Chapter Thirty-Nine
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
MCKINSEY
A man’s voice echoes in my head.
I recognize the tone, but without being able to hear it clearly, I don’t know who it belongs to.
Then, as though someone adjusted the dial on a radio, it becomes clear.
Draven.
He’s telling me he loves me.
He’s begging me to fight.
Who am I fighting?
He sounds scared.
I need to go to him.
I have to make sure he’s okay.
But like in most nightmares, I can’t get my body to move.
I struggle to remove the weight I feel around my hand.
And then it’s gone, and it feels like my hand is floating.
But that’s ridiculous.
Why would it be floating?
What’s happening?
I want to see Draven.
Why can’t I get to him?
Open your eyes, McK. It’s that simple. If you want to do something, do it.
Fucking do it.
A blinding light slices through my vision as I fight to keep my eyes open, even a sliver.
“Kins…” Draven chokes out, and even pained, my name on his lips is the most wonderful sound in the world.
He looks conflicted, like he wants to pounce on me, but he doesn’t want to hurt me.
Then he’s shouting for the nurse.
I wince at how loud it is; it hurts my ears. Why is he calling for a nurse?
“What’s wrong?” a woman’s voice calls into the room.
“She-she’s awake.” Draven tells her as she joins him at the side of my bed.
“There you are.” The nurse speaks as though she’s been waiting for me.
Her smile shines almost as bright as the light she moves between my eyes, causing them to water.
“My name is Heidi. Can you tell me your name, sweetheart?”
McKinsey.
I think I say it out loud, but when they both continue to stare at me in anticipation, I doubt myself. I try again to tell her, my brain screams my name at me, but I can’t get my mouth to move.
“Can you tell me where you are or why you’re here?”
I’m in the hospital, that much is obvious.
But I rack my brain to remember why I’m here.
Heidi and Draven both look from me to each other. “I’m going to go get the doctor.”
When Draven’s fear-filled eyes meet mine again, I want to pull him into my arms and promise him that everything is going to be okay.
But how can I do that if I can’t move?
If I can’t speak?
What am I doing here?
What’s wrong with me?
I struggle to keep my heavy eyes open.
“Stay with me, Kins. Please .” Tears stream down Draven’s face. “I haven’t had my fill of you yet. Please, let me look into those gorgeous eyes of yours a little longer.”
I want to keep them open for him. I want it more than anything in the world. I give it my all, opening and closing them two more times until I lose my strength again.
An anguished cry cracks through the room before everything goes silent once more.
* * *
“Hi, I’m Olivia. Your roommate.”
“Presenting McKinsey Ann Caraway, Doctor of Psychology.”
“Be a good girl and get in the car, Doc.”
“Reckless. Desire. Like I’ve never felt before…”
“I will never give up on you.”
“...it’s easier bearing your soul to someone you’re in love with.”
“How could you think for one second I wouldn’t be here?”
“We need to throw everything we can at this. It’s our best shot.”
On a constant loop, the most impactful words ever spoken to me play like a broken record.
At the end of which the last interaction I had with Draven is whispered in my head before it starts over again.
“I love you, Kins. Forever.”
“Forever.”
Forever.
These words are what I cling to.
My motivation. My life. My everything.
They are what bring me back from the edge.