44. Ivy
Ivy
I saw it on the news that afternoon. Jared had been taken into custody and publicly announced as a murderer.
Billie and I watch in a bar, and a sense of satisfaction and justice rushes through me.
I hope it gives Makayla’s family a bit of peace.
I still haven’t come to terms with it all, but at least I’ve done this much.
Now, we wait patiently for Ford and Hawke to return from Boston.
He told me last night that he shouldn’t share anything with me, but because it might be tied to what happened to me, he’ll tell me.
I don’t like the idea of knowing there’s been such a massive push of this drug reaching the streets I live on, but it’s not surprising, either.
I know Hawke sees himself as a killer, but to me, trying to hunt down a drug ring sounds like something a hero would do.
I’ll never get it twisted; I know he’s not a hero, but sometimes it takes the bad to deal with a greater evil.
He made it very clear that ordinarily they wouldn’t deal with things like this outside the city, and they only get involved if it directly impacts Eli’s power.
The news switches to another breaking story, and I take a sip of my water as I spot Hawke strutting in, Ford closely behind him. He walks straight up to me, throwing his arms around my shoulders, and pulls me in to press a kiss at the top of my head.
Ford rolls his eyes as he scoots in beside Billie and kisses her on the lips.
“So, you two are officially a thing now?” Billie asks, raising her eyebrows.
“Yes! See, you get it,” Hawke says as he smacks Ford on the shoulder.
“Do not get him started on the ‘thing’ part again, please,” Ford grumbles, looking at the menu, his gaze immediately falling to the desserts. Billie smirks as she casually pulls out a lollipop and passes it to him.
“What are you guys talking about?” I ask, confused. From the way they walked in, I’m assuming it went well today, but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to talk about these things in front of Ford.
“We’re a thing, and it seems some people have issues with that,” Hawke explains, and Ford shakes his head.
“No one has an issue with you two being together. If anything, it’s not even surprising. It’s more you using the word ‘thing’ to describe it. Just stop saying it,” Ford tries to tell him.
“We could be a thing, but we’re brothers, and I’m sure it’s illegal in many states,” Hawke jokes.
“You’re disgusting and have screws loose, you know that, right?” Ford quips back. I tap Hawke’s arm around my shoulder, and before I can say anything, he picks me up and takes my seat before he places me on his lap.
“Better.” He sighs. I should’ve expected this from him. The moment I give him an inch, he’ll run a mile with it. But I’m certainly not someone against PDA. In fact, I like it.
I’ve never really been in a relationship, so I’m not sure exactly what emotions to feel, and I’m not used to people staring at me with someone who is so publicly affectionate. Hawke really doesn’t care who sees what he does.
I feel his lips just below my ear as he kisses me and, at the same time, holds a conversation with Ford about a new tattoo idea.
He only has a few open spaces to insert a tattoo, so I’m curious where he’ll choose, but I don’t comment because it’s his body, and he can do whatever he wants with it.
Whatever he’s been doing with it so far has been fucking magnificent.
From the first moment I kissed him to now, it’s like it’s come full circle.
We shared our first kiss as teens. I don’t know if he remembers, but I do because it was my first. I dared him to do it, and he smacked it right on me when I was fifteen.
It wasn’t until I was twenty-one that we slept together for the first time.
And that situation was a little dare mixed with curiosity.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons I kept going on dates and sleeping with strangers.
I was missing something I knew was already there with Hawke, but I didn’t understand it.
Not that he gave me any indication that he wanted something more than what we had.
Yes, he’s always been playful, but he’s playful with everyone, especially women.
And I can’t say that his affection for other women turned me off because I was much the same with him.
I thought I’d feel insecure because of that, but I’m not.
If anything, Hawke makes me feel confident in where we stand together, and although our being together is new, I know I can ask him anything.
And if we get into an argument? Well, I’ll just take my top off, knowing the moment I do, I’ll win.
I smirk at the thought, but then I tune back into the conversation as everyone finishes their meal. Hawke ordered burgers and fries and polished them off within two minutes.
Billie and Ford get ready to leave, but before they take off, Billie leans in and kisses my cheek as she whispers, “I like this for you.”
Hawke laughs, and I know he heard her. Once they’re gone, I go to stand and take the seat she vacated, but he pulls me back between his legs and holds me there.
“I want to talk about us being a thing. I need some ground rules.” It feels silly having this conversation now, but last night didn’t seem like the right time since what we’d talked about was so much deeper.
“Oh God, you want to talk. Can’t we just go to one of the bathrooms and fuck instead?” When I look back at him, he waggles his brows.
“No.” I push his hands away, and he lets me sit on the stool next to his. I cross my legs, and he watches the movement with a smirk. I’m down for heading to the bathroom with him. Make no mistake about that, but first I want to talk to him about the things swirling around in my mind.
“What do you want to know? Do I want you?” He looks down at his jeans. “That answer will always be yes,” he says with pride. “Will I share you? That answer is no.” He smirks at me as if he answered all my questions.
“What about you seeing other people?” I ask.
“That’s a no. Why would I need to when I have you?”
“What if I’m away? I like to travel a lot,” I remind him.
He leans in with a mischievous smile.
“Well, you can send me a naughty photo like the ones I took on your phone, and I can play with myself to them,” he suggests, and I notice I’m biting my bottom lip. Fuck, it’s so unfair how this man knows how to speak to my most primal needs.
“What if you get bored being in a relationship?” I ask, and he shakes his head in disbelief.
“Why are you even thinking that? You are more than enough for me. You’re everything I compare anyone to. You’re literally on my fucking brain twenty-four-seven. I’m never going to tire of you, lover.”
He lifts his big hands and puts them on either side of my face as he leans in so our lips are almost touching. Then he whispers, “And I sure as fuck know I’m not going to let you get bored of me.”
“Yes, you seem to be awfully cocky about the fact.” I try not to laugh because Hawke has this effect on me.
He makes everything light again, bringing me back to the right now instead of what our future might look like.
And maybe it’s only because I’m worried we’ve never been in a relationship.
I don’t know what kind of exit strategy I might have, but even when I think about it, I don’t think I’ll ever need one with Hawke.
And maybe that’s what terrifies me the most. I didn’t expect him to agree so easily to be exclusive.
And I don’t know why I thought that at all since it seems so obvious now.
“I guess time will tell.” He winks, but I can tell he’s uncomfortable with something. The thing with Hawke is he’s easy to read. He wears his heart on his sleeve, perhaps more than I ever gave him credit for.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I’m scared you’ll be mad, and I don’t want to do anything to make you mad,” he says honestly. Great, that’s never a good start.
“Our meeting today was intense.” He swallows as he reaches for my hand as if I might run away at what he’s going to tell me next. “It makes me feel icky not telling you this, so I’m going to say it and hope you don’t hate me for it.”
“Okay. Spit it out, Hawke.” A sinking feeling starts in my stomach.
“Eli and Ford know about what happened that night. So does Braxton.” His dark-brown eyes snap to mine, and I can clearly see the dread in his expression. “The night that you were drugged, I called Braxton over to watch you while I dealt with that Lester asshole.”
I’m so confused. “Why Braxton?” I know I should be more concerned about him telling my secret, but surprisingly it doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.
Maybe it’s because I already concluded the worst of him weeks ago when I overheard him discussing it with Eli.
But Braxton? Why him, of all people? The two of them don’t even get along.
He licks his lips. “I didn’t want to call Ford because I knew he would’ve told Billie, and you asked me not to tell anyone, but I couldn’t let hours go by knowing that fucker who tried to hurt you was still alive.
” My heart swells. “So I asked Braxton to watch you and help me clear some things up around that night for a favor. To get the name of the supplier today, I also offered Waylon Striker a favor, and I might need your help in the future when he calls it in.”
“Me?”
“He needed someone who can hack and track, and well, you know your father hates me and won’t help me. And I might be biased, but I think you’re better than him anyway.”
A small smile blooms on my lips, and his eyes widen in shock. “You don’t hate me?”
I place my hand on his jaw, stroking the shadow of his scruff.
I probably should be mad, but I feel so much of that is wasted on Hawke.
He has a good heart. And I know Hawke is doing this to protect me.
He would never have told them my secret in a casual conversation, so if he felt it was necessary to share it, I have to trust his reasoning.
“I’m not mad,” I tell him, thinking about the world of difference from weeks ago and how I reacted when I overheard him speaking with Eli.
Or maybe it’s because I’ve had the time to process it myself, open up to Billie, and to be free of its shameful weight.
And Hawke has told me secrets that I feel far more scarring.
Not that I intend to tell anyone those, but we’re in a completely different place now.
“Thank you for doing all of this. I know you have to because of your work, but thank you for including me in this.”
He grabs my hand. “I’m doing this for you, lover. No one gets to touch you. They’re nothing but rats that I’ll get rid of. Even if it wasn’t their hand directly that touched you, I’ll follow this to the end so it never troubles you again.”
I smile. “You’ll chase away all of my monsters, huh?” I purr, quite enticed by Hawke’s protective nature. It’s fucking hot. He’s hot .
“Your fight is my fight. Always.”
My heart skips a beat at that declaration. I don’t even know if Hawke understands what those words and the intentions behind them mean to me. I knew he was smooth, but my God. This man knows how to put a woman at ease. He waggles his brows. “Now, how about a really quick visit to the bathroom?”
I throw my head back and laugh, and as quickly as he puts me at ease, he puts me on my back to fuck me.
“Really quick?” I ask as he stands. His hand slides from my face and down my arm until he grips my hand.
He pulls me off the stool and then leads me straight back to where the bathrooms are, shutting us inside one.
He locks the door behind us and then immediately pulls his stiff cock out.
He reaches for me, sliding his hand up my dress and straight into my panties.
He pulls his hand back out, licks his fingers, then goes back again.
I keep eye contact with him the whole time.
He leans in and bites my lip before he drags his teeth down my neck.
I tilt my head, giving him better access.
“Fuck me,” I whisper. I want him inside me, not playing with me.
He nods his head and removes his fingers from between my legs.
Then he lifts me effortlessly and then lowers me straight onto his cock.
A gasp leaves me, and I wonder if I will ever get sick of him, sick of the way he makes me feel or the way he touches me.
I doubt it. I think he will be my favorite chapter yet.