Chapter 34
Lars
T hose words careen around my head, sending me skyrocketing to the heavens. Happiness and joy are a part of the buoyancy lifting my spirit, but it’s so much more. My body might burst trying to contain the love, but then I let go and soar.
Dylon loves me.
His eyes shimmer with the truth of his love.
All my fear and panic fade into the background. He is not perfect, and there is more to work out but we will. We will have a lifetime to figure out the best way to love each other.
Lunging forward, I cradle his face. “I love you with all that I am.” My lips hover over his, but then I release him and cover my mouth. “I cannot get you sick.”
“Sugar.” He removes my hand and crashes our lips together. “I told you,” he says into my mouth, “at this point, you’re not getting me sick, and I’m not letting you go.”
I crawl into his lap, craving his touch and attention. My heart fills and overflows.
Dylon loves me.
We kiss slow and languid, pledging our love with each brush of our tongues, with each soft caress .
“I never thought I would have you. I have been terrified of losing you, and I run through all the ways it could go wrong. You could change your mind, or your addiction could take over, or we grow apart and you withhold affection.” I’m not usually dramatic, but the last week has been hell. All those possibilities still exist, but they don’t hold power over me.
“I keep thinking you’re going to wake up and realize you can do so much better and kick me to the curb.”
He rains kisses down my neck, and I take my shirt off to give him better access. He nudges me up so he can get his shirt off too. My skin has been starved for his.
“Never. You are the one who has never been with a man. I am afraid you will miss all the normalcy of being with a woman or want to experiment with other men and leave me.”
Dylon picks me up and lays me out on the couch, blanketing me with his body.
“I’ve never been in love before because I didn’t understand it. Lars, you taught me what it means to be loved. How to love. No one has ever put my well-being first. I’ve also done some thinking about labels, and I still don’t like them, but the more I think about it, the more I’m sure I’m demisexual. I don’t think about sex like any person I’ve known. Until we had sex. Then it changed my life. I shied away from sex and romance, probably from a combination of my family and not understanding I need an emotional connection first.”
I hold Dylon’s head, anchoring him in place, and stroke his cheeks, calming him.
“I love you no matter your label. You are not a label. You’re you. I love all of you, the incredible parts and the parts that need glue to keep them together and the things you need a little work on. All of it makes up who you are, and I do not want to change you. I love you as is. Thank you for trusting me with your heart and giving me the privilege of your love. I’m proud of you.” He’s tackled so many issues that would break a lesser man.
“I don’t deserve you. I—”
“You deserve me, and we can work through all of it. I promise. But today, can you believe I love you and focus on that?” He nods and his body sags on top of me, letting all the tension go.
Dylon’s eyes are a kaleidoscope of blues and greens with shooting stars of gold. He props himself up, cupping my jaw as his thumb runs over my bottom lip. “Baby, I love you.”
It shouldn’t feel as monumental as it does. He already said it in the most descriptive Dylon way. But I’m boneless with the term of endearment. Maybe it heals the part of me that didn’t hear it enough as a child, but I am putty in his hands.
I kiss him to tell him how much I love him too, nudging his hand so he collapses onto me. His solid weight reminds me I’m solid too.
“Can we go back to the life-changing sex part? I like that part,” I say directly into his ear.
His laugh hits me everywhere. “You’ve turned me into a sex maniac. A maniac swan who mates for life. You’re stuck with me, like, stalker-level stuck.”
I’m not sure who moves first, but our clothed dicks slide along each other and he groans.
“Why does the thought of you stalking me turn me on? It is so wrong.” My hand works its way past the elastic of his sweatpants and boxers to clutch his ass.
“We can roleplay stalking when you’re fully recovered. You can run an errand, and I’ll follow you, sneak into the building and surprise you in the bedroom, then have my way with you.” Dylon bites my nipple, and I arch up. “We should stop. You probably need a nap.”
“You tease me with a sexy stalking scenario and then tell me I need a nap. Your sex talk needs work.” He’s inched forward, and when I rock my hips, my raging hard-on pokes his crease.
“I want you so bad, but the doctor gave me strict instructions not to let you wear yourself out when you start feeling better.” He squeezes the base of his cock, and I lick my lips .
“I have been resting for days. My boyfriend said he loves me but will not give me his dick. I am renegotiating how this relationship works.” I sound whiny. It’s probably remnants of the fever stealing all my coherent brain cells.
He grins down at me, and his beautiful dimple appears, unexpectedly bringing tears to my eyes.
“Hey.” Dylon’s thumb traces the skin under my eyelashes. “I’m not going anywhere. This is about me putting your well-being first.” He sits up straighter with a gleam in his eye. “Unless I do all the work. Nurse Dylon could ride you like you’re my good patient.”
“Or…” I pause. “You could fuck me.” I’m dying for his cock inside me. “I will lay here and take your gorgeous cock until you fill me with your cum.”
“Fucking hell. How am I supposed to say no to that?” He stands and I instantly miss his body heat, but then I’m scooped up in his arms. “I’m not fucking you for the first time on the couch. I need our bed so I can worship you the way you’ve worshipped me.” He turns sideways to enter the bedroom, and I growl, hating the helplessness.
Dylon throws his head back with a boisterous laugh, exposing his throat. “God, I love your possessive side. You’re itching to manhandle me but relax, I’ll take good care of you.”
“You’re—”
“Tell me how much you love it when my cum is dripping out of you, not before.” He gently lowers me to the bed. And he’s so happy, I could never deny him.
“Today, I’m in charge. You don’t move or breathe unless I give you permission.” He palms my rigid cock over my clothes. “Hmm, no arguments. You like that idea.” Dylon places a chaste kiss to my lips, and I chase him for more.
“Ah, ah. You lie there like a good boy.” He tsks at me.
I grumble but cannot hide my huge smile. He stands on the side of the bed and does a striptease to take off his clothes.
“If you’re trying to put me back in a coma, you might succeed. ”
He flashes me his dimple over his shoulder and the top half of his crack, only to cover it back up. He lifts his shirt, twisting to show off his abs and his tattoo as he rolls his hips. My dick jumps in response.
Dylon tears off his clothes and pounces on the bed. “I thought I could tease you and take this slow, but I’m dying to taste you.” He quickly yet gently removes my clothes so I’m laid out for him.
He sits on his heels between my legs and taps the very tip of his middle finger against my lips, and I kiss it, but he runs it slowly down my chin and I tilt back so he can trace my throat.
“It is bizarre I’m obsessed with your Adam’s apple. I get turned on when you’re gulping water or swallowing hard, trying to resist putting my hands on you.”
“Not bizarre,” I croak as his finger lingers in the hollow of my throat before continuing a path to my breastbone and detouring to each nipple. By the time he reaches the fine blond hair below my navel, I’m panting.
“Spread your legs wider,” he demands, and I bend my knees to open for him.
His finger journeys down my cock, over my balls, and taps my hole like he did my lips. I tighten the ring in a pseudo kiss.
“Fuck. That’s hot,” Dylon says, and I grip the back of his neck. “You’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you for not taking control.” He rewards me with light strokes to my hole.
“It is killing me,” I huff.
“No, it’s not. I would never kill the man I love.” He kisses me deeply, pouring all of his emotions into me. I’m so full of mine I’m positive the cells in my body can’t hold all the love and will combust into dust.
“You’ll be fine.” He smiles into our kiss, and I open my eyes to find him looking at me. I have never kissed someone with my eyes open, and his vulnerability is laid out, trusting me to care for him. The gold flecks in his eyes shine as bright as the sun, and my heart expands to the size of the universe, absorbing all our love and tucking it safely in an impenetrable fortress.
He kisses his way down my body, swirling his tongue around my nipples. My cock leaks on my belly, and he laps it up with a satisfied hum. Next, he buries his nose in my balls. “I love the way you smell. Is this why you would bury your nose in my armpit?”
“I do not remember doing that but yes. Your smell is stronger there, and it is my comfort smell. My home.” My traitorous skin flushes pink with my declaration.
“You are the first person to give me a true home. A place where I’m safe and cared for. Where I can be my weird self and not worry about being judged.” He nuzzles my balls, and I cannot hold back the moan.
“I judge,” I tease. “But I love it. Can I touch you?” My needy voice makes him grin.
“You may,” he says extra formally.
My fingers thread through his hair as he ducks his head to suck my balls. I clench when he licks my rim.
“Is this okay? Would you prefer I don’t?” His hazel eyes are full of questions.
“No. Yes. I mean, I want it. You surprised me.” I shut my eyes, fisting the sheets so I don’t shove his head back down.
“I got you, Sugar.” As he rolls the R, it rumbles over me, loosening my joints and dissolving my solid form. “There you go, relax for me. I’m starving.” There’s no hesitation in the way he eats my ass.
My legs splay impossibly wider, and I send a quick thank-you to the yoga gods. Dylon takes his time, tasting me and listening to my sounds to figure out what I like. I love it all, and when his hands slide under my cheeks to lift me closer to his mouth, I tug his hair in approval, relishing the reverberation in his throat.
He lulls me into a dreamlike state, floating mindlessly. I only know I’m real by the press of his tongue and the nip of his teeth. I submit to him completely, succumbing to his will. He’s the first person I’ve allowed full control over my body. Despite our issues, I trust him implicitly.
“I’m close,” I warn, and he instantly stops.
“You’re not coming until I’m so far up your ass you feel me in your throat.”
“Yes, that,” I beg. “ Pleeeease.”
Dylon crawls up my body to kiss me while his long arm reaches for the lube, and I taste myself on him. I seize his jaw, enamored with our combined tastes.
“So needy for me. Mr. Dominant has a submissive, soft side just for me.” He coats his cock with lube.
“Just for you,” I agree and curse him for setting the rules that I cannot move without permission.
“Everything with you has been spectacular, and I hope this is good for you.” Dylon turns serious.
“Should I say you’re the best I’ve ever had even before you fuck me? That I could come from the sight alone of you about to enter me? Should I tell you how pretty you are?” I ask so he has no doubts.
It works.
“Tell me again after,” he says, pushing in an inch. I breathe out and concentrate on the pleasure on his face, not the initial burn.
“More,” I plead, unable to impale myself on him.
He braces a hand by my head. “I won’t go too fast or hurt you.”
“You are perfect. Now fuck me.” I growl, then add, “Please, I need to be full of you.”
That snaps his control, and he bottoms out, his entire body tense. “Fucking, fuckity fuck. I’m about to…” He inhales through his nose and blows the breath slowly out of his mouth in rhythmic breathing. His eyes pop open and find mine. “If I die right now, I’ve got zero regrets.”
“If you die now, I’ll bring you back to kill you again.” I am stretched full and ravenous for more. It’s been a long time, but this feels like the first time. Dylon is inside me. He unlocks sensations and emotions, making this a purely brand-new experience.
It’s a new beginning. A joining of our bodies and a commitment for the rest of our lives.
His hips roll, and my eyes disappear in my head with a grunt torn from my gut. He does it again, faster and slower, to find the pace that has me begging .
“Hold on to the headboard,” he instructs and pistons in and out of me, igniting more nerve endings as he hits my prostate at the right angle. Sparks become a raging fire, spreading from my ass outward.
My body, mind, and soul belong to him. He slows, lowering onto my chest, linking our hands and kissing me senseless. The shallow plunges aren’t enough, yet the sensations are too much. I’m so close to tipping over the edge, but he’s purposely holding me back to prolong our lovemaking.
No one has ever made love to me before, and that’s what this is. There’s no denying the expanse of the moment.
I’m babbling in a combination of Swedish and English. “Jag ?lskar dig. You own my heart. My body is yours.”
“You are my home. My love. My everything.” He levers up and picks up his pace. “Come first.”
My balls tighten, and I spill between us with a groan my ancestors can hear across the ocean. He follows, filling me with his cum.
Dylon collapses on me. “This will be a problem,” he continues before I can overthink. “How are we going to tell Coach that from now on we’re inseparable? Like, I’m not ever leaving your ass. It might make face-offs tricky, but once we get the rhythm down, it’ll be fine.”
“Yes,” I agree, kissing his sweaty head. “No one will notice. Once we get our rhythm.” I cant my hips and tighten around him. “All the fans will love it.”
“Fuck ’em all. I love it.” Dylon rocks his hips.
“You just want me to tell you how you blew my mind, and that was by far the best sex not only in the world but in the universe and galaxies far far away. And you are the prettiest swan I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
“Keep talking. You get extra points for movie references.”