36. Millie
Already lightheaded, foggy confusion kept me from instantly moving to Killian’s side the moment Pastor Paul’s profile became clear. My stomach dropped like a hundred-pound lead weight, and a shallow gasp caught in my throat.
I stood, frozen and trembling, completely unable to make my feet work.
The night’s events, the blood, and just everything over the last several days had finally caught up to me, and now here I was, completely immobile while a known manipulating narcissist crept closer. Hands raised, steps cautious, he didn’t appear harmful, but I knew the truth. He might not be lethal like Killian, trained to kill a million different ways, but Gary Paul was still deadly.
“I’m not here to hurt you, Kurt. Unlike what you did to my security team.” Paul added a fake hitch to his voice in faux emotion over his men. “Those men had families, people who counted on them. Did you not think about the lives you ruined when you pulled that trigger?”
I chanced a quick look at Killian to make sure he wasn’t buying that bullshit. The man had ordered the murder of Karigan’s parents. I couldn’t prove it, yet anyway, but I knew it was his doing.
“Shut the fuck up and stop moving closer, or I swear I’ll drop you where you stand.” Killian’s white teeth flashed in the moonlight with his menacing smile. When we first stepped out of the house, the darkness was blinding, but after my eyes adjusted, plus the full moon, seeing wasn’t that challenging. “As you just stated, I have zero remorse about taking a life, so I suggest you stop where you fucking are and keep those hands in the air.”
“All I wanted was to make sure my darling, sweet, and innocent Kari was okay,” Paul pleaded. “You don’t understand the depth of the trauma she has been through. She needs my help, needs to be with us so we can help her heal.” The light shifted on his face as he turned his attention to the woman standing a few feet away, full focus on him.
My lungs stopped working, a restricted breath burned in my lungs.
She couldn’t really believe his lies, could she?
“You were safe and cared for with me. These two outsiders, those without our shared light, want to ruin you, snuff out the light I know is buried deep inside you, Kari.”
“Karigan.” I prayed her whispered name reached her ears.
“You were safe and loved with me, remember? No one wanted you after your parents died, only me. Even your so-called friends abandoned you when you needed them most. But I didn’t. The community surrounded you. Loved you. Provided for your every need. This is where you belong, where you can heal and be free for eternity.” His hands were no longer high in surrender but stretched out wide. “They can’t take you from me, Kari, not legally. This is your home, your life, and your future. It’s all with me. Together, we will conquer the world. Just look at the danger they’ve already put you in; look at the violence they’ve brought to our doorstep.”
“Oh, please, just shut the fuck up.” Killian’s voice echoed in the dark.
“Pastor.” Karigan’s soft, trembling voice cut through me like a knife.
“Yes, my darling Kari. My future bride, I’m here. I’ll always be here for you. Come to me, child. Come to the light that I know you are desperate to feel so it can spread through you, too.”
I pressed a hand to my stomach to keep the bit of water I drank earlier from exploding up my throat. Fuck, the man was a monster. He knew all the right buttons to push.
“She’s not going anywhere—” My words cut off when Karigan took a single step closer to Pastor Paul. “No,” I begged. “Please, Karigan. He’s a liar and?—”
“I need to know why,” Karigan rasped, voice cracking. “I need to know why you killed them.”
Huh. By the slow blink Pastor Paul gave, he didn’t expect that question. He quickly recovered, that fake, confused, and innocent mask back in place. “What lies have they filled your head with, Kari? I didn’t hurt them. They hurt each other. They lost the light?—”
“Shut the fuck up.” I stilled as Karigan’s firm voice rang out, echoing through the trees.
“Oh, hell,” Killian muttered under his breath and stepped closer to where I still hadn’t moved.
“What?” The word had barely left my lips when the moonlight glinted off metal.
A gun.
A raised gun.
In Karigan’s hand.
Pointed right at Pastor Paul.
“Ah, that makes sense now.” I blinked up at Killian’s tight features, hoping he’d fill in the gaps. “She paused inside her room. Guess she wanted a weapon, too. Smart girl.” Killian’s back brushed against my chest as he angled himself between me and Karigan. “Hey, Karigan, let’s not?—”
“He murdered my parents. I know he did,” she said with a sob. “I know he did. They wouldn’t have left me with him. They knew. They knew I didn’t want anything to do with this place.”
“That’s not true. They loved you so much they wanted you to be free here with me?—”
“I suggest you shut right the fuck up, you motherfucking idiot,” Killian muttered to Gary Paul, but his focus was locked on Karigan’s hand that held the gun. “Karigan, you don’t want to do that.”
“You don’t know what they’ve done, what they do here.” Her voice cracked. “Why?” she pleaded. “Why would you take them from me? We were happy. They were everything to me.”
Silence filtered through the clearing, sounding like a bomb. Pastor Paul was clearly as smart as most cult leaders and knew when to keep his mouth shut. Whatever lies he spun were clearly unraveling. He was fucked.
He knew it.
Karigan knew it.
I knew it.
“Karigan, I need you to put the gun down,” Killian said so softly, with so much emotion that tears flooded my lower lids. “You don’t want to do this.”
“He killed my parents. I’m all alone now. I’m—” Her voice broke. “He deserves to die just like they did.”
“Oh, yeah, I totally, 100 percent agree?—”
“Killian,” I hissed.
He waved me off as he stepped closer to Karigan, tucking his gun into his waistband. “But not by you, not at your hand, sweet girl. That shit fucks with your mind more than the shit they’ve put you through the last few months. Believe me, I know.”
The weight in that admission had my heart dropping.
My sweet, sweet Killian no doubt carried so much guilt and weight from the things he’d been forced to do throughout his career.
“No.” Karigan sniffed and wiped at her eyes with her free hand. “No. Eye for an eye. Isn’t that right, Pastor?” His fake title was more of a hiss than an actual word. “He deserves to die out here. No trial, no excuses.”
“Then let me do it,” Killian offered while taking another step. My eyes widened in horror when I realized what he planned to do.
“Killian, no,” I pleaded, stumbling forward to stop him from putting himself between Karigan and Pastor Paul.
As if he didn’t even hear me, Killian took the last step, placing his body almost directly in front of the trembling gun in Karigan’s hand. Both hands slapped over my gaping mouth to quiet the soul-rattling sob that shook my body.
“Give me the gun, sweetheart. You don’t need to do this. Don’t let them take that piece of your soul. They’ve taken enough, yeah?” He reached out slowly, as if his hand moved through mud. Karigan’s gut-wrenching sob broke through the night. Shoulders rounded, the barrel lowered to the ground, right into Killian’s waiting palm. The moment he had control of the weapon, he tossed it away and yanked her tightly to his chest.
Lashes wet, a watery smile pulled at my lips at the sweet yet totally fucked-up scene.
I would for sure need hours of my own therapy after this. Stepping closer to the two, movement out of the corner of my eye snagged my attention. Between blinks, the wash of relief and joy vanished, terror taking hold as Gary Paul’s hand withdrew something from behind his back.
Metal glinted as it raised high.
“No,” I screamed, though not a single sound escaped because of the fear clogging my throat and constricting my words.
Without thinking, not even considering the multitude of consequences for my actions, I lunged toward Killian and Karigan. My shoulder slammed into Killian’s side, shoving him and the girl still wrapped in his comforting arms away.
Just as a booming crack echoed through the night.
Fiery pain erupted from my side as I free-fell to the ground, both hands stretched out to catch myself. I winced, bracing for the impact. Twigs and leaves bit into my palms as they slammed into the damp soil. Teeth rattled as my face bounced off an exposed root. Stars lit behind my squeezed eyelids from the impact that jarred everything from my brain all the way down my spine.
Killian’s roar sounded so far away, barely audible over the rapid thump of my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Dirt embedded beneath my nails as my fingers curled, the all-consuming pain contracting my muscles made me twitch along the ground.
A blazing inferno filled my lungs, the need for oxygen to breathe even a sliver of life-saving air turning desperate. But I couldn’t, my entire body no longer under my control as I writhed along the ground.
Strong hands gripped my shoulders and flipped me back, slamming into the dirt. My spine arched as pain like I never experienced coursed through.
“Millie.” Whoever spoke felt like they were far away, underwater, attempting to talk to me though hot breath fanned over my chilled skin.
Everything faded, the pain, the fear, all feeling. I welcomed it, wanted that peaceful oblivion that beckoned me closer. Until something searing hot pressed to my lips, forcing them open and blowing unwanted air down my throat. I choked and coughed as my lungs kick-started. Razor blades sliced along my throat with every gasping, choking breath my body forced me to take.
Slowly the darkness receded, but with it came the blinding pain.
My teeth clenched, jaw tight, as I screamed through the pulsing agony. I couldn’t pinpoint where it hurt. Every part of me seemed to pulse.
Through the blood rushing in my ears, shouts and loud cries sounded, but I couldn’t focus on anything besides the pain and desperate need for more air. Another pain-filled scream sliced up my throat as I was lifted, my limp body held tight as I floated in the air.
At the first jostle, the pain pulsed even higher.
Too much.
Slowly, all the sounds, all the pain, everything, faded away.