29. Andy
ANDY
“Pip! Can you come here please?” I call down the hallway from the kitchen where I’m prepping the chicken according to Jedd’s instructions.
We just got home from the store and she’s nervous about Alex’s visit, so I’m hoping that helping me with dinner prep—fingers crossed that I don’t mess it up—will take her mind off the wait.
If that girl got anything from our side of our family, it’s the ability to overthink.
And I want to save her from that, even if I can’t save myself from it.
Jedd should be here soon. I try to let that soothe the anxiety rocketing through me.
I’m washing raw chicken off my hands when there’s a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Piper calls from the living room. The excitement in her voice is unmistakable.
“Pip, wait,” I call out as I hear the door open.
“Mom!” The enthusiasm in the word has my stomach plummeting.
Please let Alex be pleasant.
She’s two hours early.
Fuck.
Shit.
Goddamn it.
It’s fine. Everything is going to be fine.
I quickly dry my hands and toss the rag on the counter before speed walking to the living room.
Alex has already come inside by the time I get there and is shutting the door behind her.
For the first time in almost a month, I lay eyes on my sister.
My stomach twists painfully.
Her eyes are clear, shining slightly, the same green I see in the mirror every morning. Her hair is clean, and she styled it. Her clothes look clean, and she looks … good.
Really good for someone who was strung out on drugs less than a month ago.
I shove down the hope I want to feel. Alex has cleaned herself up between binges before and the reprieves never last.
“Hey, baby,” she says to Piper, taking off her coat and hanging it on the rack by the door. She turns toward me but doesn’t meet my eyes when she says, “Hi, Andy.”
“Hey,” I say lamely, unsure of what else I’m supposed to say or even do.
Awkward tension crackles between us. I don’t know how to act around her. The stability that I’ve worked so hard for over the last few weeks starts to evaporate when Piper faces me.
“Aunt Andy?” she asks, uncertainty creeping into her expression.
“What’s up?” I ask through a throat of glass shards.
“Can I show her my dress?” she asks with a shy glance at her mom.
I nod. “Of course you can.”
Inexplicably, the urge to cry hits me at the relief in Piper’s gaze.
“Can I get you something to drink?” I say, falling back on manners.
“Sure, a glass of water would be good.” Alex steps toward where Piper is waiting to take her back to her room. “What’s this about a dress?” she asks as she follows Piper.
In the kitchen, I fire off a text to Jedd before getting my sister a glass of water. Piper’s voice is animated as she tells Alex about the dance, how Jedd and his brothers showed up for her.
I eavesdrop shamelessly while keeping a little bit of distance to give them some alone time.
By the time I return to the living room, Piper is pulling Alex toward the couch, where Alex pauses, like she’s unsure if she’s welcome or not.
“Have a seat. We’ll be right back. We were right in the middle of getting the chicken into marinade.” I turn to Piper. “Wanna help?” I ask and she nods, following me silently into the kitchen.
“Are you okay?” I ask as soon as we’re out of earshot.
She nods. “Yeah. I’m fine. She liked my dress.”
I search her eyes for some indication of what she’s feeling, but she does look fine. Or as fine as she can be in this situation.
“Okay. Let’s finish this, and then we can go visit for a bit.”
“I …” she clears her throat, and I wait.
When she doesn’t continue, I say, “I know it’s different. It’s okay if you feel weird. No matter what I’m here with you, okay?” I want to reassure her, but I’m not sure how.
She wraps her arms around my waist and buries her face in my shirt.
“Do you want me to make her leave?” I ask quietly, and she shakes her head. “Okay. Let’s get some water, and then we can go chat, you can tell her about school.”
“How long is she going to be here?” There’s a million ways to interpret that, her tone a question and an accusation.
“Well, I’m not sure.” Honesty is the best policy, right? “But no matter what I will be here with you, okay?”
Piper nods and steps back. I watch as my girl straightens her shoulders before heading back to the living room.
Pride for her engulfs me. Even in the turmoil of her life, she’s putting on a valiant effort to keep calm and composed.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” I hear Alex say from the living room.
I quickly put the chicken in the marinade and stuff it in the fridge before I join them.
Staying on the periphery, I listen as Alex tries to bring Piper out of her shell, asking about topics from school to the weather.
“I’m so glad that Andy finally let me see you, have you missed me?” Alex says out of nowhere.
I bite the inside of my cheek so hard at the veiled accusation that I’m the reason Alex hasn’t seen her daughter that I miss Piper’s answer.
“I missed you so much,” Alex gushes. “I’m so excited that you’ll be home in a few weeks.
Maybe you and me can go to that Christmas village in Crescent Falls to see Santa and the reindeer when you come home.
You could give him your letter in person then, wouldn’t that be fun?
Chris said that he could even get us tickets to the toy factory while we’re there. ”
What. The. Fuck.
My gut clenches at the skeptical hope on Piper’s face when she looks at me, the question plain in her eyes.
Is she returning to Alex?
Over. My. Dead. And. Decaying. Body.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” I calmly ask Alex, hiding the spark of igniting fury.
How fucking dare she accuse me of keeping her away from Piper. How dare she fill that child’s head with bullshit ideas of coming home when she’s already put Piper through the fucking ringer over the last month.
The absolute fucking gall.
I can’t even ask who the fuck Chris is or I will lose my shit, and I refuse to start screaming at her mom in front of Piper.
Not when she was so excited to see Alex today.
Piper’s eyes are wide, and I know I didn’t do enough to cover my anger.
Fuck. I’ll talk to her after I deal with her mother.
Alex looks at me and Piper before she stands. “Yeah, sure. Of course.”
“Piper, can you do me a favor and get your laundry together so I can start it?”
That should keep her busy for a few minutes.
I head to the kitchen again, Alex trailing behind me.
“What? What did I say?” Alex says when we’re far enough away that Piper shouldn’t be able to hear us clearly.
“What the fuck, Alex?” The fire in my heart breaks free as I whisper harshly at my sister.
“Your daughter is living with me. The state took her away from you and gave her to me so she’d be safe.
And you’re asking her if she’s missed you?
If she’s excited to come home? You don’t apologize to her for upending her life because you can’t get your shit together? ”
I lean on the counter with clenched fists.
“No, you come in here, early I might add, and ask her about school and her friends as if nothing you did in the past matters. As if she’s just going to forget all of the bullshit you’ve put her through.
Put us through. And now you’re talking about taking her to a fucking Christmas village with whatever poor sap you’ve hooked up with?
Tell me how that’s fucking fair to her. Tell me,” I demand. Sick in the head and heart.
By the time I’m done, my heart is racing, and I can’t catch my breath. I kept my voice down so Piper didn’t hear, but the unrestrained urge to scream at Alex threatens my control as she stares at me, having the fucking audacity to look innocent.
How fucking dare she.
“I’m doing my goddamn best, Andy,” Alex yells not as worried as I am about Piper hearing apparently.
“I’ve been clean for three weeks now. Do you know what that’s like for me?
I’m doing the court classes. I’m taking the damn drug tests.
I’m doing everything the court is telling me.
And what fucking for, you to sit here and yell at me and judge me. What more do you want for me?”
The guilt tries to take root, but I viciously rip it out.
“I want you to take some fucking accountability. If not for me, for your fucking daughter in the other room,” I scream at her.
“I’ve covered for you so fucking long—not for you, but for that little girl in the other room—and you can’t even fucking apologize to her? That’s bullshit.”
Her gaze turns mean. “I’m sorry,” she bites out sarcastically. “I’m sorry that my life isn’t perfect. That I didn’t ingratiate myself as a kid to a picture fucking perfect family with the standing the Calhouns have, but hey you’ve always been a better judge of character, haven’t you Andy?”
She sneers at me before continuing.
“Oh, yeah. I heard all about you and Jedd getting married. I have to give it to you, you really played the long game there. What’s that saying?
I’m playing checkers and you’re playing chess.
Bravo sister. You sure hooked him good. I thought Mom was masterful, but you …
you take the cake.” She slow claps and my stomach drops at the ugly accusation she’s throwing at me.
Who is this woman hurling ugliness at me?
Not my sister.
Definitely not my family.
My throat is burning and my heart hurts as I stare at her, this stranger who’s taken the place of my sister, and try not to cry at the hurt she’s intent on inflicting.
But maybe that person I thought I knew disappeared a long time ago.
“Yeah.” Alex nods. “Got him hooked right through the nose and fixing all of your problems.” She smirks meanly.
“You’re a hypocrite, Andy. You sit there on your high horse, judging me for needing help, when the only thing you’ve ever had to do is bat those lashes at that friend of yours to jump in and save you. ”
She says friend like a threat. Like she knows exactly why Jedd and I got married. Like what he and I have is less than dog shit she stepped in. I will be dead and buried in my fucking grave before I let her insult Jedd—and our relationship like that.
“What the fuck did you just say about my husband?” I bite out with a step forward.
“Get out,” Jedd commands from the kitchen doorway. Alex whips around as I find his eyes with mine.
Oh god. He’s here.
Thank god he’s here.
Rage fires in his eyes, and Alex immediately transforms. Gone is the harsh animosity she aimed at me seconds ago.
“Oh, Jedd. Sorry about that.” She smiles sheepishly. “Sisterly tiffs, you know?”
“Alex, get the fuck out of our house, before I call the cops and have you removed.” The steady implacable tone costs him.
I can see it in the line of his shoulders—tight with tension.
The way his fingers twitch, like he wants to ball his fists.
In the way the muscle in his cheek jumps from clenching his molars.
“I will not. I’m here to see my daughter,” Alex says with a lift of her chin.
Jedd cocks an eyebrow. “You mean the one who’s been crying for the last five minutes, because she can hear you in here yelling at her aunt? That daughter? We can try this again later, but right now you need to leave. You’ve done enough damage for today.”
Jedd turns to me, the promise to protect me and Piper plain as day on his face.
God, I love him. My knight covered in motor oil and engine grease.
I swipe a hand over my cheek, wiping the angry tears away.
“Fine,” Alex says stiffly.
“Oh and one more thing.” He holds up his hand to stop her from storming past. “If you ever speak to my wife like that again, you’ll see just how hooked I am.”
He steps to the side, his eyes locked on me. On the tenuous hold I have on myself as I shake in anger and the emotional pain. A moment later, the front door opens and slams shut.
He steps toward me, but I hold up a hand. “I need to go check on Piper.”
I want nothing more than to collapse into his arms. To find solace in him. In us.
But I can’t. Piper comes first.
I don’t know how much he heard of that, but it was enough that he knows that Alex took a knife and shoved it into my one weakness, the fear that I’m unconsciously using Jedd for what he can do for me and my niece.
Unable to let that thought take over, I step around him and go to Piper.
She needs me more than I need comfort from Jedd right now.