Chapter Fourteen
REX
“D on’t look at me like that,” I grumble as I look down at Tag.
He’s sitting at my feet, his head tilted to the side, the Santa hat still somehow staying affixed to his head. He raises the ridge above his eye, looking at me in disbelief.
“I’m just here to support the town. I have no idea if Holly’s going to be here. I haven’t heard from her, or Cassie, all day.”
I break my gaze from his, surveying the street in front of me. People laugh as they walk about in their pyjamas under their heavy coats, as the snow has started to fall again. With bags of last-minute Christmas gifts in their hands, they walk store to store with families and friends, enjoying the season.
And I’m stuck here feeling like the Grinch with Max at my side.
I look down the street, seeing the Candy Cane Cafe open but no Cassie. In her place is Macy, the college student home for the holidays that fills in for her when she’s in town. I wonder if that means she’s still out with Holly.
I also wonder if it means I can go get my Holly Jolly Latte without being bombarded with questions like I was this morning.
I’m not sure what I was thinking when I asked Cassie to take Holly pyjama shopping other than I’m certain Holly didn’t pack to be wandering the streets at night with what she had on her, and I was even more certain she didn’t want to do that shopping with me. I’ll admit, I took the coward’s way out after almost kissing her in my kitchen yesterday, but I didn’t know what else to do. My mind had raced as I fixed the tree after Tag got it in his furry head that he needed the pickle ornament from the tree and ended up toppling the thing, getting caught up in the process. While I straightened the tree and replaced the ornaments on the branches, I kept replaying our conversation over and over; wondering how I went from telling her about Lauren to being fixated on placing my lips on hers.
My heart races at the memory.
What do you want me to do? I ask Lauren quietly, sucking in a breath as if by some miracle she’d answer.
Lauren always knew the right thing to do in every situation. Unlike me, she was bubbly and loved being in a crowd. She would speak to everyone with ease and always knew the right thing to say. Where I’m perfectly happy blending into a crowd and staying in the back, Lauren was always front and centre. It was one of the things that drew me to her. She was beautiful and glowing as she would greet strangers and friends alike, making them feel like they’d known her for a lifetime when it was only a few moments.
The day she turned that attention on me was one of the best days of my life.
But now she’s gone, and I’m left here in a situation I don’t know how to handle with a woman that makes me feel things I haven’t felt since Lauren.
These new feelings are different. Quieter. As if instead of shining a bright spotlight on me, it’s a dim glow that brings comfort. A feeling of being safe.
And I don’t know how to handle that.
I’m saved from my internal struggles when a to-go cup wafting the sweet smell of a Holly Jolly Latte is thrust into my hands.
“Here. You looked like you needed one but dread the thought of going in there.”
I look over to see Jacob with a knowing smile on his face.
“Thank you. And the cafe didn’t offend me. I’m just…taking in the sights.” I avoid his gaze as I take a sip of my latte, immediately enjoying the comfort that comes with it.
“Uh, huh. So it has nothing to do with the Cassie/Holly showdown at the Cocoa Walk the other day?”
“There was no ‘showdown.’ And how did you even hear about that?” I take a deep breath. “This town…” Of course, it was part of the gossip chain. I’ve been hearing a lot about how the town has come alive, discussing my love life since Holly stepped foot over the town border.
“Whatever you say, man.” He chuckles as he drinks from his own cup.
“Cassie took Holly out shopping today for pyjamas for tonight. They’re friendly.” At least, I hope they are.
“Did you orchestrate that?”
“I asked Cassie if she would take Holly shopping, if that’s what you mean.” I turn to Jacob, who’s still donning that ridiculous smile.
I take a moment and take my friend in. He’s not wearing a jacket, instead he’s wearing the brightest ugly Christmas sweater I’ve ever seen with an embroidered Santa riding on the back of a T-Rex. The navy blue of the sweater is made blinding by large white snowflake dots that make it hard to look at him. He’s wearing matching blue and white pants that make way to his black boots.
“Where did you get that thing? I can barely look at you.” I wince, looking away from him and letting my eyes readjust.
“It’s great, isn’t it? I ordered it online just for tonight,” he answers proudly.
“It’s…something.”
“That’s enough of your tomfoolery.”
“My…” I turn to him, raising my eyebrow.
“You heard me. You need to snap out of it. Don’t deflect your mood onto my amazing Christmas sweater.”
“Our definition of ‘amazing’ is vastly different,” I mutter into my cup as I take another sip.
“I have to say, I was expecting more from you and your pjs tonight, Wellington. You wear plaid every day. You didn’t even bother changing out of your jeans.”
I look down at my clothes. “I…” I sigh. “I’m not feeling it tonight, alright?”
He looks at me and drops his shoulders. “Look, I know this must be hard for you. With Lauren being gone, it being Christmas, your feelings for Holly.”
“I don’t have feelings for Holly,” I interject, firmer than I mean to.
“Alright, your denial of your feelings for Holly,” Jacob says with an eye roll. “The rest remains true. You’ve been dealing with a lot. I wish you’d let us in to help you.”
“What are you talking about? Help with what?”
“With life! With you. You stay on your property, only coming into town when you want your coffee or for supplies. You need to have people around you, Rex. You can’t shut them out forever, and you especially shouldn’t shut Holly out. You deserve to be happy again.”
I’m about to argue that I don’t shut people out when I realize that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. And not just to the people of Candy Cane Creek.
After Lauren died, I saw less of my family, responded less to their calls and texts to where they only send them on holidays now. I don’t talk to any of my friends from the city. The only ones I let in are my dogs.
The weight of Jacob’s hand on my shoulder is grounding, supportive, as he continues. “We want to be here for you. You’re one of us now.”
The corner of my mouth ticks up in a small smile. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
He holds my gaze for a moment before giving a tight nod and dropping his hand. “Good, because there are two women coming our way that also want to be there for you. How they will be is up to you.”
I follow his gaze over my shoulder to see the cartoon head of a reindeer with antlers sticking up, huddled close and laughing with an elf. Both are in fleece one-piece pjs, hands wrapped around cups with steam coming out the tops as they walk toward us.
Even with her auburn hair covered by the reindeer head, she’s still the most beautiful woman in town. Her long curls peek out around her neck, almost blending in with the dark brown of her pyjamas. Her big green eyes glance up and meet mine. A look of surprise crosses her face before she smiles. I can’t help but smile back. Just being around her makes me happy. It’s a feeling that’s both unsettling and comforting at the same time.
“Cassie! Holly! You made it!” Jacob exclaims enthusiastically beside me.
I question his eagerness, but I can’t take my eyes off of Holly. She looks adorable in her pjs, with a hint of pink on her cheeks as she approaches us.
“I wasn’t sure if you were coming,” Holly says as she stops in front of me, the spicy scent of her apple cider filling my nose.
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
We stand like this for a moment, lost in each other’s eyes.
“I like your pyjamas,” I say, wanting to smack my forehead at the corny statement.
“Thanks,” she replies, breaking our eye contact and looking down at her outfit. “It wasn’t what I was going with, but Cassie talked me into it. I have to say, it’s growing on me.”
“If it helps, I got the matching one,” Cassie says with a grin, looping her arm through Holly’s. “Santa’s elf and his reindeer. Get it?”
“I get it,” I chuckle.
“Your pyjamas are fitting. Almost as if we planned it,” she says bashfully, motioning to my own outfit.
I look down at the thick flannel cotton fabric. It’s completely dark red except for a sewn-in a black belt with a gold buckle. I threw my black leather jacket over top and finished with my black boots, but the Santa vibe is still present.
“Did you know that he was wearing this? Is that why you suggested these?” Holly asks Cassie with wide eyes, making the connection between our outfits.
“No, I promise. He just asked me to take you shopping. Everything else is a coincidence. I promise.”
“It’s true. I didn’t even know I was going to wear this one until right before I put it on,” I plead, hoping she sees there wasn’t an ulterior motive.
“Wait, that one? You have more than one of those?” Holly asks, turning her attention back to me.
“I have a couple, yes.”
“I should have known.” She closes her eyes and shakes her head, as if in disbelief.
“How about some shopping?” Jacob interjects, rubbing his hands together. He holds his arm out to Cassie with a slight bow. “M’lady. May I escort you to the nearest shop?”
“Why, yes, sir. That would be lovely.” Cassie disengages her arm from Holly’s to hold on to the crook of Jacob’s elbow. They take a step away, looking into the window of the store behind them.
“So, you had a good day today?” I ask.
“Yes, thank you. I have to say I was pretty surprised to see Cassie on my doorstep this morning, but it turned out to be a pleasant surprise. We had a lot of fun shopping. We even grabbed lunch in town.” A genuine smile crosses her face as she speaks about her day, warming my heart. “I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, all things considered, but it was really great. Thank you for arranging that.”
“You’re welcome. Wait—what do you mean ‘all things considered?’” Now she has my full attention. What does she know that I don’t?
“Her crush on you,” she says casually. The look on my face must tell her that I wasn’t prepared for that. “Wait, you didn’t know?”
Did I know?
I mean, there was the hand touching thing the night Holly came to town and the mention of me asking her to the dance, but did that mean she has a crush on me?
My heart rate skips into overdrive having someone say it out loud. Having Holly say it out loud.
“Rex? Are you okay?” Holly places her hand on my shoulder as I take a step back. Tag yips at my side, jumping to attention as he notices the change in my demeanour. Even though he bullies me into things like extra treats and cookies, he’s always at attention when it comes to me.
“Yeah, um…I’m fine.”
“Do you need to sit down?” Her hands brush down the length of my jacket from my shoulder to my elbow, getting ready to hold me up if she needs to. Or attempt to, at least.
“What’s going on?” Jacob and Cassie rush back over, concern etched on their faces.
I immediately look at Cassie, trying to read into what she’s thinking. She doesn’t look any more concerned than anyone else would be, does she?
Now I’m overthinking things.
“Nothing. I’m fine. Just…uh…” I don’t know how to finish my sentence, but I definitely can’t say ‘started having a panic attack at the thought of Cassie having a crush on me.’
“You know what? It’s so silly. We, uh, were having a contest to see who could hold their breath the longest.” Jacob and Cassie look at us in disbelief, eyes darting between Holly and I. Holly’s eyes are wide, finding mine as she continues. “I, uh, picked up the tradition at another town I was in. Whoever can hold their breath the longest will…they will get the most presents from Santa! Yes, that’s it.”
“Right,” Cassie says, unconvinced. “So, I guess Holly won?”
“Yup, thank-you-years-of-swimming ,” Holly says proudly, as if finally believing her lie.
“Better luck next time, bud,” Jacob says, hitting me on the back. “Let’s start our shopping! We don’t want the ladies to end up empty-handed tonight, do we?”
Holly and I follow Jacob and Cassie as we make our way into the first store, but I’m not paying attention to what’s for sale. All I can think about is how I’ve been so oblivious to Cassie’s feelings.
I don’t have any romantic feelings for her, but that makes me wonder about Holly. I’ve come to terms with how I feel about her, but maybe I’ve been reading her wrong, too.
One thing’s for sure, I’ve never been more confused than I am right now.