Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Edith stayed with Lavinia until it was time to dress for supper. A cool cloth held to Lavinia’s eyes had reduced the swelling enough that only those who knew her best would suspect her of crying. Edith worried that Lord St. Ambrose would know instantly.
The man was unusually perceptive, aware of everything about Lavinia.
His discovery of her pregnancy could happen at any moment.
Part of Edith wished it would happen sooner rather than later, for the marquess dearly loved Lavinia and would insist on making her his wife.
Edith would not object in the least to St. Ambrose using the pregnancy to press Lavinia into marriage.
Yet, she would never betray her friend’s confidence.
As Edith entered her chambers, she found Mr. McTaggart’s sister laying an exquisite light blue gown across her bed. Ismay flashed a wide smile in Edith’s direction. “There you are. I wondered where you’d gotten off to at this hour.” She waved Edith forward. “Come on, then. We haven’t much time.”
Edith did as Ismay commanded. “Time for what, exactly? And where did you find that gown?”
Ismay spun Edith around, unfastening the back of her dress. “Lady Thorne insisted I choose any gown from her wardrobe. The blue will complement your eyes verra well, and it’s a bit more demure. I think it’ll suit you nicely.”
Ismay’s answer didn’t address Edith’s question, but she was already tugging the day dress over Edith’s head before another word could be spoken.“Milady bid me to wish you well, and assure you no’ to concern yourself with missing supper with your clan.”
“The Thornes are not my clan,” Edith said before Ismay tossed the lovely silk gown over her head. “They are my employers. I’m no different from you or any of the other servants at Aldmist Fell.”
The girl beamed. “You’re no’ telling me anything I dinnae already know.
You’re one of us, through and through.” Having secured the gown, Ismay hurried her toward the dressing table.
“I havenae the time for anything elaborate with your hair. My brother’s walking the floors as it is.
No need to stir up his nerves more than necessary. ”
Edith gasped softly. “Mr. McTaggart is here? To see me?”
“Aye.” Ismay urged her to sit on the bench in front of the dressing table and began removing pins from her hair. “You’re dining with him this evening.” She paused, meeting Edith’s gaze in the looking glass. “If it pleases you.”
"Yes," Edith replied on a breath, her fingers trembling as she smoothed her skirts.
Mr. McTaggart had come for her after all.
If he offered marriage, she didn’t know how to answer.
Besides the obvious obstacle of her age and inability to promise him children, there was also Lavinia to consider.
Edith owed her friend everything, even though Lavinia would be the first to insist Edith follow her heart.Ismay was quick with Edith’s toilette just as she’d promised. “Have a look,” she said, stepping back.
Edith couldn’t believe the transformation.
Her blue eyes seemed more vibrant, and her hair was a lovely shade of pale blonde, woven with strands of gold.
Perhaps it was the soft gold ribbon embroidery on the gown’s bodice creating the illusion with her hair, but Edith saw a beauty she’d never realized existed. She blinked quickly to curb the tears.
“Thank you, Ismay. You’ve worked a miracle tonight.”
“Pfft…” Ismay rolled her eyes. “I uncovered what was always there. I shouldnae keep you. Fergus can get in a temper from time to time, and I dinnae like being the one responsible for his foul mood.”Edith was intimately acquainted with Mr. McTaggart’s temper, but it caused her no concern.
Nor did she believe his sister was worried.
Ismay escorted her downstairs to the servants’ dining room, where the table had been set with pristine white linen and bone china rimmed with deep red roses in full bloom.
The silver and crystal sparkled in the candlelight.
And standing on the other side of the table was a sight that made her belly quiver: Mr. McTaggart, dressed in fitted gray trousers, a dark blue jacket, and his family’s red, blue, green, and yellow plaid pinned at his shoulder.
Ismay stepped forward. “Mr. McTaggart, may I present Mistress Edith Gallagher?”
His penetrating green gaze never left Edith. “A pleasure, Mistress Gallagher.”
Ismay looked around the room, nodded in appreciation, and then left Edith alone with the handsome Scot.
Edith remained frozen, like a rabbit spotting danger, as he circled the table and approached.
Her heart beat frantically when he gently took her elbow and guided her toward a chair.
It was all she could do to keep her legs beneath her before she collapsed onto the seat.
His fingers brushed her shoulder as he pushed her chair closer to the table, sending gooseflesh prickling along her arms. “I am pleased you came, lass. I didnae know if you would.”
She didn’t know what to say. If he had stayed away, there would be no war waging inside her. Nevertheless, he was here, and lovely evening he’d planned for them filled her with wistfulness. In lieu of words, she uttered an ambiguous grunt and shook out the napkin to drape it over her lap.
Mr. McTaggart chuckled and took his seat across from her. “You learnt a thing or two from your time with the clan. I expect ye’ll be able to carry on a conversation without using a single word in no time.”
Edith smiled. Tension melted from her shoulders. “What I meant to say was… thank you for inviting me.”
“Would you like to see what we’re being served before you offer your thanks?” He lifted a silver dome from one of the dishes.
Edith’s eyes widened. “A soufflé. I never learned to make one that didn’t cave in the middle. What’s inside?”
“Corned beef.”
He served a generous spoonful onto her plate, and Edith leaned forward to inhale the savory scent. “It looks and smells delicious,” she said. “I believe I will stand by my thank you, after all.”
Next, he poured red wine into her goblet. When he set the bottle aside, she raised an eyebrow in question.
“I’m refraining from drinking anything more potent than tea,” he said with a wink. “A certain bonnie lass suggested I should keep my wits about me if I want her to take me seriously.”
Edith lifted the goblet and slowly swirled the wine, a subtle move she’d seen Lord Thorne make at supper, avoiding Mr. McTaggart’s flirtatious teasing.
Memories of their kiss on the stairway made her pulse to sputter.
But as the meal progressed and she sipped her wine, her initial tension began to ease.
Warm tingles spread through her body, soaking into her skin and heating her from the inside.
“Is this how everything could be with us?” she blurted. “Uncomplicated? Easy?”
A corner of his mouth inched up. “No’ all the time, I expect. You’re no’ the easy sort, are you, Eddi? But neither am I, so I need a woman to challenge me now and again.”
She placed her wine goblet on the table while she considered his answer. “Is that how you truly view me? I believe you called me a harpy once.”
A deep blush climbed his face. “Well, you cannae hold the past against me. That was before I knew I loved you, lass.”
Edith could sense the wine rushing through her veins, leaving her woolly-headed and uncertain she’d heard correctly. “Did you say you love me?”
“Aye.” He stood and came to urge her to stand too. His arms slid around her waist. “If I didnae love you, I wouldna have asked you to be my bride.”
“You were foxed last night. I thought you didn’t realize what you were saying.”
“Oh, aye. I knew well enough what I wanted last night.” He drew her closer, his touch comforting and exciting at the same time. “It’s the same as I want now. I’ve waited many long years to find you, Eddi, my love. I cannae allow you to walk away.”
He eased from their embrace and lowered to one knee, taking her hands in his. Edith’s fingers curled around his larger, stronger palms and held on tightly.
“Will you marry me, lass?”
Her legs trembled. She wanted to shout out her acceptance and fling herself into his arms. As a girl, she had dreamed of a moment just like this one.
A romantic proposal. A declaration of love.
Yet, never once in her dreams had she imagined choosing between remaining loyal to a friend and the man she loved.
Either way, she would disappoint someone dear to her.
“I—” She swallowed hard. “I don’t know. I mean, I do,” she rushed to clarify when his strong brows furrowed. “I-I think.”
She bit her bottom lip, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. Mr. McTaggart was correct about some things being difficult for them. Besides Lavinia needing her, there was the very real possibility Edith couldn’t bear him children.
His frown deepened, and he rose from the floor. Her heart dropped. He was giving up already.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
“We need to sort through what’s keeping you from knowing.” He slipped his arm around her shoulders and guided her from the dining room. “I cannae be the only one certain about us if we hope for a good start.”
He led her through the dim corridor toward a part of the castle she’d never seen. Candlelight flickered on the stone walls, casting eerie shadows along the winding passage. Memories of nights spent skulking through alleys in search of food or a place to sleep flashed through her mind. She shivered.
“Are you cold?” Mr. McTaggart stopped, unpinned his tartan, and wrapped it around her shoulders.
“Thank you. I’ll launder it and see it returned to you.” She pulled the soft fabric tighter around her body, brushing a corner against her cheek.
“It’s yours.” He smiled faintly. “Every McTaggart woman has one.”
She frowned, stepping back to lean against the solid wall. “Why me? I’m not young. You want children. And what of my past? Can you truly say it doesn’t concern you?”
His eyes glittered darkly in the scant light. “Aye, lass. Your past does nae concern me. You are here now, where you belong.” He stepped closer, his hands resting lightly on her hips. His touch was gentle yet grounding, offering a sense of security she’d never known.
“I wish I could go back and find you sooner, save you from all you’ve endured. But you are strong, Eddi. I expect you survived because of it, and came out even stronger.”
She lowered her gaze, guilt flooding her chest. All she’d endured, she had brought on herself. She’d chosen Jimmy Gibb. She’d gambled away her reputation and livelihood. It hadn’t been done to her. The weight of her transgressions made her want to curl in on herself, to disappear.
She couldn’t bear the thought of Mr. McTaggart looking at her with love in his eyes, oblivious to what she truly was. “You’re wrong. I’m weak. I’ve only myself to blame for my past.”
He bent toward her, his mouth close to her ear. “Nae, lass,” he whispered. “You’re no weakling in my eyes.”
Her throat ached from unshed tears. He deserved to know the truth, even if being honest meant losing him. “I-I am not an innocent.”
He drew back with a soft chuckle. “Neither am I. That should take care of any awkwardness on our wedding night.”
“That isn’t my meaning.” She sighed, unsure she could speak of her mistakes with him, let alone anyone. She could barely admit it to herself.
His smile faded, and he cradled her face in his hand, his thumb gently tracing the arc of her cheek.
“Whatever has happened, I cannae judge you. I wouldnae. This is who you are now. You are the woman I love.”
He wouldn’t love her for long.
“I lost a child,” she blurted.
His breath whooshed from him, as though she’d struck him in the gut.
“I was with child when I was turned out from my seamstress position. My pregnancy never advanced… I’m barren. I cannot give you children.” She pulled away from his hold, intent on escaping upstairs, but he caught her arm and drew her back into his embrace.
“Eddi, I am sorry for you—for the loss. But I cannae accept what you’re saying.” He cleared his throat. “H-have you been with a man since…?”
Her eyes flew open. “No! I wouldn’t make the same mistake a second time.”
The rigid lines of his jaw softened, and he brushed a kiss to her forehead.
“Many women carry a babe after losing one. My mother, for example. Sixteen years separated my sister and me. It wasnae by design.”
Edith shook her head, struggling to believe it.
“Aye, she gave birth to Ismay, then twin boys after my sister. All three are hale and hearty, and Mother was no’ a spring chicken at the time.”
“You have brothers?” The question slipped out before she could stop it. Heat rushed to her cheeks as she realized she might have met them at the family gathering and hadn’t known they were Mr. McTaggart’s brothers.
“Blair and Brodie havenae been home for a year. They serve in the 42nd Regiment.” He raised an eyebrow in mock censure. “Neither sends letters often enough to suit our mother, and they will hear about it when they return. Writing her is the least they can do, the ungrateful whelps.”
Edith couldn’t help smiling at his show of protectiveness, but she sobered as she considered what he’d revealed.
“I hadn’t considered I might be capable of bearing a healthy babe. Perhaps I will not have the same success as your mother. If I’m unable to promise you a son, do you still want me for your wife?”
He lightly grasped her chin, tipping her face up to meet his gaze. His eyes bored into hers.
“Can you promise to love me? To remain faithful, just as I will be faithful to you? Can you swear to be my helpmate, through sickness and health, good fortune and bad?”
“Yes,” she whispered. But could that ever be enough?
“Then you are everything I need, lass. The only woman I’ve ever wanted, or ever will.”
His fingers curled around her nape, drawing her forward until their lips almost touched. Her eyes fluttered closed as his warm breath caressed her cheek. Her heart faltered, forgetting how to beat properly.
“Will you take me for your husband, Eddi?”
The unknown frightened her. It always had. But surrounded by his warmth and palpable love, her courage began to grow. Sometimes, one needed to take the leap and hope for a soft landing.
“D-do you promise to catch me if I fall, Mr. McTaggart?”
“Aye, lass.” His crooked grin appeared, and her insides melted. “For the rest of our lives.”
A wide smile spread across her face. “Then you are everything I need, and the only man I will ever want.”
With a whoop, he lifted her off her feet and kissed her fiercely.