4. Jedd
JEDD
“And the princess slayed the dragon and lived happily ever after as a strong independent woman.”
Piper’s soft breathing has been deep and even for the last ten minutes, but I didn’t have the heart to leave her.
Poor Pipsqueak.
Poor Mischief.
Jem called after I’d knocked off at the garage for the night. I knew it was going to be bad when Jem told me how fast she left the gals’ monthly business get-together.
The situation with her sister is not good in general. And whatever happened tonight is worse.
Pipsqueak nearly inhaled three grilled cheese sandwiches and two bowls of soup—with goldfish. Makes me wonder when she last ate outside of the school provided meals.
Which makes my heart ache even more.
I ease off the bed and tuck Pip’s blanket around her shoulders, then brush a curl off her forehead before slipping out of the room and softly closing the door behind me.
Andy’s pacing the living room, her phone pressed to her ear.
“Okay, Melinda, yeah … I’d appreciate that. Talk tomorrow.”
As soon as she pulls the phone away from her ear, it’s like the tether holding her upright is cut. She drops onto the couch, shoulders slumping forward.
“Case worker?” I ask.
Her eyes come up and find mine. That sheen of tears almost takes me out at the knees. Nothing on this earth other than happiness should make this woman cry.
She sniffs the tears back. “Yeah.”
The word is quiet, full of failure and recriminations she shouldn’t be putting on herself.
“What happened?”
She drags a hand through her hair before blowing out a breath. “Same old Alex. Drinking, drugs, dudes. The norm.” Her tone is light, like it doesn’t matter, but I know it does.
Otherwise, she wouldn’t be wrecked on the couch in front of me. She wouldn’t look like she wants to fall on her metaphorical sword for letting Pip down.
I take a seat next to her and drag her under my shoulder.
Her head rests against me and she sniffs again. “God, Jedd. It was …”
“Bad?”
I tug her closer and pull her legs over my lap, then trace my fingers down the satiny skin of her arm in what I hope is less “creeper copping a feel” and more “comforting my best friend.” The ability to touch her unobtrusively in a way that helps her also eases the tiniest bit of need I constantly feel for this woman.
“Worse than anything before. It’s like she can’t get out of the rut she’s in—she’s been in for years—and I don’t know how to reach her.
How to make her see that she can do it. She can get clean.
That life is good. That she doesn’t have to chase the next high.
The next guy. I don’t know how to get through to her that life can be good if she just stops … ”
“Mischief.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re not responsible for her actions.”
She moves to pull away, but I’ve watched this situation devastate her over and over again—so I pull her back.
My grip shifts to the back of her neck as I turn her to face me better.
I bury my fingers in all that glorious hair at her nape, scratching slightly at her scalp to make sure her attention is on me.
She opens her mouth like she’s going to argue.
“No. Stop and just listen.” I take a breath and blow it out. My thumb flutters over the pulse at the base of her throat, and I relish the feel of her skin under my fingers.
If she wasn’t so distracted, she would see the truth in my gaze. If she wasn’t so distracted, she would recognize how much I want her, have wanted her for years. How I want to snap my fingers and take away every hurt, every ounce of pain, every frustration.
But she doesn’t notice those things with me.
“You’re not responsible for her choices,” I continue.
“I know that’s hard for you to hear because you’ve spent years looking after her, trying to help her and Pip.
But she has to decide that she wants to fix her life.
You can’t do it for her. You are only responsible for how you act, react, and respond.
This is on her. And before you tell me you know that, you should work on getting the self-loathing out of your voice when you tell me about the bullshit your sister is pulling. ”
“Jedd.”
“Nope.” I shake my head hard. “Not listening to you talk shit about yourself when you and I know you’ve done more than most family would in this situation. Is she using again?”
“I …”
“Is she?”
She nods. “Yeah. She is.”
“That’s on her.” The statement is sharp, but I need her to believe it. To finally accept that none of this is her fault.
Not her shitty upbringing. Not her mom’s crappy choices. Not her sister’s. None of it is her fault, though she’s intent on taking the blame.
“I know.” Two words she’s never uttered no matter how many times I’ve tried to talk her off the ledge. The shock nearly chokes me.
“I can’t keep doing this,” she continues. “I can’t keep picking up the pieces and hoping for the best. It’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to Piper. She deserves to be a kid.”
Pride in this woman overwhelms me in the best way, and I lean my forehead against hers.
The space between us shrinks to nothing.
I’d give everything I have to be able to kiss her.
To be the one who gets to hold her through the curveballs that life throws at us.
To be her person. Not just in a friend sense, but the person she turns toward when she needs a reprieve from the burdens of her world.
“So what’s the plan?” I ask past a tight throat.
“Melinda said that I have a case if I wanted to petition the courts for custody. We’ve talked about it some. She’s been helping me in case I ever needed to pull the trigger. I’ll call my lawyer in the morning and get the ball rolling.”
I lean back. “Would Alex give you custody?” I don’t even have to ask if that’s something she wants. I know she does. She loves that little girl as if Piper were already hers.
She shakes her head as her shoulders climb in a dismissive shrug. “I don’t know. Honestly I don’t. Part of me wants to believe that my sister would want what’s best for Piper, but after tonight … I don’t know.”
“Harlan can help you …” I know for a fact that my brother has a file an inch thick on Alex. The times he’s been called out there. Social services likely has the same documentation.
She shakes her head. “Thank you. Truly. Thank you. But your family has already done so much for me—for us.”
The tone of her voice tells me it’s useless to argue. Doesn’t mean that I’m not going to tell Har what’s going on and see if he can help from his end. Doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be here for her the whole way. That I won’t be there when she needs me. When she doesn’t.
I ask, “How do you feel about?—”
“Overwhelmed. Stressed. Anxious. What if the courts deny?—”
“We’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.” I punctuate the we in that statement with a small squeeze.
I know that family cases can be tricky, but they have to take Piper’s health and well-being into account. What her life should be like as a nine-year-old girl. And Alex isn’t a safe guardian for her—not right now.
Maybe it makes me a terrible fucking human, but I hope that Alex doesn’t get Pip back.
At least not with the way things are now.
If Alex cleans up her act and commits to getting better—to beating her addiction—that’s a different story. But I wouldn’t put a rabid raccoon in Alex’s care currently, let alone a little girl who’s already seen too much.
“Okay, so lawyer—which you already have. Petition the courts for custody. We’ll take it a day at a time. What can I do to help?”
She rubs her face against my arm. “You’re doing it.”
I open my mouth to say … what? Now’s definitely not the time to bare my emotions. Not when she’s already dealing with so much.
The things left unsaid between us could fill the entirety of the cottage if I let them.
Bright and early Friday morning, I knock on Harlan’s door.
I should be opening the garage and getting ready to spend the day under service appointments.
Instead, I’m waking my brother up with the sun.
If I tried this with Rhett or Duke, they’d throw something at my head, but Harlan’s up early nearly every day.
Harlan opens the door while holding Audra. I swear she grew three inches since the last time I saw her. She lets out a squeal and reaches for me, dive-bombing out of his arms toward mine.
“There’s my girl,” I say, taking her from my brother.
“Since when do you knock?” he asks as I follow him through the living room toward the kitchen.
“Never know what I might walk in on with Maisie living here now. Figured it’s better to knock rather than be traumatized by the sight of you naked. Or punched in the face seeing Maisie in the same state.”
Audra gets a godlike grip on my beard and tugs. I gently untangle her fingers before strapping her into her highchair.
I love this little girl with every ounce of my being, but her cuteness is distracting, and I’m on a mission.
I flip a chair around to straddle it.
“You here about Andy?” Har asks as he pulls a carton of eggs from the fridge.
“How’d you know?”
“Jem texted last night.”
“Yeah. So …”
“Alex is using again. Pip is at Andy’s and she’s going to petition the court for custody of her niece?”
How the fuck does he know all of that already? She fell asleep on my shoulder while I tried to distract her with a movie last night. I carried that woman to bed myself. She didn’t talk to anyone but me after she got home.
“Ear to the ground, baby brother.” Harlan smirks at me. “My ear is always to the ground. Also, Alex was arrested last night when Melinda Wicke—the CPS case worker—went to inform her that Piper was being placed in Andy’s care. She stopped by the station late last night.”
“Does Andy know?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know. But she’d probably text you if she knew right?”