Chapter Twelve
REX
T he coffee mug in my hand turned cold a long time ago, but I don’t have it in me to remake it. Yesterday turned into such a mess.
I’d had every intention of showing how playful and loving the dogs are. I’d envisioned families coming and meeting them. Either falling in love with them to start the process of taking one home, or donating to the shelter, either for my costs or the training program. Instead, I have a shredded pool, a sore back, and enough humiliation to make me want to stay home alone on my property until the new year at the earliest.
“What am I going to do, Tag?” I ask, looking down at him. He’s laying at my feet, his ear twitching before flopping back down at my voice. His big brown eyes look up at me in a sorrowful plea.
“I know, I’ll figure it out. They are wonderful dogs, even if they do have the worst timing for zoomies and rebellions…”
Tag chuffs, giving me as close to a doggy eye roll as he can.
“Don’t forget you were like that too when I first met you. It’s not their fault you’re a grumpy old man now.”
Tag takes exception to this, baring his teeth at me and snapping them together before getting up and leaving the kitchen.
“See! Grumpy old man!” I exclaim as he pads into the living room. I pick up my coffee and wince as I take a sip. “And I’m arguing with a dog.”
“Did you win, at least?” Holly asks as she walks into the room with a smile on her face.
“It’s debatable.” I place my mug on the counter in front of me. “How much of that did you hear?”
“Enough,” she chuckles, taking a seat on the stool across from me. “Are you really not going to the market today?”
“What’s the point? I think they showed off enough yesterday. Plus, it was a lofty goal to think I would raise enough to bring someone in to train them. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Pushing my glasses up higher on the bridge of my nose, I brace my hands on the counter and hang my head to my chest.
“You were thinking you wanted to make a difference. That you wanted to find good homes for these amazing dogs,” she starts softly. “You were thinking that if you could help someone the way I think these dogs helped you, it’s worth a shot.”
I didn’t hear her move, but as she finishes, she’s right next to me. I feel her hand on my shoulder, the comforting weight easing the tension building around my heart. I haven’t felt this lost since Lauren died. Once again, I don’t know what I’m going to do now that what I thought of as my future plans are disappearing.
“I have an idea,” she says, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “I spoke with Rachel last night. I want to do a special blog post on animal shelters. Specifically, yours.”
My head snaps up, my gaze meeting hers. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Then it’s a good thing you aren’t asking.” The corner of her mouth quirks up in a wry smile.
I rub my hands over my face, unsure of what to say.
“Just think of how much it would help. Not just for you at Woof Street, but for shelters all over,” she continues.
I lower my hands. “You have that kind of reach?”
“I mean, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I have a solid readership. My articles on Rachel’s blog always have high numbers. My social media following is decent.”
“I didn’t realize I had a celebrity staying with me,” I joke, starting to feel some of the tension easing from my chest.
“Hardly.” She rolls her eyes. “But I think I can help. If you let me.”
I look into her green eyes, seeing how much honesty and emotion are pouring from them. Maybe this is the break that I need in order to help the shelter. I’ve been doing everything I can to try to reach the communities outside of Candy Cane Creek to find families that want to adopt Lucy, Ginger, and Fluffy. Not to mention potentially helping other dogs that might be stranded in areas outside of my own.
“What would you need from me?”
“Not much,” she starts, walking around the island again and hopping up on her stool. “I would just need to ask you a few questions about your shelter and the dogs. What the adoption process is like. I would need to take some pictures of you and the dogs.”
“Me?” I stammer.
“Well, you are the face of the shelter, are you not?” There’s that smile again. I don’t know how I feel about the fact it makes me want to do whatever she asks of me.
“Wouldn’t that be the dogs?”
“No, silly. While they would help, people would want to see the handsome man behind the pups.”
I raise my eyebrow. “You think I’m handsome?”
There’s that panic again.
But it’s not in the same way I felt it with Cassie in the cafe. This is different. This is…hopeful?
“Is that seriously what you took away from that?”
I turn and grab the kettle, filling it in the sink while avoiding her gaze. I’m still torn about my feelings for Holly. While I do find her beautiful, smart, and funny—all things that make me wish she were staying in Candy Cane Creek instead of going back to the city—it still feels too soon after Lauren. I promised to love her for the rest of my life. While I know this is what she would want for me, it still feels wrong.
“I think you’ve got enough water there, Rex,” Holly says behind me.
I look down to see water overflowing from the top of the kettle. I rush to turn off the tap, pouring some of the water out before wiping down the outside.
“I got distracted.”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. That’s not what I intended. “
“No, you didn’t.” I shake my head, placing the kettle back on its base and flicking on the switch. I take a deep breath, feeling like I’m ready to confide more in Holly. There’s something about her that makes me feel safe. Like I can tell her anything and there won’t be any judgement. “I was thinking about Lauren.”
“Oh,” she says, looking down at her clasped hands in front of her on the island. “Can I ask what happened?”
I nod, taking a mug down from the cabinet and grabbing the Christmas tea Holly likes. I sigh, looking at the boxes of tea in front of me, almost asking them permission to continue.
First, I talk to dogs. Now, boxes of tea.
“We found out she had MS shortly after we got engaged.” I close the cupboard door and brace myself for a moment before turning to her. “She didn’t let it stop her from getting her dream wedding.”
“She sounds like a strong woman.”
“Very,” I nod curtly, dropping the tea bag into the mug and finally facing Holly as I place it on the island between us. “It progressed quickly, but we were able to pull off the Christmas wedding she wanted. It was the perfect day. The church was filled with evergreens and holly. We had Christmas trees that lined the hall during the reception. We even had a turkey dinner for everyone, complete with signature holiday drinks.”
“It sounds incredible.”
The compassion in her eyes nearly makes me lose the strength to keep talking. “It was.”
I can still see Lauren walking toward me as I wait at the altar, her white dress fitting her perfectly with lace capped sleeves and a long train. Her bouquet was filled with red and white roses, red berries, and greenery. She insisted on it being wrapped in a ribbon of burlap because she said it ‘felt right’ with the rustic holiday theme we had.
Holly gives me a moment to live in the past, which I’m thankful for.
“Anyway, soon after we got married, the MS started progressing quickly. It was harder for her to work, even at home, so she had to move to part time. We lived in the city then. I worked in an office. We did the things we thought we should do as a young couple starting our lives together. But when it all got too hard for her, we decided to move here. We passed through here one year over Christmas while we were travelling, and we fell in love with the town. The property was big enough that we could open the shelter and the house was perfect for what we wanted.”
“Did you always want to run a dog shelter?”
“No,” I laugh, grabbing the kettle once it clicks off, steam billowing out of the opening. “I have a business degree and was working for a communication company. Sure, I loved dogs, but I never saw myself doing this.” I look out the window at the fenced-in field that I use to let the dogs roam. “No, this was Lauren’s dream. She wanted land with animals. She wanted to help them find the right homes with people that will love them.”
“And you were happy with leaving your job? Leaving the city?”
“Oh, yeah. I didn’t question it.” I look back at Holly’s stunned face. I would assume that for someone like her that loves the city and having the job she does, it would be hard to imagine giving it up to do what I did. “I would have done anything for Lauren to make her happy. In doing so, I found my happiness. I love Candy Cane Creek and I love this shelter. It fulfills me in a way that the city and a desk job never did.”
She looks at me for a moment, tilting her head to the side as she observes me. “You know, now that you mention it, I don’t think I can see you in a suit and tie behind a desk.”
I laugh, filling her mug with water and sliding it across the island to her before placing the kettle back on its holder. I turn and rest my back against the countertop, folding my arms over my chest. “Oh, yeah? That’s hard to imagine?”
“Mr. I-wear-Christmas-sweaters-for-fun? Yes, I would say that’s hard to imagine.”
I chuckle. “That’s fair, but it’s what I did.”
“Have you ever thought of going back to that?” she asks, dipping her tea bag in and out of the hot water, still watching me.
“No, it’s never crossed my mind, to be honest. This is my home now.” I rub my hand over my beard, thinking about how I want to say what I want to say next. “We moved into this house in the summer. For a while, it looked like Lauren was doing okay. We were settling in the home; Tag first came to us as a rescue and quickly became part of our family. We were really happy.”
“And then?” Holly asks quietly.
“And then she caught pneumonia. She tried her best to fight it, but the quickly progressing MS mixed with the illness was too much for her.” I look down at the floor, trying to hold back the tears that always come when I talk about this. I’ve gotten okay with talking about Lauren without crying, but this part? This part still hurts too much.
“Oh, Rex. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. That must have been horrible for both of you.”
I close my eyes, willing the tears away when I hear Holly get up from her stool and walk to me.
“Rex?” she whispers. “Can I hug you?”
I nod, too afraid to speak.
I uncross my arms and let her hold me, taking a breath before I wrap my arms around her, too. She comes to just under my chin, tucking perfectly into my chest as she holds me tight.
“You’re a good man, Rex Wellington,” she says into my chest.
“I don’t know about that. I took care of my wife. That’s what a husband does. That’s what you do for the people you love.”
“You’d be surprised at how many people don’t live by that.”
It’s my turn to squeeze her as I think of all she’s lost in her life. Her fiancé, her parents, living far away. It breaks my heart to think of how alone she’s been. I wonder if she’s ever had someone to even care for her.
Her lack of awareness of having someone even open a door for her tells me that she hasn’t.
It makes me want to show her what it could be like. That I want to be the one to show her what it’s like.
Without thinking, I raise my hand from her back and brush a lock of her hair behind her ear. She looks up at me, wide eyed and mouth slightly open as I trail my finger along her soft skin and cup her cheek.
“Rex?”
“Yeah, Holly?”
“What’s happening?”
That’s a good question. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I know that whatever it is, I’m going to run with it. “Honestly, I have no idea.”
I look into her Christmas-tree-coloured eyes for a moment longer before slowly lowering my head toward hers. I hear her sudden intake of breath as I inch closer to her, giving her time to pull back if this isn’t what she wants. It also gives me a moment to make sure I’m doing the right thing. I don’t want to be caught up in my emotions. Letting my vulnerability do something I wouldn’t normally do.
My lips are a breath away from hers when a large crash comes from the living room, followed by a yelp and a growl that is distinctively Tag. A moment later he appears in the doorway, tail wagging, wrapped in a silver glittery garland that I’m sure a moment ago belonged on the fake tree in my living room.
“What…?” Holly jumps, turning around in my arms until her back is to my chest.
“Tag and his wonderful timing,” I breathe, lowering my forehead to rest on the top of her head.
I’m not sure if I should scold or thank Tag for his interruption, but it’s made me realize one thing.
I don’t want Holly to leave.