22. Ivy
Ivy
I haven’t seen Hawke since we had dinner with my parents. He messages me daily, checking in to see how I am. I don’t usually reply because the moment he thinks I’m not okay, he’ll be on my doorstep. Besides, I’ve picked up more projects this week to try and keep my mind occupied.
I have absolutely no interest in going on any dates, and the itch to find someone to satisfy my needs shrivels when I think about the effort. I just hate that I don’t feel like myself right now.
Makayla tries calling me several times, and I ignore her. I don’t blame her for everything that happened, but I’m very mad. Who even was that guy, Lester? I’ve never seen him at one of her parties before. Is she even aware that he’s doing this to women?
I finally decided to answer her a week later and agreed to meet up with her.
While I wasn’t ready to speak to her last week, I think my mind is clear enough for it now.
I needed some time to work through things before confronting her because Hawke is right; she’s a shitty friend.
Not that I consider her that anymore, but I have to know how many other friends she’s let that happen to.
Or was she just so fucked-up herself that she had no idea?
We meet for coffee in a cafe we’ve been to before. It’s pretty, with pink and blue flowers hanging from the ceiling, but I can’t appreciate its atmosphere as I approach where she’s sitting.
She stands as soon as she sees me, but I make no attempt to give her a hug.
I don’t even pretend to smile as I take the seat across from her, and her smile falters.
I don’t blame her for what happened, but I’m pissed that she didn’t check on me that night.
She knows how much alcohol I can drink and not get sick.
So for her not to be concerned that I was acting wasted after I only had a few shots was perplexing.
“Have you been avoiding me?” she asks, then takes a sip of her drink. Her nonchalant attitude pisses me off further.
“Yes.”
Her brows scrunch together in confusion and she begins to play with her nails, as if thinking that would magically dissipate the tension between us.
“Can I get you something?” a waitress asks me.
“No, thank you. I won’t be here for long,” I tell her, keeping my gaze pinned on Makayla.
Makayla’s focus snaps to me again. She’s not used to me being angry at her. I’m always happy and up for a good time. But that’s because I’m not usually hurt or in danger. I’m nice until I’m not. I was raised with sophisticated thugs, so not much scares or irritates me. But this does.
Having my power of choice taken away is a completely different situation, one I would never wish on anyone. And I’m so thankful that Hawke found me before anything serious happened, but I can’t say the same for anyone else.
“I was hoping we could have mimosas, but okay,” she says. She flags down the next waitress and orders a mimosa. “The latte was just to get something in my stomach.” I don’t even have it in me to dispute her logic. “You’re always up for a drink. You’re not pregnant, are you?”
“No, I am not,” I grit out, my last nerve so close to snapping. Is this all she has to say to me? After everything that’s happened? I knew she was self-absorbed, but this is next level.
“Good, that would suck. You’re one of my only friends I can depend on for a good time. Everyone else is becoming so boring.”
I don’t look at pregnancy the way she does.
I wouldn’t think it sucked if I were pregnant.
But I don’t indulge her. I’m actually shocked when she starts talking about her boyfriend as if this is the most casual conversation in the world.
As she’s talking, her drink is brought out.
She thanks the waitress and then gets embarrassed when a small amount of blood trickles from her nostril.
She pulls out an already soiled tissue and wipes her nose.
I don’t know what drug she’s on, and, to be honest, I don’t care.
“That hay fever gets bad with the pollution,” she explains before telling me how she and Jared might move in together. She then dives into a story of her accidentally cheating on him the same night I was drugged.
“I told him it was an accident because I was drunk, and now he won’t answer his phone. I need you to find him for me. I’m scared I’ve lost him forever.” She sobs and wipes at her tears. “Well, say something.”
Only my closest friends know the true extent of my hacking and tracking abilities. Makayla has only seen a fraction of what I can do. Stalking social media pages was commonplace back in college.
I’m so baffled by her ability to focus only on herself that I don’t just get up and leave because I’m concerned she might need psychiatric help.
“I was drugged.” Her gaze shoots up to mine, and her hand, that was stretching out for her half-empty glass, pauses for a moment. “At the party you invited me to.”
She stares at her drink before taking a sip. “You left with your friend .” I don’t like the way she seethes the word “friend.”
“He didn’t drug me. One of your friends did,” I tell her, and she begins to sob.
Oh, for the love of God.
“I’m sorry. This is a lot for me, and I can’t take on your stuff as well. Not only is my relationship with Jared rocky, but one of my friends has gone missing too, so it’s a lot.”
My mind blanks. Is that the only reaction I’m going to get from her? I didn’t expect much, but is that all she’s actually capable of? I feel bad for anyone who might’ve considered her a real friend, and I’m grateful I have Billie and Hope, who I know would both literally kill for me.
How fucking drugged out of her mind was Makayla that night?
“That sucks” is all I can manage to say. I do have sympathy for someone dealing with something sketchy, like the disappearance of a friend, but I refuse to take on her shit, especially when she doesn’t deserve that type of friendship from me.
“Yeah, Lester is a good friend. Maybe that’s why Jared’s not talking to me.”
A shudder runs through me. Lester is the guy who was trying shit with me when I couldn’t even stand.
I hacked the security footage from that night.
Someone tried to wipe the recordings, most likely covering Hawke’s ass, but I was still able to retrieve them.
I watched the moment Hawke came in and beat the shit out of the guy who was making advances on me.
I was mortified to see myself in that state.
Never again. Never again will I be helpless or unguarded like that.
When I drilled down deeper, I discovered that Lester had been taken to the hospital. But the night after the event, he disappeared completely. I don’t have to ask too many questions to figure out who was behind it. I don’t have any remorse for him. How many others had he hurt?
“You know it was Lester who was trying shit on me when I was drugged out of my mind, right?” I say.
She throws her hands in the air. “It’s not all about you. I might not remember what the fuck happened that night, but I know it was your friend who beat the shit out of Lester. He goes to the hospital, and then, poof! He’s gone. Do you not care?!” she exclaims, slamming her hands on the table.
“No, I really don’t.” Her mouth drops open in disbelief at my reply. I don’t give a flying fuck if it looks like I’ve sided with the devil himself.
“How can you say that?” Her bottom lip wobbles. “How can you side with a monster like that? He’s obviously done something to Lester. Something so bad that he’s run away terrified.”
I try to hide the cruel smile as I stand because I’m not mean enough to tell her that Lester’s most likely dead.
But I really don’t care. “Because I don’t sympathize with a man who drugs women to take advantage of them.
That might be your scene, but it’s not mine.
We’re done. Clean up your act and get off the drugs. ”
I grab my handbag, sliding the strap over my shoulder. Her jaw’s still open in disbelief as tears stream down her face. I pity her. Part of me wonders if she was secretly in love with Lester. Either way, I don’t give a shit. Hawke isn’t the monster. He just does what most are incapable of.
When I turn to leave, she yells out behind me, causing a scene. “Your friends can’t go around doing that. I heard rumors, but I didn’t actually think they were true. You’re not above the law!”
I pause at that last statement. “How does the law protect women from people like your friend?”
“He’s not like that. Stop painting him as the monster when your friend is the real monster!”
My nails curl into my palms. This monster she speaks of—Hawke—is the same man who washed me, clothed me, looked after me until the drugs were out of my system.
He’s far from evil in my eyes, and I need to make something very clear.
I’m not special because I have him and other true friends and family who would kill for me.
I can protect myself. Perhaps it was my mistake for never quite letting that lethal side through as I partied all these years.
“You don’t speak about him again. Do you understand?
You’re not worthy of having his name on your lips.
” At this point, I don’t even think she remembers his name, and it’s irrelevant because he’s not the only one she needs to be concerned about.
I look her dead in the eyes as I lean down, getting in her face.
“The fact that you’re mad at me instead of mad about what your friend does speaks volumes about you as a person.
Keep my family and friends out of your mouth because the ability to make people disappear isn’t only his, Makayla.
I can always find you, and I will make your life a living hell if you ever try to approach me or my friends again. ”