Chapter 19
Dylon
“ Y ou’re almost to your first-year chip. How are you going to celebrate?” my sponsor asks. Her eyes focus on the plate in front of her. It’s a thing she does to give me space to answer without expectation.
The first thought that pops into my head is “get fucked,” but that isn’t the type of answer to blurt out to a middle-aged woman in a crowded diner. “I haven’t thought much about it. Celebrations are completely different now. I always had a few drinks so that won’t be happening.”
She smiles and pushes her plate back. “It’s a hard adjustment, especially when everyone else wants to toast. Do you face pressure to drink when you’re out with the team?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “I get cravings more when I’m alone or having trouble dealing with something. That’s much harder than ordering a soda in a bar.”
“You’ve done so well.” She tries to grab the bill when the server sets it down but I’m faster.
“Thanks to you. And we’ve talked about this.” I motion to the black folder with our receipt. She’s a teacher and isn’t broke, but I can’t let her pay.
“Next time we talk, I expect details on how you’re going to acknowledge your year of sobriety.”
“Slave driver,” I tease and toss cash into the bill folder. We stand and I hug her. “I couldn’t have gotten this far without you. ”
“The worst thing you can do is give someone else credit for your hard work. You did the work. Own it.” She pins me with a motherly glare, and we part ways.
It’s only been a couple of hours since I saw Lars at morning skate, but I’m anxious to get home. After last night’s game, we were starving and ate until a food coma set in. Too tired to prep for sex, we frotted and came all over each other, then slept like babies.
Even though his dick hasn’t been in my ass, each time, he tops the best sexual experience of my life. An intense combination of explosive fireworks and undeniable contentment while connecting with my person. It’s mind-blowing he wants me as much as I want him. I wonder if the constant urge will lessen once we have sex -sex.
“Lars?” I call out with surprise since he isn’t in sight. He usually sits at the kitchen counter so he’s the first thing I see when I get home. I toe off my shoes in the hall, set my hat on the island, listening for him.
Soft music plays in his room, so I follow the sound but stop short in the doorway. “Damn, I would’ve canceled my lunch for this.”
Lars’s naked body stretches out on the bed, and his face turns pink. He truly has no idea how beautiful he is. My attraction to him grows stronger every day.
Candles smelling like cardamon and sandalwood flicker on the bedside tables and the dresser. The sheets are a different color than the ones we slept on last night. He’s got my favorite snacks and a rainbow of drinks set out as well. He’s all about the sweets, but I’m a salty guy. Chips and pretzels are my jam.
He holds out a hand, and I launch myself at him. “Can you greet me like this every time I’m gone?” I’m on top, teasing him instead of admitting how touched I am. True to his word, he wants to make this special for me. For us. But all I need is him. Although the snacks are going to be epic post sex.
“You have too many clothes on,” he says instead of answering me.
My clothes hit the floor, and we kiss our way up the bed until our heads rest on the pillows. We sleep naked together, but there’s a heaviness in the air with the enormity of what we’re about to do. I thought I’d be nervous, but I know he’ll take care of me. I trust him completely.
“You should fuck me for our first time.” His fingers trace my tattoo .
My palm cups his jaw. “If we are going to place this memory in a vault of honor,” he chuckles at my words, “I want you to take me our first time. You’ve done all this and been my rock. I’m giving you this.” I’m dizzy and frenzied and half afraid I’ll blow too soon.
“No,” he says with a stricken expression, and I rear back. “Don’t do this because you are indebted to me. This isn’t about repaying me. I am not interested in atonement sex.”
“I’m not explaining it right. You mean so much to me, and all I can think about is you inside me. Before my first time.” I love his snarl of possession. “I never thought about being a virgin or what sex would mean. But this is important to me, and you are the only one I want in my ass. Only you because of who you are and how much you care about me. If you told me it would feel good to light myself on fire, I’d do it,” I say, and he scoffs.
“Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but in my mind, there is no one else I trust. I take so much from you. Your support, comfort, generosity. Let me give you this. Give you me .” His eyes shimmer as he listens. “Please, be my first, today, right now, this second, before I spontaneously combust all over your clean sheets.”
“ Our clean sheets,” he scolds. “But do not underestimate what you have given me—a full life outside of hockey. You have the biggest heart of any man I’ve known, showing me I don’t have to be perfect to matter. I never thought I would find a person to share my life with, and we fit.” His words are like Cupid’s bow, piercing me square in the chest as he runs his nose alongside mine, and my heart soars.
I can’t respond to his sweet statement because we’ll get off track. Finally, he’s ready to fuck me.
“I’m gonna clean up real quick and be right back.” I don’t wait, race-walking into the bathroom. Inhaling, I slow myself down since certain things can’t be rushed. After I finish, Lars lazily strokes himself, and I admire his irresistible cock. He’s longer and leaner than me everywhere, including his dick. It’s pointed at the ceiling and curves a little to the left. His fair skin flushes with my eyes on him and provides miles of places to kiss .
“For someone in a hurry, you seem content to stand there and stare.” His blue eyes flame with heat and snap me into action.
I climb onto the bed and straddle his thighs, taking his hot dick in my hand and hovering closely, inhaling minty mouthwash. “What’s the plan, put me out of my misery or tease me more?” His lips soften under mine, and he opens to deepen our kiss.
“Tell me what you fantasize about. Tell me how you want your first time.” His hands knead my ass cheeks.
“It will take weeks to work through my fantasies,” I quip. “Whatever’s best for you when you’re on the receiving end, let’s do that.” I want it all: to ride him, fuck him face to face, have him plow me from behind, holding me up by my throat. So many things to try.
“If you ride me,” he says, plucking the thought out of my head, “you can control the pace and depth. Or you can lie on your back and take what I give you.” My cock jumps at the second one. “On your back it is.” He flips me so fast it takes my breath away.
“I kinda like the idea of being at your mercy,” I say, and he growls. “You have a kinky side I can’t wait to get to know.” I buck my hips up, dying for more contact.
He doesn’t answer me but spreads my legs and hooks one over his shoulder to work me open with his mouth. My back bows as he exhales, warming my rim before lips ghost over my hole. He stiffens his tongue and drives his face between my cheeks. A whine for more scrapes out of me. I could come from his magical tongue alone, yet it’s not nearly enough. Craving his mouth, hands, and cock all at the same time.
He eats my ass as if he won’t get another chance. As if he’s mapping it out to remember for later. Watching something and experiencing it are not even close to the same thing. Like the difference between seeing a picture of the ocean and standing with your toes in the tide. One rouses interest, and the other stimulates all your senses and changes your perspective on the world. The only thing grounding me in his onslaught of pleasure are his hands and mouth. I miss the weight of him on me, but I need him in charge .
The flame in his eyes gets brighter with each of my moans.
My clever boyfriend stashed the lube and condoms under the pillow, and I need clarification right now.
“Sugar, are you my boyfriend?” The term of endearment slips out, and in my blissed-out state, I drag the word out, emphasizing the “sha” and rolling the R at the end. I love the way it rolls off my tongue and how his eyes dilate. I’m the only one who gets his sweet, sugary side.
“I hope so. Is that what you want?” He keeps his fingers inside me but leans over for a kiss. With Lars, I know he wants to be what I need him to be. When I say yes, his face lights up. “Then I am officially your boyfriend. I thought we decided this when we said we would be exclusive.” He kisses my ear.
“You implied it, but I had to hear you say the words.” I’m not sure why I’m insecure and needy when it comes to him.
We kiss as he works three fingers inside me and I’m panting. “I would like to fuck my boyfriend now.” He grins down at me.
“I’ve been waiting my entire life for this.” The words tumble out, but I don’t take them back or examine them too closely. Instead, I roll the condom down his length and guide him to my hole.
He angles himself so we can watch him enter me, and I exhale the air in my lungs. It stings, but slow isn’t an option, and I use my heels to press up and take him in farther. The pain anchors me to the reality of being with a man. My man. My best friend.
His strong hand guides my pelvis back to the bed. “Take it. Only what I give you.” A thrill travels throughout my body faster than a hundred-mile-an-hour slap shot.
“Watch until I bottom out.” His arms support his weight, allowing us the best view, and I bend my knees, bringing them up toward my waist. The fascination of my body engulfing him mitigates the pain. A giddy bubble of exhilaration forms as I watch in awe.
“Look at you sucking me in. Your greedy hole squeezing so tight, holding me in.” His words are audio porn, releasing endorphins all over the bed. His hips slide back and forth, only allowing his cock halfway in then retreating .
I tighten my inner muscles to test if I can hold him captive inside me. It doesn’t work, but it’s so damn good, the goodest good of all time kinda great. Lars pants and adjusts his position to give his wrists a break.
On his next thrust, he plunges three quarters of his length in. His head lifts, and he sucks my nipple with our eyes locked.
“I need to see your face when you take all of me.” He drives in, bottoming out, until his balls slap my cheeks. I’ve never been so full, yet so desperate for more.
My body buzzes urgently, anticipating what’s next. Not only has he opened my ass, but it’s as if he’s opened all of me. Flayed me wide for the onslaught of sensations. Stripped to the core, submitting to the rightness of us. This is who I’m meant to be with him, for him. Only him.
The candles create a vibe, but what I love is Lars’s scent of crisp linen and fresh air with an underlying sweetness. My sugar.
The Egyptian sheets caress my back. The music provides a thumping bass to match his slow pace. When he holds himself still, his fervent blue eyes assessing if I’m okay, I dissolve, puddling with an ache to conform into his exact match. Fill in his cracks and become what he’s been missing to make him whole. Make both of us whole together.
I can’t stop touching him everywhere I can reach. The short hair at the nape of his neck, the rounded deltoids of his shoulders. His smooth pecs and the very fine blond hairs trailing down the middle of his chest to the perfect V. My fingers dip into the grooves, then grip his hips.
All the while, he tunnels in and out of me, and I meet his thrusts, careful not to exert more force than him.
When I meet his eyes, he steals my breath. His reverence and devotion are written all over his face. All my life, I’ve hidden behind my smile, but not with him. It’s an overwhelming act to discard my happy mask and let my heart speak, spilling over my face. To tell him with all that I am, that I’m his and he’s what I want. The passion between us spins, creating a hurricane of emotions that decimate any doubts and wipes out everything so we can rebuild a new us on top of the old.
I feel cherished and adored while being plowed.
His usually stern face lights the room with contagious happiness. I’m not prepared for him to lift my ass off the bed so he strikes my prostate or his look of triumph. I’m suspended in a space where I never want this to end, yet I’m ready to succumb to the voracious pending orgasm.
“Hold on,” he demands, and for him, I’ll hold on forever. Hold off until he tells me to let go.
“If I believed in heaven, this would be it.” He speeds up his punishing pace. “Our bodies fit as if created by a divine entity for each other.” It’s as if he’s speaking to himself, marveling at what’s happening.
It’s so much more than sex. He’s also laid bare before my eyes to see into his soul. I treasure his gift. This is more than him taking my male virginity, it’s also him giving himself fully to me. I hold off for him, suspended in a state of euphoria.
My cock weeps on my stomach, and I know the second one of us touches it, I’ll tip over the edge.
Finally, he has mercy on me. “Let me feel you come all over my cock, k?raste . I need your cum.” An animalistic howl rips from his chest.
His eyes hypnotize me as I stroke myself and freefall from the highest mountain through the hurricane of us into ecstasy. White spots dot my vision, but his flaming blue gaze cleaves me to him as the sensations take me outside of my body, catapulting me into the next galaxy.
I memorize how the light reflects the color of his eyes, the softness in his brow, and the shape of his mouth when he empties into me. I’ve never been religious, but he’s not of this earth, a god among men.
He anchors me until my pulse slows and I catch my breath. I had no idea sex could be an out-of-body experience, connecting us and doubling the intensity.
Lars lowers himself gently on my chest, and I tug him so his full weight blankets me, disregarding the sticky mess between us. I need the security of it. He buries his head in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply and slowly exhaling. The gravity of my feelings itch and prickle.
“Welp, now you’ve done it.” I palm his ass .
“What?” His voice is hoarse.
“You’ve ruined me for any other man. I hope you’re happy with yourself.” I huff in a mock complaint. With Lars inside me, there’s a click. We’re physically joined as close as two men can be, and sex soldered an additional emotional bond.
He lifts his head, snakes his hand over my stomach, and scoops up my cum. Wordlessly, he sucks his fingers, and his eyes roll back in his head.
“Fuck. You just…” I can’t finish the thought.
He kisses me and feeds me a few drops of my orgasm, and I’m done. I grab my other wrist and pull it over my head.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m checking for a pulse to make sure I’m still alive.” My pulse hammers under my thumb so either this is a very vivid dream or I’m living in a fantasy. “No words for that.”
“Good or bad?” Lars asks with trepidation.
“You broke the one to ten scale. That was infinity, and I’m mad at you.” How could the first time be so good? He raises an eyebrow. “We’re never going to top that.”
“Oh, min k?rlek , we are just getting started. Someday I’m going to fill your hole with my cum and watch it dribble out, then feed it to you. And you will fuck me as well.” He pets my sweaty hair.
“More dirty talk.” I groan. “Jesus.” My spent dick jumps.
“No need for formal names. Call me Lars.”
“I’m calling you Sugar from now on,” I say with a laugh when his nose scrunches up. “You smell so sweet, daring me to lick every inch of you.” I notice the different reaction when I say the word normally. He likes it drawn out just for him.
“We’ll decide that later when all your brain cells aren’t in your balls.” His hand tightly grips the scruff of my neck.
“Oh, I’ve decided, Sha-u-ga-rrrr.” I grin in response to his soft eyes.
His head drops to my shoulder, and he bursts out laughing. “Only you could think I’m sweet. ”
“The world sees the fierce dragon, but I get the Sugar. You’re my Sugar.” I love the way he flushes as he presses a closed-mouth kiss to my lips.
“I…” Lars hesitates with uncertainty, but I can see the change before he speaks again. “I want you in my bed for the rest of the day.”
“Don’t have to ask me twice.” We kiss as if it’s the endgame, but I really want to know what he was going to say first.