10. Verona
10
VERONA
“L isten, the way I would leave those peasants behind for Elijah is shocking,” Ru said, giggling while she stuffed popcorn into her mouth. We were crashing at her house for a girls’ night, The Vampire Diaries already marathoning in the background.
“The whole premise is ridiculous,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s oddly compelling though.” To be fair, I wasn’t into this show when I should have been in high school. Now that I’d circled back around to it with my friends, I didn’t mind it so much. I liked when the vampires ripped people’s hearts out of their chests.
“I heard you got into it with a hang-around the other night,” Selene said, raising an eyebrow in my direction. “What was that about?”
I took a deep breath, trying to keep my cool despite three pairs of eyes flicking to me. “She tried to grab Hollywood’s junk.” Fucking disgusting. “Is consent just a fleeting thought these days?”
“Hmm.” She narrowed her eyes, considering. “Is she a problem?”
I snorted and raised an eyebrow. “Why? Are you offering to stab her in the neck with something fun?”
“I only do that for lecherous traitors.” She sniffed, acting like it was no big deal she’d taken off after a hang-around turned snitch and killed her almost at the expense of her own life. “But I suppose I could make an exception if she doesn’t knock it off.”
A door sounded down the hallway by the kitchen and Hollywood appeared a moment later, wearing his cut over a black hoodie, a dark leather jacket, and matching dark jeans.
“Speak of the devil,” Alba said, leaning her head over the back of the couch as he came closer.
“Now, Sunshine, I thought we agreed not to insult the devil by comparing him to me.” Hollywood playfully winked at me and leaned down to plant a kiss on her temple. He did the same to Selene and Ru, but when he got to me, he paused to take a deep breath of my hair.
“Fucking sinful,” he whispered before standing upright to put his hands on the back of the couch and glance up at the TV. “ Vampire Diaries? Fuck yeah. Scoot over. I might blow off the guys to stay here instead.”
“It’s girls’ night, Hollywood,” Ru said, shoving his foot away when he tried to swing it over the back of the sofa in between me and her. “Hence why you’re going out with the guys instead.”
“Hrmph.” He straightened and crossed his arms. “All I’m hearing is a bunch of stereotypical gender binary horseshit. What if I wanted to stay for girls’ night?”
“Then, how would we talk about you, huh?” Alba gave him an innocent smile when he clutched his heart and pretended to be offended. “All good things.”
“Yeah, like how V nearly knocked the teeth out of Chelsea’s head for grabbing you.” Selene nodded at me with a suspicious side-eye, and I pretended not to see the accusations lurking behind it.
“Fucking club girls, man.” Hollywood blew out a breath and kicked his foot playfully on the ground. “They’re gonna be the death of me.”
“Well, that’s what happens when you take candy away from children.” Selene pursed her lips. “They’ll cry until they get it back.”
“Are you saying I’m sweet as sugar, Sel?” He gave her his most charming grin.
“No, I’m saying they treated you like junk and you deserve better.”
“Damn, that’s fucking cold,” I cut in, grimacing on Hollywood’s behalf as I stood to grab my winter coat, deciding to go outside for a cigarette.
“It’s the truth,” she called after me. “I call ’em like I see ’em.”
Ru and Alba sided with me, arguing with the older MC princess about the proper time to roast someone in the name of love, but Hollywood took the hit with grace, bowing out of the conversation to follow me to the front porch. His expression flickered, a soft desperation echoing behind his eyes before he shut it down and returned to the same jovial Hollywood that everyone knew and loved.
Your move, Mistress.
Ignoring the shiver that snaked around my spine, I lit my smoke and handed the lighter to him so he could do the same. Then, we stood next to each other on Saint’s tiny porch, staring up at the stars. This far out from the city, I could see the Milky Way, and it added a mystical ambience to the already confusing tether between him and me. Out here, we could be the only two people in the galaxy, like the stardust that made him was the same that made me and our silly affair had been written in the sky millions of years ago. Weren’t we just particles of a dying sun in the end?
The smell of his cologne hit me next, reminding me of when he’d crawled between my legs and watched me masturbate with rapt attention. His dark eyes almost glowed in the moonlight, his features somehow softer and more delicate.
“You keep looking at me like that, V, and we might both have to bail on our parties tonight.” He pulled his lips into a grin around his cigarette, which dangled from his lips in a charismatic James Dean way.
I scoffed, taking another deep inhale, letting the nicotine buzz go to my head. “You think stealing my panties and pinning me against a wall with some pretty words will work on me, Hudson?” Rolling my eyes, I let out a little sarcastic giggle. “You’ll have to do better than that.”
I’d said it to make him laugh, but he didn’t react the way I’d hoped. He turned to face me, closing the distance between us to bring his lips to my temple, brushing his mouth so close to my skin, not touching me, but enough for a current of energy to spark in the void between us.
“I bet you haven’t stopped thinking about it,” he said, trailing his nose down the side of my face, ghosting his lips over my cheek. “I bet you rubbed yourself to sleep. Did you moan my name when you came?”
I gulped and stepped back, turning away from him so I could puff on the cigarette and get my nerves under control.
“You’re right,” I confessed, glancing up at him, watching as delight danced in his beautiful eyes and infectious smile. “I did, and I want the things you said.”
“I fucking knew it.” He laughed, stabbed the smoke out, and bit his bottom lip.
“But I respect your need for ... celibacy or whatever it is.” Finished with mine, I put the cigarette in the ashtray and turned to him again. “Kink doesn’t need to be about sex.”
“Oh, I know,” he said. “I once had a Madam that liked to turn my ass purple before sending me on long motorcycle rides for fun.”
“Don’t give me ideas.” I licked my lips and tried to ignore how much I would love to torture him like that.
He furrowed his brows, the surprise now gone as reality set in. “Are you really agreeing to this?”
“You want me to dominate you,” I said. “I’d like to dominate you. It’s an easy deal to make.”
“What do you want in return?” He seemed confused, like he didn’t understand why I would do this.
“Oh, I’m going to have a lot of fun stringing you up and?—”
“Well, what do we have here?” came the voice from the darkness up ahead. The orange glow of a lit cigarette preceded KC with a wide grin on his face like he’d just discovered two thieves in the act. “Mischief,” he said to his buddy before glancing at me, “and Mayhem.”
“Killer Cock,” Hollywood said, smiling at his friend’s nickname while KC stared at us.
“What are you two plotting out here by yourselves?” KC stabbed his cigarette out in the ashtray between Hollywood and me before stuffing his hands in his coat pocket, glancing to my accomplice.
“World domination,” I said. “You know, the usual.”
He laughed and clapped Hollywood on the shoulder. “I’m gonna run in and say hi to my wife. Then, we can go.”
“Sounds good, brother,” Hollywood said, pursing his lips as he looked down at me.
I waited until KC closed the door before speaking again.
“Think about why you want this ... and why you want this from me ,” I said. “Something better than because it turns you on. A strong gust of wind could do that.”
Hollywood let out a hollow chuckle. “Hilarious.”
“Let’s talk tomorrow at my place. Eight p.m.”
He grinned that Cheshire smile, ear to ear, beaming with happiness. “You got it.”
I nodded and went to move around him, but he caught my arm as I passed, pulling me in close enough for him to whisper again.
“Hey,” he said, forcing me to glance up at him. Our faces were centimeters apart, his lips so close I could taste his breath. “Thank you.”
It would have taken nothing for me to push up on my feet and close the distance, perhaps seal the deal with a kiss. His lips looked soft and mesmerizing. Instead, I nodded and turned away to go back inside, ignoring the suspicious stare from Selene still on the couch. Alba was in KC’s arms, whispering sweet nothings to him while Ru did the same with Saint farther down the hallway. I went back to my spot on the sofa, grabbed the bucket of popcorn, and focused on the main character having another meltdown. When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I glanced up at Sel.
“What?” I asked, the word hissing out of my mouth in a snarl.
She had a shit-eating grin on her face while she dropped popcorn kernels into her mouth. “Nothing.” She shrugged. “Just curious what you and Hollywood had to talk about.”
“A single lady on the porch with an eligible bachelor in this day and age?” I wailed in a dramatic southern accent and pretended to gasp, clutching my proverbial pearls. “What will my dear ole Pa think?”
“Stop.” Selene shook her head and glanced at Alba to make sure she was still out of earshot before continuing. “I’m trying to look out for you. Be careful.”
“What are you talking about?” I’d known Hollywood as long as her, if not longer, and arguably better. When I’d first gotten home from college, we’d been nearly inseparable because of his requirement to babysit me. I knew he fucked around, I knew he was a playboy, and I knew how much he was trying to change that reputation.
“Look, I love Hollywood like a brother, and I think it’s hilarious how much he’s going to have his hands full with you.” She snickered and let out a deep sigh. “But I meant what I said about people thinking Hollywood is trash. Hell, he probably thinks it himself. He’s been shot, what? Three times now?” She whistled and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I know I’m one to talk about early graves, but that one ... he’ll be lucky to see thirty-five.”
I sat back and ruminated on that. I hadn’t thought about it before, but she was right. Hollywood had agreed to take care of Leo Caputi, even after everyone else swore him off. He had dived in front of a bullet for me, and two other times I knew about. Ru said he was spiraling, that he’d taken Trojan’s death hard, and not that I blamed him, but it made his desperation to be dominated more understandable.
In a world that had suddenly spun out of his control, Hollywood wanted to relinquish that responsibility to someone he trusted, if only to ease the load for a short period of time. Warmth spread through my stomach, increasing the profound happiness that he’d come to me.
No one else in Madison County would treat Hollywood with the tender mix of gentleness and roughness he needed. No one else could understand how dominance and submission could make this fucked-up world seem livable.
* * *
I spent the next day thinking about what I wanted to do when I saw Hollywood later that night. I had an idea of what he’d be into based on what he’d whispered in my ear at the clubhouse. All that pondering did not prepare me for the conversation we would actually have or the shivers racing down my torso when I watched him walk into my house and close the door behind him, clicking the lock into place.
Wheels was on a run for the MC, and Hollywood assured my father he was up for babysitting me after spending the day with Leo. But that was a much more innocent way to describe what we would actually do.
I sat at the dining room table with a fuzzy black robe covering my matching leather outfit underneath. I didn’t have to dress up to do a scene, but like an actor on a stage, having the right attire put me in a different mindset. Two glasses of water sat on the table next to the checklist I had for him to complete.
“Hiya, V,” Hollywood said with his classic grin, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets as he strolled forward. I understood why KC had called him mischief the other night, especially as it shimmered in his eyes while he took the seat opposite me.
“Hi, Hollywood,” I said. “How was your day?”
He shrugged. “I spent my morning with a mass murderer that’s kinda-sorta our enemy.”
“Only kinda-sorta?” I pursed my lips and raised an eyebrow. “I thought any Caputi was an enemy.”
“Yeah, I thought so, too.” The sound of his soft chuckle made me smile. Then, he nodded to the piece of paper in front of him. “What’s that?”
“A checklist.” I pushed it closer to him and drummed my fingernails on the table.
He picked it up and held it to his face so he could squint to see the writing.
Did he need glasses?
I’d have to remember to ask him that after this was over.
“Pegging?” He let out a loud disbelieving whistle. “Damn, V. There’s some wild shit on here.”
“If you think pegging is wild, you haven’t gotten around nearly as much as I thought,” I said with a small chuckle.
He shifted his dark gaze to mine, his features falling a little, just enough to hint at his trepidation. “You’ll really do the stuff on here?”
“I have my own list.” I pointed at the paper in front of me and kept my back straight, trying not to be intimidated by the fact this was Hollywood, a man I’d known since childhood, a person I’d always considered belonging to my brother. “I’d like to see how much our interests align before we go further. As for tonight, you gave me a wish list in the back room at the clubhouse. I have no limits with anything you mentioned.”
He shifted his hips in the seat and ran a finger over his mouth while he considered the list. It had three columns full of activities with a Y M N for each—yes, maybe, or no.
“Do I have to fill it out before we begin?” He raised an eyebrow.
“That depends,” I said. “Did you think about what I asked you?”
Clearing his throat, he kicked his boot across the floor and straightened his spine. “I did.”
I waited, using the silence as my urge for him to continue.
“When Trojan died, I made a promise over his grave that I’d do the living for both of us, that I’d settle down and get my shit together.” He shrugged and glanced at the floor, like looking me in the eye while he continued was too much, even for someone as playful and outgoing as him. “I went full time at the garage. I’m taking care of my mom and saving money so I can move out of Saint’s house.” Then, he paused and gazed back up at me, holding my stare while he said the next part. “I stopped fucking around. I want people to treat me a certain way for me, not because they want something from me.”
“I’m happy for you, Hollywood,” I continued, giving him an encouraging smile. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re sitting at my table, asking me to turn your ass pink.”
His answering smile nearly blinded me, and I had to steel myself against the girlish tickle that twisted through my stomach. He was too damned cute.
“When I saw you up on stage at the Beacon”—he shook his head and blew out a breath, challenge sparkling behind his glittery gaze as he went on—“I’d never wanted to be bent over a spanking bench more in my life. You’re magnificent, and I think we could make art. I think you have the right idea about what this is ... and what it isn’t. ”
Sure, I supposed that was accurate. The hang-arounds wanted to fuck him because of his reputation, because they thought of him like a piece of meat. Me, I didn’t even like him. If I did this, it would be because he’d asked me to. I could understand that.
I held his stare for a moment more before allowing myself to smile and respond. “Okay.”
“What about you?” he asked. “Why are you agreeing to do this ... with me?”
I considered how to answer him, almost blurting out the first thing on my mind as the conversation with Selene rushed back to me. I wanted him to take better care of himself. I didn’t want him to think of himself as trash, if he truly did. He’d saved my life, and I feared she might be right, that he might be on a martyr collision course with fate. Perhaps I could stop it. Perhaps I could take this bullet for him and remind him how it felt to be alive. Of course, I couldn’t lead with that and scare him away.
“You deserve someone who knows what they’re doing,” I answered, which wasn’t too far from the truth. “As you said, I know my way around a whip.”
He chuckled, seemingly pleased with that answer.
“But you were right,” I said, ignoring the burn in my cheeks. “It does turn me on to see you get on your knees, knowing I’m the one that put you there.” It aroused me more than I would ever admit to anyone else. “What about your no-sex streak?”
“I only told the hang-arounds that so they’d leave me alone.” He laughed through his nose. “It backfired on me though since now they’re all in a pool about when I’ll break.”
“Fucking vultures.” I hated them even more. “We’ll keep it going tonight, but we can talk about ending it soon, if you want. When was the last time you had sex with someone else?”
He shifted again, clearing his throat before taking a sip of water. “Define sex.”
“Someone else stimulating your cock, no matter the method.”
“Eight months?” He winced while he thought about his answer. “The night before KC’s wedding.” His cheeks flushed, and he dropped his gaze to the floor, taking another drink of water. Admittedly, it had been longer for me, but I wouldn’t tell him that. Like I said, kink didn’t have to be about sex, and most of my clients were happy to take a beating from me and go to their partners for aftercare. I hadn’t allowed anyone to penetrate me in over a year. “You?”
I took a deep breath before telling him the truth. “Since I was in Manhattan.”
“Holy shit, really?” He whistled. “Why so long?”
“You’ve met my brothers, right?”
“Yeah, but you and Candy ...”
“It was never about sex.” I met his gaze, warmth dripping through my chest at how sincere he could be. Candy and I were friends, and she had agreed to be my submissive in order to put on a good show. But she didn’t regularly participate in kink, and since that night, she’d found a girlfriend to do those things with instead of me. “You said you were with a Madam before, right? How long did that go on?”
He shrugged and shook his head, waving me off like it was nothing. “A few months. She was married, so when he found out, she ended it.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, hearing what he didn’t say. He’d enjoyed himself, especially when she paddled him and sent him on a long bike ride, and he had been nothing more than a side piece for her. “That must have hurt.”
His focus came to me, like he couldn’t believe I’d said that. “Thank you.”
“Speaking of my brothers,” I went on, “this is none of their business.”
Hollywood leaned his head back and nodded solemnly. “I agree.”
“If they ask, that’s what we’ll tell them.”
He hummed out a pleased noise, half moan, half laugh.
“And I don’t share.” I stood, preparing to head down to my dungeon to get into the right headspace. “Ever. Don’t let me catch you with someone else, Hollywood, not while this is going on.”
“That won’t happen,” he said. “I swear it.”
I wanted to believe him, and perhaps that’s why I agreed to this in the first place. But some small churning in my gut reminded me to keep my emotions at arm’s length. This wasn’t a relationship. This was kink. Period. End of story. With the tension of my sudden anticipation growing between us and nothing else to ask him, I glanced down at the paper again. “Get to work on that. I’ll be back in a few moments.”
Hollywood nodded, picked up the pen, and began writing down his limits. Now that we’d taken sex off the table for tonight, the real work of breaking him down could begin. Oh, he’d come, and I probably would, too. But I’d stay resolute on our No Fucking policy, at least until this felt more solid.
Right now, we were walking on cracked glass, hoping it didn’t shatter, and I’d never been much of a risk-taker, at least not when it came to my stupid little heart.