12. Andy
ANDY
It takes three washes to get all the gunk out of my hair. Laughing with two of my favorite people in the world helped to chase away some of the tension of the day.
Until Jedd tossed another emotional grenade right at my feet while we waited for Piper to bring towels. But a hot shower gave me the break I needed for his words to penetrate.
Jedd and I have to talk—god, do we have to talk. First though, I want to hear about Piper’s day, and then eat dinner before getting her settled into bed for the night. After that, we can unpack the can of worms Jedidiah Calhoun lobbed at me.
I need that time to get my emotions in check.
“Marry me, Mischief.”
Shock, elation, surprise, and soul-searing want all shot through me at the speed of light at Jedd’s casual proposal.
He said the words like I’ve always been his, like I would always be his.
And no matter that it isn’t real, that he’s probably just come up with some crazy idea to help, I’ll never forget the way my heart leapt in my chest. I’ve never wanted something to be more true than those words in that second of space.
But I can’t marry him.
I’m not cut out for long-term romantic relationships.
That was something I realized years ago.
I watched my mother—and then my sister—use men to get what they wanted or needed to survive, and I refuse to put myself or someone else in a situation where I might do that.
I won’t manipulate and scheme to keep a guy in my life.
Love is great for other people, but if I can’t have the person that I really want—truly have him—then I have no business trying to get entangled in it with someone else.
Instead of going through the hour-long routine to dry my hair into its normal curls, I opt to rough dry it and plait it into two braids down my back.
I wash, tone, and moisturize my face while my brain chews on Jedd’s hasty explanation.
Judge Hamilton is traditional. Har thinks that being in a relationship would help my chances of winning my case. Did Jedd bring up us getting married to his brother? Did Harlan sign off on this madness?
I shake my head and snort. Willingly committing fraud to win custody of my niece sounds like the last thing Harlan would endorse. My cheeks heat at the realization that Harlan is cleaning up messes again—but this time it’s my mess.
The fact that my best friend’s older brother is probably in savior mode is just embarrassing. I have my shit together—or as together as it can be.
The sounds of cooking come from the kitchen by the time I work up the courage to leave my bedroom. I want nothing more than to hide in there and hold on to the fact that Jedd asked me to marry him, but I can’t.
“Something smells good.” I paste a smile on as I walk into the kitchen and my heart melts. Jedd’s putting a pan of chicken in the oven, while Piper stands on a step stool and mixes something on the stove.
“Cheesy chicken and rice,” Jedd says, his gaze dragging from the crown of my head to my toes. I opted for pajamas after my shower, not wanting to get dressed again. The silky green top and shorts appropriately cover me, but the way he stares makes me feel naked.
He’s seen you in less. Stop it.
He has seen me in less. We’ve gone to the lake more times than I can count, but I’ve never seen the hint of heat in his gaze like there is now. His gaze drags slowly over my skin and makes me break out in goosebumps.
The way the muscle in his jaw stands out as his eyes come to rest on mine has my heart beating faster, the thump of it increasing until I’m sure it’s going to jump out of my chest and run away.
“I made the rice,” Piper yells from where she’s watching the pan on the stove like a hawk and breaks the stare off between the two of us—killing whatever imaginary tension I created.
“Sounds delicious.” The last time I tried to make rice it turned into a clumpy burned mess that ended with the pan I was using going straight into the trash. “You planned dinner?” I ask Jedd in what I hope is a casual tone as he finishes setting a timer on the microwave.
He nods. “Figured you wouldn’t want to cook after work, so I swung by the store before getting Piper and setting up here.”
“You should have seen your face.” Piper laughs. “Your eyes got super big before you squeezed them shut.” She mimics what I looked like as they covered me from head to toe in goop.
Even after the three washes there was still some glitter in my scalp as I braided my hair but it’s okay.
She’s happy. That’s all I want, and if getting sludged by the two of them before being doused in confetti and pelted with water balloons is what put that expression on her face, I’ll take it.
I glance through the living room, happy to see that they cleaned up the war zone.
“Yeah, just you wait. Jedd roped you into the war, so don’t be surprised when I get you back.” I wag a finger in her direction, playfully growling the warning.
Piper smirks in my direction. “Bring it, Aunt Andy.”
I laugh. “Who taught you that?”
“Uncle Jedd. He said that if I dish it, I have to be able to take it, whatever that means.” She giggles and twirls around on her stool before going back to stirring the rice.
I avoid Jedd’s gaze as I snag a bottle of water from the fridge. The two of them finish cooking and plate dinner before I chance a glance at him. How the hell am I supposed to just act like everything is normal?
Jedd demanded I marry him . Right here in my little cottage.
I feel like I stepped into an alternate universe.
Once we’re all sitting, Piper tells us about her day at school and the art project that she’s working on. I focus all of my attention on her and shove everything else away—as much as I can anyway.
Every couple of minutes, I sneak a peek at Jedd, but if he’s bothered by anything that happened today, I can’t tell. His focus is solely on Piper as she recounts some playground game she and the other kids came up with.
I love the way he treats her. Like she’s as important to him as she is to me. He listens to her, even when he has to be bored out of his mind discussing the rules to a modified red light, green light game.
But you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at him. He’s one hundred percent invested in her. In us.
By the time the dishes are done and we’ve played a few rounds of crazy eights, she’s starting to droop. The heavier her eyes get the more I start to panic.
I’m not ready to talk to Jedd. I’m not ready to be alone with him after the atomic bomb he dropped earlier.
But I know that we have to talk.
“Go hop in the shower, girlie. I’ll be there to tuck you in when you’re done.”
I put away the game while Jedd unloads the dish rack, drying and tucking away dinner’s dishes.
His arm brushes mine as we silently work together. With each tiny touch, tension tightens my shoulders. I can’t see his face well, and I’m dying to know what he’s thinking, but I’m too scared to ask.
He hasn’t looked at me since we got up, and I’m desperate for a glance. To know a little of what’s going on in his head.
But he’s just—doing dishes. Like nothing is wrong.
Am I crazy or did his stark demand after the prank not affect him as much as it did me?
If it did, if it had any effect on him at all, I can’t tell.
We work in silence. I’m setting the coffee maker to auto start in the morning when the shower shuts off.
Snagging a book from the shelf, I murmur, “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here,” he says and settles back on the couch. He changed into a spare pair of shorts and a t-shirt he had here from the last time one of our pranks got messy, and my heart lurches at the sight of him so comfortable in my space.
Like he’s always meant to be here—meant to be mine—before I slam the door shut on that thought process.
He’s only offering to help. He wouldn’t actually marry you. He doesn’t want you like that.
I repeat those thoughts on an endless loop while Piper brushes her teeth and I tuck her into bed with a story.
She conks out less than five minutes into the story, but I’m still sitting here. Stalling for time.
Once I step back into my living room, once I talk to Jedd, our relationship, our friendship, is going to change. And I’m not ready for that.
I quietly tidy Piper’s room while I build up the courage to go talk to my best friend. Tucking dirty clothes into the hamper, I make a mental note to run a load of laundry the next day. Toys go into the toy bin and once the room is set to rights, I don’t have a reason to hide in here anymore.
I can’t marry Jedd. No matter how badly I want to take his offer and run with it. I can’t.
And not just because it’s illegal.
But because it would rip my heart to shreds to have him—even if it’s fake, even if it’s only for a little while—and then give him up.
Self-preservation takes hold and all the reasons this is a bad idea surface. Most of them to protect my heart in the process.
I’m already dealing with the emotional trauma of fighting my sister for custody of her daughter. I cannot possibly throw in the all but guaranteed heartbreak of marrying my best friend who’s never made a single move in my direction in the two plus decades we’ve had hormones.
It’s massively illegal. Jedd and I could go to jail for perjury—or worse—prison for fraud.
Blowing out a breath, I steel myself for the conversation to come. In the living room, Jedd’s scrolling through the streaming service, but doesn’t end up clicking on anything.
Seeing him sitting on my couch has relief and fear tightening my tummy.
He’s here. For me and for Piper.
But also—he’s here after proposing marriage .
“Hey,” I say softly.
He turns toward me. “Hey.” He looks calm and relaxed, like he does every time we hang out to do dinner and anime at my house. Like talking about his abrupt marriage proposal is business as usual for the two of us.
I sit on the couch next to him and we turn slightly so we can still look at each other.
“Look—”
“About earlier?—”
We speak at the same time.