Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Logan
The worst feeling is knowing you've
hurt someone you care about deeply.
~ Unknown
“Has anyone seen Olivia?” I step into the open workspace and address everyone.
Do I look a little frantic? Concerned? Crazed?
I don’t care. Something doesn’t feel right.
Olivia was there one minute, planning to go to lunch with me, flirting in a workplace-appropriate way, working on the deli project, and then she got the call from Lynette and stepped out into the hallway. I took my eyes off her when Darwin came in to give me the good news.
When I looked around for Olivia, she was gone. Darwin and I walked down the hall from the conference room together, and she was nowhere. It was as if she vanished into thin air.
At first, I assumed she went to the restroom. But she’s been gone for nearly twenty minutes.
I sent her a text asking where she went, and she never answered.
I called. It went to voicemail.
Finally, I walked by the women’s restrooms, popped the door open a centimeter and shouted, “Olivia?” Waited. Shouted her name again.
A woman’s voice yelled back. “Not Olivia!”
I have half a mind to leave work to go looking for her.
Leaving without saying anything to me is not like her.
Charlie walks over to me.
“Olivia left,” he says. “I jokingly asked her if she had a hot lunch date and she said, ‘Something like that,’ and then she mumbled something about explaining later. She was in a rush.”
“A hot lunch date? We were going to lunch.”
It doesn’t make sense.
Charlie’s explanation makes me more concerned, not less.
Suze walks up to me and Charlie. “Something was off about Olivia. She said she had to pick up her niece. When I asked if her niece was okay, Olivia said yes. But she was rattled. I know my girl, and she was unsettled about something. She said she would text you and call Lydia.”
“She didn’t,” I say, more to myself than anyone else.
“She probably got caught up in whatever’s going on with her niece. I’m sure she’ll text when she has a minute.”
I should feel appeased. Suze’s explanation makes sense. Olivia acts as a backup for her sister all the time. She did step out to take a call from Lynette. She’s picking Cassidy up from school. That’s it.
But why didn’t she text or call me, or pop her head into the conference room to say she wouldn’t make our lunch date? That’s not like her—at all. Something isn’t adding up. And why would she have been rattled if Cassidy is okay? The longer I think about it, the more certain I am that there's something else going on. Olivia is not okay. Suze wouldn’t say she was rattled if she had been calm.
“I’m taking an early lunch,” I tell Charlie and Suze. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Of course,” Suze says. “Go find her. Make sure she’s okay. I’m sure seeing you will help—whatever it is.”
I put my phone to my ear as I hurry out of the room toward the elevator. I call Olivia again.
Her voicemail answers after the first few rings.
“Hey! You’ve reached Olivia. If that’s who you were looking for, leave me a message. If you’re looking for someone else, I hope you find them.”
I chuckle. The phone beeps. “Hey, Olivia. It’s me, Logan. I am looking for you. Literally. I thought we had lunch plans. I searched all over Barnes for you. I may have even mildly overstepped by shouting into the women’s restroom. Suze said you left to pick up Cassidy. Is she okay? Are you okay? I’m leaving work now to try to find you. Call me if you get this.”
I click the end button. The elevator doors open. I walk to my car and get into the driver’s seat. Then I close my eyes in an attempt to clear my head. Where would she be? Her apartment? Probably. At least that’s the most reasonable place to start hunting.
I turn the ignition and drive to The Serendipity.
In the lobby, I take the elevator, figuring it’s faster than I’d be able to run up the stairs. I hit the button for the second floor and watch the doors shut slowly. Too slowly.
Something plinks on my head. I look up. Then I look at the ground. A fortune cookie is sitting near my feet. Did that thing literally drop out of the sky and hit me on the head? Was it taped to the ceiling of the elevator?
The doors open to our floor. I bend to grab the cookie and step out of the elevator.
I start to walk toward Olivia’s apartment, and I step on another cookie.
What is going on?
I pick up the crunched remnants and hold both cookies in my hand.
I carry the cookies with me and walk into the lounge. Another cookie drops from above me and pings off my nose. I look up, ready to confront whomever is either throwing or dropping these things. No one is around.
I pick the cookie off the floor where it landed.
“Okay. Okay,” I say out loud for no apparent reason. “I’ll open them.”
I shove two of the cookies in my pocket and open the one from the elevator.
The fortune says, Winning isn’t everything—unless it’s her heart.
“Coincidental,” I mutter, feeling an awful lot like Scrooge when he was haunted by three specters in one night—only I’m being haunted by crisp after-dinner soundbites of wisdom.
“I’m already winning her heart,” I mutter.
I pull the crushed cookie out of my pocket and open it next.
It says, What’s more important? Your job or your relationship?
What kind of fortune is that?
“That’s not a fortune,” I say out loud. And then I add, as if someone’s listening, “Obviously my relationship is infinitely more important.”
I stuff the two opened cookies and their wrappers into my pocket, crumbs and bits included, and then I take out the final cookie, the one that hit me on the nose. I turn it over in my hand. Then I look around. Who is behind all this?
Curiosity gets the better of me, and I open the cookie.
The fortune floors me. If a woman matters to you, sacrifice everything to win her heart .
If I didn’t know better, I’d say these were planted here. They almost form a message between the three of them. Of course, they don’t. How could they? Still … the words on those little scraps of paper reverberate in my mind while I walk to Olivia’s apartment.
I’m carefully glancing upward, to the side, and to the ground in case another cookie appears out of nowhere. None do, of course. Because cookies don’t just appear out of nowhere.
I knock on the door, my mind a jumble of concern for Olivia and preoccupation with the origin of these random but far-too-applicable cookies.
The door swings open, and I start to speak, but then my brain catches up with my eyes.
“Megan? What are you doing here? Is Olivia here? Have you seen her?”
“One: Yes. It’s me. Two: I’m here because Olivia needs me. Three: She is here. Four: I have seen her.”
Meagan’s standing in such a way that she fully blocks my entry to Olivia’s apartment.
“May I see her? She left work early. We were going to have lunch. She didn’t even say goodbye. I’m concerned. Is she okay?”
“No, you may not see her. I’m aware she left early. Also aware you were going to have lunch. She’ll say goodbye when she’s good and ready. And you ought to be concerned. And she’ll probably kill me for answering this last one, but no. She isn’t okay.”
“What? She’s not okay? Megan. I have to see her. What happened?”
“Logan, I’m a lot of things. Loyal is at the top of that list. You are not going to see Olivia right now. She’s resting. The last person on earth she needs to see right now is you.”
“What? Why would I be the last person she needs to see right now?”
Megan stares at me like I’m the village idiot—and I must be.
I run my hand through my hair.
“I have to see her.”
“You don’t.”
I stare into Megan’s eyes. She could work for the King’s Guard at Buckingham palace. All she needs is a big furry hat. She’s unwavering, and her facial expression doesn’t flinch even a little.
I take a deep breath, running my hand through my hair again.
“Megan, the woman I love is suffering. I need to see her. Please.”
“Come in!” Davy Jones squawks. “Let ’im in! All Abooooard!”
Megan squints at me. Her arms remain crossed across her chest.
“Who is it?” Olivia’s voice comes from down her hallway.
“No one,” Megan shouts back to her. “Go rest. It’s just …”
“Me!” I shout in the doorway. “It’s me, Olivia. Can I come in? I don’t know what’s going on. I’m worried about you.”
Olivia shows up behind Megan, and the sight of her hits me like a punch to the gut. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and she looks like she’s lost something precious. The urge to pull her into my arms surges through me.
Those cookies feel like they’re burning a hole in my pocket.
Winning isn’t everything—unless it’s her heart.
What’s more important? Your job or your relationship?
If a woman matters to you, sacrifice everything to win her heart.
“Olivia?” Her name is all I can manage to say.
“Logan.” Her voice is numb, lifeless.
“May I come in? Can you tell me what’s going on?”
Megan steps even more fully in front of Olivia, clearly willing to take me on if I cross the threshold. Whatever this is, it’s obvious Megan thinks I’m at the heart of it.
Winning isn’t everything … What’s more important? Your job or your relationship?
Winning? At my job? The promotion!
“Is this about the promotion?” I ask.
“Ding, ding, ding.” Megan taps her nose while she makes the sound of a winning bell.
I glance at Megan. “Please, give me a minute. If she asks me to leave, I will.”
Megan looks back at Olivia.
Olivia gives a weary nod.
Megan waves her arm, ushering me in. “I’ll be right in her bedroom. If she needs a bouncer, believe me, I’ll be happy to do the job.”
I nod. Then I turn to Olivia. “When you want me to leave, I’ll go. You won’t need a bouncer.”
“Have a seat,” she says without looking at me.
I walk into the living room and sit on the overstuffed chair, leaving her the whole couch.
She plops down on the far corner, as far away from me as possible.
We’re quiet for a few beats. She’s looking around her apartment, anywhere but at me. Finally, her eyes land on the windows.
“I wanted that apartment,” she says.
“That apartment?”
“2B. Gran’s place. I applied for it. But you got here first. I know you didn’t know. But I ended up here, in a smaller apartment with bad plumbing and a faulty electrical system and the squeaky door and a view of a parking garage.”
Her voice is like the color grey. Lifeless, defeated. I’ve never seen her like this. In all my life, she’s always been a fighter, my greatest competitor, a worthy opponent.
“I knew you applied for 2B. You told me in passing. I didn’t know how much it mattered to you,” I tell her.
If a woman matters to you, sacrifice everything to win her heart . It’s almost like a voice is saying the words from the cookie in my pocket.
“Do you want it now?”
“What?”
“Do you want the apartment? We could swap. I’m sure we’d have to file some paperwork, but if it means that much to you, you can have 2B. I’ll take this one.”
She looks over at me for the first time since I stepped into her place.
“That’s … no. That’s not the point, Logan. The point is you always win. And this time, you didn’t even let me know you were competing with me. You just stepped into the place where I’ve worked for six whole years, proving myself, giving my all, and in a matter of months, you stole the promotion right out from under me.”
“You wanted the promotion?”
“Of course, I wanted the promotion!” Her voice is animated, and the blood is returning to her face.
“I had no idea.”
She stares at me as if she’s trying to assess the veracity of my claim.
“I didn’t know,” I repeat. “You never said anything about wanting to be a manager. I thought you loved content development.”
“I thought you loved content development too, Logan.” Her lips thin, and her brows raise.
“I do. And I would eventually have been in line for management at my old job. But the managers weren’t lining up to leave anytime soon. When I came on at Barnes, Darwin mentioned the possibility of the promotion to me. I didn’t know you were in the running. He never said anything about you … until today.”
She looks away again.
“It always ends up like this. I end up second … or just pushed out. You always win.” Olivia turns toward me, her eyes wet with unshed tears.
She breathes out a sigh. “I meant to tell you this right after we started dating. I tried to tell you everything that one day at Barnes, but I wanted to be alone with you, and then we’ve just been so busy—distracted—that I never brought it up.”
Olivia breathes another heavy sigh and draws her knees up to her chest. “I used to think your sole purpose in life was to undermine me at every turn. All the evidence pointed to you plotting your victories at my expense. I’d enter a contest. You’d enter and win. I’d be up for an award, you’d end up claiming it. I’d run for an election, you’d be nominated and assume the position.”
I study her, grateful she’s finally telling me all of this, even if it feels so wrong. I’d never win at her expense. Not intentionally. I might have pulled stunts in high school. But now, I’d never deliberately rip something away from her if I knew she wanted it and had been working for it.
Olivia swipes at a tear, and then she says, “I thought we were beyond all that. I believed you when you said you never wanted to hurt me again. And you might not have plotted this. Maybe you couldn’t have even prevented it, but I can’t help but feel a huge sense of déjà vu. Here comes Logan again, marching into a place I’ve been for six years, cultivating relationships, working harder and smarter than ever. And within his first ninety days on the job, he gets the promotion I’ve been eyeing for years. It’s just how it is with us, Logan. You’ll always outshine me. And you’ll always steal my thunder. I don’t know how I can live in your shadow and also be your girlfriend.”
I stare at her, dumbfounded.
Gil essentially said the same thing.
A montage flits through my mind, flashing through memories of times I won awards or positions. Each time, I see Olivia. It’s like I never truly saw how my winning impacted her until now.
If a woman matters to you, sacrifice everything to win her heart .
Olivia looks at me, a pleading expression on her face. “I wanted to believe this time was different. You had me so convinced. I … there’s nothing else to say.”
Every cell in my body wants to move down the couch, to pull her in and hold her, to comfort her and soak up all the pain she’s endured over the years along with the heartache I caused her today.
I’m a good candidate for the management position. We both know that. But regardless of our respective qualifications, this isn’t completely about who’s qualified. Olivia’s anger goes deeper. It’s about me going for the position without considering how it would impact her. I see now that has been a pattern—one I didn’t acknowledge as much as I should. My vision narrows when I set a goal or see something I want. I aim for the finish line, focused and driven. All these years, I’ve been blind to my impact on her.
“I wish I could hold you right now,” I confess.
“Don’t, Logan. Please.”
“Okay. Okay. It’s just breaking me to see you like this. I want to take it all away. To make it better. I want to comfort you, Olivia.”
I sigh and run my hands through my hair again.
Olivia looks away, staring out the window.
“I have always admired you,” I tell her. “In high school, I was immature and young. But I still admired you. Competing with you always pushed me to achieve more.”
She glances back at me.
I hold her gaze.
We’re quiet, staring at one another.
I want to shout at that cookie. How could it even ask me what was more important? Olivia is more important—than any job or any other thing in my life.
“I never meant to overshadow you. I have an inner drive to win. The idea of rejecting an opportunity I’ve worked hard for never occurred to me. I lost sight of what matters most. I didn’t know you were being considered. I should have asked—or assumed. I’m a severe case of the worst kind of tunnel vision.”
“I’m really tired, Logan. I don’t think we’re going to resolve this in a conversation. I believe you didn’t intentionally steal this position from me. I thought you knew I wanted it. I don’t know why you didn’t pause to think of me. Everyone else there knows I was a prime candidate.”
I don’t have anything to say. I should have considered her. Of course, I should have. She’s amazing at what she does. She’s been there, proving herself, for years. I assumed she wasn’t interested, and I gunned for the position as soon as Darwin let me know I was in the running.
Olivia’s face is softer—not exactly open, but not as closed off.
She looks at me and says, “When I left Barnes today, I was under the impression you knew I was a candidate. Darwin said it came down to the two of us. I thought you were totally aware I was shooting my shot. I felt betrayed. Like you ripped the rug out from under me.”
“If I had known you were interested in the position, I would have talked with you about it.”
Olivia’s quiet. Her feet are still up on the couch, her arms wrapped around her knees. She looks young and vulnerable, completely unlike the dynamic powerhouse she’s capable of being.
I sit back in the chair, attempting to give Olivia space to think. I have a feeling she’s about to ask me to leave. And I wonder if I’ll ever be asked back here once I walk out her door.
“I just need time to process everything,” she says.
“Take all the time you need. I can just stay in this chair. I’ll text my dog walker. She can feed Rhett and take him out a few extra times a day for me. I’ll be here, waiting. You’ll barely notice me.”
“Logan.” Her voice is only slightly amused before her face falls again.
“You want me to go?”
She looks at me and nods. Her ambivalence is my only hope.
I want to tell her what she means to me. I’ll do whatever it takes to win her back.
I know Olivia—well. She needs time. The only thing I can do is wait and hope she sees my heart—because it belongs to her.
“You deserve time to process everything,” I say softly.
I hold her gaze, hoping my eyes convey what’s in my heart.
“Thank you.”
I ache to reach out to her, so I shove my hands in my pockets, finding the cookie remnants in one, a tangible reminder of what matters most and what I must do to win her back.
This isn’t only about the promotion.
It’s really about a pattern between us. One I thought we had outgrown and moved past.
Olivia wanted the promotion. Of course she did. I was blind and careless not to consider her. If we had talked to each other first, we would have avoided this reenactment of all the times I overlooked her feelings. Instead, I reopened a wound. And now I have to be a part of healing it—if she’ll let me.
“I don’t want to lose you,” I say as I stand from my chair. “I’d rather lose anything than you.”
She musters a weak smile. The pain from today—and maybe from years between us—seeps into her grin, making her appear more melancholy than happy.
“I don’t want to lose you either,” she admits. “I just don’t know how to get beyond this.”
I nod.
“May I give you a hug?” I ask. “Before I go?”
“You’d better not,” she says. “I need to clear my head, and that won’t help.”
“I’m truly sorry, Olivia. I know those words might feel cheap. I mean them. I’d do anything to turn back time and do this differently.”
“I appreciate that,” she says softly.
There’s a formality to her tone, as if she’s closing out a meeting—one she didn’t want to attend in the first place and now she’s grateful it’s ending.
I walk to the door and turn, hoping she’ll have a change of heart and lean in for a hug. I feel like a man who has gone without water for days, standing in view of a mountain stream, but there’s so much bramble and mire between me and the source of water, I can only stare with a longing that aches through me.
Olivia steps out of reach, opening the door, keeping her personal space well defined.
“I’ll only be a phone call or text away,” I say. “Or, right there. In my apartment … which could be yours if you really want it.”
“Okay.”
That’s all she says. So, I turn and step over the threshold into the hallway.
Olivia shuts the door behind me, and nothing has ever felt so permanent as the sound of her door latching into place.