19. One for the Money
“I can hop in my jet right now and make it before the reception,” Carson says, his amused tone loud in my ear as I balance the phone with my shoulder.
I laugh, crossing the straps of my heels over my legs. “I wish, but I decided to not take a date. It’s a whole statement thing.”
He hums. “I understand, but I’m not happy about it. I don’t think you should be alone, and this weekend was supposed to be mine.”
Butterflies flutter in my stomach, and I bite my lip. I’m not ready to date anyone, but spending time with Carson is healing something inside me. There’s no expectations between us. I don’t ask what he does on the days we’re not together. Though I’m sure that man knows everything I do down to the color of my underwear. The other problem is that I also enjoy spending time with Oliver. Somewhere the lines have gotten blurred, but the two men are okay with splitting my time with each other. I haven’t bothered to ask the details on that just yet, a little nervous about where it would lead. Oliver hasn’t initiated anything more than a few kisses, and I’ve been appreciative of it.
I switch to my other foot and clear my throat. “Oliver will be there.”
The question is if his soon-to-be ex-wife will be there too. They started the divorce proceedings the week after the Christmas party, but she’s been reluctant to sign. At this point, I wouldn’t put it past my mother to invite her.
“And Keegan and Shane too,” Carson grumbles.
I try not to smile at his jealousy. I’m still not ready to date anyone, but it is still nice to feel wanted. “I told you it’s not like that with them. We had fun and then we moved on. Keegan cannot be tied down.” Plus if he settled down with anyone, it would be with Shane. A low throb aches in my pussy at the thought of that night they shared me.
“Hmm. Sounds like someone else I know,” Carson teases.
I move back to my vanity to look over my makeup one last time. “For good reason…I also promised you and Oliver I wasn’t out sowing my oats. That’s rather generous of me.”
I laugh at the growl that echoes in my ear. “Calm down, you’re like a feral animal. I need to finish getting ready and head to the valley.”
Carson sighs. “I’ll have my phone on me all night, okay? Call me for anything.”
His consideration makes me swoon, and I’m glad he can’t see the goofy smile on my face. “Thanks,” I tell him sincerely.
“I think you’re incredible for even going. No one would blame you if you didn’t.”
I don’t say anything because I don’t feel incredible. I feel tired and geared up for another battle. “I’ll talk to you later, Carson. Thanks for checking in with me.”
“Always, beautiful.”
Handing the valet my keys, I shift uncomfortably to the side and glance down the empty path to the vineyard. Nick was supposed to meet me out here, but no one was waiting when I pulled up. Fiddling with my phone, I only wait for another moment before deciding to walk in alone.
Standing tables are scattered throughout the lobby, guests lingering around them with a glass in their hand. I stand to the side of the entrance, not recognizing anyone there. The doubt of me coming today crawls up my throat, suffocating me as embarrassment burns my ears.
“Are you Jenica?” a voice asks beside me.
I frown at the unfamiliar man. He looks like a member of the staff. “Yeah?”
He smiles. “I’ve been told to guide you to the family suite.”
Hating the relief that sails through me, I nod and follow him up the stairs. He leads me to a hallway of doors before stopping at the end and opening the door for me.
My stomach drops as soon as I enter the room and I see the man waiting for me on the other side.
“What do you want, Jared?” I ask.
“I just wanted to talk to you one more time.”
“What else could there possibly be to say?”
His eyes drag down the length of my body, and I suppress a shiver. I don’t notice the cold, malicious sneer forming on his face. His lips tilt up at one corner. “I actually wanted to say thank you.”
“Thank you?” I repeat.
“Yes,” he says as he turns away from me to face the mirror, straightening his tie. “I’ve taken the past few months to realize I wanted more than you were willing to give me. While it might’ve been an unfortunate situation that got us to this point, we’re both better off, don”t you agree?”
A singular eyebrow raises on his face as he locks his gaze with mine through the mirror.
“I think I would’ve been stuck with you if I weren’t given the opportunity to realize I could do better,” he continues.
Bile rises in my throat the longer he speaks. I’m not sure if he’s being purposely cruel, or if he truly believes every word he’s saying. The irony is that he’s right. Not that I’m not good enough for him, but he”s never been good enough for me. And while I find it aggravating that he believes such a thing, I can’t hold back my laugh.
I shake my head and smile. “Good for you, Jared. If you thought I was attending your wedding because some delusional part of your brain thinks I want you back then let”s break that fantasy right here.”
I step back, closer to the door. “I only came to get closure on this chapter of my life and move on. If I hadn’t shown up, it would’ve been a bigger deal to my family than it is to me. You two deserve each other.”
”And you deserve to be alone like the frigid bitch that you are,” he retorts. His nostrils flare with his annoyance.
I grip the handle of the door and open it. “Next time you have an urge to talk to me, don’t. I could’ve gone without all this before you joined my sister at the altar.”
I don’t wait for a reply as I leave the room, each step away from him fueled by a hateful fury like I first felt when he betrayed me. When I make my way back through the lobby of the vineyard, arms catch around my waist and I’m turned into a hard chest, and the familiar musk of Keegan relaxes my muscles.
“Where are you rushing off to, baby doll?” he asks with a laugh.
“Running away, actually,” I tell him. I push away from him. “Remember those little videos we made?”
Confusion flickers over his face. “How could I forget?” he says, hesitantly.
“Would you care if other people saw it?”
“In what way?”
I look around at the gathering guests who are heading towards the rows of chairs set up in the field. “Like in a private showing, in front of a few hundred guests to make a point.”
“Oh,” Keegan says, his hand caressing his jaw. He takes a step away from me as well. “Why?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t have a real reason other than fuck him. He doesn’t get to keep talking to me as if what he did actually helped us, and then, in the next sentence feel sorry that I can never get anyone better than him. He stole so much of my time. Why does he get a happy ending?”
“Some would say he’s not,” Shane mutters behind me. I hadn’t felt him walk up, but he’s usually never far from Keegan so I’m not surprised.
“She’s asking if she can show our tape,” Keegan says with his attention on Shane.
“Would you show it if we said no?” he asks.
I don’t think I would, but I hesitate to give them a clear answer because I want to show it to break whatever delusion Jared has that I am sitting at home crying over the loss of him.
“Jenica, there you are.” My mother sidles up to me, grabbing onto my elbow. “The ceremony is about to start. We need to take our seats.” She gives Keegan and Shane a tight-lipped smile and pulls me away from them.
I let her, my teeth grinding together as she leads me closer to the constructed arch. “You know this is such bullshit.”
Her nails dig into my arm. “Then why did you come?”
“Because to not come means they won,” I say, pulling out of her hold.
She huffs out an annoyed hum. “This isn’t a game of who won and who lost. Do I think it’s despicable what Jared did to you? Yes, Jenica. Did you need to hear that? Does it make the truth hurt any less? In case you forgot, I have another daughter. Another daughter who is in love with a man that led her down a horrible path that has caused her to make bad decision after bad decision. You don’t need me by your side, she does.”
I slump down into the chair in the front row, my ears ringing as I try to calm the overwhelming anguish filling me. My mouth waters, and I blink repeatedly to fight back the tears. I don’t know why it surprises me that my mother continues to not even feel sorry about abandoning me.
“Did you ever think that maybe I needed you too?” I ask her.
She’s still in the seat next to me. Her chin tilts up as she watches down the aisle, refusing to answer me.
Shaking my head, I pull out my phone and hide it near my chest as I find exactly what I’m looking for. If no one is going to care about how much they hurt me, then I’m going to show them why they should have thought twice.