7. We are Never Getting Back Together
“Throw them away,” I say, not glancing at the third flower arrangement to arrive this week.
My assistant, Nancy, nods as she whisks them out of my office.
Leaning back into my chair with a sigh, I push a finger at the spot right above the middle of my eyebrows, rubbing it in slow circles. It’s been an adjustment to go back to sleeping alone in my house, and it’s not going well. Honestly, my last full night of sleep was in Keegan’s bed seven days ago.
When I jumped at the chance to move the same day I found out about Jared’s cheating, I didn’t have time to think about how much it would affect me. The bed doesn’t feel like mine, every noise and creak has my skin crawling, and no matter how much I turn up the heater, I’m still cold without a body tucked behind mine.
It’s an odd feeling and makes me disoriented. I don’t miss Jared. I miss my life, I miss coming home and being greeted with a kiss. I miss cooking dinner and watching our TV show on the couch. I miss getting ready for bed and being cradled in the safety of his arms like he would chase away the bad dreams.
But I hate him. The thought of kissing him makes me sick. The thought of him holding me while I sleep makes me want to run. And the thought of stepping into the house I created from the ground up, full of memories, makes my heart ache.
I only just hear the soft knock before my door is thrown open. There are only a few people in the company that Nancy would let through without prior approval, but I hadn’t expected Nathaniel Holloway. While his family owns our entire PR company, he and his brother are usually heading up the New York location.
“What are you doing way over here?” I ask, standing to give him a hug. He kisses my cheek before settling into the chair in front of my desk.
His usual cocky smirk is firmly in place. “My annual beach trip to try to convince our favorite marketing executive to move back with me.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “I don’t think I could ever live in the city. Just driving occasionally into Los Angeles gives me hives.”
Nate gives me a mocking frown. “And here I am hoping it will finally come true with a certain development.” His hesitant tone has my mood dropping again.
Staying silent for a moment, I shouldn’t be surprised the news has already made it back to him. Nate and his brother Derek take great pride in knowing everything before anyone else. It’s why our company produces some of the most successful publicists and their clients.
“Love the new hair, by the way,” he adds.
I roll my eyes. “I’m fine… Just adjusting. But I can’t leave my friends and family.”
“One day,” he taunts before sighing. “Let me know if you need any time off, okay? Enjoy yourself, have a day to do whatever that bastard never let you.”
Grimacing, I fix the papers in front of me and adjust the position of my stapler. My eyes water a bit, and I swipe a finger under my lid to catch any tears. “It’s odd. Being on the other side now. I think my mother is the only person who ever liked him, and I was just blind.”
Nate’s lips pull up in one corner and he shrugs. “Well, your mother is one of a kind. And we thank the stars for that.”
I press my tongue against the back of my teeth to stop the laugh and scrunch my nose at him. “What are you really doing here?”
“Meeting our new client, he’s a big football star. They suspect he”ll be a number one draft pick,” Nate says.
Ah, sports. That isn’t my division, which is why I wasn’t informed of Nate’s visit. Though Mark down the hall probably will make an offhand comment about Nate stopping by my office first.
“Well, I hope he’s scandal-free for at least a year.”
“Only a year?”
I smirk. “I don’t want you to get bored.”
Nate shakes his head. “Probably hand him off to a junior publicist if he seems like a non-issue.”
“To your princess? I’m sure she’s elated to have the office to herself.”
He runs his tongue along his bottom lip as he smiles at me. “She would have your balls for calling her a princess.”
“No, she likes me better than you,” I say, teasing him.
Nate stands, clearing his throat. Jasmine is his one weak spot, and the only person who doesn’t know is her. He comes to my desk, tapping his knuckles on it as he stares down with genuine concern.
“I wasn’t joking. Take the time you need.”
My chest warms. “Thanks.”
Once Nate leaves, I turn back to my computer and finish inputting Jared and Amber’s emails and phone numbers into every sign-up I can find for cruises, vacation giveaways and time-share seminars. I pause, tilting my head as I stare at the screen and debate if I should add their address for religious consultants to visit.
***
“You can’t go in there!” Nancy’s screech comes seconds before my door is flung open for the second time today and my ex-fiancé storms in.
I raise an eyebrow, leaning into my chair as he barrels toward my desk. Nancy hurries in after him, her phone clutched tight in her hand, and I’m sure she’s seconds away from alerting security.
“Keep the door open, Nancy. We’re okay,” I tell her, and her shoulders square back as she glares daggers at the man dropping his ass into a chair. Her lips thin and I wonder if she’s going to call for him to be escorted out anyway, but she turns without a word and leaves my office.
My attention falls back to the person I’ve been actively avoiding. It hurts a little less to see him in person. It doesn’t feel like a gaping hole inside my chest.
I cock my head to the side. “What are you doing here, Jared?”
His jaw clicks as he grinds his teeth back and forth. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.”
“I would think blocking your number made it obvious enough that I don’t want to talk to you,” I say.
He sighs, folding his hands into his lap. The flash of the black studded cufflinks has me biting down on my tongue. I’m not sure if he wore them on purpose, trying to coax a reaction out of me, or if he’s oblivious to the gifts I’ve given to him over the years. I bought those for his first birthday that we were together in our house. If you look close enough within, you would see the constellations of the night we became official.
“You’re not giving me a chance to explain myself, Jen? Don’t you think I deserve the chance after everything we’ve been through?” he says, and I almost laugh at his earnest tone.
I sit up straighter. “Did you fuck my sister?”
“Yes, but—”
“And did you propose to her when I found out and left you?”
“Jen. It’s not that simple—”
I laugh now. “Seems pretty black and white to me. You fucked, you got caught, you got dumped, and you leeched yourself onto the next available pussy.”
Jared flinches. He’s always hated when I cuss. My heart is beating wildly, and I try to calm my breathing to not give away the anger coursing through me. I haven’t been ready to confront him head-on like this. Hell, I’m not sure if I will ever be ready.
“It was a mistake, Jen. I didn’t want to propose, but you know how your mother is.”
I know exactly how my mother is, but that’s still a pathetic excuse. I’m disgusted that he’s refusing to take any responsibility for what he’s done.
“A mistake? I went to work, realized I forgot my laptop, and in the twenty minutes since I left and turned around… you had my sister in our bed with your cock buried inside her. That’s not a mistake. That was planned, and honestly, I don’t even care to know for how long.”
He shakes his head. “She was just there. I don’t care about her.”
“Okay, then break off the engagement and move on.”
His eyes gleam, looking up at me with a strange hopefulness. “If I call off the wedding, will you give us another chance?”
My mouth drops open. “No! I said to call it off if you don’t care about her. God, Jared. There is nothing you could say or do that would ever make me want to get back with you.”
He stands, the quick motion startling me. His palms slap onto the desk as he leans over it towards me. “Ten years, Jen. You’re just going to throw it all away without thinking?”
I stand, pushing him off my desk. He steps back, pulling at his sleeves and lapels to straighten his jacket.
“I’m just saying. We grew up together, had our firsts together. It’s not something insignificant,” he continues.
It hurts to hear a reminder of how much time I spent with such a selfish person. I blow out a shaky breath and roll my eyes, keeping the tears of anger at bay.
Then I clear the emotion off of my face and stare at the man I used to love. “I’m not throwing away anything. You did. The minute you cheated, you destroyed everything that was us. So no, Jared. I’m not giving up or throwing away anything because there’s nothing to save. You lit our relationship on fire and then pissed on its ashes.”
His jaw flexes, his color paling. “I think we could work—”
“Oh my god. You haven’t even apologized. You can’t own up to what you’ve done!” I scream, then let out a bitter and empty laugh. My arms fling to the side in frustration.
“Is that what you want? I can—”
I lick my lips and interrupt him again. “I slept with someone else.”
Jared stiffens, blinking at me as his mouth opens and closes twice before he breathes out. “What?”
My fingers itch to show him the videos of Keegan and me, but a warning blares in my mind as his face flushes red. His anger is tangible, making the air around us tense. I’ve never been afraid of Jared physically hurting me, but then again, I never thought he would cheat on me. The fact is I don’t know what he’s capable of.
I roll my shoulders. “I slept with someone else a few days ago. I’m moving on with my life; so should you.”
Jared tilts his head, staring at a framed photo on my wall. I don’t check on which one. I haven’t bothered to rip down the photos of us yet. Redecorating my office isn’t high on my list of priorities.
“Who?” he finally spits out.
Crossing my arms, I stare at him blankly. “That’s none of your business.”
Jared’s nostrils flare, his flush spreading down his neck. “I can’t believe you’d just go and fuck someone else a few days after you leave me.”
His audacity is starting to piss me off. I grab my phone and send a text to Nancy as I grind out my frustration with my teeth. Throwing my phone onto my desk, I turn back to the rat bastard whose breathing has picked up and see his fists are clenched at his sides.
“You act like I did something wrong, Jared. At least I made sure I wasn’t in a relationship first. Too bad you didn’t have the same courtesy.”
His chest falls heavier and then he strikes out, shoving everything on my desk to the floor. I startle back, falling into the chair behind me and my momentum pushes it further away from him.
“Who did you FUCK!” he shouts and my heart thunders in my ear. I’ve never seen him so upset. My stomach turns as he pants. The only thing that keeps me frozen is that he hasn’t moved to get around the desk.
A security guard busts through the doorway and grabs Jared around the waist before Jared even realizes the man is there. Jared thrashes to get away, screaming profanities.
“Jen, you fucking whore. I’ll find out who it was,” he taunts as another guard comes in to help escort him out.
Whore. That’s the word that ricochets in my mind, and I stand, following them. It’s a word he’s thrown at me multiple times during our relationship. Usually over a hairstyle, a type of clothing, or if I so much as looked at another man a certain way. Each time he wielded it at me, I had changed to whatever would appease him.
I smirk, my anger returning to fuel my confidence.
“I’ll show you how much of a whore I can be. Goodbye, Jared,” I call after him.
When his struggles increase tenfold, I know he’s heard me. The two guards toss him into the elevator and the door slides closed.
I exhale. Turning to Nancy, I give her a small smile. “Make sure they know he’s not welcome back. And if anyone sees him try, report him for trespassing.”