like he came from a long line of snake oil salesmen. I bet a distant relative also sold miles of oceanfront property in Arizona to gullible buyers. “That is where this all starts. So I have to ask, do you trust me to help you? To guide you both to a happier tomorrow? To lead you toward the light and help you live the best life possible?”
“Yes,” Millie said before I could.
“What’s in it for me?” Fucker Paul raised both brows, acting like he didn’t understand my question. “Sure, I’ll get an obedient, sober wife that won’t make an ass out of the notorious fucking name I gave her, but what else? Why should I trust you?”
Bingo.
That fake smile turned into a wide, genuine one. It was malicious and manipulative, exposing all the darkness inside him. I fought the urge to kill him right there, to end the lies he spread all to gain power and money. But pretty sure my boss would get pissed if I killed him with witnesses. Now, later…
“Oh, Kurt.” His voice snapped me out of detailing his murder. “Just you wait and see.” He chuckled against the rim of the wineglass at his lips. “But before I show you all that The Union of Blessed Souls can offer to you and Marla, I have to trust you. There are those who say they want the light I offer, who say they are ready to believe in true happiness, but they aren’t. I have to protect my followers from those who want to tear apart what we’ve built.”
My lips parted to dig deeper into the bullshit he spewed, but a side door swung open, stopping me. A young girl in a short dress appeared holding a silver tray, a wide, delusional smile on her innocent face. Before the door could shut behind her, another young woman stepped through, then another. Soft smiles graced their lips, dressed in the same, almost provocatively short, uniform in various colors as they hurried to the table. After everything was set out, the lids were removed, revealing steaming chicken, vegetables, and potatoes… well, for everyone but me and Millie. Ours looked like something that a rabbit would eat.
I swallowed down the groan that wanted to escape.
Fuck my life. Not only did I have to deal with these arrogant asshats, but I would starve to death right there in the dining room. No meat? I wouldn’t survive the hour.
“Is that what all the security out front is for?” I asked, attempting to not look longingly at his plate of meat and potatoes.
The fork full of the food I wanted hesitated in front of his mouth for half a second before pushing past his lips. It was an arrogant stall tactic, or I really surprised him by noticing the guards carefully positioned around the property as we drove down the long drive.
“Yes, and no. There are those who disagree with our way of life, who have not yet accepted what I can offer them. Without that light, anger grows, and some have hurt our followers through cruel words or physical attacks.” He dipped his head like he needed to compose himself. “It’s difficult having the illumination and calling that leads others to pure happiness and unity. Some just don’t understand what that truly means. So yes, the guards are there and were hand selected by myself from the local followers to help protect those who have come here for the classes and choose to live on the property. Plus, there are children here who need protecting.”
My stomach soured at the thought of his depraved interpretation of protection.
“Children?” Millie asked as she nibbled on her salad.
“Oh, yes, we even have a school where they can learn without the bullying and hate that is so rampant everywhere else. I created a full curriculum for our children, ranging from preschool to high school.”
I wanted to ask how many of them went off to college after graduating from his so-called school. Or, more importantly, how many women left the compound versus the men after turning eighteen? I had a feeling it was heavily swayed for the men to leave and the women to stay. Careful to keep my attention subtle, I scanned the room, taking in the young girls who waited along the wall with hands clasped in front of their short dresses.
Too fucking short for how young they looked.
My gaze snagged on one girl’s knees and the distinct red scrapes marring her tan skin.
“You keep mentioning this light,” I said, forcing my stare off the girl to Fucker Paul, whose gaze was already locked on me. A small smirk pulled at his lips as he cut those light eyes from me to the girl and back again. “What is this so-called light that makes this place a utopia for so many?”
That arrogant look turned soft and vulnerable that had no doubt fooled millions.
“Me,” he said boldly, arms stretched out wide. His lips parted to add additional crazy bullshit, but the door that we came through swung open, jerking my attention from him to the teenage girl who entered.
My heart slammed against my chest, immediately recognizing her. Holy fuck. There she was. The reason for us being here, and she just fucking walked into the room. Maybe this assignment would be an easy in and out. Guess we were about to find out if the hair color change and contoured makeup helped make Millie unrecognizable from her rogue trip last year.
I still needed to spank that ass of hers for that dangerous visit.
“Ah, there you are, Kari.” I waited for him to finish her name, but he didn’t. My lips curled down in a frown. Did he fucking change her name? Talk about mind fuck 101. “Come here and meet some of those who are searching for the light.” The chandelier light glinted off her glassy eyes as she marched over to his chair and stood at his side. His arm wrapped around her lean waist and tugged her until her hip dug into the armrest, the only thing stopping him from pulling her onto his lap.
Her glassy gaze didn’t fully meet mine, instead focused just to the right of my left ear. “Nice to meet you.”
“Is she sick?” Millie looked seconds from leaping over the table and kidnapping the teenager. Mimicking Simon’s hold on his wife’s neck, I wrapped my fingers around Millie’s and squeezed as a reminder to not break cover.
His fingers dug into Karigan’s waist in an almost possessive hold. I swallowed a curse and forced my disinterested mask to stay in place.
“Not in the physical sense.” That hand slid upward, fingertip barely brushing along the side of her chest before gripping around her bicep. “Kari came to us when her parents….” Again that damn dramatic pause, like he was too emotional to go on. Fucker. Lying fucker. “Her parents were part of my most trusted followers, but poison found its way into her mother’s heart. When I learned of her changing heart, I raced to their home in town, but we were too late.” His gaze leveled on Karigan as if waiting for a reaction. But one never came. “Her mother had killed her husband before turning the gun on herself, leaving my sweet Kari all alone. Thankfully, her father knew of his wife’s poison and prepared, naming me as Kari’s guardian since she’s not quite eighteen.”
“Poor thing,” Millie said, tension underlying her tone.
“She’s dealt with nightmares and other violent responses to that trauma. Keeping her safe and happy is my number one concern, so we’re keeping her calm until the worst is behind her.”
Calm AKA drugged.
“Are you this concerned with all of your followers’ children?”
I bit my tongue to keep from groaning. Damnit, Millie. Her single focus on Karigan was obvious.
“Why do you ask?” Paul said, tone sharp.
I felt Millie stiffen beneath my hold, and I squeezed ever so slightly. “My childhood was not the best, neglect and avoidance, so not as traumatic as Kari’s story, but it still left an imprint.” Oh, she was good. Now Paul wasn’t only diverted from her focus on Karigan, but he saw an opening to exploit her past to make her lean more on him. Smart Millie. My brilliant Millie. “I find myself slightly jealous of her.” Okay, maybe laying it on a little thick. “Seeing as she has a community to support her, has you to take care of her when there was no one else.”
I swallowed, waiting for Paul’s response.
Palm up, he slid a hand across the table, white cloth bunching with the movement. Millie’s tiny hand floated over his for a heartbeat before dropping. He squeezed softly, thumb stroking along her soft skin. Every muscle strained as I held myself back from smacking off his touch.
She. Was. Mine.
“I see you, Marla, and I know we can help you, help you find that light inside. Just like we’re doing with Kari. I will heal that hurt and pain from the inside out so you two can find peace and happiness within and with us.”
Between blinks, the man went from fake soft and happy to sitting straight in his chair, a faraway look overtaking his pointed focus. When his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he flopped back, I tugged Millie’s dining chair closer to me and farther from the freak show.
“A vision,” Georgiana whispered in awe.
As quickly as the act started, Paul snapped back to himself before slouching forward.
“Pastor?” Simon questioned, genuine concern in his tone. “Are you all right?”
Pastor Paul, ever the terrible actor, nodded and struggled to sit up straight like all the energy from earlier had drained from his body.
“Yes, I saw….” He stopped and shook his head. “Saw our future, but it was foggy, difficult to see clearly.” Standing on trembling legs, he leaned against the table, both hands pressed on top as he swayed. Two of the girls who delivered our food gasped and hurried to his side. Adoring faces tilted up to him with worry in their eyes. “I need to rest, fuel myself and the leaders to help me see clearly.” His gaze slid to Karigan. “There was a woman in white, holding a child.”
My stomach dropped.
Guess what Karigan wore in that exact moment.
All. Fucking. White.
“Sorry to cut this dinner short, but leadership and I need to convene to fuel me so that the vision sent for our future becomes clear.” Simon nodded and hurried out of the room, a smirk on his lips instead of worry as he murmured into his cell phone. When he returned, two men in black suits and earpieces followed hot on his heels. “David, please take Kari to her room and ensure she stays safe throughout the night.” Locked down and guarded, noted. “And Saul, take our guests to their cabin before showing their guard where he will stay with the others.”
Turning, Pastor Paul smiled at Millie. “I’m sorry to leave just when I was learning so much about you and what makes you a potential special addition to our community. Tomorrow, I’ll set aside time to meet with you,” his gaze flicked to me, “both of you, together, to see how the first day went in the classes. I can sense great things about you two.”
Putting both hands together, he bowed to us before stumbling out of the room, the young girls supporting him the whole way. Brows furrowed, I watched them leave. Too consumed by the bombarding questions the dinner and show conjured, I failed to notice Georgiana until her hand slipped over my shoulder.
Instead of saying anything, she lowered to her knees beside my chair, never breaking eye contact.
What the fuck? My heart pounded, and the palm still wrapped around Millie’s neck grew slick. I glanced at Simon, who stood just behind his fucking wife, smiling at her like he was fucking proud. Or ensuring she obeyed. I couldn’t tell which.
“Give us a chance to show you, to help you believe in the pastor’s vision for this church and his followers.” Her hand moved from my shoulder, coming to rest on my thigh. I swallowed down the bile swelling in my throat. “We have so much to offer someone as powerful and driven as you. Just let us show you all the ways everyone here can make you the happiest you’ve ever been.”
I gritted my teeth when her hand slid up higher, fingertip barely brushing against my currently shriveled-to-the-size-of-a-raisin dick. While on the outside, I raised both brows and allowed interest to fill my gaze.
I hated it.
Hated myself.
Hated the touch.
Hated the fucking memories all this invoked.
Instead of bolting out of the chair and running screaming from the room like I wanted, I simply nodded and ran a knuckle along her jaw. Looking at Simon, he smiled at me and nodded.
“I look forward to seeing everything you offer.” With that, I stood and pulled Millie up with me. My gaze locked with Hunter’s, who wasn’t nearly as good at masking his disgust, and I hitched my chin toward the door. “Let’s get this one locked up before she drinks them out of all the wine they own.”
Keeping a controlling grip on Millie, I guided her toward Hunter, who turned on his heel and marched out the door, all of us following the cult creep’s security. As we marched down the hall, I focused on keeping my breaths even. Soon I would be alone and could melt the fuck down, give in to the memories that battered against my mental barricades.
But not until Millie was safely behind a locked door would I allow myself to be at my weakest. Our steps echoed through the empty hall. A sliver of worry wove its way past my defenses.
What if Millie saw the broken me I hid from everyone, all the darkness that consumed me from my past, and walked away? Would I be strong enough to go on?
Or would that, plus those awful memories and my trauma, finally swallow me whole?