11. La Cucaracha
I wake up the next morning in my empty bed. The aches from the previous night and the two men who used my body send a sliver of shame coursing through me. I don’t regret it, but it was an experience way out of my comfort zone. And I’m not sure it is something I want to repeat.
Moving to get out of bed, I wince at the soreness between my legs and fall back onto my mattress. I pat around for my phone, determining it is a stay at home and have Natalie come take care of me kind of day.
Twenty minutes later, she walks in with fresh bagels and coffee, and I want to cry. I toss my phone and credit card and make grabby hands for the goodies. Natalie passes the food and climbs into bed with me before I can tell her we should move to the couch. I withhold a grimace of whatever may be on my sheets and hope Nat doesn’t notice.
“What were you buying? More lingerie for your next romp in the sheets?”
I snort. “No. I bought a cockroach at the San Antonio Zoo and named it Jared.”
She shakes her head, a smile pulling at her lips. “A worthy donation.”
“Yeah, I feel bad for the roach. Getting stuck with a name like that,” I say.
“I can’t imagine moaning it.”
My eyes widen, and I push her away as she laughs. Then my face flushes, thinking about how loud I was last night. “I actually never.. umm.. was very vocal with him.”
Natalie grimaces. “Eww. I don’t want the details, but also, I’m like very curious if the sex was bad. And why did you stay if it was?”
I take a big bite, chewing it slowly as I glare at her. She smiles, sipping her coffee as she waits patiently. I roll my eyes and swallow, washing it down with my drink. “I don’t think you realize how bad something is till you’ve experienced the opposite, you know?” I shrug, picking at the toasted edges of my bagel. “Honestly, a part of me is relieved I don’t have to marry him. I don’t think I would have ever left if I hadn’t caught him.”
Her hand reaches out and squeezes mine.
“It’s weird to be on the other side now and realize how many people actually hate him,” I say, my chest aching. “God, I wonder how many people dismiss me by my association with him alone.”
Natalie shifts, turning to face me fully. “No, babe. I think most people only stuck around because of you. Like Carson. I know for a fact he’s punched Jared a few times over comments he’s said about you.”
“What? Where did you hear that?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I watched it. One of the days I got stuck cleaning the art classroom. I walked out, and they were fighting on the field. I never knew what started it, but Carson was screaming at Jared.”
I’ve never heard of them fighting. We knew Carson the longest, but he kind of disappeared after high school. That’s why Jared grew closer to Keegan and Shane during college.
“When was this?”
My best friend hesitates, biting down on her lip.
I tilt my head, raising my eyebrow. “It’s in the past. What does it matter?”
“A few weeks before junior prom,” she mutters.
My breath blows out. We never talk about junior prom.
“Oh,” I say, drinking my coffee to coat the ache crawling up my throat.
She moves closer to me and rests her head on my shoulder. “So, was Shane’s dick as big as I hope?”
I nearly spit out the sip I just took and laugh. “Umm. It’s really thick.”
Natalie sits up straight, grabbing onto my biceps. “What aren’t you saying? Are you saying he has a small dick?”
“I just said it was thick.”
“Thick, but not long? Like what? A chode?”
Jerking back at the unexpected word, I push her off me and then pause. “Does chode mean it’s short?”
“Yeah, kind of. Like it”s thicker than it is long.”
A flush spreads down my neck. “Oh… then yeah.”
“Oh my god,” Natalie gasps. She blinks at the wall behind my bed. “I would have thought for sure he would be slinging. He’s got that whole Viking vibe to me.”
“Believe me, it still hurt going in my ass.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” she screeches. I wince at her volume, staring at her in shock.
Natalie’s eyes roam over me as if looking for some kind of change or injury. “No way you lost your anal virginity before me.”
I chuckle. “Want to see the video?”
“Uh duh, bitch. Why were we even talking if you had this gold?”
Reaching over for my phone, I go to hand it to her but pull it away as she reaches for it. “Swear this never leaves this room. As in…you don’t mention Shane’s size or Keegan’s piercings to anyone?”
Natalie squeals, clapping her hands excitedly. “Piercings? You think he would fuck me if I presented myself as an option?”
“I don’t know. Will he who-must-not-be-mentioned kill him if he finds out?”
She glares at the very mention of the man that shattered her heart, but yet is still utterly obsessed with her. “What he doesn’t know will probably save lives.”
I grin, tossing my phone into her lap and going back to my food.